NaNoWriMo

NaNoWriMo
NaNoWriMo author

Today’s guest blog was written by Kathleen Corcoran

For several years, I’ve had the idea of a story bouncing around in my head. I had a vague plot and a few bits of interesting dialogue in mind. Occasionally, I’d dive into a flurry of research, absorbing every book I could find related to minor elements that might factor into the story. But I never actually sat down and wrote anything.

A talk with some friends revealed that all three of us were in the same spot. Great ideas, plenty of research… very few words written. One friend suggested that NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) might be the answer.

The official writing challenge has been in a kind of limbo for a few years, but the idea is pretty simple: write a complete draft of a novel, at least 50,000 words, in one month. Traditionally (since 2000 at least), NaNoWriMo has taken place in November, but we decided to do it in February. We wouldn’t have local celebrity endorsements or official contest entries, but we could try writing 2,000 words every day.

And so I spent January of this year coming up with an outline and writing character backgrounds. On the morning of February 1st, I sat down to answer a question I’d been considering for years: How would the residents and staff of a retirement community behave during the Zombie Apocalypse?

For the first few days, meeting the daily goal was easy. I got up extra early and typed up 2,000 words of scenes I’d already mapped out in detail. Dialogue that had been perfected and smoothed for years transferred from my brain to the screen with no trouble. By 6am, I had met my word count and could start my regular morning schedule.

And then, around the fifth day, I ran out of outline. All the interesting bits and scenes I’d so carefully worked out over the preceding month were already written. The rest was much more vague than I realized. Meeting my daily word count was no longer a simple matter of typing the words I had already polished.

Ladybug, my collaborator

With my road map gone, I developed a routine to force out the words every day. Before sitting down to write, I’d take my dog for a very early morning walk. In the freezing pre-dawn, I’d ask her about whatever story bits were giving me trouble. How to move a character who needed to be in two places at once? Which character should I send to scavenge medicine? What’s a realistic reaction for a nurse when confronted with the walking dead? Ladybug gave excellent feedback, though I admit I didn’t understand most of it. When I sat down to write, she’d park her chin on my knee to make sure I didn’t give up early.

Part of what makes NaNoWriMo successful is community support. Participants can meet up with other writers to work together. Schools or libraries sometimes sponsor all-night marathon writing sessions. My fellow novel sprinters and I were in different time zones, so meeting up in person to write together wasn’t really feasible. We checked in frequently over the phone and helped each other with sticky plot points, but we were basically working in isolation.

For the entire month of February, NaNoWriMo more or less took over my brain. I asked random people I met how their job skills would help them fight zombies. At work, I listened to nursing school lectures, podcasts about wheelchair accessible farming techniques, and audiobooks about the pathology of rabies. My spouse put up with me turning every conversation back to the problems of corpse disposal or scavenged weapons.

People around me started to get concerned. I asked a doctor for suggestions of medications that a patient would die without. At one point, my boss overheard me talking through a plot point with a friend: “I think I need to kill Hank, just to make everyone else sad. Plus, he doesn’t have the upper body strength to decapitate anyone.”

I had a really hard time killing anyone. After writing extremely detailed character backgrounds, I found that I liked these fictional people and didn’t want them to be in any danger. I didn’t even want them arguing with each other. Keeping everyone alive and happy during a zombie attack makes for a pretty boring story.

But the story kept growing! More characters, more subplots, more interesting bits I wanted to work in. Halfway through the month, when I had already written nearly 30,000 words, I decided to introduce an entirely different conflict.

I didn’t write particularly good words, but there were an awful lot of them. In fact, one scene wound up being a commercial for a particular brand of lock as an explanation for why a character couldn’t break into a pharmacy. But the idea of NaNoWriMo is to focus on quantity over quality, then go back and fix the quality later. After spending years with a nebulous idea of a story and endlessly procrastinating with research, I finally had some things written down.

So, did I succeed at NaNoWriMo? Well, sort of. The ultimate goal has two parts: a finished novel and 50,000 words. I completed the latter but not the former. My novel is well beyond the minimum word limit, but I haven’t quite finished the plot. Throwing in an additional villain and a moral quandary separate from zombies meant I have more threads to tie up.

Forcing out so many words every day did become easier as the month went on, but I was completely exhausted by the end. On the morning of March 1st, I opened my computer and stared at the screen for a while before simply walking away. In fact, I haven’t written anything else on the project since the end of February. The marathon writing habits of NaNoWriMo haven’t translated to a reasonable writing habit I could keep up.

Perhaps I should try for another 50,000 words in November.

WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?

I’ve been writing a weekly blog for a gazillion years, but this week I struggled to find a topic that engaged me. Why?

It wasn’t a brain freeze. That would be brief: not coming up with the right word, answer, name, etc. A synonym would be drawing a blank: being unable to recall a required piece of information (or failing to find something).

Nor was it Net Brain: this is a syndrome I discovered when I worked at the American Psychological Association. While not an official diagnosis, it’s a handy one: it’s when something just falls out of your consciousness. Examples include missing an appointment (or any commitment). Briefly stated, you forgot.

Could it be a case of Beach Brain? An idle mind, also known as being “out to lunch” (when that isn’t literal). An example would be losing track of a conversation, movie plot, or whose play it is during mah jong.

Writer's Block by Leonid Pasternak
Leonid Pasternack understood my struggle!

My mental wanderings led me to think about other words and phrases we use to summarize disfunction.

FUBAR: f****d up beyond all recovery/remedy/recognition/etc. Also, utterly botched or confused. No, that doesn’t fit my situation; it clearly assumes that something has been done!

Procrastination isn’t apropos, either. I didn’t put off thinking about it, I just couldn’t make progress.

Unfocused? Synonyms for unfocused include muddled, bewildered, dazed, scatterbrained, confused, bemused, senile, negligent. Well, senility could be the root cause, but I refuse to consider it.

Having difficulty making decisions is one symptom of depression, but only one out of dozens of psychological, physical, and social symptoms. So, not depression.

I know of two words for suddenly forgetting something “right on the tip of your tongue” derived from the river Lethe in Greek mythology. If you are suddenly unable to remember a word that you definitely know you know, you are experiencing lethologica. When your brain suddenly refuses to supply the name of a familiar person, that’s lethonomia.

Bottom Line: I don’t know why I struggled so much this week, but I do know the outcome: I’m giving up!

AI: FRIEND OR FOE?

Whatever your answer, the importance of Artificial Intelligence can’t be overstated. AI is all over print and other media, here to stay. Are we benefitting or suffering?

True confession: I started off feeling negative about AI for purposes other than searching for information.

AI for Prolific Writing

One of my favorite forms of escapist reading is Pride and Prejudice fan fiction. Recently I read several books by Rachelle Ayala. Pretty entertaining. I usually gave her four out of five stars. I marveled at her productivity. When I looked at all her publications, Kindle came up with 715 titles! I discovered multiple books in multiple series. And then I saw these two titles: Love by the Prompt: A Romance Writer’s Guide to AI-Powered Writing; and An AI Writer’s Journal: From 0 to 70000 in 14 Days.

My knee-jerk reaction was to vow never to read another of her books. In my opinion, her practices were equivalent to plagiarism: claiming another’s thoughts or ideas as one’s own. I didn’t actually read those two books, but I investigated a bit more. Ayala says, “I am a romance author of over 140 books with two additional pen-names ‘Clare Chu’ (Humor) and ‘Bella Vex’ (Horror).” It turns out that Rachelle Ayala is an award-winning USA Today bestselling author of contemporary romance and romantic suspense. Should I eschew better-than-average entertainment because I don’t approve of the method?

