Reading, unless you’re reading aloud, tends to be a solitary past-time. However, watching movies based on or inspired by books can be a group activity. Watching movies inspired by Christmas books could be a fun way to combine the best of both worlds while visiting loved ones during the holiday season. So here, for your watching pleasure, is a selection of Christmas movies based on books.
How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Although not as old as some, How the Grinch Stole Christmas (Dr. Seuss) is definitely a Christmas classic. Three film adaptations of the story have come out, in 1966, 2000, and 2018.
The Polar Express
The Polar Express by Chris Van Allsburg. The 2004 movie has had a mixed reception, but it appears that most people like the book.
‘Twas the Night Before Christmas
Clement Moore’s 1823 poem Account of a Visit from Saint Nicholas is more commonly known as ’Twas the Night Before Christmas. There was a silent film version of the story made in 1905. The original plot is a secondary story in the 1974 film by Arthur Rankin and Jules Bass—but then, most movies vary from the books. The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) retains almost nothing of the original story except Santa Claus and his reindeer!
A Christmas Carol also inspired Philip Van Doren Stern’s 1943 short story The Greatest Gift. In 1946, Frank Capra produced It’s a Wonderful Life, loosely based on Stern’s story.
With its snowy setting and themes of overcoming winter, Hans Christian Andersen’s fairy tale The Snow Queen, is often included with Christmas stories. The story has been made into several films, ballets, operas, ice skating productions, television series, and animes. The 2013 Disney film Frozen is loosely based on the original Andersen story.
Terry Pratchett’s 1996 comedic novel Hogfather, though taking place in an entirely fantasy world, “begins on a midwinter festival bearing a remarkable similarity to your Christmas.” In 2006, the BBC adapted the novel as a four-hour miniseries.
Technically, Miracle on 34th Street shouldn’t be here, as the book by Valentine Davies and the movie came out simultaneously in 1947. But who wants to be technical? The film was remade in 1994.
And if you want still more movie options, go to imbd.com for 100+ Christmas movies based on books.
Of course, you should feel free to read the books instead—or even in addition!
As a writer, I enjoy playing with words. This is one of my favorite sesquipedalian word games. How many of the following songs can you name? Hint: they’re all Christmas songs.
Note: a title may occur more than once.
1. Move hitherward the entire assembly of those who are loyal to their faith.
2. Listen, the celestial messengers produce harmonious sounds.
3. Nocturnal timespan of unbroken quietness.
4. An emotion excited by the acquisition of expectation of good given to the terrestrial sphere.
5. Embellish the interior passageways.
6. Heavenly beings from exalted surroundings.
7. Twelve o’clock on a clement night witnessed its occurrence.
8. Tintinnabulation of vacillating pendulums in inverted, metallic resonant cups.
9. Small municipality in Judea southeast of Jerusalem.
10. Diminutive masculine master of skin covered percussionist cylinders.
11. Omnipotent supreme being who elicits respite to ecstatic, distinguished male personages.
12. Natal celebration devoid of color.
13. In awe of the nocturnal timespan characterized by religious consecration.
14. The first person nominative plural of triumvirate of far eastern heads of state.
15. In a distant location the existence of an impoverished unit of newborn children’s slumber furniture.
16. Jovial yuletide desired for the second person singular or plural by us.
17. Castaneous-colored seed vesicated in a conflagration.
18. Red man enroute to borough.
19. Frozen precipitation commence.
20. Quadruped with the vermillion proboscis.
21. Delight for this planet.
22. The dozen festive 24 hour intervals.
23. Bleached yule.
24. Singular yearning for the twin anterior incisors.
25. Righteous darkness.
26. Arrival time: 2400 hours; weather: cloudless.
27. Loyal followers advance.
28. Far off in a feeder.
29. Array the corridor.
30. Bantam male percussionist.
31. Monarchial triad.
32. Nocturnal noiselessness.
33. Proceed and enlighten on the pinnacle.
34. Query regarding identity of descendant.
35. Give attention to the melodious celestial beings.
Bottom Line: Is a song by any other name as melodious?
—Increased productivity: Gratitude can increase productivity by activating the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for critical thinking and rational thought processes.
—Strengthened self-worth.
—Optimism: Positive reframing underlies the relationship between trait gratitude and a sense of coherence. A sense of coherence is how confident a person feels about potential life outcomes. It is the degree to which a person feels optimistic and in control of future events (Lambert, Graham, Fincham, & Stillman, 2009).
—Reduced stress: Gratitude can help calm the nervous system and reduce stress. (UCLA HealthMar 22, 2023)
Physically Grateful
from The Greater Good Science Center
— Every time a person expresses or receives gratitude, dopamine releases in the brain, thus making a connection between the behavior and feeling good. The more a person practices gratitude, the more often dopamine releases.
—Better sleep: People who practice gratitude tend to sleep better and longer.
Encourages the development of patience, humility, and wisdom
Group Gratitude
Strengthens relationships
Increases prosocial behaviors
May help employees’ effectiveness
May increase job satisfaction
Research Into Gratitude
Emmons & Mishra (2011) concluded that there is “considerable evidence that gratitude builds social resources by strengthening relationships and promoting prosocial actions.”
Gratitude disconnects us from toxic, negative emotions and the ruminating that often accompanies them. Writing a letter “shifts our attention” so that our focus is on positive emotions.
Expressing gratitude helps us even if we don’t explicitly share it with someone. We’re happier and more satisfied with life because we “said it to ourselves.”
The positive effects of gratitude writing compound like interest. You might not notice the benefit of a daily or weekly practice, but after several weeks and months, you will.
A gratitude practice trains the brain to be more in tune with experiencing gratitude — a positive plus a positive, equaling more positives.
“In the past, I always thought of gratitude as a spontaneous response to the awareness of gifts received, but now I realize that gratitude can also be lived as a discipline. The discipline of gratitude is the explicit effort to acknowledge that all I am and have is given to me as a gift of love, a gift to be celebrated with joy.”
Grateful people help the people who helped them (benefactors) and strangers similarly, and
Reminding people who helped them (a benefactor) still increased helping behavior exhibited toward strangers. The reciprocity norm wasn’t a factor.
Dickens and DeSteno (2018) found an association between self-control (patience) and gratitude. Grateful people delay future rewards to a higher degree than ungrateful people, positively affecting one’s finances. Increasing levels of gratitude could also help people positively affect health-related behaviors.
Robert Emmons (2010), a preeminent scholar in this field, makes the argument that gratitude allows a person to do several things:
Journal about things, people, or situations for which you are grateful. Consider including negative situations like avoiding an accident, for instance.
Think about someone for whom you are grateful.
Write a gratitude letter to someone for whom you are thankful. Consider sending it or giving it to them in person.
