UBIQUITOUS BLOOD

Blood is so important that it has escaped the confines of the body and pops up everywhere, in symbolism, metaphors, and superstitions.

Fallacies About Blood

In many ancient cultures, where blood was seen as the essence of life—sacrificing blood (animal or human)—was believed to sustain the gods, the land, or the community. In ancient paganism, such sacrifices were offered to gods like Moloch, Aztec deities, or the Greek Fates to ensure fertility, harvests, or protection.

It was once believed that blood was the same as life, and as such, drinking blood was the equivalent of a transfusion today.

In other cultures, the heart was thought to be the blood-fountain and the core of personality, so this drinking of blood was regarded as soul transference.

Ma’at weighing the heart of the deceased against the Feather of Truth, determining a soul’s guilt or innocence in the Egyptian Book of the Dead

Cannibalism, as a tribal rite, was based on a similar belief, that the blood of another was his life and soul. The practice of drinking the blood of the bravest foes was to acquire their courage, cunning, and other distinctive traits.

Royalty and the super rich literally had blue blood. This was based on the fact that those who did not labor in the sun, and therefore weren’t tan, had veins that showed more prominently blue. (Indeed, some creatures have blue blood—e.g., horseshoe crabs—but humans aren’t among them.) Historically, Royal Blood meant that royalty were of divine or pure lineage, untouched by commoners. Bloodlines determined inheritance, legitimacy, and power.

Transfusion bag

People of different races have different blood, and transfusions across ethnic groups are dangerous if not deadly.

In Japan, many people use blood type as a personality predictor, similar to how some Americans ascribe to star signs or Vietnamese believe in a birth year cycle.

A baby gets blood from the mother. In fact, the fetus creates its own blood entirely, in utero.

Bloodletting

Bloodletting in the 1860s

As far back as the Ancient Egyptians, doctors have attempted to treat patients by adjusting fluids inside the body. In particular, medical theories held that sweating and bloodletting were effective treatments for everything from headaches to gout. Hippocrates believed menstruation was a spontaneous form of bloodletting. Talmudic, Ayurvedic, Chinese, and Islamic medical texts all contain detailed instructions of the practice.

Galen created very specific charts of the best locations to cut or place leeches to achieve specific health benefits, encouraging patients to take their “cure” into their own hands! Cutting the vein in the right hand might cure liver problems, while cutting the vein in the left hand could cure spleen trouble.

Diagram of where to bleed for specific health concerns

He also believed that the heart created blood and sent it to the organs and extremities, where it was used up. Having too much would cause it to stagnate, leading to illness. For centuries, doctors throughout Europe and the Middle East thought it purged toxins, balanced bodily chemistry, and boosted immunity.

Bloodletting remained a common medical practice through the 19th Century. Textbooks from 1923 still recommended treating patients with strategic bleeding.

It still shows up in our language. “Bloodletting” is now a euphemism for simmering tensions in a community erupting into violence.

Bloody Language

A subject so entwined with human history and sensibilities is bound to show up in our language.

Blood in Metaphors

Blood feud: People of one bloodline/clan are born enemies of another.

In cold blood: To do something cruel or violent deliberately and without emotion.

Hematohidrosis, a rare medical condition, causes a patient to sweat actual blood.

Blood, sweat, and tears: A lot of effort and hard work, often involving suffering.

Blood runs cold: To feel a sudden shock or horror.

Flesh and blood: Someone’s family or relatives; also used to describe human limitations or weaknesses.

Blood boils: To become extremely angry.

Bad blood: Strong feelings of hatred or anger between people.

New blood: New people joining a group or organization, bringing fresh ideas.

Roman gladiators from a Third Century mosaic

Blood sport: A sport involving the hunting or killing of animals, or a violent competition.

Blood money: Money earned through dishonest or violent means; also refers to money paid to a killer as compensation for a murder.

Bloodcurdling: Extremely frightening or shocking.

Blood brother: A very close friend; historically, mingling a few drops of blood from two people in a cup of wine and both drinking it sealed the bond. More recently, two people nick their thumbs or wrist veins and press them together to seal the bond. (“Brothers” could also be women, though this was much less common.)

Lady Macbeth by Gabriel von Max

Blood on one’s hands (e.g., Lady Macbeth’s famous line, “Out, damned spot!”) symbolizes moral stain or unresolved guilt.

Bloodstained: Covered or marked with blood, often implying violence or guilt.

In one’s blood: innate, as of a skill or quality. The same as “XXX runs in the family.”

Blood is thicker than water: Family relationships are stronger than other relationships.

In some initiation rites (e.g., fraternities, secret societies, or rites of passage), blood may symbolize commitment, loyalty, or rebirth into a new social or spiritual state.

Bloody Proverbs

  • Blood is inherited and virtue is acquired.
  • None so keen at the hunting of wolves as the dog with wolf blood.
  • Who grudges his blood to a blade had better earn his living behind the plow.
  • You cannot get blood from a stone/turnip
  • Good blood will never lie.
  • Men’s skins have many colors, but human blood is always red.
  • Like blood, like means, and like age, make the happiest marriage.
  • Marrying in the blood is never good.
  • Noble and common blood is of the same color.
  • If blood is spilt on you before breakfast, you will shed blood before nightfall.

The human body contains about 5 liters (1.3 gallons) of blood, which circulates through the body 3 times every minute on average! It transports oxygen, nutrients, and hormones, fights infections, regulates body temperature, and removes waste products.

Bottom Line: Blood is so important that it’s everywhere!

KIDS SAY THE DARNEDEST THINGS!

Art Linkletter’s Kids Say the Darndest Things!

1. Don’t change horses———until they stop running.

People of a certain age will remember this week’s title from a feature segment on Art Linkletter’s radio and television program, House Party. Linkletter hosted the segment on the program’s CBS adaptation from 1959 to 1967. Sometimes amazing, sometimes outrageous, often surprising, always humorous.

It’s in that spirit that I offer this week’s blog. I thank Mariann Fitzpatrick for sharing this years ago. I have no idea where she got it. But it purports to be from a first-grade school teacher. She presented each of the 26 kids in her class with the first part of a well-known proverb and asked them to finish it. Here are the other 25.

