Clichés, upon their inception, are probably striking and thought-provoking. Word gets around. That’s how they become clichés! And because of them, you need never be at a loss for words.
When It’s Time to Calm Down:
Don’t get your knickers in a twist
Cool your jets
Dial it back a notch
Get a grip (on yourself)
Keep your hair/hat on
Beside oneself
Energized:
Pumped up
A shot in the arm
High on life
Raring to go
Chomping at the bit
Full of fizz
Shame:
Has his tail between his legs
Hang his head
Can’t look herself in the mirror
Pride:
Proud as a peacock
Pride goes before a fall
Big fish in a small pond
Don’t Be Fooled/Naive:
All that glitters is not gold
Don’t buy a pig in a poke
You can’t judge a book by its cover
Always read the fine print
Group Solidarity:
All for one and one for all
Get with the program
A chain is only as strong as its weakest link
Close ranks
All hands on deck
Shy or Speechless:
Cat got your tongue
A closed mouth gathers no feet
Tongue tied
Outgoing/Confident:
Life of the party
Belle of the ball
Could hold a conversation with a stump
Fast:
At the speed of light
Time flies
In a jiffy
Back in a sec
Take off like a bat out of hell
Before you could say Jack Robinson
Slow:
At a snail’s pace
Dragging one’s feet
Slow but sure
Moving as slow as molasses in January
Pay Attention to the Unspoken:
Read between the lines
Read the room
Pick up on the vibes
Having Fun:
Having the time of one’s life
Without a care in the world
Kicking back
Party down
In hog heaven
As happy as a clam
Bad Mood:
Got up on the wrong side of the bed
Face like a stormcloud
All bent out of shape
When It’s Bad:
A fate worse than death
Have to reach up to touch bottom
Up a creek without a paddle
If I didn’t have bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all
Behind the eight (8) ball
Rich:
Rich as Croesus
More money than sense
Money to burn
On Easy Street
Puttin’ on the Ritz
Top drawer
To the manor born
Blue blood
Born with a silver spoon in his mouth
Poor:
No two nickels to rub together
Poor as church mice
Barely keeping body and soul together
When All Perceived Choices are Bad (What Psychologists Call an Avoidance-Avoidance Conflict):
Between a rock and a hard place
A lose-lose proposition
Between the devil and the deep blue sea
When Something has Both Positive and Negative Aspects (What Psychologists Call an Approach-Avoidance Conflict):
Take the bitter with the sweet
Every cloud has a silver lining
Two sides to the coin
Old:
Old as dirt
Long in the tooth
Of advanced years
Old as Methuselah
Classmates with a caveman
With Noah on the ark
Old as the hills
Bloom is off the rose
On the far side of (arbitrary year)
Young:
Babe in arms
A babe in the woods
Younger than springtime
Wet behind the ears
Ugly:
Ugly as sin
A face only a mother could love
A face that would crack mirrors
S/he’s been hit with an ugly stick
Ugly as a hat full of holes
Beautiful:
Pretty is as pretty does
Show-stopping beauty
Breathtaking beauty
Adonis
Greek god(dess)
A face that could launch a thousand ships
Blonde bombshell
Drop-dead gorgeous
As fine as frog’s hair
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
Beauty is only skin deep
Built like a brick sh#thouse
Frightened:
Scared to death
Scared out of my wits
Heart-stopping fear
Causing gray hair
Cowardly:
Lily-livered
Scared of one’s own shadow
Spineless
Cold feet
Yellow through and through
Brave:
Lion hearted
Nerves of steel
Stand your ground
Stupid:
Dumb as a stump
Not the brightest crayon in the box
Was behind the door when brains were being handed out
Dumb as a sack of hammers
Not playing with a full deck
If s/he had another half a brain, it would be lonely
Not burdened with an overabundance of smarts
Twice as strong as an ox and half as smart
A few fries short of a happy meal
Smart:
Sharp as a tack
Head stuffed full of brains
An Einstein
Optimism:
Time heals all wounds
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade
Don’t cry over spilled milk
A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step
Always look on the bright side
Pessimism:
Chicken Little
Black Cloud
The glass is always half empty
Difficult:
An uphill battle
Rowing against the current
Easy:
Low-hanging fruit
Easy as pie
Walk in the park
Piece of cake
Like taking candy from a baby
Walk-over
Clumsy:
Two left feet
All thumbs
Made of knees and elbows
Able to trip over air
Graceful as a hog on ice
When the Outcome is Obvious:
The writing’s on the wall
It’s all over but the shouting
As plain as the nose on your face
A foregone conclusion
Planning/Strategy:
Play your cards right
Measure twice, cut once
Look before you leap
Better safe than sorry
Bring it to the table
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush
A good beginning makes a good ending
Strike while the iron is hot
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure
A stitch in time saves nine
Hedge one’s bets
Surprise:
A bolt from the blue
Gobsmacked
Ending Conflict:
Kiss and make up
Declare victory and go home
Bury the hatchet
Envy:
Green with envy
Channeling the green-eyed monster
The grass is always greener
Love:
Opposites attract
Love at first sight
Love you to the moon and back
Head over heels in love
Love conquers all
All is fair in love and war
A faint heart never wins fair lady
Love you more than life itself
Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all
Absence makes the heart grow fonder
Out of sight, out of mind
Patience:
Time will tell
Haste makes waste
A watched pot never boils
All in due time
Pregnancy:
A bun in the oven
In the family way
Knocked up
A shotgun wedding
Big as a house
Big as the broad side of a barn
Biological clock is ticking
Sterility:
Shooting blanks
No little swimmers
Sober:
Sober as a judge
On the wagon
Always the designated driver
Teetotaler
Drunk:
Smashed
High
Plastered
Shellacked
The morning after the night before
The hair of the dog that bit you
Drunk as a skunk
Three sheets to the wind
Full of liquid courage
Cork high and bottle deep
These are just a few examples. You can find hundreds online, should you want to!