And going forward, how will I know?

Risks of AI Writing Careers

Looking into AI and writing a bit more, I read a recent Wall Street Journal article (11/22/25) profiling two sisters, an auto mechanic and a struggling writer. AI isn’t threatening the former career. Of the latter, “In moments of doubt, Sophia has considered a fallback plan, which was to get certification in AI prompt writing.” But she might need a fallback for her fallback: that once-hot job has been rendered obsolete as AI has become better at understanding poorly written prompts. She concluded, “I’m not at the point yet where I’m willing to compromise writing full-time.”

In truth, writers can use AI in ways I (for one) consider legitimate.

A brief search online turned up the following suggestions for ways a writer can use AI, allowing more time for the creative aspects of writing:

  • Automate tasks like research and data analysis
  • Improve grammar and spelling
  • Generate word choices
  • Draft and enhance content
  • Translate audio to text or vice versa for accessibility
  • Brainstorm creative ideas
  • Create personalized or supplementary material such as video content or internal communications

Personally, I doubt AI will ever generate works comparable to Shakespeare (or Jane Austen). But as the father of the daughters profiled in the WSJ article put it, “At my company, they say you won’t be replaced by AI, but you might be replaced by someone who knows AI better than you do.”

Although my focus is writing—creative writing—I’m aware of ways teachers can use AI to personalize teaching plans. In addition, according to my reading, AI can enhance healthcare delivery, improve disaster response, enable predictive analytics for government services to be more efficient, assist in cancer screening, expand access to social welfare processes, and empower underrepresented communities by addressing social challenges and driving targeted, data-driven solutions.

Downsides of AI

So why not embrace AI with open arms?

The process of training AI programs involves feeding massive amounts of data into the system. Companies have procured that data through copyright infringements, privacy violations, and wholesale scraping of the data of people who may not even be aware of it. Many authors are now including warnings at the end of their books that they do not consent to the use of their work to train AI. Every result from an AI program, including silly videos, audio deepfakes, AI therapists, machine-generated music, insurance claim denials, and medical screening, ultimately relies on the input of humans, whether they consented or not.

AI programs also require vast amounts of computing power, which in turn requires huge data centers, staggering amounts of energy, and massive cooling systems. A single question asked in ChatGPT uses ten times as much electricity as the same question asked in a web browser. Communities near data centers often face water shortages, skyrocketing electricity costs, constant industrial noise, and pollution endangering the health of local residents.

Google Data Center, Council Bluffs Iowa

Research also indicates that, while students who rely excessively on AI may “get the right answer” more quickly, they are less likely to remember the rationale over time. I fear over-dependence on AI will dull human problem-solving skills, critical thinking, and creativity.

And my AI generated response to this query: “Possible negatives of AI include bias in algorithms due to human input, high implementation costs and potential degradation over time, unemployment and workforce disruption, reliability and accuracy concerns, misalignment with use cases leading to ineffective outputs, lowered information integrity, risk of misleading results, and broader societal harms if systems are unfair or unsafe.”

Bottom Line: AI is friend AND foe.

The Importance of Writing

Humans have been telling stories for millennia, and the invention of the written word has allowed us to preserve and share our stories. The importance of writing, any kind of writing, is difficult to overstate.

Lesser Importance of Writing for Money

According to an article by Alison Flood of The Guardian, a 2014 survey revealed that 54% of “traditionally-published” authors and nearly 80% of self-published authors earn less than $1,000 a year. In this same survey, only a minority of respondents listed making money as “extremely important”—around 20% of self-published writers and 25% of traditionally-published authors. Overall, Flood concluded, “Most authors write because they want to share something with the world or gain recognition of some sort.” Clearly, most writers aren’t in it to put food on the table.

If you aren’t writing to put food on the table, you’re writing to feed your soul.  And if you are writing to put food on the table, you are likely on a starvation diet!

Importance of Writing for Health

So why write? Because it’s good for you! A regular writing practice can benefit every aspect of your life. Many people have researched the importance of writing. I’ve combined below some of the findings discussed by Baihley Grandison (“11 Reasons Writing is Good for Your Health”, Writers Digest), Amanda L. Chan (“6 Unexpected Ways Writing Can Transform Your Health“, Huffington Post), and Jordan Rosenfeld (“Your Writing Practice is Calling | Why Do You Write?“, Medium).

Physical

  • Increase memory capacity
  • Healthier immune system
  • Reduce blood pressure
  • Improve lung function
  • Boost athletic performance
  • Writing what you’re thankful for could help you sleep better
  • Writing entertains you and others, and having fun is an important part of good health
  • It could help cancer patients think about their disease

My own experience with breast cancer and its treatment gave rise to three publications: a magical realism piece, “Beast and the Beauty”; a memoir titled “Hindsight” about altering my view of my mother’s invalidism; and a newspaper essay titled “Repair or Redecorate After Breast Cancer.”

Social

  • Learn to communicate better
  • Boost job prospects
  • Writing connects you with others through blogging, writing groups, live readings, and self-publishing outlets like Scribd and Smashwords
  • Through writing, we preserve stories and memories that may otherwise be lost

Mental

  • Expressing emotions through words may speed healing
  • It can form a fundamental part of your gratitude practice
  • Creativity has been proven to have positive effects on health, self-esteem, and vitality
  • Writing is good for your brain, creating a state similar to meditation
  • Writing hones your powers of observation, giving you a fuller experience of life
  • Writing hones your powers of concentration and attention, which is more fractured than ever thanks to technology and TV
  • Writing strengthens your imagination, and imagination is key to feeling hope and joy

Importance of Writing in My Life

From college until I left paid employment thirty years later—excepting the occasional lines of private poetry—I wrote only academic articles and research reports. When no longer employed, with no title and no built-in social network, I found myself lost. And depressed.

That’s when I started writing Dark Harbor.  Mysteries had been my favorite escapist reading, so of course I thought I could write one! I quickly realized I had no idea what I was doing and enrolled in a writing class at the VMFA Studio School. And here I am, four books and more than seventy short stories later, still writing.

It keeps my brain sharp. I learn new things when researching stories—everything from the effects of ketamine on humans to the price of gasoline in 1930 to the characteristics of Buff Orpington hens. I understand myself better in relation to my family. I meet interesting people. (I’ve never met a boring writer!) My journal helps me keep track of personal events, thoughts, and trivia. Publishing—even without much financial reward—is good for my self-esteem. And now that I am a writer, I no longer define myself by what I used to be—as in, “I’m a retired academic.”

Bottom Line: Write for your health, for your community, for your sanity, for your soul. Whatever the reason, write!

STEALING INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY!

Plagiarism Today
Recent article from Plagiarism Today

Plagiarism is the act of presenting someone else’s work, words, or ideas as your own without proper attribution. (Plagiarism.org, Yale University) Plagiarizing is representing another person’s language, thoughts, ideas, or expressions as one’s own original work. Most people consider it a violation of academic integrity and journalistic ethics. (Wikipedia)

Plagiarism can take many forms, according to Bowdoin College:

  • Direct plagiarism (word-for-word copying without quotation marks)
  • Self-plagiarism (submitting your own previous work without permission)
  • Mosaic plagiarism (borrowing phrases without quotation marks or using synonyms while keeping the original structure)
  • Accidental plagiarism (neglecting to cite sources)
Fiona Lisa by AndrewSS7

The University of Oxford defines plagiarism as “Presenting work or ideas from another source as your own, with or without consent of the original author.”