Strike while———the bug is close.

It’s always darkest before————Daylight Savings Time.

Never underestimate the power of————termites.

You can lead a horse to water but————how?

Don’t bite the hand that————looks dirty.

No news is————impossible.

A miss is as good as————a Mr.

You can’t teach an old dog new————math.

If you lie down with dogs————you’ll stink in the morning.

Love all, trust————me.

The pen is mightier than the————pigs.

An idle mind is————the best way to relax.

Where there’s smoke, there’s————pollution.

Happy the bride who————gets all the presents.

A penny saved is————not much.

Two’s company, three’s————the Musketeers.

Don’t put off till tomorrow what————you put on to go to bed.

Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and————you have to blow your nose.

There’s none so blind as————Stevie Wonder.

Children should be seen and not————spanked or grounded.

If at first you don’t succeed————get new batteries.

You get out of something only what you————see in the picture on the box.

When the blind lead the blind————get out of the way.

A bird in the hand is————going to poop on you.

Better late than————pregnant.

Bottom Line: You may find it difficult to believe that these actually came from 6-year-olds. Nevertheless, enjoy the insights and the humor.

ISMS: THEY’RE EVERYWHERE

We’re all aware, at some level, of racism and sexism. Everyone lucky enough to live to be old will probably become aware of ageism. Many fewer are attuned to ableism. The world wasn’t built for people with disabilities, and because of that, the world we live in is inherently “ableist.”

Ableism 101 by Ashley Eisenmenger

-Isms and Stereotyping

All -isms are based on stereotypes. Stereotyping is when, based on one characteristic, we assume a whole constellation of characteristics, traits, abilities, or behaviors. While it can sometimes feel like a mental shortcut to quickly understand the world, it often leads to inaccuracies, misunderstandings, and unfair judgments.

Effects of Stereotyping

THE American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) provides legal assistance for people seeking civil liberties protections.

Bias and Prejudice: Stereotypes can reinforce harmful biases, leading to discrimination or exclusion.
Overgeneralization: It ignoring individual differences.
Self-Fulfilling Prophecies: People may unconsciously act in ways that confirm a stereotype, perpetuating the cycle.
Loss of Individuality: It reduces people to a single label, ignoring their unique identities, experiences, and complexities.

Common Areas Where Stereotyping Occurs

The Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) is a legal advocacy organization promoting civil rights in the US.

Gender: Assuming women are “naturally” better at caregiving or men are “naturally” better at leadership.
Race/Ethnicity: Linking certain behaviors or traits to an entire racial or ethnic group.
Professions: Believing all engineers are socially awkward or all artists are “starving.”
Age: Assuming older adults are “out of touch” or teenagers are “irresponsible.”
Cultures: Assuming everyone from a specific country behaves the same way.

Ableism

Returning to focus on ableism, consider the following examples from the source cited above:

Presenting a disability as either tragic or inspirational in news stories, movies, and other popular forms of media

Choosing an inaccessible venue for a meeting or event, thus excluding some participants

Using someone else’s mobility device as a hand or foot rest

Casting a non-disabled actor to play a disabled character in a play, movie, TV show, or commercial

Making a movie that doesn’t have audio description or closed captioning

Using the accessible bathroom stall when you are able to use the non-accessible stall without pain or risk of injury

Wearing scented products in a scent-free environment

Talking to a person with a disability like they are a child, talking about them instead of directly to them, or speaking for them

Asking invasive questions about the medical history or personal life of someone with a disability

Assuming people have to have a visible disability to actually be disabled

Questioning if someone is ‘actually’ disabled, or ‘how much’ they are disabled

Asking, “How did you become disabled?”

All -Isms are Based on Stereotyping

—Isms take many blatant forms. Depending on the specific —ism, these can include:

The Human Rights Campaign is the largest LGBTQ advocacy group in the US, lobbying for protecting and expanding rights.
  • Lack of compliance with laws like the ADA, non discrimination in housing, etc.
  • Segregating students into separate schools or classes
  • Not questioning existing discriminatory standards in medicine, banking, policing, etc.
  • The use of restraint or seclusion as a means of controlling students with disabilities
  • Institutionalizing adults and children with disabilities
  • Failing to incorporate accessibility into building design plans. This applies to disabilities but also such things as gender-neutral bathrooms.
  • Buildings without braille on signs, elevator buttons, etc.
  • Selectively enforcing dress codes
  • Restricting workplace benefits, such as family leave or health insurance, to opposite-sex couples
  • Creating inaccessible websites
  • Entrenching existing prejudices into computer algorithms and coding
  • The assumption that people with disabilities want or need to be ‘fixed’
  • Requiring hairstyles that are difficult or impossible to maintain with certain hair textures
  • Using disability as a punchline, or mocking people with disabilities
  • Conducting research without consideration of differences based on gender, race, abilities, etc. This is especially important in medical research and the creation of public policy.
  • The lynchings of Blacks in earlier decades and eugenics movement of the early 1900s
  • Disproportionate number of guilty verdicts and harsher sentences based on race or ethnicity.
  • The mass murder of disabled people in Nazi Germany
  • Hiring preferences based on the assumption that women will become pregnant and leave the workforce
  • Wage gaps based on sex, race, ethnicity
“Die-Ins” during Black Lives Matter protests drew attention to racialized police violence in the US.

Micro-Aggressions and “Isms”

Micro-aggressions are everyday verbal or behavioral expressions that communicate a negative slight or insult in relation to someone’s gender identity, race, sex, disability, etc. It seems to me that non-conscious put downs of -isms are more common—and more socially acceptable—than others these days.