Do the “Count Your Blessings” exercise (at the end of the day, write down three things for which you were grateful).
Practice saying “thank you” in a real and meaningful way. Be specific. For example, “Thank you for taking the time to read this article and leave a comment. I enjoy reading your contributions because they broaden my understanding of this subject.”
Write thank you notes. Some might say this is a lost art. Challenge yourself to write one hand-written note every week for one month.
If religious, pray about your gratitude or use specific prayers of gratitude. Interfaith Worker Justice offers Muslim, Jewish, and Christian examples. Secular Seasons has several graces and invocations. You also can find a collection of secular gratitude approaches on BE. Orlando Humanist Fellowship.
Recall a negative event. Doing this helps you appreciate your current situation.
Be mindful of your five senses. How does each enhance your life?
Create visual reminders to practice gratitude. Sticky notes, notifications, and people are great for this.
Focus on the good that others have done on your behalf.
Be a grateful gazer. Be on the lookout for opportunities to feel grateful.
Give something up. We tend to adapt to newness; sometimes it’s a good idea to give something up so that we can increase our appreciation of it.
Think about what your life would be like if a specific positive event [hadn’t] happened. Write all the decisions and events that would have been different in your life. For instance, what if you didn’t meet your spouse? What if you didn’t get the dream job you have now? What if you hadn’t stopped a particular bad habit?
There’s always something to be grateful for!
Lack of Gratitude
Unfortunately, not everyone eagerly jumps onto the gratitude bandwagon. Emmons (2013) offers the following characteristics of ingratitude:
Excessive sense of self-importance
Arrogance
Vanity
Unquenchable need for admiration and approval
Sense of entitlement
Thomas Gilovich (2017) describes ingratitude as the result of “adaptation, dwelling on negatives, and skewed perceptions of hardships.” In Enemies of Gratitude, Gilovich explains how and why these three experiences interfere with one’s ability to express gratitude.
Appreciating the positives in one’s life making life better seems a little woo-woo, not to mention circular. But there’s a ton of research indicating that it works. And it’s a small, no-cost investment with potentially great rewards.
If you look for synonyms or associations, you find words like grime, dust, soot, smut, muck, mud, filth, sludge, slime, ooze, dross, scum, pollution, waste, smudges, stains, crud, yuck, grunge, and the list goes on. Dirt certainly has negative associations.
When one isn’t being literal? Well, there’s scandal, gossip, revelations, rumor(s), tittle-tattle, slander, libel, calumny, smears, lowdown, dope, poop. Yep, dirt has lots of black marks against it.
And that’s not even counting dirty words, dirty dancing, dirty jokes, dirty looks, dirty minds…
The slang meaning of “eating dirt” means to accept blame, guilt, criticism, or insults without complaint; to humble or abase oneself.
Is There Nothing Good About Dirt?
The obvious answer comes from growing plants: any gardener or farmer swears by good dirt.
Not so obvious: exposure to dirt and microorganisms can help train your immune system to fight off foreign substances and build resilience to illnesses.
What follows is for informational purposes only. For medical advice or diagnosis, consult a professional.
Dirt and bacteria in the environment help your immune system learn how to react to foreign substances.
Early exposure to microbes helps children develop regulatory T cells, which are white blood cells that control how the immune system responds to foreign invaders. Mycobacterium vaccae, a type of bacteria found in soil, can reduce inflammation and improve mood by influencing the release of serotonin.
Playing in mud can be beneficial for a child’s health.
Outside activities like mountain biking, camping, and hiking can help people come into contact with a diverse microbial ecosystem.
Don’t constantly clean an infant’s pacifier. A dirty pacifier can stimulate your child’s immune system.
Having a furry pet in the home, regardless of how clean the pet is kept, will introduce bacteria and pet dander into the atmosphere.
And Then There is Actually Eating Dirt!
Mud cookies in Haiti, by David Levene
Written accounts of humans eating dirt date back more than 2,000 years. For many people, all over the world, dining on dirt is nothing out of the ordinary. Now an extensive meta-analysis reported in the June, 2011 issue of The Quarterly Review of Biology helps explain why.
Dr. Sera Young and her colleagues analyzed reports from missionaries, plantation doctors, explorers, and anthropologists to put together a database of more than 480 cultural accounts of people eating dirt. According to this research, the most probable explanation for humans eating dirt (geophagy) is that it protects the stomach against toxins, parasites, and pathogens.
“The database shows that geophagy is documented most commonly in women in the early stages of pregnancy and in pre-adolescent children. Both categories of people are especially sensitive to parasites and pathogens, according to Young and her colleagues. In addition, geophagy is most common in tropical climates where foodborne microbes are abundant. Finally, the database shows that people often eat earth during episodes of gastrointestinal stress. It’s unlikely the intestinal problems are caused by the dirt itself because the type of clay people usually eat comes from deep in the ground, where pathogens and parasites are unlikely to contaminate it. Plus, people usually boil the clay before eating it.”
University of Chicago Press Journals. “Eating dirt can be good for the belly, researchers find.” ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 4 June 2011
In one 2017 study, 54% of pregnant women in South Africa ate dirt, and three-quarters of them ate more than 3 teaspoons per day.
Although soil is generally low in nutritive value, deficiencies in iron and zinc may play a role in why some people eat dirt. A 2023 study of children from Sri Lanka suggested that pica (eating things that aren’t food) could indicate a zinc deficiency because the average zinc levels in the children with pica were significantly lower than the average zinc levels in the group without pica.
Note: Eating dirt can be dangerous because soil may contain harmful substances like heavy metals, human waste, and parasites.
Numerous bacterial genera and species that produce antibiotics in vitro have been isolated from different soils. Actinomycetes, in particular Streptomyces species, have been the primary resource of clinical antibiotics and other therapeutics.
Immunologists and allergists in Europe are working on the so-called “farm effect.” Children raised on ecologically managed farms in Central Europe have much lower rates of allergy and asthma than urban children or those raised on industrialized farms. Almost everything points to microbes—in manure, in unpasteurized milk, in stable dust, on unwashed food and, yes, in the soil. How soil microbes and other farm microbes protect against allergic diseases is still a matter of debate.
Volunteering is a positive thing, as nearly everyone agrees. A volunteer benefits not just their community but reaps a range of benefits mentally, professionally, and personally.
Maureen Sullivan and Shirley Conn, American Women’s Voluntary Services (F. Palumbo, 1941)
Words associated with volunteering include:
Passionate
Reliable
Team player
Patient
Creative
Energetic
Positive
Willing to help
Compassionate
Organized
Why to Volunteer
So, if you volunteer, you are likely to enhance your image. But if your image is “fine,“ why bother? There are many more substantive reasons for people—even selfish people—to volunteer.