The above would make it seem as though plagiarism is largely an academic concern, but not so. It can be a concern for creative writers, musicians, visual artists, essayists—pretty much anyone who comes up with a concept or product and makes it public. As stated in a slightly different way, plagiarism is the use of another’s work, words, or ideas without attribution. (Poorvu Center for Teaching and Learning) It is also defined as the use, without giving reasonable and appropriate credit to or acknowledging the author or source, of another person’s original work. (Stanford Office of Community Standards)

Is It Plagiarized?

In actual practice, plagiarism may not be so clear. For example, professional speech writers write the words for politicians or others who frequently speak in public. Is the speaker plagiarizing?

Fan Works

And then there is fan-fiction. The entire point is to use characters or plot lines from the works of a popular, admired writer. The source of the ideas is inherent in the genre. Is further acknowledgement required? Or permission?

For example, there are hundreds of “variations” on Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. Using the characters and place names and some of the basic tenets are central to these works. And whatever else changes, whatever obstacles they face, Elizabeth and Darcy come together in the end.

Common Facts

American Gothic, not plagiarism
American Gothic by Udronotto

What about facts? For example, what is the most popular spice in the United States? Black pepper. This same information can be found on numerous websites. Is a reference necessary, or can one say “according to sources across the web”?

As a writer, I have a notebook of words or phrases I’ve come across that strike me as strong or effective. Beef-brained. Butt-polished pews. Veins stand out like blue worms twisting. Skinny and straight as a broom handle. A look so pointed it could bruise. Dare I ever use such in my own writing? I have no idea where I heard or read them.

Plagiarism in the Public Domain

And what about public domain? According to Wikipedia, “The public domain (PD) consists of all the creative work to which no exclusive intellectual property rights apply. Those rights may have expired, been forfeited, expressly waived, or may be inapplicable. Because no one holds the exclusive rights, anyone can legally use or reference those works without permission.”

Public Domain, Wikipedia authors

Common knowledge does not need to be cited. But what qualifies? Information generally known to an educated reader, such as widely known facts and dates, and sometimes ideas or language. Information that most people know or can find out easily in an encyclopedia or dictionary. MIT says it’s information shared by a cultural or national group, and includes knowledge shared by members of a certain field. Just about any subject has common knowledge, including science, literature, history, or entertainment. That George Washington was the first president of the United States is common knowledge for most citizens of the U.S.

Last Supper, not plagiarism
The Last Supper by R. Smith

If you want more examples, a search for “common knowledge questions” will give you many options.

The widespread availability of AI has further complicated issues of plagiarism. Most generative AI systems and large language models rely heavily on creative output (music, writing, and visual art) taken without the artists’ knowledge or permission to generate imitations. Students now openly admit to using generative AI to plagiarize all of their college assignments.

Plagiarism Fallout

Girl with the Pearl … Necklace by limpfish

Consequences of plagiarism in school can include failing grades, suspension, or expulsion. (Yale University) Academic Institutions may fire or otherwise censure faculty members who plagiarize. Novelists, composers, or visual artists may sue a plagiarist and win monetary compensation. And regardless of anything else, a plagiarist suffers public shame for the theft of intellectual property.

By any definition, plagiarism is bad. So, don’t do it! If you don’t want to plagiarize “accidentally” there are tools to help you. Here are two I quickly found online:

(1) Instant Plagiarism Scan – Ensure originality and make the grade with Grammarly’s AI-powered plagiarism checker. Don’t risk plagiarizing! Instantly find and add sources for your work. Try it today. Fix punctuation mistakes. (https://www.grammarly.com/plagiarism/checker)

(2) Instant Plagiarism Scan – Plagiarism checker: Fast, Reliable & User-friendly. Perfect For Students & Professionals. Get Instant Plagiarism Analysis Write Clear, Compelling Papers And Essays with JustDone AI Humanizer Tool (https://www.justdone.com/plagiarism)

Bottom Line: Think—and research if necessary—before you publish.

THERE’S A CLICHÉ FOR THAT!

Clichés, upon their inception, are probably striking and thought-provoking. Word gets around. That’s how they become clichés! And because of them, you need never be at a loss for words.

When It’s Time to Calm Down:

  • Don’t get your knickers in a twist
  • Cool your jets
  • Dial it back a notch
  • Get a grip (on yourself)
  • Keep your hair/hat on
  • Beside oneself

Energized:

clichés
  • Pumped up
  • A shot in the arm
  • High on life
  • Raring to go
  • Chomping at the bit
  • Full of fizz

Shame:

  • Has his tail between his legs
  • Hang his head
  • Can’t look herself in the mirror

Pride:

  • Proud as a peacock
  • Pride goes before a fall
  • Big fish in a small pond

Don’t Be Fooled/Naive:

  • All that glitters is not gold
  • Don’t buy a pig in a poke
  • You can’t judge a book by its cover
  • Always read the fine print

Group Solidarity:

clichés
  • All for one and one for all
  • Get with the program
  • A chain is only as strong as its weakest link
  • Close ranks
  • All hands on deck

Shy or Speechless:

  • Cat got your tongue
  • A closed mouth gathers no feet
  • Tongue tied

Outgoing/Confident:

  • Life of the party
  • Belle of the ball
  • Could hold a conversation with a stump

Fast:

  • At the speed of light
  • Time flies
  • In a jiffy
  • Back in a sec
  • Take off like a bat out of hell
  • Before you could say Jack Robinson

Slow:

  • At a snail’s pace
  • Dragging one’s feet
  • Slow but sure
  • Moving as slow as molasses in January

Pay Attention to the Unspoken:

  • Read between the lines
  • Read the room
  • Pick up on the vibes

Having Fun:

  • Having the time of one’s life
  • Without a care in the world
  • Kicking back
  • Party down
  • In hog heaven
  • As happy as a clam

Bad Mood:

  • Got up on the wrong side of the bed
  • Face like a stormcloud
  • All bent out of shape

When It’s Bad:

  • A fate worse than death
  • Have to reach up to touch bottom
  • Up a creek without a paddle
  • If I didn’t have bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all
  • Behind the eight (8) ball

Rich:

  • Rich as Croesus
  • More money than sense
  • Money to burn
  • On Easy Street
  • Puttin’ on the Ritz
  • Top drawer
  • To the manor born
  • Blue blood
  • Born with a silver spoon in his mouth

Poor:

  • No two nickels to rub together
  • Poor as church mice
  • Barely keeping body and soul together

When All Perceived Choices are Bad (What Psychologists Call an Avoidance-Avoidance Conflict):

  • Between a rock and a hard place
  • A lose-lose proposition
  • Between the devil and the deep blue sea

When Something has Both Positive and Negative Aspects (What Psychologists Call an Approach-Avoidance Conflict):

  • Take the bitter with the sweet
  • Every cloud has a silver lining
  • Two sides to the coin

Old:

  • Old as dirt
  • Long in the tooth
  • Of advanced years
  • Old as Methuselah
  • Classmates with a caveman
  • With Noah on the ark
  • Old as the hills
  • Bloom is off the rose
  • On the far side of (arbitrary year)

Young:

  • Babe in arms
  • A babe in the woods
  • Younger than springtime
  • Wet behind the ears

Ugly:

  • Ugly as sin
  • A face only a mother could love
  • A face that would crack mirrors
  • S/he’s been hit with an ugly stick
  • Ugly as a hat full of holes

Beautiful:

  • Pretty is as pretty does
  • Show-stopping beauty
  • Breathtaking beauty
  • Adonis
  • Greek god(dess)
  • A face that could launch a thousand ships
  • Blonde bombshell
  • Drop-dead gorgeous
  • As fine as frog’s hair
  • Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
  • Beauty is only skin deep
  • Built like a brick sh#thouse