  • “That’s so lame.”
  • Dumb blonde jokes.
  • “That’s so retarded.”
  • “That guy is crazy.”
  • “You’re so brave to wear that!”
  • “You’re acting so bi-polar today.”
  • Schools defaulting to communicate with a female parent, regardless of a family’s arrangements.
  • “Should you really be eating that?”
  • “Must be that time of the month.”
  • “You’re so gay.”
  • “Are you off your meds?”
  • “It’s like the blind leading the blind.”
  • “It’s fine to be gay, but why do they have to shove it in my face?”
  • “My ideas fell on deaf ears.”
  • Putting hands on someone to guide them to where you want them.
  • “You throw like a girl.”
  • “You look great for your age!”
  • “But which one of you is the woman?”
  • “That’s so psycho.”
  • “I’m super OCD about how I clean my apartment.”
  • Offering to help old people. Sometimes this is appreciated, putting a bag in the overhead bin, for example. But often it comes across as assuming incompetence.
  • “You’re so well-spoken!”
  • “A real man would…”
  • “I’ll pray for you?”
  • Addressing an elderly person as young man or young lady.
  • “Of course he’s paid more; he has a family to support!”
  • “I don’t even think of you as disabled/black/a woman.”
  • “I’m not saying she deserved it, but did you see what she was wearing?”
  • “I love old people; they’re so adorable!”
  • “This sort of thing comes naturally to your people, right?”
  • “Big boys don’t cry.”
  • Touching someone’s hair.
  • “You’re such a spaz.”
  • Witnessing or overhearing any of the above without speaking up.

How to Avoid Stereotyping

The Stonewall Riots kicked off the gay liberation movement in the US, eventually leading to major legal protections and growing social acceptance of LGBTQ+ people.

Challenge Assumptions: Ask yourself why you hold a particular belief about a group.
Seek Diverse Perspectives: Engage with people from different backgrounds to broaden your understanding.
Focus on Individuality: Recognize that everyone is unique and shouldn’t be reduced to a stereotype.
Educate Yourself: Learn about the lived experiences of others rather than relying on stereotypes.
Practice Empathy: Put yourself in someone else’s shoes to understand their perspective.

Bottom Line: -Isms and stereotyping can harm mental health, self-esteem, and social cohesion. Stereotyping can often leads to systemic -isms like racism, sexism, ageism, and other forms of discrimination. Breaking free from stereotypes is essential for creating a fairer, more inclusive world.

Short Story: THE DARWINIAN CO-OP LENDING LIBRARY

This week, instead of a topical blog, I’m posting a short story. Enjoy!

THE DARWINIAN CO-OP LENDING LIBRARY*

by
Vivian Lawry

We have all these people waiting in line, see, because we always have long lines for the holidays, and I had to tell this woman all the turkey basters are out. So she just goes off on me—like, “What kind of a lending library is this? First you don’t have a meat grinder and now no turkey baster?”

I’m, like, “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you have to request meat grinders through inter-library loan.”

And then she goes, “That’s no excuse for the turkey baster!”

I’m like, “It’s five o’clock on Christmas Eve, ma’am. All the turkey basters are out.”

And she goes, “I’ve belonged to the Friends of the Library for thirty years, and this is the treatment I get? Who do you think donated the Santa suit, Bozo, the scuba-diving equipment—not to mention red sheets and heart pillows for roll-away beds. Just see if I donate anything else!”

Everyone behind her shifts from foot to foot and rolls their eyes, trying to balance punch bowls and tinsel and stuff. But co-ops run on donations. The head librarian invites her to have a cup of tea, says she could check out a nice lemon zester, or a fish poacher. I think the old days I’ve heard about, when people borrowed books and seldom came in around the holidays, weren’t so bad. But once we started lending tapes and CDs and children’s puzzles, there was no turning back.

The next person in line’s a repeater. This’s his third year checking out a puppy on Christmas Eve. He’ll renew for a second two weeks, until his kids shirk their puppy chores. Word’s out about our pet collection—we do a brisk business in rabbits and chicks for Easter—but puppies are tops. So I hand over the collie mix, yap-yap-yapping and wiggling his butt. The man says, “Do you have a goldendoodle? The kids would like a goldendoodle this year.”

I’m like, “This is our last puppy.”

He eyes the wriggling furball and goes, “How about tropical fish? Or a bear cub? Hey, I’ve got it. A de-scented skunk. That would be really festive.”

So finally I’m like, “We’ve had a run on pets. It’s either this puppy or a cat, your choice.” He reaches for the puppy. No one ever checks out a cat.

We expected the run on pets. But the really hot item—totally took us by surprise—has been kids—preschoolers, mostly, old enough not to wet the bed and young enough to be cute, suitable for photos and not too picky about presents. The parents who donate them mostly head someplace warm, and require a two-week-minimum loan. I turn to the couple picking up twins, and slide the informed consent form across the counter. The little girl says, “We get Cocoa Puffs for breakfast and Coke before we go to bed.” The boy kicks the man in the shins.

I’m like, “Read the parts about allergies and bedtime snacks carefully before you sign them out.”

Then this woman rushes in, navy banker suit and pearls, and budges in front of the line. I think there’ll be a blow-up. But everyone just stands there while she goes, “I need a family.”

I’m like, “You need to wait your turn.”

She goes, “I don’t have time to wait. My parents called from the airport—‘Surprise, we’re here for Christmas with you and Joe and the kids.’ I never thought this would happen, never in a million years.” She leans closer and lowers her voice. “Look, years ago I told them I eloped, to keep them off my back. Then they wanted grandkids, so I made some up. But now they’re here, and I’ve got to have a family for Christmas!” Someone behind her snickers. She blushes. “Surely you have one. I only need one.”

I go, “You are so in luck. We have a father with three kids left.”

She looks startled when they come out. Then she laughs, tucks a blond curl behind her ear, and goes, “Perfect! I don’t even have to make up a reason for keeping them apart, for not sending pictures.” She laughs again and leaves, arm in arm with the tall black father, the three kids trailing like ducklings.

Someone says, “What kind of woman would lend her husband and kids over Christmas?”

And I’m like, “Lots of Jewish families are okay with it. And single-parent families. And sometimes psychotherapists. Therapists are really pressed for time around the holidays.”

The next woman leans in and goes, “I reserved the Chinese grandparents.” As if I’d asked, she goes, “My children need exposure to Mandarin before we visit the homeland—and to the whole female subservience thing.”