Social scientist have studied the phenomenon of volunteering for years, and the benefits are clearly documented for physical benefits, a range of mental and emotional positives as well as a sense of self-worth, and social networking.
Dr. Eric Kim, psychologist, has studied the connection between psychological well-being and physical health. One study, published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine, followed people who volunteered at least two hours per week over a period of four years. According to Kim, “Our minds and bodies are rewarded when we give to others.” Study participants showed less chance of early death and also reduced “physical functioning limitations.”
Developing confidence: discovering hidden talents that may change the volunteer’s view of their own self-worth.
Learning new/valuable skills: opportunity to develop transferable skills applicable to any position, such as interpersonal communication, time management, leadership, delegation, communication, leadership and problem-solving.
Networking: volunteer work can demonstrate to those who may be in a position to recommend you to others or hire you for a paid position based on the kind of person you are (e.g. how you work with others, how you approach tasks, how you take initiative, how you manage your time).
Targeted volunteering gives you the opportunity to develop meaningful connections with professionals in your field of interest.
Career exploration: volunteering is also a great way to explore different career opportunities by engaging with professionals in a variety of fields to better understand your interests, likes and dislikes and determine which fields you might want to pursue further.
Other professional benefits:
Gaining professional experience
Expand your resume
Career advancement
Develop social skills
Mental Health Benefits
Mental health professionals agree that focusing on a cause outside of yourself has many benefits for mental health and well-being.
Interrupts tension-producing patterns.
Increase happiness: reduce stress, combat depression, anxiety and loneliness by releasing dopamine.
Moods and emotions, like optimism, joy, and control over one’s fate, strengthen the immune system.
Physical health (by encouraging more physical activity)
Gratification of giving back
Meet new people/make new friends
Finding purpose
And bring fun into your life!
Benefits to Your Community
Community cohesion: assisting in uniting people from diverse backgrounds to work toward a common goal and building camaraderie through teamwork.
Personal growth and fulfillment: through working with local non-profit agencies, learn about the functions and operations of our government, gain knowledge of local resources available to solve community needs.
Saving resources: volunteering provides valuable community services so more money can be spent on local improvements. The estimated value of a volunteer’s time in California is $26.87 per hour based on the Corporation for National & Community Service.
Cons of Volunteering
The constraints on time, funding, or manpower can make it tough for volunteers to hit their goals or create a significant impact. Such failures can cause the volunteers to lose faith in the cause or in the benefits of volunteering altogether.
In addition, you may also encounter resistance. Introducing new ideas or initiatives can face pushback, both from within the organization and the community.
Bottom Line: Weighing the pros and cons, even selfish self-interest supports volunteering.
The relationship between clothing and psychology has been studied for decades. The major point overall is that the relationship between clothing and psychology is bidirectional. Not only do our clothing choices reflect our identity, but they can also influence our thoughts and feelings.
Clothes can be a way to express ourselves without saying a word. As a form of nonverbal communication, clothes can reveal our inner emotional states to others—or hide them.
Mood
On a given day, clothes may be a reflection of one’s mood OR a projection of the mood we want people to think we are feeling. For example, someone who wears bright colors may be feeling outgoing and confident, or want to appear that way. Someone who chooses black may be reserved and serious, or want to seem so. Also, over centuries, dark and dull colors were the colors of mourning, sometimes required more than felt.
On days when we feel happy and positive, we tend to gravitate towards bright colors and playful patterns. Conversely, during times of sadness or anxiety, we may find ourselves reaching for comfortable and cozy clothing in neutral tones. Our clothing can become a reflection of how we are feeling.
Nostalgia
Certain clothing items can evoke nostalgia. As humans, we have an innate ability to attach emotions and memories to objects, including clothing that holds sentimental value or reminds us of a specific time or place in our lives. By definition, nostalgia means thinking of past happy moments filled with joy and warmth.
One reason certain clothing items hold strong nostalgic value is because they were worn during significant events or milestones in our lives. For example, a wedding dress, or a graduation gown that brings back memories of hard work and achievement.
The opposite is also true: some items of clothing or jewelry may bring back powerful memories of loss or grief.
Comfort
Physical comfort is essential for our overall well-being. When we wear comfortable clothing, we feel relaxed and at ease. It allows us to move freely, without restrictions or discomfort. Comfortable clothes can also boost our confidence as we don’t have to constantly adjust or worry about how we look. This sense of ease can positively impact our mood by reducing stress and anxiety levels.
Self-Perception
The clothes we wear can also influence how we feel about ourselves. Studies have shown that people tend to feel more confident when dressed more formally than when dressed more casually. When we feel confident and put together, it can positively affect our mindset and give us a sense of power and control. The explanation posited is that dressing in professional attire signals importance and authority, which can boost one’s self-esteem. This phenomenon, known as “enclothed cognition,” highlights the powerful impact clothing can have on our psychological state.
The saying “dress for the job you want, not the job you have” holds true in many professional settings. When we dress professionally, we are projecting an image of competence, credibility, and authority. Participants in a study paid closer attention and made fewer mistakes on a test when they wore white lab coats. Women in another study performed either worse or more variably on both athletic and cognitivetasks when required to wear clothing that draws attention to their bodies. This not only affects how others perceive us but also how they respond to us, as a competent authority—further boosting self-esteem and confidence.
Reflective and Affective Color
Color can both affect our emotions and reflect them. For instance, red is associated with passion and energy while blue represents calmness and stability. Our brains associate green with nature, growth, balance, and harmony while yellow represents happiness and optimism. These associations can shape how others perceive us based on the color of clothing we choose to wear.
The colors we choose to wear have a significant impact on our mood and behavior. This is because colors can evoke different emotions and feelings, making us feel happy, calm, energized, or even anxious. The psychology of color has been studied extensively, with research showing that certain hues can trigger specific reactions in the brain.
Personality for Color Preferences
Color preferences are related to personality traits.
Juliet Ju and Jung Hee Ha researched the relationships between personality and color preferences in 2022. Their research reveals a positive correlation between agreeableness and preference for yellow, light blue, and white, and a negative correlation between agreeableness and a preference for red. In addition, they found a positive correlation between conscientiousness and a preference for light blue and dark blue, and a negative correlation between conscientiousness and a preference for red.
Meanwhile, emotional stability was positively correlated with a preference for light blue, dark blue, and white, and negatively correlated with red and yellow. Finally, openness to new experiences was positively correlated with a preference for bright blue and white, and negatively correlated with a preference for orange.
This research found that color preferences significantly predicted all personality traits except extraversion. Agreeableness was significantly predicted by yellow, light blue, and white preferences. They found that the preference for light blue significantly predicted conscientiousness. Emotional stability was significantly predicted by red and light blue preferences. Openness to new experiences was predicted by green, purple, and white preferences.