Frightened:

  • Scared to death
  • Scared out of my wits
  • Heart-stopping fear
  • Causing gray hair

Cowardly:

  • Lily-livered
  • Scared of one’s own shadow
  • Spineless
  • Cold feet
  • Yellow through and through

Brave:

  • Lion hearted
  • Nerves of steel
  • Stand your ground

Stupid:

  • Dumb as a stump
  • Not the brightest crayon in the box
  • Was behind the door when brains were being handed out
  • Dumb as a sack of hammers
  • Not playing with a full deck
  • If s/he had another half a brain, it would be lonely
  • Not burdened with an overabundance of smarts
  • Twice as strong as an ox and half as smart
  • A few fries short of a happy meal

Smart:

  • Sharp as a tack
  • Head stuffed full of brains
  • An Einstein

Optimism:

  • Time heals all wounds
  • When life gives you lemons, make lemonade
  • Don’t cry over spilled milk
  • A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step
  • Always look on the bright side

Pessimism:

  • Chicken Little
  • Black Cloud
  • The glass is always half empty

Difficult:

  • An uphill battle
  • Rowing against the current

Easy:

  • Low-hanging fruit
  • Easy as pie
  • Walk in the park
  • Piece of cake
  • Like taking candy from a baby
  • Walk-over

Clumsy:

  • Two left feet
  • All thumbs
  • Made of knees and elbows
  • Able to trip over air
  • Graceful as a hog on ice

When the Outcome is Obvious:

  • The writing’s on the wall
  • It’s all over but the shouting
  • As plain as the nose on your face
  • A foregone conclusion

Planning/Strategy:

  • Play your cards right
  • Measure twice, cut once
  • Look before you leap
  • Better safe than sorry
  • Bring it to the table
  • A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush
  • A good beginning makes a good ending
  • Strike while the iron is hot
  • An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure
  • A stitch in time saves nine
  • Hedge one’s bets

Surprise:

  • A bolt from the blue
  • Gobsmacked

Ending Conflict:

  • Kiss and make up
  • Declare victory and go home
  • Bury the hatchet

Envy:

  • Green with envy
  • Channeling the green-eyed monster
  • The grass is always greener

Love:

  • Opposites attract
  • Love at first sight
  • Love you to the moon and back
  • Head over heels in love
  • Love conquers all
  • All is fair in love and war
  • A faint heart never wins fair lady
  • Love you more than life itself
  • Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all
  • Absence makes the heart grow fonder
  • Out of sight, out of mind

Patience:

  • Time will tell
  • Haste makes waste
  • A watched pot never boils
  • All in due time

Pregnancy:

  • A bun in the oven
  • In the family way
  • Knocked up
  • A shotgun wedding
  • Big as a house
  • Big as the broad side of a barn
  • Biological clock is ticking

Sterility:

  • Shooting blanks
  • No little swimmers

Sober:

  • Sober as a judge
  • On the wagon
  • Always the designated driver
  • Teetotaler

Drunk:

  • Smashed
  • High
  • Plastered
  • Shellacked
  • The morning after the night before
  • The hair of the dog that bit you
  • Drunk as a skunk
  • Three sheets to the wind
  • Full of liquid courage
  • Cork high and bottle deep

These are just a few examples. You can find hundreds online, should you want to!

Bottom Line: What was once a fresh way of looking at something has become weak, losing its novelty or figurative and artistic power—but clichés are still useful!

HAPPY FEET SEASON

Starting in spring, my feet go naked—wholly or in part: going barefoot in new grass, breaking out flip-flops, sandals, and open-toed shoes. Time to beautify! For me, that means polishing my toenails. For some, it also means toe rings. And although tattoos on feet and legs aren’t seasonal, they are much more exposed in spring fashions.

This spring I decided to blog about feet, only to discover that I’ve been there, done that! Five years ago. Although it’s framed for writers and their characters, feet can be just as telling for any reader when it comes to self, family, friends, coworkers… So read on. The pictures are great!

How much thought have you given to your characters’ feet? And shoes? Feet and shoes tend to go together, and both can be valuable as character details, plot devices, and sources of conflict. But let’s start with the basics. Are bare feet good or bad? Yes!

Health Concerns

The Upside of Bare Feet: 

  • Uninhibited flexibility, greater strength, and mobility of the foot.
  • Some research suggests that walking and running barefoot results in a more natural gait, allowing for a more rocking motion of the foot, eliminating hard heel strikes, generating less collision force in the foot and lower leg.
  • Many sports require going barefoot: gymnastics, martial arts, beach volleyball, and tug of war.  Rugby in South Africa is always played barefoot at the primary school level. Other sports have barefoot versions: running, hiking, and water skiing.
  • People who don’t wear shoes have a more natural toe position, not squished together.

The Downside of Bare Feet:

  • Losing protection from cuts, abrasions, bruises, hard surfaces, and extremes of heat or cold.
  • Constantly being barefoot increases likelihood of flat feet, bunions, and hammer toe.
  • Because feet are so sensitive, toe locks and striking the bottoms of the feet are often used as punishment.

Climate and Weather:

  • With no environmental need for shoes, Egyptians, Indians, Greeks, and various African nations have historically gone barefoot.
  • Even when it isn’t necessary, people in such climates often wear ornamental footwear for special occasions.

General Symbolism

  • Baring one’s feet shows humility and subjugation.
  • Going barefoot symbolizes innocence, childhood, and freedom from constraints.
    • Isadora Duncan famously stunned the artistic world when she shed her rigid pointe shoes to dance barefoot in the early 20th century.
  • Bare feet may be a sign of poverty.
    • The assumption of ignorance and poor hygiene often accompanies the poverty of bare feet.
  • Forbidding shoes can mark the barefoot person as a slave or prisoner under the control of others.  Keeping prisoners barefoot is common in China, Zimbabwe, Thailand, Uganda, Iran, Pakistan, India, Congo, Malawi, Rwanda, Ivory Coast, and North Korea.
  • From Roman times on, footwear signaled wealth, power, and status in most of Europe and North Africa. Shoes that are impractical or inhibit movement often signal enhanced status, as they make it obvious the wearer has no need to engage in manual labor.

Cultural Aspects

Religion:

  • Some religious sects take a vow of poverty, including obligatory bare feet.
  • Many Buddhists go barefoot as a reminder to be concerned for Mother Nature, to lead people in the path of virtue, and to develop the Buddhist spirit.
  • Roman Catholics show respect and humility before the Pope by kissing his feet. 
  • In Judaism and some Christian denominations, it is customary to go barefoot while mourning.
  • Anyone entering a mosque or a Hindu temple is expected to remove his or her shoes. Stealing shoes from such a place is often considered a desecration.
    • Hindus show love and respect to a guru by touching his bare feet. 
    • Lord Vishnu’s feet are believed to contain symbols such as a barley-corn and a half-moon.
  • In many spiritual traditions, body and soul are connected by the soles of the feet.

Europe:

  • Wearing shoes indoors is often considered rude or unhygienic in Austria, UK, Ireland, Netherlands, and Belgium.
  • In Italy, France, Spain, and Portugal, wearing shoes indoors is expected.

Asian Countries:

  • Showing the soles of the feet is seen as an insult because the feet are seen as unclean (“You are lower than the soles of my feet”).
  • Shoes are seen as dirty and so are removed before entering a mosque, temple, or house.