So I’m like, “Whatever.” I run her card, hand her the due date slip. “Remember, back by Boxing Day or you incur huge fines. Merry Christmas.”

A teenage girl edges up to the counter, eyes skittering sideways, and whispers, “I don’t really need to check out a whole person. I just need—you know—parts.”

I stifle a laugh. I’m like, “What exactly do you need?”

She glances at her flat chest and goes, “I need a couple of pounds of body fat—just till after New Year’s.”

I print her due date slip. IMHO, body parts are going to be our next high-demand items.

I glance at the clock. Nearly six. A short man in a black coat and homburg steps forward and goes, “Do you honor cards from other libraries?”

I’m like, “We have reciprocal agreements with all the regional libraries.”

He goes, “Great! I want a book—T’was the Night Before Christmas.”

I don’t know what to say, so I’m like, “Let me check with the head librarian.”

The head librarian goes, “I’m sure we have a copy somewhere. Let me check the antiquities index.” She heads off at a half trot, the man in the homburg hard on her heels.

The clock strikes six and I’m like, “Yes.” I leave her to it, check out my own two pounds of body fat and my escort for The Nutcracker, and head home for the holidays.

THE END

*This story was originally published (without pictures) in the Clackamas Literary Review, 2011, Vol. XV, 124-127.

APRIL BRINGS SHOWERS; MAY BRINGS…

Celebrations, holidays, and observances! Truly, no one could possibly honor all the special days in May.

Celebratory Days in May

First there are the dailies. Only 31 days in the month, yet there are 486 (!) daily holidays and observances. If you are reading this blog the day it is posted (May 12), 224 of these opportunities have already passed you by for 2026. You are probably aware of Cinco de Mayo and Mother’s Day, maybe even celebrated them. But (probably) missed opportunities include

Beltane Fire on Uisneach Hill in Ireland

Beltane (or Là Bealltainn or Boaltinn or Boaldyn)
Global Love Day
Tuba Day
World Beer Pong Day AND World Naked Gardening Day, both on May 2
Paranormal Day
National Orange Juice Day
National Silence the Shame Day
Great American Grump Out Day
World Asthma Day
National Deaf Interpreter Day
Make a Book Day (Thursday of National Family Reading Week)
World Donkey Day
Mother Ocean Day

And soooo many more. Of course, there’s always next year. It pays to plan ahead (perhaps plant something soft in anticipation of Naked Gardening Day 2027).

All isn’t lost, though. There are 10 opportunities to celebrate just today (May 12) including National Nutty Fudge Day and Limerick Day. My long-time favorite limerick was composed at St Lawrence University during a graduation ceremony—every year there was some faculty challenge during that event—by a member of the Physics Department, Peter Oesper.

Peter Oesper

Try your hand at a limerick and share?

Celebratory Weeks in May

Of curse weekly celebrations and observances abound in May—130, in fact. A couple of things to note about the weekly listings: 1) several of the earliest ones actually started in April; and 2) some are not a full week, just too long to be a daily.

Here are some examples of celebrations for people who don’t want to feel pushed by a one-day limit. Of course—for you, dear reader—some must await next year. These include the 27 weekly observances that are always the first full week in May. And among others

How could you not be kind to this smiling face?

Reading is Fun Week and National Children’s Book Week
Be Kind to Animals Week and National Pet Week
National Anxiety and Depression Awareness Week
National Children’s Mental Health Week
International Clitoris Awareness Week (which should be every week?)
National Wildflower Week
National Raisin Week
Root Canal Appreciation Week (Really? Really.)

But if you jump on it today, you can still celebrate worthy observances: National Nurses Week, and UN Road Safety Week through today; National Hug Holiday Week and World Cocktail Week today and tomorrow (May 13).

Paramedic students in a disaster drill on LIRR
Photo: Marc A. Hermann / MTA New York City Transit

Some might say the best is yet to come in May. You may find joy in one or more of the following in the days ahead:

The Biggest Week in American Birding (which is actually 9 days)
Reading is Fundamental Week (in case you hadn’t noticed my priorities)
National Sun Safety Week
National Polka Weekend (22-24)
Mudbug Madness Days (Shreveport, LA)
National Etiquette Week
Emergency Medical Services Week (preferably from a distance)
International Pickles Week (I celebrate dill, the others not so much)
Frog Jumping Jubilee Days (Calaveras County, CA)
National Bike to Work Week

Celebrate All Month Long

If even a week is too constraining—or just doesn’t have enough time to do it properly—go for one of the 118 Monthly Holidays and Observances. Trust me, there is something here for everyone! Just a few far-flung examples:

How good is your posture right now?

American Wetlands Month
Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month
Arthritis Awareness Month
Be Kind to Animals Month (for when a single week isn’t enough!)
Correct Posture Month
Get Caught Reading Month
Gifts from the Garden Month
International Drum Month (though my drumming days are behind me)
National Chocolate Custard Month
National Smile Month
Women’s Health Care Month
National Vinegar Month (there are at least 15 different types.)
Personal History Awareness Month

This blog barely scratches the surface of the momentous options available for days, weeks, or all month long!

Bottom Line: All told, you have 734 opportunities to celebrate, observe and/or hone your awareness. If you don’t, it won’t be for lack of options.

WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?

I’ve been writing a weekly blog for a gazillion years, but this week I struggled to find a topic that engaged me. Why?

It wasn’t a brain freeze. That would be brief: not coming up with the right word, answer, name, etc. A synonym would be drawing a blank: being unable to recall a required piece of information (or failing to find something).

Nor was it Net Brain: this is a syndrome I discovered when I worked at the American Psychological Association. While not an official diagnosis, it’s a handy one: it’s when something just falls out of your consciousness. Examples include missing an appointment (or any commitment). Briefly stated, you forgot.

Could it be a case of Beach Brain? An idle mind, also known as being “out to lunch” (when that isn’t literal). An example would be losing track of a conversation, movie plot, or whose play it is during mah jong.

Writer's Block by Leonid Pasternak
Leonid Pasternack understood my struggle!

My mental wanderings led me to think about other words and phrases we use to summarize disfunction.