Bottom Line: What was once a fresh way of looking at something has become weak, losing its novelty or figurative and artistic power—but clichés are still useful!
Starting in spring, my feet go naked—wholly or in part: going barefoot in new grass, breaking out flip-flops, sandals, and open-toed shoes. Time to beautify! For me, that means polishing my toenails. For some, it also means toe rings. And although tattoos on feet and legs aren’t seasonal, they are much more exposed in spring fashions.
This spring I decided to blog about feet, only to discover that I’ve been there, done that! Five years ago. Although it’s framed for writers and their characters, feet can be just as telling for any reader when it comes to self, family, friends, coworkers… So read on. The pictures are great!
How much thought have you given to your characters’ feet? And shoes? Feet and shoes tend to go together, and both can be valuable as character details, plot devices, and sources of conflict. But let’s start with the basics. Are bare feet good or bad? Yes!
Health Concerns
The Upside of Bare Feet:
Uninhibited flexibility, greater strength, and mobility of the foot.
Some research suggests that walking and running barefoot results in a more natural gait, allowing for a more rocking motion of the foot, eliminating hard heel strikes, generating less collision force in the foot and lower leg.
Many sports require going barefoot: gymnastics, martial arts, beach volleyball, and tug of war. Rugby in South Africa is always played barefoot at the primary school level. Other sports have barefoot versions: running, hiking, and water skiing.
People who don’t wear shoes have a more natural toe position, not squished together.
Losing protection from cuts, abrasions, bruises, hard surfaces, and extremes of heat or cold.
Constantly being barefoot increases likelihood of flat feet, bunions, and hammer toe.
Because feet are so sensitive, toe locks and striking the bottoms of the feet are often used as punishment.
Climate and Weather:
With no environmental need for shoes, Egyptians, Indians, Greeks, and various African nations have historically gone barefoot.
Even when it isn’t necessary, people in such climates often wear ornamental footwear for special occasions.
General Symbolism
Baring one’s feet shows humility and subjugation.
Going barefoot symbolizes innocence, childhood, and freedom from constraints.
Isadora Duncan famously stunned the artistic world when she shed her rigid pointe shoes to dance barefoot in the early 20th century.
Bare feet may be a sign of poverty.
The assumption of ignorance and poor hygiene often accompanies the poverty of bare feet.
Forbidding shoes can mark the barefoot person as a slave or prisoner under the control of others. Keeping prisoners barefoot is common in China, Zimbabwe, Thailand, Uganda, Iran, Pakistan, India, Congo, Malawi, Rwanda, Ivory Coast, and North Korea.
From Roman times on, footwear signaled wealth, power, and status in most of Europe and North Africa. Shoes that are impractical or inhibit movement often signal enhanced status, as they make it obvious the wearer has no need to engage in manual labor.
Some religious sects take a vow of poverty, including obligatory bare feet.
Many Buddhists go barefoot as a reminder to be concerned for Mother Nature, to lead people in the path of virtue, and to develop the Buddhist spirit.
Roman Catholics show respect and humility before the Pope by kissing his feet.
In Judaism and some Christian denominations, it is customary to go barefoot while mourning.
Anyone entering a mosque or a Hindu temple is expected to remove his or her shoes. Stealing shoes from such a place is often considered a desecration.
Hindus show love and respect to a guru by touching his bare feet.
Lord Vishnu’s feet are believed to contain symbols such as a barley-corn and a half-moon.
In many spiritual traditions, body and soul are connected by the soles of the feet.
Europe:
Wearing shoes indoors is often considered rude or unhygienic in Austria, UK, Ireland, Netherlands, and Belgium.
In Italy, France, Spain, and Portugal, wearing shoes indoors is expected.
Asian Countries:
Showing the soles of the feet is seen as an insult because the feet are seen as unclean (“You are lower than the soles of my feet”).
Shoes are seen as dirty and so are removed before entering a mosque, temple, or house.
China:
Take your shoes off when entering a house.
The practice of foot-binding began in the 10th century as a sign of wealth and beauty. It was outlawed by Empress Dowager Cixi in 1902 (though this was largely ignored) and successfully outlawed by Sun Yat-Sen in 1912.
Japan:
Never cross your feet in Japan.