China:

  • Take your shoes off when entering a house.
  • The practice of foot-binding began in the 10th century as a sign of wealth and beauty. It was outlawed by Empress Dowager Cixi in 1902 (though this was largely ignored) and successfully outlawed by Sun Yat-Sen in 1912.

Japan:

  • Never cross your feet in Japan.
  • Students take off their street shoes when entering school and wear uwabaki, soft-soled clean shoes, to the classroom. Street shoes are stored in special lockers by the school entrance.
  • Most Japanese homes have a step or bench just inside the door where people stop to remove their shoes before entering the home.

Thailand:

  • A prisoner must be barefoot in court during penal proceedings.
  • Because the feet are the lowest part of the body, they are considered filthy.
    • Showing the soles of your feet is extremely rude, a big taboo at any time.
  • Remove your shoes before entering a school, temple, or home.
  • In some houses or schools, inside slippers (never worn outside) are allowed.

India:

  • Shoes are considered impure, so it is customary to remove footwear when entering a home or a temple.
  • Charanasparsha is a very common gesture of respect and subservience made by bowing and touching the feet of the (always superior in age and position) person being honored.

Australia:

  • It’s common for people, particularly young people, to go barefoot in public.
  • In some regions, students attend school barefoot.

New Zealand:

  • Many people, of all races and cases, conduct daily business barefoot.
  • Being barefoot is more common in rural areas and some seasons.

South Africa:

  • Walking barefoot in public is common among all ethnic groups, in rural and urban areas.
  • The National Guidelines on School Uniform lists shoes as an optional item.
  • Barefoot people are common in public, shopping malls, stores, and events.

Canada:

I assume everyone in Canada wears these all the time.
  • Take off shoes when entering a home.
  • Elementary schools require students to have indoor shoes and provide a place to store outdoor footwear. Outdoor shoes are worn in high schools.
  • Some medical facilities require patients to remove shoes for reasons of cleanliness.
  • Office workers usually wear indoor shoes in winter, outdoor shoes in summer.
  • Agricultural hygiene standards require workers to wear disposable shoe covers any time they are around farm animals, to avoid spreading any infections.

United Kingdom:

  • Among children and teenagers, mostly in rural areas, being barefoot is socially accepted.
  • Some schools encourage barefoot participation in indoor and outdoor physical education.
  • The National Health Service encourages people to go barefoot or wear open-toed sandals in hot weather to avoid sweaty, smelly feet.

United States:

  • Many children in rural areas, and/or those in poverty go barefoot.
  • Very young children seldom wear shoes, partly because they are so difficult to keep on tiny feet.
  • More commonly, people wear shoes both outdoors and indoors.
  • Businesses that don’t prepare or serve food can determine dress codes that prohibit or allow bare feet.

Miscellaneous:

  • Having a foot fetish or kink means being sexually aroused by feet or certain parts thereof, such as toes, arches, ankles, etc.
  • Fairies and magical creatures in several cultures leave no footprints. Checking for footprints is a common method of identifying supernatural creatures and avoiding mischief.
  • Before a baby learns to walk, stroking the bottom of their foot will cause their toes to curl up. After the baby learns to walk (and for the rest of their pedestrian life), stroking the bottom of their foot will cause their toes to curl down.
  • Ancient Egyptians believed that stepping forward with the left foot trod out evil so the heart could proceed.
  • The foot chakra is one of the most important, as it helps pass the Divine Energy to Mother Earth, providing a powerful source of grounding.

Bottom line for writers: What are your characters’ attitudes and behaviors regarding feet and shoes? And why?

VARIATIONS ON A THEME

Sometimes the appeal of fan fiction includes fabulous dance numbers!

For the last several months my preferred escapist reading has been variations on Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. What’s the appeal?

Well, for one thing, I enjoy seeing the varied ways a writer can use Pride and Prejudice as a starting point for so many related but different stories!

In addition to dodging social pitfalls, the Bennets must dodge hordes of the roaming undead.
  • One of the Bennet daughters is an heiress.
  • Mr. Bennet dies and the women must make their way by working, sometimes for their Uncle Gardiner, sometimes as companions.
  • Lydia marries someone other than George Wickham.
  • Jane marries someone other than Charles Bingley.
  • Elizabeth is a widow, often with a child.
  • Mary Bennet marries Collins, and Charlotte Lucas marries someone else entirely.
  • Elizabeth and Darcy become trapped alone together in a flood and must marry because of the “compromise.”
  • Elizabeth and Darcy first meet in their teens and reunite years later.
  • Minor characters shift personalities, behaviors, and support.
  • Jane Austen characters from other novels make an appearance.
  • Longbourn is not entailed.
  • Mrs. Bennet dies; Mr. Bennet remarries and has an heir.
  • Elizabeth is kidnapped.
  • Darcy saves Elizabeth’s life and vice versa.
  • The events of the story are mere background in the lives of the Bennets’ servants, who are dealing with their own problems.

And what makes these stories most comforting is that, whatever happens to other characters or the plot, Darcy and Elizabeth always end up together.

One of Austen’s first imitators was Sybil G. Brinton, whose novel Old Friends and New Fancies (1913) features characters from nearly all of Austen’s novels.

The Kindle Store offers literally hundreds of these stories, to buy or borrow. They come up when a user searches the store for Pride and Prejudice variations. These novels are a version of fan fiction (also known as fanfiction, fan fic, fanfic, fic, or FF).

Fan Fiction

A fan-made movie poster for a cross-over fic casting the characters from BBC’s Merlin in the roles of Pride and Prejudice by ls311 on deviantart

Fan fiction is fiction created by fans—(duh!)—typically in an amateur capacity, that is based on an existing work of fiction, using their characters, settings or other intellectual properties but not authorized by the original creator(s).

Sometimes fan fiction is based on real life celebrities or politicians.

Fan fiction can range from poems and short stories to novel-length works and can be based on various media, including books, movies, TV shows, comics, video games, music videos, board games, and more. 

Fan fiction allows fans to explore their favorite characters, settings, and storylines in new ways, often continuing canon narratives, exploring alternate universes, or creating original stories within the established framework. 

Examples

A graphic novel from Marvel Comics based on Pride and Prejudice
  • Stories based on popular TV shows like “Supernatural” or “Only Murders in the Building”. 
  • Stories based on books like “Harry Potter” or “Twilight”. 
  • Stories based on movies like “Star Wars” or “Avengers”. 
  • Stories inspired by other forms of media (such as the language learning app Duolingo).
  • Poetry and song lyrics reflecting characters or elements of a story

Fan fiction websites, such as Archive of Our Own, Fanfiction.net, and Wattpad, attract millions of daily page views, and many social media users share or discuss fan fiction on Tumblr, Discord, Instagram, and TikTok . 

While fan fiction often uses copyrighted material, it is generally considered fair use because it is a transformative work, and the original creators are unlikely to take legal action.  One must be more cautious when writing variations of more modern works. For works out of copyright, such as Pride and Prejudice, this is never a problem.

Jane Austen’s Fandom

One of the earliest film adaptations, in 1940, starring Greer Garson and Laurence Olivier

Jane Austen fan fiction, or JAFF, is a very popular and thriving genre, with numerous published and unpublished works, and has seen an increase in popularity since the 1995 BBC adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. As I said at the beginning, I greatly enjoy Pride and Prejudice variations.

The Austen fandom boomed after the release of the 1995 BBC Pride and Prejudice miniseries and the 2005 film adaptation.

There are numerous published Austen-inspired novels, with Pride and Prejudice being the most popular source of inspiration, accounting for at least 900 published books. The number of unpublished stories on various JAFF sites at least doubles that number. 