FUBAR: f****d up beyond all recovery/remedy/recognition/etc. Also, utterly botched or confused. No, that doesn’t fit my situation; it clearly assumes that something has been done!

Procrastination isn’t apropos, either. I didn’t put off thinking about it, I just couldn’t make progress.

Unfocused? Synonyms for unfocused include muddled, bewildered, dazed, scatterbrained, confused, bemused, senile, negligent. Well, senility could be the root cause, but I refuse to consider it.

Having difficulty making decisions is one symptom of depression, but only one out of dozens of psychological, physical, and social symptoms. So, not depression.

I know of two words for suddenly forgetting something “right on the tip of your tongue” derived from the river Lethe in Greek mythology. If you are suddenly unable to remember a word that you definitely know you know, you are experiencing lethologica. When your brain suddenly refuses to supply the name of a familiar person, that’s lethonomia.

Bottom Line: I don’t know why I struggled so much this week, but I do know the outcome: I’m giving up!

SIBLINGS

My sister visited recently, four wonderful days after several years of not being together. No one else shares our upbringing, relatives, and history. We differ on religion and politics, but she’s my best friend. We understand each other. There’s always love and support between us.

Are we unique? Siblings are as diverse as any other group of people, and surely not all such relationships are wonderful. Jealousy. Spite. Embarrassment. Envy. Competition. Even physical or psychological abuse. But in general?

Having siblings can bring meaningful benefits—shaping relationships, personal growth, and even values. Here are some of the potential benefits, according to research.

Benefits of Siblings

Marx siblings
The Marx Brothers

Learning to Share

Having a sibling almost guarantees you will know how to share, whether willingly or by force. My sister and I shared toys, clothes, and bedrooms. As adults, we still offer each other jewelry, clothes, the starts of perennial plants, etc.

Sharing isn’t only toys and food, though we did that; it’s also time and attention. When there are multiple kids in the family, one child doesn’t monopolize the conversation, which teaches a child to listen as well as talk. Partly because I am the oldest, I had a lot more time with Dad early on while my sister spent more time with Mom.

Companionship and Support

Siblings often provide a lifelong bond, offering emotional support, shared memories, and a sense of belonging. They can be your first friends and confidants. My sister and I confided to each other about our love lives and marital issues.

Author Mary Eberstadt wrote, “Diverse findings show that being accompanied through early life by nonparental contemporaneous others (i.e., siblings) gives children and teenagers a leg up on socialization.”

Conflict Resolution Skills

Growing up with siblings teaches you how to navigate disagreements, compromise, and negotiate—skills that are valuable in all relationships.

Borgia siblings
The Borgia siblings had rather questionable conflict resolution skills.

Empathy and Understanding

Living with siblings helps you develop empathy as you learn to consider others’ perspectives and feelings.

March siblings
Cover of a Spanish translation of Little Women

Shared Responsibilities

Siblings can divide chores, share resources, and help each other with tasks, making daily life easier. This was especially true for us when our mother was ill for several years and I managed the household.

Cost Savings

From sharing clothes to splitting the cost of gifts or vacations, siblings can help reduce financial burdens. We shared clothes as children, vacationed together as adults—especially beach weeks with children—and frequently share the cost of flowers for funerals, decorating our parents’ graves, etc. Cost sharing isn’t a necessity so much as part of our bonds as sisters.

Lifelong Friendship

Many people describe their siblings as their closest friends, even into adulthood—which is how I started this piece.

Caregiving in Later Life

Siblings often support each other in times of need, whether it’s caring for aging parents or helping during tough times. After living in Florida for seventeen years, when my sister’s older husband started failing, she moved them to the town where I lived in Virginia for the explicit purpose of my support.

Sisters Venus and Serena Williams

Healthy Competition

Siblings can motivate you to excel in academics, sports, or other areas by fostering a spirit of healthy competition. Not part of my experience, but consider the Williams sisters’ tennis achievements.

Diversity of Experiences

Growing up with siblings exposes you to different personalities, interests, and perspectives, broadening your worldview.

Jackson 5 siblings
Jackson 5

Shared Family History

Siblings help preserve family traditions, stories, and cultural heritage, creating a sense of continuity and identity. Our recent visit was full of talk, supporting all of those.

Celebrations and Milestones

From holidays to birthdays, siblings make special occasions more joyful and memorable. We attended each other when we married, and still mark significant birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays with gifts, calls, and—too rarely—visits.

Other Siblings’ Relationships

I’m well aware that not all sibling relationships follow this pattern. I was still in elementary school when, realizing that my mother could have no more children, our parents adopted a brother, one month younger than I and in my sister’s class in school.

He and I never developed the closeness I’ve enjoyed with my sister. It may be that not sharing our earliest years was a big factor. It may have been not sharing many activities: he was deep into team sports and our school had none for girls. We also were not in the same classes. I always felt protective of him, and we always got along, but just not the same closeness.

I could go into my husband’s relationships with his siblings, or my daughters’ relationships with each other. Instead, look to your own family and friends.

The Inca War of the Two Brothers, a civil, dynastic war fought between siblings Huáscar and Atahualpa, 1529-1532

Bottom Line: Although it isn’t guaranteed, having siblings offers many potential benefits. Here’s hoping you have enjoyed many of them.

THE DOWNSIDE OF HOUSEGUESTS

bad houseguests
Not all houseguests are housebroken!

My much-loved sister flew in to stay with me for a wonderful four days—our first time together in years! We talked and talked and talked some more: spouses, extended family, children and grandchildren, frustrations, gardening, everyone’s health and well-being, books, cars, my writing…

My sister is considerate and eager to be helpful. We celebrated my birthday. In short, it couldn’t have been a better visit.

On the drive home after dropping her off at the airport, I started a mental to-do list. And I realized that there is always a downside to houseguests. The slope and extent of the downside varies with how many people have come and how compatible they are, but there’s always something. In short, every silver lining has a cloud!