Good to know if you are trying to manipulate the impression you are making!
Red is associated with passion, love, and power. It is a bold and intense color that can increase heart rate and blood pressure, making us feel more alert and energized. Wearing red clothing can also make us appear more confident and attractive. On the other hand, too much red can also lead to feelings of anger or aggression.
Blueis known for its calming effect on the mind and body. It is often associated with trust, stability, and intelligence. Studies have shown that wearing blue clothing can lower blood pressure and heart rate while promoting relaxation. This makes it an ideal color to wear during stressful situations or when you need to remain focused. FYI, overall blue is America’s favorite color.
Yellowis a bright and cheerful color that symbolizes happiness, optimism, and creativity. It has been found to stimulate mental activity and boost energy levels. Wearing yellow clothing can help improve your mood on days when you are feeling down or unmotivated.
Greenrepresents nature, growth, balance, and harmony. It has a calming effect on the eyes as it reflects most light wavelengths evenly. Wearing green clothing can promote feelings of tranquility while reducing anxiety levels.
Impact of Clothing Patterns
A study by George K Stylios, Meixuan Chen indicated that patterns on clothing also affect the mood and behavior of the wearer and the observer. In particular, repeating patterns increase theta brain waves, indicating people take more pleasure in these compared to non-repeating ones. People were also more excited by strong, intense patterns than weak or subtle ones.
So, if you want to attract attention, opt for an intense, repeating pattern. If you’re going for a calming but pleasant effect, wear something with a subtly repeating pattern. Clothing without any patterns tends to have less effect on the brain of the observer, which may be helpful for someone who wishes to be unobtrusive. Wearing an intense, non-repeating pattern will have a very strong, edgy effect.
Values and Beliefs
Values and beliefs can be revealed by clothing. A t-shirt or hat with a slogan will make an immediate statement about the wearer’s beliefs, but other signs may not be as obvious. For example, someone who wears clothing made from sustainable, eco-friendly materials might signal their commitment to environmental causes, while someone who chooses to wear clothing from a particular cultural tradition might be expressing their connection to that culture. In this way, the clothes we wear can serve as a visual representation of our beliefs and values.
Identity Reinforcement
We often choose clothing that reinforces our existing self-concept. If you see yourself as a creative individual, you might gravitate toward unique and artistic fashion choices. On the other hand, if you identify as a professional, your wardrobe may consist of business attire that reflects your dedication to your career.
Social Identity
We tend to dress in ways that align with the social groups we belong to or aspire to be part of. Subcultures, such as punk, goth, or hip-hop, often have distinct fashion styles associated with them. By adopting clothing related to a particular subculture, individuals signal their membership and allegiance to that group. It’s a way of saying, “I belong here.”
None of This is Infallible
It is important to recognize that clothing choice cannot definitively reveal a person’s personality. All of the points covered in this blog are based on group data, and individuals vary a great deal. So, while clothing can provide some clues, it cannot accurately define a person’s personality. Remember that quite a lot of personal fashion is determined by elements outside the wearer’s control!
Bottom Line: Clothing is more than just a practical necessity. Understanding the psychology behind our clothing choices can lead to greater self-awareness and a more intentional approach to the messages we convey through our attire. So the next time you stand in front of your closet, remember that your clothing choices are more than just fabric and threads; they reflect who you are and who you aspire to be.
There’s no denying that clothes are important. They are (arguably) the first thing people see when they see you—front, back, or sideways. People may infer a lot from your clothes, everything from socio-economic class to what you like. Are they accurate?
Sometimes. In my opinion, there are multiple factors that determine what one wears at any given time. Our clothing choices are not static; rather, they adapt to different circumstances. The way you dress for a job interview will likely differ from how you dress for a casual weekend with friends. Adaptability reflects our ability to navigate social situations effectively. We use clothing as a tool to project the desired image.
Factors Outside Yourself That Affect Clothing Choices
Socio-Economic Standing
As a child, I wore whatever my mother made for me, plus hand-me-downs from older cousins. Although places such as resale stores, Goodwill, and Ashland Christian Emergency Services may provide access to clothes one might not be able to afford otherwise, perfect tailoring, high fashion, and accessories such as fur just aren’t available to most working class/blue- or pink-collar people.
Accessibility
Related to socio-economic standing is the issue of what clothes a person is able to obtain and wear. Wealthy people can afford to have clothes tailored or even custom-made to fit, but everyone else is generally limited to what is available on the rack. Even trying to make or alter your own clothes requires skill, time, and materials. People with measurements outside the average often have to settle for what fits rather than what they like.
Though they have improved a bit in recent years, many clothing lines that cater to plus-size women still offer only dark colors, floral prints, boxy silhouettes, and outdated trends. Additionally, many brands simply scale up clothing designed for thinner bodies, making clothes that don’t fit at the shoulders and hips or don’t bend properly at the knees and elbows.
Exceptionally tall or short fashionistas face similar problems when trying to choose clothing. A friend who is very tall hates tunic style tops but often can’t find anything else long enough for her torso. Her equally tall husband generally settles for shirts too large in the shoulders because those are the only ones that don’t bare his navel. Another friend has to shop for footwear exclusively in the children’s section because those are the only shoes small enough for her feet.
Work
Although the line has blurred since the COVID restrictions made work-from-home and on-line-commuting common, most people can still look at their closets/dressers and identify which clothes are specifically for work—at least for Zoom meetings!
The most obvious work place attire is seen where uniforms are required: members of the military, nurses, fast-food workers, flight attendants, athletic teams, and the like.
But beyond such obvious uniforms, think about what you expect to see on a funeral director; priest, minister, rabbi, or mullah; fashion designer; orchestra member; member of Congress, etc. Although these (and many other) professions do not have a single uniform per se, nevertheless informal or even formal dress codes apply. At one time, when part of my job included overseeing secretarial and clerical staff who met the public, I told the employees (all female at the time) no cleavage, no pits, no crotch, and no jeans on the job.
Astronauts must wear clothing to keep them safe aboard a rocket ship or in the cold vacuum of space.
Some jobs require specific clothing styles for safety or convenience. Locksmiths need to wear shoes with steel toe caps and no laces where shards of metal could work their way inside. General contractors often wear cargo pants and utility belts with plenty of pockets to hold tools and materials. Anyone working in a kitchen is going to prefer shirts with closely fitting sleeves. People with particularly messy workplaces, such as auto mechanics and crime scene cleaners, may opt to wear a full-body coverall at work to protect their regular clothing.