Modern adaptations of Austen’s works, including “The Lizzie Bennet Diaries,” have also drawn in new audiences, including those who may not have read the original novels. 

My particular escapist reading is rooted in Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, but whatever your taste, there’s surely fan fiction out there for you!

Pride and Prejudice: Blood Ties, a role-playing video game that blends Jane Austen’s work with vampires

Evolution of Fan Fiction

Elizabeth Bennet drawn in the style of an anime chibi, by twosugars16 on DeviantArt

“Despite its ties to the Internet, fan fiction is nothing new. English-language fan fiction can be traced to the 18th century. Jonathan Swift’s satiric novel Gulliver’s Travels (1726) inspired some of the earliest fan fiction, including a series of poems by Alexander Pope. In one such piece, Pope imagined Gulliver’s wife bemoaning her adventurer husband’s long absence and his uninterest in her upon his return, accusing him of infidelity during his journeys: “Not touch me! never neighbour call’d me slut! Was Flimnap’s dame more sweet in Lilliput?” (britannica.com)

Because it is, by definition, “derivative,” fan fiction often gets less respect than other fiction. However, many successful traditionally published authors have written fan fiction, including Meg Cabot.

Orson Scott Card, though he says he hates fan fiction, has published “fanfic” at some point in his career.

from Charles Ross: One Man Pride and Prejudice, a stage play in Vancouver, 2019

Author Neil Gaiman inspires fan fiction, and he’s also written it. His novel Good Omens (1990), written with Sir Terry Pratchett, has nearly 50,000 entries on Archive of Our Own. Gaiman’s story “A Study in Emerald” (2003) imagines a crossover between the worlds of Conan Doyle and H.P. Lovecraft, creating a
Sherlock Holmes-style mystery with a supernatural twist. In 2004, members of the World Science Fiction Convention named it the year’s best short story.

“Early fan fiction, like its contemporary counterparts, could be bolder and more sexually explicit than its source material. Henry Fielding wrote a sensual fan fiction of Samuel Richardson’s sentimental novel Pamela (1740). Amusingly titled Shamela (1741), it reimagines Richardson’s protagonist without the burdensome virtue of chastity. Similarly, in the 19th and 20th centuries the works of Jane Austen and Arthur Conan Doyle became popular fodder for fan fiction writers, who may have wondered, What happened between the lines of the original stories?” (britannica.com)

Inspiration

Illustration from Pride and Prejudice and Enterprise, a Star Trek crossover, by NaOH-giveup

Fan fiction shows up in unexpected (by me) places. For example, Biblical fanfic is (could be) a thing. Some in the fan fiction community have gone so far as to call apocryphal writings or Dante’s epic poem The Divine Comedy (c. 1308–21) “biblical fanfic.” Although people generally consider religious literature to be a unique genre, in the Internet age, The Divine Comedy has inspired its own fan fiction, including more than 150 related works on Archive of Our Own. On Fanfiction.net, the Bible has inspired about 4,000 fan pieces.

The huge number of Sherlock Holmes fans inspired the Baker Street Journal (1946), a fan magazine that published a mix of scholarly writing and fan fiction. Ellery Queen’s “My First Meeting with Sherlock Holmes” was one of those. Actually, according to britannica.com, Queen was also a fiction, created by authors Frederic Dannay and Manfred B. Lee. (Dannay and Lee also launched Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine in 1941, which still publishes crime fiction.)

Harry Potter has inspired more than twice as many stories as any other fandom. In second place is the anime Naruto.

Among TV series, the BBC’s Sherlock, which has had only four seasons, generated 29,000 works of fanfiction per season. That’s almost 30% more than the runner up, Teen Wolf, which averages a little more than 20,000 stories per season over six seasons.

Big fandoms tend to be older ones (for example Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Star Trek, Doctor Who, and Supernatural).

Illustration of Star Wars: Rogue One characters in the roles of Pride and Prejudice by Blooming Cyre

Although books often generate fan fiction, here are 5 famous books generated by fanfiction:

  1. The Mortal Instruments Series by Cassandra Clare
  2. Point Pleasant by Jen Archer Wood
  3. Paradise Lost by John Milton
  4. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Seth Grahame-Smith
  5. 50 Shades of Grey by EL James

Why Fan Fiction?

Fans “cos-playing” as characters from Pride and Prejudice, dressing up and acting out the story to better suit the way they thought it should have gone. photo by Ringmasah

Many people write and read fanfic for many reasons.

Fan fiction fosters a sense of community among fans who share an interest in the same media. In addition to exchanging direct contact details, fans can join online communities, Discord servers, subReddits, Tumblr clusters, zine boards, etc. with other fans of similar media. Some fans even set up conventions and local meet-ups.

Some writers use prompts from other fans as writing practice. For example, Sherlock fans will challenge each other to write 221B “drabbles.” They try to tell a story in 221 words, ending with a word that begins with the letter B (in honor of Holmes and Watson’s shared flat at 221B Baker Street). Other prompts include chain stories, collaborations with illustrators, retelling scenes from the point of view of a background character, resetting a story in one’s hometown with local slang, experimenting with first or second person narrative, and just about anything else one might imagine.

Other reasons fans write their own stories:

A lesbian young adult romance in which a young Pittsburgh writer is magically transported to meet the Bennet sisters
  • As a chance to explore and share interests, such as setting the story in a particular historical setting or having characters exploring niche hobbies
  • Providing representation the fan writer feels is missing, whether self-insertion or widening the role of minorities overlooked by the original author
  • Correcting perceived plot holes, factual inaccuracies, or underdeveloped characters
  • Simply making the story turn out the way the fan writer would have preferred!

Bottom Line: If you ever wish you could change a story’s ending or hate to cut ties with particular characters, the solution could be fan fiction. Ditto if you just want to avoid too much news!

NOW THAT’S INSULTING!

What is insulting varies from person to person. One person’s joke is another person’s wound. And insults vary by subculture. What I’ve collected here are words and phrases from across the web that at least some people consider insulting. I’ve not included insults that seem to be tied to specific subgroups, such as shiksa. There are too many of them and this is just an (extensive) sample. I’m neither condoning nor condemning the use of any of these!

Insults to One’s Intellect or Cognitive Skills

“I’ll explain, and I’ll use small words, so you’ll be sure to understand.” ~Wesley, The Princess Bride (1987)
  • Dumb as a rock/post/bag of turnips/hammers
  • Addleheaded
  • Airhead
  • Bubblehead
  • I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain it to you.
  • Biscuit not done in the middle.
  • One card short of a full deck
  • Not playing with a full deck
  • Not the brightest bulb in the pack.
  • The communication skills of an alarm clock.
  • Bad luck when it comes to thinking.
  • The same sense of direction as Christopher Columbus.
  • If you had another half a brain you’d be a halfwit.
  • Sharp as a [rubber] ball.
  • Stupidity is not a crime. [You’re] free to go.
“To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people. I’ve known sheep that could outwit you. I’ve worn dresses with higher IQs. But you think you’re an intellectual, don’t you, ape?” ~Wanda, A Fish Called Wanda (1988)
“If your brains were dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.” ~Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
  • Congratulations on being the top of the bell curve.
  • You are the human equivalent of a participation trophy.
  • Suffering from delusions of adequacy.
  • The attention span of an ice cream in July.
  • A battle of wits with someone who is unarmed.
  • It appears that your brain cells are not holding hands right now.
  • I smell something burning. Are you trying to think again?
  • Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
  • You changed your mind? Here’s hoping this one works better.
  • It’s great that you don’t let education get in the way of your ignorance.
  • No need to fear success. You have nothing to worry about.
  • If [you] ever had a thought, it would die of loneliness.
  • You’d struggle to pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
  • Who’s using the family brain cell at the moment?