At the Minimum

  • Extra sheets and towels—and maybe napkins—to launder
  • Remaking the guest bed(s)
  • Resetting the table(s) for permanent residents only
Laundry for Houseguests

Depending on the Host’s Circumstances

  • Returning furniture to its former place/function, for example, having moved chairs so that everyone can see the TV
  • Putting away cots or sleeping bags
  • Catching up on work neglected during the visit
  • Doing laundry for the guest(s) during the visit
  • Dealing with leftovers or specially-purchased foods after departure
  • Transportation to/from airport, bus terminal, or train station
  • Arranging parking for guest vehicle

Compatibility with Houseguests

Sometimes, the houseguests and hosts do not quite match each others’ energy.

  • Distinctly different political or social viewpoints can affect everything from what topics are discussed to which news programs are watched or even result in more-or-less hostile “discussions.”
  • If one is religious and the other isn’t, one or the other must compromise on prayer in the home and attendance at services.
  • Sometimes one is go-go and the other is essentially a slug.
  • Sometimes one talks while the other is trying to read, listen to the news, or watch a particular TV show.
  • When one is a night owl and the other is an early bird, it affects everything from scheduling of activities and amusements to the timing of meals.
  • Food restrictions or preferences can often lead to friction
    • Firm or soft scrambled eggs, regular or decaf coffee, fruit vs. juice, vegan/vegetarian vs. meat eaters, etc.
Houseguests Arguing

Hazards Beyond Anyone’s Control

  • Planned activities must be cancelled because of rain, heat, or snow
  • Someone needs medical attention for a fall, allergic reaction, or sudden illness
  • Automobile accident, even if not catastrophic

Houseguests Who are All Downside

And then there are houseguests who are just “bad.” They…

  • Without prior discussion, expect the host to supply everything from sun hats to sleepwear to toiletries
  • Raid refrigerator or cupboard and snack on something needed for a meal
  • Take over the host’s preferred chair or place at the table
  • Make unreasonable demands for food, activities, accommodations, etc.
  • Take possession of the TV remote or the daily newspaper
  • Ask the host for money or to purchase something rather than wait for an offer
  • Put their feet on the furniture, shoes on
  • Take a book from the host’s “to-be-read” stack and ask to take it with them when they leave. Or presume rather than ask.

With this last category, you might well ask yourself, “Can I avoid ever having this person in my home again?”

Bottom Line: When it comes to houseguests, consider whether the upside is worth the downside!

CHILDREN’S PASSIONS

A friend recently mentioned that her niece is obsessed with space and has been excitedly following everything Artemis II she can find. Maybe she’ll become part of the space program someday. Many astronauts have shown a lifelong passion for space, often showing interest in astronomy, space exploration, or science from a young age.

Early Lives of Astronauts

Children's Passions Mercury Seven

Alan Shepard, Gus Grissom, John Glenn, and Wally Schirra are among the Mercury Seven astronauts who were always interested in space. Other notable examples include:

Neil Armstrong: The first person to walk on the Moon, Armstrong was fascinated by flight and space from childhood, inspired by the early days of aviation and space exploration.

Sally Ride: The first American woman in space, she developed an interest in physics and space science early on, inspired by the possibilities of space travel.

Mae Jemison: The first African American woman in space, Jemison was passionate about science and space from an early age, motivated by her love for learning and exploration.

Chris Hadfield: Known for his social media presence from the International Space Station (ISS), Hadfield was inspired by space exploration throughout his life and pursued a career as an astronaut with great enthusiasm.

Yuri Gagarin: The first human in space, Gagarin was drawn to aviation and space as a young man, inspired by the possibilities of human flight.

Common Children’s Passions

It isn’t just space, of course. Children often become passionate about activities that stem from their inherent talents and strengths.

Children's Passions Venus Serena Williams

Running, swimming, biking, team sports, or just playing outside can be a source of excitement and energy for many kids. The Williams sisters began playing tennis at very young ages, with Serena starting around three years old, Venus around age four, coached by their father Richard Williams.

Pretending to be superheroes, explorers, or characters from stories fuels creativity and social skills.

Music and Poetry

Drawing, painting, crafting, music, dance, and storytelling often capture children’s imaginations, allowing them to express themselves and experiment with ideas. Mozart began playing the keyboard and violin and composing music at the age of five.

Cellist Yo Yo Ma began violin lessons at age four and performed Bach Concertos in his first concert at age five at the University of Paris.

British singer Adele developed a passion for voices when she was four years old and published her first track when she was just 17.

Reading and Writing

Books and stories open new worlds and ideas, often igniting a love for reading and learning. Research indicates that reading fiction enhances empathy in children.

The poet Alexander Pope was a child genius, known for translating major works and writing epics in his early teenage years. He was 12 years old when he wrote his first major piece entitled Ode on Solitude. When he was 21 years old, he published Pastorals.

Terry Pratchett started writing as a child and published his first short story in his school magazine at age 13. He was only 15 at the time of his first commercial publication, “Business Rivals.”

S. E. (Susan Eloise) Hinton wrote The Outsiders when she was only 16 years old.

Many young authors can be found online.

Building and Making

Constructing with blocks, LEGO, or other materials sparks passion in kids who enjoy problem-solving and hands-on creation. The LEGO company partners with schools to encourage children’s building passions and STEAM programs.

Kautilya Pandit, an Indian prodigy who demonstrated remarkable engineering skills at a young age, including building models of bridges and other structures. His achievements in engineering concepts at a young age are remarkable.

Science and Biology

Many children are fascinated by animals, plants, and the outdoors. This can include pets, wildlife, insects, and exploring natural environments like parks or gardens.

Charles Darwin showed an early interest in natural history, collecting beetles and other specimens as a child. His curiosity about the natural world grew during his youth, eventually leading to his groundbreaking work on evolution.

From a young age, Jane Goodall was fascinated by animals and Africa. She began observing and studying chimpanzees as a teenager, which developed into her lifelong career in primatology and conservation.

Rachel Carson’s early fascination with marine life led to her influential environmental writings.

Some children develop an early passion for science, asking questions about how things work, conducting simple experiments, or exploring technology. One of my granddaughters put herself to sleep by mentally solving math problems to the base six instead of base ten. Will she become a famous mathematician? It doesn’t matter!