Dress for Success
As jobs change, so does one’s clothing. As a college professor I wore tweeds, wool, boots, and almost no jewelry. For over ten years as an executive in association management and academic administration, I wore skirted banker suits, pearls, a moderate amount of gold jewelry, and two-inch heels with matching handbags and briefcase.
In late1970s and early ‘80s, John T. Molloy published many Dress for Success books. I suspect that his advice is outdated: today, I met with a female bank manager who wore slacks and a cable-knit sweater.
Still, the concept remains the same. Although the specifics vary, dressing for success is still a real thing. Proverbial wisdom says, “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.” And then there is this hint of who is striving: you can tell who’s on the way up by whose shoes are shined.
In Retirement/At Leisure
This is where one is likely to get the clearest insight into personal clothing preferences.
No longer dressing for paid work, I wear flat black shoes, comfortable pants, casual tops, and lots of silver jewelry (usually earrings, necklace, bracelet, watch, and multiple rings on each hand). Even so, I’m a little more formal for symphony, opera, or theater. Society still has expectations about what people ought to wear. Regardless of work status, what one wears to a worship service is very likely different from what one wears to a ballgame. (All of the following factors still apply.)
Geographic Location/ Weather/ Season
Not to belabor the point: what is necessary in upstate New York in winter isn’t appropriate in South Carolina, and what is worn in South Carolina is likely inadequate in upstate New York. And all of America tends to dress more casually than the rest of the world.
Just look at traditional national costumes from countries with varying climates and compare that with what is considered socially acceptable now. Along with lightweight fabrics, society is more likely to accept bared shoulders, shorts, open-toed shoes in hot, humid climates. Going to work in a sleeveless shirt and shorts would likely cause raised eyebrows in Norway. Wearing a fur-lined parka to the beach in Thailand might cause heat stroke!
Ceremonies and Celebrations
Think funeral, wedding, employee party, anniversary, baby shower, Halloween party… Again, this is pretty obvious, although it differs over time and by peer group—and personal preference!
In September of the same year, I attended the weddings of my oldest and youngest daughters. For numerous reasons, including geography, I wasn’t involved in the planning of either event. My husband and I gave each daughter a check (for the same amount of money) and said, “Do what you will.”
The older daughter’s wedding was held in an historic meeting house in New England and involved a white dress and veil, 6 attendants in matching dresses, a sit-down reception, and dancing. I wore a dress suitable for the mother of the bride.
The younger daughter was married in the back yard of the house where she and her soon-to-be-husband were living, with baskets of flowers nailed to railroad ties. He wore a tailored green silk suit and shirt; she wore a white, spaghetti-strap mini-dress, a circle of daisies in her hair, and platform sandals. The reception was an outdoor barbecue. The guests sported leather, chains, denim, and tattoos. I wore casual pants and top.
Note: people who dress to the expected norms tell us much less about themselves than the rebels who defy expectations.
Clothes for Functionality
Sometimes, fashion is the result of function, clothing and accessories that allow the body to move and perform in ways otherwise impossible. Think of a soccer player’s cleats or a fly fisher with a many-pocketed vest and rubber boots.
Medically Adapted Clothes
Some people choose clothes for medical reasons rather than fashionable ones, though the two can sometimes be combined. People who use mobility devices like wheelchairs or crutches might choose clothing that drapes nicely when seated or has no chance of tangling. Those who have attached medical devices, such as chemotherapy ports, insulin pumps, or colostomy bags can buy or adapt clothing that allows easier access these devices. Compression tights can help with circulation issues. Nursing mothers are likely to wear shirts, dresses, and bras designed to allow feeding access.
Eyeglasses straddle the line between accessories and medical devices. Though more than 4 billion people worldwide rely on corrective lenses, it is usually possible to choose frames of a shape, size, and color that reflects one’s personal style preferences.
People with sensitive skin and those who spend a lot of time outside have an increasing range of options for sun protection. Long-sleeved swimsuits and UV protective workout clothes share shelf space with wide-brimmed hats, sunglasses, and sunblock creams.
Hobby Clothes
The clothes you wear for your hobbies are likely very different from those you’d wear to work or an evening out with friends. If those hobbies are active ones, you may choose clothing that makes it easier to enjoy those hobbies.
A gardener wears gloves and sturdy pants for protection rather than fashion. A skier’s suit provides insulation but still allows movement. Leotards, running shorts, rock-climbing gloves, line-dancing shoes, and sweat bands all allow the wearer to move in comfort while enjoying their hobbies.
Clothesthat Enhance
Wearing a dragon’s wings allows small children to take flight, as everyone knows.
And then there are clothes that allow the wearer to surpass their previous athletic or artistic performance. A ballet dancer wears pointe shoes not for the sake of fashion but because they redistribute weight and support her foot while balancing on the tips of her toes. Weight lifters wear friction gloves and intra-abdominal pressure belts, allowing them to lift heavier loads without injury. A marathon runner and a hurdler will choose very different shoes for competition, as shoe designs can provide athletes with different advantages.
Competitive swimmers faced controversy at the 2008 Olympics for wearing Speedo’s LZR Racer suits. These suits provided swimmers with extra buoyancy, reduced drag, and muscle compression. Ultimately, competitive swimming advisory boards banned these suits, claiming they were the equivalent of “technological doping” for athletes.
Artistic Performance
Belly dancers typically perform in costumes that accent their hips.
Performance clothes often mix fashion with functionality, chosen not just for the way they look but for how they enhance the wearer’s movements. A Chinese long-sleeve dancer wears a costume with sleeves extended far past her fingertips to highlight the graceful movements of her hands and arms. Tap dancers and Irish dancers might choose sparkly socks and shoe buckles to draw attention to their fancy footwork. A harpist or flautist might wear sleeves that flutter attractively when they play their instrument.
When Clothes Get Truly Personal
Overall, despite external expectations, clothes can still be a form of self-expression.
Style Choices
Whether you opt for a bohemian maxi dress, a tailored suit, or a vintage band t-shirt, your clothing sends a message about who you are and what you stand for. According to the fashion industry, there are several basic style choices in American clothing, including the following.
Classic/ Traditional
Gabrielle Union
If you would describe your style as classic or traditional, you choose plain fabrics, or maybe a discreet pinstripe at most. You like clean and crisp fabrics that have some structure. You are drawn to timeless fashion, preferring to invest in quality fabrics and timeless styles rather than jumping on trends. A person with a classic style typically has a rather formal wardrobe and always look polished and put together. Matching and co-ordinated looks are your preference over those that incorporate bold colors and prints. Your jewelry and accessory choices are not overbearing; they compliment your outfits without being the focal point.