Insults to One’s Character/Personality

“Why, you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf herder.” ~Leia Organa, The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
  • I forgot the world revolves around you. My bad!
  • Nose so high in the air s/he sniffs clouds
  • If her/his lips are moving, s/he is lying.
  • A sharp tongue doesn’t indicate a keen mind.
  • I’d give you a nasty look, but you already have one.
  • f you were a spice, you’d be flour.
  • Useful as a lighthouse in a desert.
  • Useless as the “ueue” in “queue.”
  • Useful as a soup sandwich.
  • Just like a Russian doll—full of yourself.
  • Your face is just fine. It’s your personality that’s the issue.
  • Whatever is eating you must be suffering terribly.
  • All the tact of a bowling ball.
  • Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
  • It’s impossible to underestimate you.
  • You have the rest of your life to be a knucklehead. You can take today off.
“If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, then they can sure make something out of you.” ~Muhammad Ali
  • You are proof that the universe has a sense of humor.
  • S/he has no off switch.
  • You should use glue instead of chapstick.
  • Is there an intermission to this drama?
  • Deep as a puddle in a parking lot.
  • A slightly tilted picture frame.
  • You really should come with a warning label.
  • A personality that’s a vibrant shade of beige.
  • As useful/helpful/necessary as a screen door on a submarine.
  • Such a conversation starter. It gets underway as soon as you leave.
  • Two-faced.
  • Crooked as a corkscrew.
  • So crooked he had to be screwed into his grave.
  • Charismatic as a wet sock.
  • Someone who takes more than 15 items through the express lane.
  • Your ambition outweighs your skills.
“You’re somewhere between a cockroach and that white stuff that accumulates at the corner of your mouth when you’re really thirsty.” ~Nic Cage, Con Air (1997)

Insults to One’s Person

“I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an exception!” ~Groucho Marx
  • Looks like the south side of a horse heading north.
  • A nose that could chop wood.
  • If you were fruit you’d be a perfect pear/apple.
  • Not the ugliest wo/man in the world—unless the other one has died
  • I’ve seen salads dressed better than you.
  • You have a face for radio.
  • If my dog was as ugly as you are, I’d shave his butt and walk him backward.
  • Can I have the name of your hair cutter? I need to know where not to go.
  • Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.
  • Two left feet.
  • Sweet as rhubarb.
  • Walleyed.
  • Face so ugly s/he should walk backward.
  • Nobody could be as dumb as you look.
  • My life may be a joke, but it’s not as funny as your outfit.

Wishing Someone Ill

  • May your life be as unpleasant as you are.
  • May you live in interesting times.
  • May your cheek always find the hot side of the pillow and the heel of your left sock always slip down inside your shoe.
  • Wishing you all the happiness you deserve—and not one ounce more.
  • May the chocolate chips in your cookies always turn out to be raisins.
  • May you have a sparsely attended funeral.

Insulting to Men

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork!” ~Mae West
  • Bastard
  • Son-of-a-bitch
  • Thinks with his little head
  • You’re not one of the boys and you never will be
  • Angry white male
  • Mother f***er
  • Beta male
  • You’re just like your father
  • If you walked into a wall with an erection your nose would hit the wall first.
  • Bubba
  • Cock (slang)
  • Company man
  • Buffoon
  • Cuckold
“Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!” ~French knights, Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
“Perhaps I am rather drunk to-night, but I shall be sober to-morrow morning; but you’re a damned fool tonight, and you’ll be a damned fool to-morrow morning.” ~unnamed Parliamentarian, quoted by Augustus Hare
  • Fop
  • Your quiche is terrible!
  • Himbo
  • Dick
  • Incel
  • Master of the unsuccessful comb-over
  • Lothario
  • Lounge lizard
  • You are such a nice guy.
  • MAMIL (middle-aged man in lycra)
  • Manlet
  • Couldn’t get off a rabbit with that little dick.
  • Could wear a women’s bikini bottom, and nobody would look twice.
  • No sports car in the world could compensate for that tiny dick.
  • Need a magnifying glass to see his dick.
  • Does something that small really work?
  • Are you a pedophile? After all, you have a child size penis.
  • Looks like a eunuch.
“You are a sad strange little man, and you have my pity.” ~Buzz Lightyear, Toy Story (1995)
  • Do tiny dicks run in the family?
  • Leads with his zipper.
  • He has cotton balls
  • Mansplaining
  • Pantywaist
  • Manspreading
  • Manterrupting
  • Motherfucker
  • Bell end
  • Prick (slang)
  • Reply guy
  • White knight
  • I am searching for the bones of your father but cannot distinguish them from those of a slave. (said by Diogenes to Alexander the Great)

Insulting to Women

“The woman speaks eight languages and can’t say ‘no’ in any of them.” ~Dorothy Parker
  • Easy piece
  • Battle-axe (woman)
  • Bimbo
  • Cat lady
  • Cougar (slang)
  • Crone
  • Cunt (in some cultures, such as Australia, this is a common greeting among friends, rather than an insult)
  • Dyke (slang)
  • Fag hag
  • Female hysteria
  • Floozie
  • Gold digger
“You wanna see a bad facelift? Helen Danvers, two o’clock. She looks like she’s re-entering the Earth’s atmosphere.” ~Catherine Frazier, The Women (1939)
  • MRS degree
  • Bitch
  • Castrating bitch
  • Nasty woman
  • Nowhere girls
  • Puck bunny
  • Queen bee (sociology)
  • Radical chic
  • Shrew (stock character)
  • Slut
  • Cock teaser
  • Spinster
  • Suzy Homemaker
  • Termagant
“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” ~Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Périgord
  • Trollop
  • Trophy wife
  • Twat
  • Virago
  • WAGs
  • Whore
  • Hoe
  • (Chest) flat as a pancake
  • Thunder thighs
  • Hag
  • Harpy
  • Lesbian until graduation
  • Moll

Generalized Insults

“If you won’t be a good example, then you’ll have to be a horrible warning.” ~Empress Catherine II of Russia
  • You are why the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
  • You’re a nonessential vitamin.
  • I have 90 billion nerves, and you’re on every single one of them.
  • I may not be perfect, but at least I am not you.
  • Yes, sometimes you’re an idiot. But don’t be sorry for who you are!
  • I like you. People say I have no taste, but I like you.
  • I don’t know where you were before we met, but I wish you were still there.
  • I’ll never forget the first time we met. But I’ll keep trying.
  • We were happily married for a month. Too bad it was our 10-year anniversary.
  • I admire the way you try so hard.
  • You’re entitled to your incorrect opinion.
  • You should have tried doing it the way I told you to in the the first place.
  • Well, at least you’re good-looking.
  • What the devil kind of knight are you, that can’t slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? (said by the Zaporozhian Cossacks to Sultan Mehmed IV)

Rare and Outdated

From Merriam-Webster:

“That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?” ~William Shakespeare, (Henry IV Part 1 [Act 2, Scene 4])
  • Cockalorum– a boastful and self-important person; a strutting little fellow
  • Snollygoster– an unprincipled but shrewd person
  • Pillock– a very stupid or foolish person
  • Lickspittle– a fawning subordinate; a suck-up
  • Smellfungus– an excessively faultfinding person
  • Ninnyhammer– ninny; simpleton, fool
  • Mumpsimus– a stubborn person who insists on making an error in spite of being shown that it is wrong
  • Milksop– an unmanly man; a mollycoddle (a pampered or effeminate boy or man)
  • Hobbledehoy– an awkward, gawky young man
  • Pettifogger– shyster; a lawyer whose methods are underhanded or disreputable
  • Mooncalf– a foolish or absentminded person
  • Saltimbanco– a mountebank; a person who sells quack medicines from a platform
  • Smell-feast– one given to finding out and getting invited to good feasts

Bottom Line: Tempting as it might be to fling insults around, consider the possible—probable?— escalation. Relationships might suffer irreparable damage.