Supporting Children’s Passions

Supporting children’s passions matters—even when it has nothing to do with career achievements.

Encouraging children’s passions nurtures confidence, curiosity, and resilience. It also helps children develop skills aligned with their interests, which can grow into lifelong hobbies or activities.

Nurturing children’s passionate interests is like watering a young seedling, helping it grow into a strong, vibrant tree. And like any tree, it takes time!

Here are some ways to encourage and support children’s enthusiasms.

Create a Supportive Environment

Provide resources: Books, tools, materials, or access to classes related to their interests.

Designate a dedicated space: A cozy corner or area where they can explore freely.

Celebrate curiosity: Show genuine interest and ask questions about what excites them.

Encourage Exploration and Experimentation

Allow freedom: Let children try different activities without pressure to excel immediately.

Value the process over results: Focus on learning and joy rather than just outcomes.

Support mistakes as learning: Help them see failures as stepping stones, not setbacks.

Be an Active Participant

Engage together: Join in their activities occasionally to deepen connection and show support.

Find role models: Introduce them to people or stories that inspire their passion.

Encourage sharing: Help them express their interests through presentations, art, or storytelling.

Balance Passion with Well-being

Respect their pace: Avoid pushing too hard; let their interest evolve naturally.

Encourage social connections: Foster friendships with peers who share similar passions.

Promote diverse experiences: While focusing on passion, encourage trying other activities to develop well-roundedness.

Long-Term Support

Set realistic goals: Help children set achievable steps to deepen their skills.

Provide opportunities: Enroll them in clubs, camps, or competitions aligned with their interests.

Recognize growth: Celebrate milestones and progress to build confidence. By nurturing children’s passions with patience and encouragement, you help cultivate not only skills but also confidence, creativity, and a lifelong love of learning.

Remember that such passions emerge spontaneously, and can be anything. For example

  • Taekwando
  • Ballet
  • Dragons
  • Dinosaurs
  • Construction equipment
  • Etc., etc., etc.

Bottom Line: Children’s passions reflect their natural curiosity, creativity, and desire to explore the world around them. Encouraging them promotes lifelong learning.

ARE YOU TOO YOUNG FOR THAT? OR TOO OLD?

Are you old enough to do that in the United States? It all depends on what “that” is—and where!

In the United States, age requirements for various activities are set by federal and state laws. They vary depending on the activity and location.

Here’s an overview of age thresholds for key activities.

Age Limit by Federal Law

In general, anything under Federal jurisdiction is consistent across states. It’s the areas under state control that vary—and vary widely!

Civic Participation

Age Limit voting

Voting

The minimum age to vote in federal, state, and local elections is 18 years old. The 26th Amendment, ratified in 1971, standardized the voting age for federal and state elections.

Jury Duty

The minimum age to serve on a jury is also 18 years old.

Military Service

The minimum age to enlist in the U.S. military is 17 with parental consent, 18 without.

Drinking and Smoking

Drinking Alcohol

The National Minimum Drinking Age Act of 1984 set 21 as the legal drinking age nationwide.

age limit smoking

Smoking and Tobacco Use

In 2019, a federal law raised the minimum age for purchasing tobacco and vaping products to 21.

Driving Age Limit

The minimum age limit for driving varies by state, by vehicle use, and by level of supervision.

A driver must be 16 years old in North Dakota, South Dakota, and Montana for a full driver’s license. South Dakota and North Dakota drivers can get a learner’s permit at 14 and drive their parents’ car at 15. The age limit is 16.5, 17, or 18 in other states, though most states allow a learner’s permit at 15-16.

Some states offer “hardship licenses” for teens who can prove they need the ability to drive independently earlier than their peers. The family may rely on the teen to drive siblings, to go to school, to work in a family business (such as a farm), or for long-term medical reasons.

Driving Farm Vehicles

There is no specific federal age limit for driving farm vehicles on private farmland.

Age Limit Farm Vehicles

Many states allow youth as young as 14 or 16 to operate farm machinery on private property or on public roads under certain conditions (e.g., with supervision or during harvest season). South Dakota and Kansas permit 14-year-olds to drive farm vehicles with parental permission.

Generally, children under 12 are prohibited from driving farm tractors on public roads, but they may be allowed on private property under supervision. Some states have specific child labor laws for agriculture that allow minors aged 10 or 11 to work and operate certain farm equipment outside school hours under prescribed conditions, reflecting a recognition of agricultural work as a special case.

On public roads, the minimum age to drive farm equipment is often 16, aligning more closely with standard driving laws. However, many states have exemptions for farm use that allow younger drivers to have very limited public road use.

Age of Consent for Sex

Thirty states legally allow individuals aged 16 and older to consent to sexual activity, though some may have close-in-age exemptions or additional conditions that vary by state.

Colorado, Illinois, Louisiana, Missouri, New York, Texas, and Wyoming require teens to be 17 years old.

Age 18 is the law in Arizona, California, Delaware, Florida, Idaho, Kentucky, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Oregon, Tennessee, Utah, Virginia, and Wisconsin.

Marriage Age Limit

age limit marriage

The minimum legal age for marriage is a bit complicated in the US, depending on the state and certain special circumstances. The trend has been to adjust the general marriage age downward and to raise the age for women to that of men. Until 1971, approximately 80% of states had a general marriage age of 18 for women, while for men the general marriage age was 21 in approximately 85% of states. In the U.S., 315,000 girls under the age of 18 were married between 2000 and 2021.

The minimum age at which a person can marry, with or without parental consent or other authorization, is set by each state and territory, either by statute or where the common law applies.

General Marriage Age

The general marriage age (lacking authorization for an exception) is the age of majority, 18 years of age in all states except two. In Nebraska, the general marriage age is 19. In Mississippi, the general marriage age is 21.

Alabama has them switched: the general marriage age is 18 while the age of majority is 19.

Underage Exceptions

When at least one of the marriage partners is under the general marriage age, the marriage is typically allowed with parental or judicial consent or both. The minimum underage marriage age, when all mitigating circumstances are taken into account, commonly ranges from 15 to 17.