Natural/ Relaxed
Tilda Swinton
Feeling comfortable in your clothes is most important to you, and your easygoing nature tends towards more casual outfits. Simple lines and designs are your preferred choices over anything too detailed or fussy. In keeping with this carefree attitude, you tend to buy easy care, wash and wear garments. You prefer fabrics such as denim, cotton jersey, and lightweight knits. Your jewelry choices reflect your minimal look, and you tend to wear basic and durable accessories. Your footwear also is chosen for comfort. You are not a pattern lover, but choose a stripe or check and sometimes a tweed. You like some texture and also are attracted to the colors of nature. Lots of denim, khaki, and button-front styling.
Gamine—a smaller/shorter version of sporty/natural. The gamin woman looks great in pixie hairstyles and sporty/natural clothing styles.
Dramatic/ Edgy
Lupita Nyong’o
If you have a dramatic streak, you will like brighter colors, big bold patterns, or high contrast patterns, perhaps fabrics with shine or a more structural appearance. You may also like animal prints, large and spectacular accessories. Wearing the latest fashion takes precedence over comfort, and you are willing to give most new trends a go. This means your wardrobe consists of many different styles and one-off pieces ready to make a statement. Your look is striking and well-thought-out. Details such a lip color and eye-catching shoes provide the finishing touch to your look. Jewelry and accessories in shiny metal finishes or bold one-of-a-kind wearable art pieces compliment your statement-making looks.
Artistic/ Creative
Josephine Baker
If you have a creative personality you may like patterns that are more about ‘wearable art’, abstract prints, or mixtures of prints and patterns all in one garment. Your way of dressing is innovative and individualistic, and you aren’t overly influenced by current trends or traditional rules. You use your clothing choices to reflect your personality and put together unique and interesting outfits with items purchased from varied sources. Different colors, textures, and prints fill your wardrobe, and your jewelry collection is bold while your footwear and accessories are usually statement-making.
Romantic/ Feminine
Zoe Saldaña
Women with this style prefer floral prints, or nature inspired ones (such as butterflies, or plants). If your style leans toward the feminine and romantic, you will choose soft, floaty fabrics that drape over your body. You may like sequins and beading detail on clothes. You have a soft appearance and generally prefer flowing silhouettes and muted colors. Your clothing choices are pretty, and include details such as bows, ruffles, pleats, and lace. Even with simpler styles, you will most likely choose them in pastel colors or with decorative details. Your footwear and accessory choices are delicate and minimal with fine necklaces and ballet flats among your staples.
If you think of yourself as Romantic, you like dressing with lots of fullness and softness. You choose large plaids, large printed designs on fabrics, and large details (Women like large ruffles, lace and bows; men like baggy pants and full cut shirts & sweaters).
“Timeline of Spring Fashions” by a-little-bit-lexical
Your style is much more than clothes or accessories. It includes all the little things that you do to make yourself look and feel good, from hair style and makeup to nail care and grooming.
Bottom Line: Be aware of what you wear. Within situational contexts such as those discussed above, clothes can reflect your personality AND how you want to be perceived. They may reflect social status, current activity, as well as your current mood or mindset.
A friend recently told me that the horror villains we fear are subconscious stand-ins for things we’re afraid of in real life. Vampires stand for a fear of change; zombies for a fear of crowds or strangers.
Fear of clowns is a sign you’re a normal, well-adjusted, perfectly rational person.
Inquiring minds want to know! I started with vampires—and I never got past vampires!
When I went online to learn what it means if we fear vampires, what popped up was an article by Ralph Blumenthal, “A Fear of Vampires Can Mask a Fear of Something Much Worse.” He was writing in 2002 about villagers in Malawi believing that the government was colluding with vampires to collect human blood in exchange for food.
At the time, Malawi was in the grip of starvation, a severe AIDS epidemic, and political upheaval. He cited Nina Auerbach, author of Our Vampires, Ourselves, to the effect that stories of the undead embody power ”and our fears of power.”
In nearly every culture in the world, there is a legend of some variation of vampire-like creatures—the dead who reanimate and come back to feed on the living. And there is general agreement that the roots of vampire legends are in the misunderstanding of how bodies decompose and of how certain diseases spread.
In an October 26, 2016 article in National Geographic titled “The Bloody Truth About Vampires,” Becky Little wrote, “As a corpse’s skin shrinks, its teeth and fingernails can appear to have grown longer. And as internal organs break down, a dark ‘purge fluid’ can leak out of the nose and mouth. People unfamiliar with this process would interpret this fluid to be blood and suspect that the corpse had been drinking it from the living.”
Paul Barber, author of Vampires, Burial, and Death: Folklore and Reality, made several telling points in the introduction to his book. One is that there is little similarity between the vampires of folklore and the vampires of fiction.
The Modern Vampire
Modern images of vampires are pretty stereotyped: fangs that bite the necks of victims; drinking human blood; can’t see themselves in mirrors; can be warded off with garlic, killed with a stake (or silver nail) through the heart; are aristocrats who live in castles and may be sexy. This image was popularized by Bela Lugosi’s portrayal of Count Dracula in the 1931 film adaptation of the Broadway show of the same name. Unlike Bram Stoker’s description of the monster in the 1897 novel Dracula as a repulsive old man with huge eyebrows and bat-like ears, Lugosi showed audiences a mysteriously elegant gentleman in evening dress.
The 1922 film Nosferatu (on left), though an unlicensed adaptation, portrayed the vampire as described in Stoker’s novel.
Polish strzyga
In European folklore, vampires typically wore shrouds, and were often described as bloated, with a ruddy or dark countenance. Specific descriptions varied among regions: sometimes male, sometimes female, might have long fingernails, a stubby beard, the mouth and left eye open, a permanently hateful stare, red eyes, no eyes, etc. Fangs were not always a prominent feature, and blood was generally sucked from bites on the chest near the heart rather than the throat.
But perhaps the most important theme of Barber’s book is that, lacking a scientific background in physiology, pathology, or immunization, the common response of ancient societies was to blame death and disease on the dead. To that end, the interpretations they came up with—while wrong from today’s perspective—nevertheless were usually coherent, covered all the data, and provided the rationale for some common practices that seemed to be otherwise inexplicable.
He’s the color of a rotting corpse, but cloth fangs are pretty harmless.
Should you ever be pursued by a vampire, fling a handful of rice, millet, or other small grain in its path. The vampire will be compelled to stop to count every grain, giving you time to escape. I found no information on how vampires came to be associated with arithmomania, but it endures: remember The Count von Count on Sesame Street?
At this point, I realize that getting into methods of identifying vampires, protecting against vampires, ways to destroy vampires, and cross-cultural variations on vampirism is way beyond the scope of this blog. Instead, I refer you to books such as this:
The yara-ma-yha-who in Australia drains a victim of almost all blood before swallowing and regurgitating the body, which then becomes a copy of its killer.