“I’d like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is.” ~National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)

BETTER THE DEVIL YOU KNOW

This is the sort of thing someone with low tolerance for ambiguity might say.

Ambiguity is everywhere. It’s an unclear statement, task, or goal. When you encounter an ambiguous situation, you are unsure of how to proceed because the goal is vague or because you don’t have all the information you need/want. Many situations are ambiguous—unclear, uncertain, or open to different interpretations.

In 1949, Else Frenkel-Brunswik introduced ambiguity tolerance–intolerance as a psychological construct to describe the relationship individuals have with ambiguous stimuli or events. Ambiguity tolerant individuals view these stimuli in a neutral and open way; intolerant individuals as a threat. Some people are more inclined one way, and some the other.

Ambiguity Tolerance

Scientists also refer to this tolerance as the ability to “operate in the gray.” It reflects an ability to accept unclear, uncertain, or novel situations and still work effectively. Tolerant individuals are able to deal with ambiguous new stimuli without frustration.

What are the benefits of tolerance of ambiguity? Embracing the unknown allows people (and organizations) to seize new opportunities, take calculated risks, explore previously unchartered territories, and back themselves when they don’t have all the answers.

When there are high levels of uncertainty about a particular business venture, those people with higher levels of tolerance for ambiguity are more likely to succeed. The ability to tolerate conflicting information and deal with missing information makes the difference.

Skills that individuals need to thrive in ambiguous situations are stress-tolerance, good communication skills (verbal and written), problem-solving and critical thinking skills, and adaptability. While some people will naturally have one or some of these skills, anyone can and should learn them.

A study of college students’ tolerance for ambiguity found that students who were involved in the arts had higher scores than business students on ambiguity tolerance, from which the researchers conclude that creativity is linked to ambiguity tolerance.

And there is some evidence that the opposite is also true. A study by De Dreu, Baas, and Nijstad (2008) found that individuals exposed to ambiguous stimuli exhibited greater cognitive flexibility, leading to enhanced creativity and problem-solving skills.

Ambiguity Intolerance

On the other hand, intolerance of ambiguous situations is a cognitive vulnerability that can, in conjunction with stressful life events and negative rumination, lead to depression. Anderson and Schwartz hypothesized in 1992 that this is because ambiguity intolerant individuals tend to see the world as concrete and unchanging, and when an event occurs which disrupts this view these individuals struggle with the ambiguity of their future. Therefore, those who are intolerant of ambiguity begin to have negative beliefs about their situation, and soon view these beliefs as a certainty. This certainty can serve as a predictive measure of depression.

Bochner (1965) categorized attributes given by Frenkel-Brunswik’s theory of individuals who are intolerant to ambiguity as follows:

  • Need for categorization
  • Need for certainty
  • Inability to allow good and bad traits to exist in the same person
  • Acceptance of attitude statements representing a white-black view of life
  • A preference for familiar over unfamiliar
  • Rejection of the unusual or different
  • Resistance to reversal of fluctuating stimuli
  • Early selection and maintenance of one solution in an ambiguous situation
  • Premature closure

The secondary characteristics that describe individuals who are intolerant of ambiguity include uncreative and anxious.

Ambiguity aversion affects behavior. For example, it leads people to avoid participating in the stock market, which has unknown risks (Easley & O’Hara, 2009), and to avoid certain medical treatments when the risks are less known (Berger, et al., 2013). Thus, avoiding ambiguity may make people miss out on a good thing.

Ambiguity aversion is an (irrational?) tendency to prefer the known over the unknown. A person displaying ambiguity aversion would favor taking the highway, even though it’s a tough drive and there’s a chance the unknown route could be better. My extrapolation is that people tend to behave habitually because it is not ambiguous, even when it isn’t the best.

In decision theory and economics, ambiguity aversion prefers known risks over unknown risks. People with this trait would rather choose an alternative where the probability distribution of the outcomes is known over one where the probabilities are unknown.

Walid Afifi, a Communications Professor at the University of California, suggests that for most of us, dealing with ambiguity causes stress and anxiety. This is supported by research indicting that as ambiguity increases, the amygdala (the gray matter deep inside the brain’s cerebral hemispheres) begins responding to a perceived threat. Anxiety and fear rise, while the ventral striatum (which helps respond to rewards) simply stops functioning.

Coping With Ambiguity

Thriving in ambiguous situations requires some special skills:

  • Analytical thinking and innovation
  • Creativity, originality and initiative
  • Complex problem solving
  • Reasoning, problem solving and ideation skills

Act incrementally when you are uncertain.

  • Take small steps, get quick feedback, correct mistakes, and move forward. Starting small and getting quick feedback will help you make progress despite ambiguity. In uncertain situations, delve into what is causing the problem.

Prioritize your own self-care.

  • When you’re sleep-deprived, over-caffeinated, and under-exercised, you’re much less likely to be able to focus, manage your emotions, and make good decisions — all critical for navigating uncertain situations.

Notice and challenge negative thoughts around uncertainty as soon as they come to mind.

  • Obsessing over potential catastrophes has a momentum all its own and can become a downward spiral that renders you anxious and unable to act.

Try to stay relaxed.

  • Cognitive models of anxiety propose that anxious people exhibit biases for threat-related information and a propensity to interpret ambiguous stimuli as more threatening and negative outcomes as more likely to occur than less anxious individuals, which may in turn affect their ability to process non-threats.

Don’t fall prey to analysis paralysis.

  • Look for information but don’t go into perpetual information-seeking mode in the name of learning “enough” to make the right decision. Set a limit on the information you gather, for example, a time limit.

Ambiguities Across Cultures

When exposed to/functioning in a foreign culture, tune in to the cultural norms concerning ambiguity.

Cultures with high uncertainty avoidance have a low tolerance for ambiguity and minimize the possibility of uncomfortable, unstructured situations by enforcing strict rules, safety measures and a belief in absolute truth. People from these cultures tend to become anxious when they are in unfamiliar situations or don’t have at least rough plans.

Cultures that are pretty high on ambiguity tolerance include the nations of the Caribbean and Southern Europe. In these regions, communication with both friends and strangers tends to be informal, time schedules are not always important, and uncertainty is a common feature of daily life.

Within a culture (the U.S.), Harington, Block, and Block (1978) assessed intolerance of ambiguity in children ranging from 3.5 to 4.5 years. The researchers then re-evaluated the children when they turned seven. Their data showed that male students who were high in ambiguity intolerance at the earlier age had more anxiety, required more structure, and had less effective cognitive structure than their female peers who had also tested high in ambiguity intolerance.

Research overall suggests that people don’t like ambiguity. For example, people prefer betting on events whose probabilities are known (objective) to betting on events whose probabilities are unknown to them (subjective).

To put it another way, research has established that, when given a choice between two options differing in their degree of ambiguity, people tend to prefer the less ambiguous option. I.e., most people exhibit ambiguity avoidance.

Bottom Line: Ambiguity cannot be avoided, so your best bet is to learn to handle it.