  • As of April 2026, four states do not set any minimum age for marriage: California, New Mexico, Oklahoma, and Mississippi.
  • Hawaii and Kansas allow teens to marry at age 15 with parental and judicial approval.
  • Sixteen states completely ban underage marriage: Connecticut, Delaware , Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Vermont, Michigan, Rhode Island, Washington, Virginia, New Hampshire, Maine, Oregon, and Missouri.
  • Many states include age gap specifications in their laws around marriage age. People over a certain age (20, 21, or 22) cannot marry a person under the age of majority.

Gambling

age limit gambling

The age limit varies by state and type of gambling, generally 18 or 21 years old.

The states that allow legal gambling at the age of 18 are Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Minnesota, Montana, Oklahoma, and Washington.

In the U.S., lotteries, bingos, some tribal casinos, horse-racing, and sports betting are often allowed at 18. Casino table games and slot machines typically require players to be 21 or older.

Employment Age Limit

The minimum age for most non-agricultural work under federal child labor laws is 14, with restrictions on hours and types of work. Much like driving farm vehicles, the age limits for working on a farm come with many nuances and exceptions. The youngest workers—typically those aged 14 and 15—have the most restrictions.

Jobs with the Lowest Age Limit (14 or 15)

Office and Clerical Work

Cashiering and Sales (not operating heavy machinery)

Bagging and Carrying Out Customers’ Orders

Clean-up Work (floors, tables, and equipment, with restrictions on hazardous chemicals)

Kitchen Work in Restaurants (minors are still not allowed to cook with dangerous equipment like fryers or ovens)

Library and Museum Work (shelving books or guiding visitors)

Delivering Newspapers (with some state-specific rules)

Key Restrictions for Young Workers

  • Cannot operate heavy machinery or power-driven equipment (with some exceptions like cash registers)
  • Limited to working outside school hours
  • Limited work hours on school days and during the school year (e.g., max 3 hours on school days, 8 hours on non-school days)
  • Work permitted only between 7 a.m. and 7 p.m. (extended to 9 p.m. from June 1 through Labor Day)

Jobs Not Allowed for the Youngest Workers

  • Manufacturing or mining
  • Construction or excavation
  • Operating motor vehicles or power-driven machinery (See farm children for exception)
  • Cooking with open flames or fryers
  • Working in warehouses or loading/unloading trucks

For 16- and 17-year-olds, more jobs open up, including some with power-driven machinery, but hazardous jobs remain prohibited.

Entertainment

Macaulay Culkin

The rules around children employed in entertainment are again full of exceptions and nuance. The US has come quite a long way since Judy Garland was given amphetamines and forced to work 72 hour shifts while filming The Wizard of Oz. Laws in different states mandate things like rest breaks, having an educator and guardian on site, trust funds, on-set conditions, and total hours worked for young performers.

In recent years, legislators have been grappling with the thorny issue of how to classify children who earn money for parents filming them in the home and posting online. If a parent’s primary income derives from documenting a child’s activities, tantrums, and play, which laws should protect the welfare of that child?

Purchasing Firearms

Age limits around purchasing firearms varies by type of gun and from state to state. The minimum age to purchase handguns from licensed dealers is 21 years old. However, many states allow people to purchase rifles and shotguns is 18 years old.

Despite this, based on reports from more than 297,000 adolescents in the U.S. ages 12 to 17, about 4.6 percent of teens carried handguns in 2019. Carrying a handgun is become significantly more common.

Boys reported carrying at a rate four times higher than girls — 6 percent versus 1.5 percent. Still, gun-carrying became twice as common among girls by the end of the study.

Watching R-Rated Movies

There is no federal law, but theaters typically require R-rated moviegoers to be 17 years old or accompanied by an adult.

Not in theaters? Nearly three-quarters of teens aged 13 to 17 have seen pornographic content online, with many exposed before their teen years.

Upper Age Limit

But minors aren’t the only ones affected by age limits. Several areas of life become illegal — or bureaucratically more difficult — for people above a certain age.

Some careers, including airline pilots, air traffic controllers, and some state judges have mandatory retirement ages. These tend to be careers that require fast reflexes or high mental engagement.

Other careers bar participants from joining past a certain age. Many law enforcement agencies will not accept new recruits if they are 30 or 40 years old. The various branches of the military have different limits on the age of new recruits. New Marines must be 28 or younger, but new members of the Army National Guard can be 42.

Most states will not allow a person to attend public schools past age 19, 20, or 21.

Driving is not illegal past a certain age, but states may require more regular and rigorous testing. Texas requires drivers over age 79 to renew their license in person and drivers over age 85 to renew their license every two years. Drivers in Maine over age 65 must renew their license every four years, complete with a vision test.

While there is no age cap on jury service, it is significantly easier for people above age 65 to request an age exemption.

Unofficial Upper Age Limits

Oscar Swahn

There are many areas of life that, though not barred to people above a certain age, become more difficult.

In the workplace, older employees may face age-based discrimination, particularly when trying to find a new job. This is especially prevalent in the tech sector, though it is very difficult to prove.

The individual bodies governing each sport in the Olympics determine qualifications, including age limits, if any. Many sports require participants to be above a certain age. At the 2026 Milano Cortina Games, age limits ranged from 13 for skeleton sledding to 21 for biathlon. There is no official upper age limit, but the physical demands of most sports practically restrict competition at the highest level to young adults. Oscar Swahn , a Swedish shooter, holds the record for being the oldest Olympic participant (age 72 in the 1920 Olympics) as well as the oldest medalist (he was 64 when he won gold in the 1912 Olympics).

Youth hostels may restrict residents above age 35 or 40, but this is often waived if an applicant appears laid-back and capable of clambering into an upper bunk.

Lego packages include a suggested age range to indicate the difficulty of building. Classic sets of non-specific bricks are marked as suitable for ages 4-99. Perhaps people lose the ability to enjoy Lego when they turn 100!

Bottom Line: Even within the United States, if you want to be legal, check relevant laws by state and activity.