Seeing a vampire in your dream symbolizes an aspect of your personality that is parasitic or selfishly feeds off others.
Alternatively, a vampire may reflect feelings about people you believe want to pull you down to their level or convert you to thinking negatively in a way similar to theirs.
To dream of being a vampire represents a selfish need to feed off others.
To dream of being bitten by a vampire represents feelings about other people using you or feeding off you and being unable to stop it.
Vampires may be a sign of dependence, problems with addiction, social pressure, or ambivalence.
A dream vampire might be telling you that you need to start being more independent and relying less on others’ resources or accomplishments.
To dream of killing vampires represents overcoming dependence on others.
Repeated dreams of vampires hovering over your shoulder and correcting your spelling or suggesting topics for research and expansion is almost certainly a sign that you are writing a blog entry about vampires.
Bottom line for writers:consider whether a vampire is a fit metaphor for your character.
The soucouyant appears in the Caribbean by day as a harmless old woman, but she sheds her skin at night to hunt as a ball of fire.
What is insulting varies from person to person. One person’s joke is another person’s wound. And insults vary by subculture. What I’ve collected here are words and phrases from across the web that at least some people consider insulting. I’ve not included insults that seem to be tied to specific subgroups, such as shiksa. There are too many of them and this is just an (extensive) sample. I’m neither condoning nor condemning the use of any of these!
Insults to One’s Intellect or Cognitive Skills
“I’ll explain, and I’ll use small words, so you’ll be sure to understand.” ~Wesley, The Princess Bride (1987)
Dumb as a rock/post/bag of turnips/hammers
Addleheaded
Airhead
Bubblehead
I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain it to you.
Biscuit not done in the middle.
One card short of a full deck
Not playing with a full deck
Not the brightest bulb in the pack.
The communication skills of an alarm clock.
Bad luck when it comes to thinking.
The same sense of direction as Christopher Columbus.
If you had another half a brain you’d be a halfwit.
Sharp as a [rubber] ball.
Stupidity is not a crime. [You’re] free to go.
“To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people. I’ve known sheep that could outwit you. I’ve worn dresses with higher IQs. But you think you’re an intellectual, don’t you, ape?” ~Wanda, A Fish Called Wanda (1988)
“If your brains were dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.” ~Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
Congratulations on being the top of the bell curve.
You are the human equivalent of a participation trophy.
Suffering from delusions of adequacy.
The attention span of an ice cream in July.
A battle of wits with someone who is unarmed.
It appears that your brain cells are not holding hands right now.
I smell something burning. Are you trying to think again?
Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
You changed your mind? Here’s hoping this one works better.
It’s great that you don’t let education get in the way of your ignorance.
No need to fear success. You have nothing to worry about.
If [you] ever had a thought, it would die of loneliness.
You’d struggle to pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
Who’s using the family brain cell at the moment?
Insults to One’s Character/Personality
“Why, you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf herder.” ~Leia Organa, The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
I forgot the world revolves around you. My bad!
Nose so high in the air s/he sniffs clouds
If her/his lips are moving, s/he is lying.
A sharp tongue doesn’t indicate a keen mind.
I’d give you a nasty look, but you already have one.
f you were a spice, you’d be flour.
Useful as a lighthouse in a desert.
Useless as the “ueue” in “queue.”
Useful as a soup sandwich.
Just like a Russian doll—full of yourself.
Your face is just fine. It’s your personality that’s the issue.
Whatever is eating you must be suffering terribly.
All the tact of a bowling ball.
Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
It’s impossible to underestimate you.
You have the rest of your life to be a knucklehead. You can take today off.
“If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, then they can sure make something out of you.” ~Muhammad Ali
You are proof that the universe has a sense of humor.
S/he has no off switch.
You should use glue instead of chapstick.
Is there an intermission to this drama?
Deep as a puddle in a parking lot.
A slightly tilted picture frame.
You really should come with a warning label.
A personality that’s a vibrant shade of beige.
As useful/helpful/necessary as a screen door on a submarine.
Such a conversation starter. It gets underway as soon as you leave.
Two-faced.
Crooked as a corkscrew.
So crooked he had to be screwed into his grave.
Charismatic as a wet sock.
Someone who takes more than 15 items through the express lane.
Your ambition outweighs your skills.
“You’re somewhere between a cockroach and that white stuff that accumulates at the corner of your mouth when you’re really thirsty.” ~Nic Cage, Con Air (1997)
Insults to One’s Person
“I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an exception!” ~Groucho Marx
Looks like the south side of a horse heading north.
A nose that could chop wood.
If you were fruit you’d be a perfect pear/apple.
Not the ugliest wo/man in the world—unless the other one has died
I’ve seen salads dressed better than you.
You have a face for radio.
If my dog was as ugly as you are, I’d shave his butt and walk him backward.
Can I have the name of your hair cutter? I need to know where not to go.
Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.
Two left feet.
Sweet as rhubarb.
Walleyed.
Face so ugly s/he should walk backward.
Nobody could be as dumb as you look.
My life may be a joke, but it’s not as funny as your outfit.
Wishing Someone Ill
May your life be as unpleasant as you are.
May you live in interesting times.
May your cheek always find the hot side of the pillow and the heel of your left sock always slip down inside your shoe.
Wishing you all the happiness you deserve—and not one ounce more.
May the chocolate chips in your cookies always turn out to be raisins.
May you have a sparsely attended funeral.
Insulting to Men
“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork!” ~Mae West
Bastard
Son-of-a-bitch
Thinks with his little head
You’re not one of the boys and you never will be
Angry white male
Mother f***er
Beta male
You’re just like your father
If you walked into a wall with an erection your nose would hit the wall first.
Bubba
Cock (slang)
Company man
Buffoon
Cuckold
“Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!” ~French knights, Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
“Perhaps I am rather drunk to-night, but I shall be sober to-morrow morning; but you’re a damned fool tonight, and you’ll be a damned fool to-morrow morning.” ~unnamed Parliamentarian, quoted by Augustus Hare
Fop
Your quiche is terrible!
Himbo
Dick
Incel
Master of the unsuccessful comb-over
Lothario
Lounge lizard
You are such a nice guy.
MAMIL (middle-aged man in lycra)
Manlet
Couldn’t get off a rabbit with that little dick.
Could wear a women’s bikini bottom, and nobody would look twice.
No sports car in the world could compensate for that tiny dick.
Need a magnifying glass to see his dick.
Does something that small really work?
Are you a pedophile? After all, you have a child size penis.
Looks like a eunuch.
“You are a sad strange little man, and you have my pity.” ~Buzz Lightyear, Toy Story (1995)
Do tiny dicks run in the family?
Leads with his zipper.
He has cotton balls
Mansplaining
Pantywaist
Manspreading
Manterrupting
Motherfucker
Bell end
Prick (slang)
Reply guy
White knight
I am searching for the bones of your father but cannot distinguish them from those of a slave. (said by Diogenes to Alexander the Great)
Insulting to Women
“The woman speaks eight languages and can’t say ‘no’ in any of them.” ~Dorothy Parker
Easy piece
Battle-axe (woman)
Bimbo
Cat lady
Cougar (slang)
Crone
Cunt (in some cultures, such as Australia, this is a common greeting among friends, rather than an insult)
Dyke (slang)
Fag hag
Female hysteria
Floozie
Gold digger
“You wanna see a bad facelift? Helen Danvers, two o’clock. She looks like she’s re-entering the Earth’s atmosphere.” ~Catherine Frazier, The Women (1939)
MRS degree
Bitch
Castrating bitch
Nasty woman
Nowhere girls
Puck bunny
Queen bee (sociology)
Radical chic
Shrew (stock character)
Slut
Cock teaser
Spinster
Suzy Homemaker
Termagant
“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” ~Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Périgord
Trollop
Trophy wife
Twat
Virago
WAGs
Whore
Hoe
(Chest) flat as a pancake
Thunder thighs
Hag
Harpy
Lesbian until graduation
Moll
Generalized Insults
“If you won’t be a good example, then you’ll have to be a horrible warning.” ~Empress Catherine II of Russia
You are why the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
You’re a nonessential vitamin.
I have 90 billion nerves, and you’re on every single one of them.
I may not be perfect, but at least I am not you.
Yes, sometimes you’re an idiot. But don’t be sorry for who you are!
I like you. People say I have no taste, but I like you.
I don’t know where you were before we met, but I wish you were still there.
I’ll never forget the first time we met. But I’ll keep trying.
We were happily married for a month. Too bad it was our 10-year anniversary.
I admire the way you try so hard.
You’re entitled to your incorrect opinion.
You should have tried doing it the way I told you to in the the first place.
Well, at least you’re good-looking.
What the devil kind of knight are you, that can’t slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? (said by the Zaporozhian Cossacks to Sultan Mehmed IV)
“That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?” ~William Shakespeare, (Henry IV Part 1 [Act 2, Scene 4])
Cockalorum– a boastful and self-important person; a strutting little fellow
Snollygoster– an unprincipled but shrewd person
Pillock– a very stupid or foolish person
Lickspittle– a fawning subordinate; a suck-up
Smellfungus– an excessively faultfinding person
Ninnyhammer– ninny; simpleton, fool
Mumpsimus– a stubborn person who insists on making an error in spite of being shown that it is wrong
Milksop– an unmanly man; a mollycoddle (a pampered or effeminate boy or man)
Hobbledehoy– an awkward, gawky young man
Pettifogger– shyster; a lawyer whose methods are underhanded or disreputable
Mooncalf– a foolish or absentminded person
Saltimbanco– a mountebank; a person who sells quack medicines from a platform
Smell-feast– one given to finding out and getting invited to good feasts
Bottom Line: Tempting as it might be to fling insults around, consider the possible—probable?— escalation. Relationships might suffer irreparable damage.
“I’d like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is.” ~National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)
And if you are a true traditionalist, you will be carving turnips rather than pumpkins for your jack o’lanterns!
Legendary Jack of the Lantern
Jack o’lanterns originated in the fens (marshes) of rural Ireland. In the early 1600’s, the legend began of Stingy Jack (aka, Jack the Smith, Drunk Jack, Flakey Jack, and other names, used interchangeably).
The most popular version of the tale involves Jack first tricking the Devil into changing into a coin, then trapping him in his transfigured state. Some longer versions of the story have Jack tricking the Devil three or four different times. Eventually, Jack offered the Devil out of the deal in exchange for not taking his soul for ten years.
Jack died before ten years had passed. The angels didn’t allow him into heaven because he was such a dishonest trickster. The Devil kept his promise not to take Jack’s soul, so he couldn’t go to hell, either. Instead, the Devil tossed Jack a lump of burning coal from hell so he could have a bit of light. Jack carved out a turnip and stuck the coal inside, creating a lantern. Hence, “Jack of the Lantern,” has roamed the Earth with it ever since.
Jack O’Lanterns at Samhain
Traditional Cornish Jack O’Lantern
Many people in Ireland and Great Britain also continued the Gaelic celebration of Samhain, including a ritual of going from house to house in search of food and drink. (Thus the origins of Trick or Treating). Many carved turnips, potatoes, and other root vegetables, adding coals or candles to create makeshift lanterns to light their way. Occasionally, people carved these with faces.
Those who made the lanterns with faces said they represent spirits or supernatural beings. Sometimes, they used jack o’lanterns to ward off evil spirits they might encounter while walking at night. Alternately, Halloween celebrants used them to frighten people.
Traditionally, the veil between the living and the dead was thinnest at Samhain, leaving people in danger of supernatural threat. Celebrants sometimes set jack o’lanterns on windowsills to keep harmful spirits out of the house.
Carving Jack O’Lanterns
A jack-o-lantern (or jack o’lantern) is any carved lantern, most commonly made from a pumpkin today. But instructions for carving less common jack o’lanterns are widely available online. Alternatives, other than turnips, include:
Melons
Red beets
Rutabagas
Eggplant
Potatoes
Sweet potatoes
Butternut squash
Acorn squash
Zucchini
Bell pepper
Grapefruit
Grapes
Apples (which can be dried, making shrunken heads)
On the last Thursday of October, children in South Somerset, England celebrate Punkie Night. They carve mangelwurzel roots into the shape of a lantern. In the words of one who has tried this, “It’s like trying to hollow out a block of wood with a spoon.” Children then dress in costumes and knock on neighbors’ doors to ask for a candle for their “punkie” — and threaten tricks if neighbors don’t comply!
According to legend, this tradition began in the 19th century when a group of [probably inebriated] men returning from a nearby village got lost in the foggy night. Their wives went out searching for their missing menfolk, carrying carved mangelwurzel lanterns to light the way. However, the men thought the approaching lights were the souls of unbaptized children and ran away, forever lost in the fog.
Jack O’Lanterns in America
European immigrants to America found a handy New World crop to celebrate Halloween, much larger and easier to carve than the root vegetables of home: winter squash, the most famous of which is a pumpkin.
If you prefer using pumpkins for your jack o’lanterns, consider a white one. New Moon Hybrid is perfectly uniform, 35-45 pounds, alpine white. Alternatively, grown for appearance and carve-ability rather than flavor, the Albino White Casper produces 12-15 pound pumpkins.
Bottom Line: Virtually any fruit or vegetable can be a jack o’lantern, especially if you allow painting as well as carving (although carving is necessary for a lighted lantern).