Students take off their street shoes when entering school and wear uwabaki, soft-soled clean shoes, to the classroom. Street shoes are stored in special lockers by the school entrance.
Most Japanese homes have a step or bench just inside the door where people stop to remove their shoes before entering the home.
Thailand:
A prisoner must be barefoot in court during penal proceedings.
Because the feet are the lowest part of the body, they are considered filthy.
Showing the soles of your feet is extremely rude, a big taboo at any time.
Remove your shoes before entering a school, temple, or home.
In some houses or schools, inside slippers (never worn outside) are allowed.
India:
Shoes are considered impure, so it is customary to remove footwear when entering a home or a temple.
Charanasparsha is a very common gesture of respect and subservience made by bowing and touching the feet of the (always superior in age and position) person being honored.
Australia:
It’s common for people, particularly young people, to go barefoot in public.
In some regions, students attend school barefoot.
New Zealand:
Many people, of all races and cases, conduct daily business barefoot.
Being barefoot is more common in rural areas and some seasons.
South Africa:
Walking barefoot in public is common among all ethnic groups, in rural and urban areas.
Barefoot people are common in public, shopping malls, stores, and events.
Canada:
I assume everyone in Canada wears these all the time.
Take off shoes when entering a home.
Elementary schools require students to have indoor shoes and provide a place to store outdoor footwear. Outdoor shoes are worn in high schools.
Some medical facilities require patients to remove shoes for reasons of cleanliness.
Office workers usually wear indoor shoes in winter, outdoor shoes in summer.
Agricultural hygiene standards require workers to wear disposable shoe covers any time they are around farm animals, to avoid spreading any infections.
United Kingdom:
Among children and teenagers, mostly in rural areas, being barefoot is socially accepted.
Some schools encourage barefoot participation in indoor and outdoor physical education.
The National Health Service encourages people to go barefoot or wear open-toed sandals in hot weather to avoid sweaty, smelly feet.
United States:
Many children in rural areas, and/or those in poverty go barefoot.
Very young children seldom wear shoes, partly because they are so difficult to keep on tiny feet.
More commonly, people wear shoes both outdoors and indoors.
Businesses that don’t prepare or serve food can determine dress codes that prohibit or allow bare feet.
Miscellaneous:
Having a foot fetish or kink means being sexually aroused by feet or certain parts thereof, such as toes, arches, ankles, etc.
Fairies and magical creatures in several cultures leave no footprints. Checking for footprints is a common method of identifying supernatural creatures and avoiding mischief.
Before a baby learns to walk, stroking the bottom of their foot will cause their toes to curl up. After the baby learns to walk (and for the rest of their pedestrian life), stroking the bottom of their foot will cause their toes to curl down.
Ancient Egyptians believed that stepping forward with the left foot trod out evil so the heart could proceed.
The foot chakra is one of the most important, as it helps pass the Divine Energy to Mother Earth, providing a powerful source of grounding.
Bottom line for writers: What are your characters’ attitudes and behaviors regarding feet and shoes? And why?
Sometimes the appeal of fan fiction includes fabulous dance numbers!
For the last several months my preferred escapist reading has been variations on Jane Austen’sPride and Prejudice. What’s the appeal?
Well, for one thing, I enjoy seeing the varied ways a writer can use Pride and Prejudice as a starting point for so many related but different stories!
In addition to dodging social pitfalls, the Bennets must dodge hordes of the roaming undead.
One of the Bennet daughters is an heiress.
Mr. Bennet dies and the women must make their way by working, sometimes for their Uncle Gardiner, sometimes as companions.
Lydia marries someone other than George Wickham.
Jane marries someone other than Charles Bingley.
Elizabeth is a widow, often with a child.
Mary Bennet marries Collins, and Charlotte Lucas marries someone else entirely.
Elizabeth and Darcy become trapped alone together in a flood and must marry because of the “compromise.”
Elizabeth and Darcy first meet in their teens and reunite years later.
Minor characters shift personalities, behaviors, and support.
Jane Austen characters from other novels make an appearance.
Longbourn is not entailed.
Mrs. Bennet dies; Mr. Bennet remarries and has an heir.
Elizabeth is kidnapped.
Darcy saves Elizabeth’s life and vice versa.
The events of the story are mere background in the lives of the Bennets’ servants, who are dealing with their own problems.
And what makes these stories most comforting is that, whatever happens to other characters or the plot, Darcy and Elizabeth always end up together.
The Kindle Store offers literally hundreds of these stories, to buy or borrow. They come up when a user searches the store for Pride and Prejudice variations. These novels are a version of fan fiction (also known as fanfiction, fan fic, fanfic, fic, or FF).
A fan-made movie poster for a cross-over fic casting the characters from BBC’s Merlin in the roles of Pride and Prejudice by ls311 on deviantart
Fan fiction is fiction created by fans—(duh!)—typically in an amateur capacity, that is based on an existing work of fiction, using their characters, settings or other intellectual properties but not authorized by the original creator(s).
Sometimes fan fiction is based on real life celebrities or politicians.
Fan fiction can range from poems and short stories to novel-length works and can be based on various media, including books, movies, TV shows, comics, video games, music videos, board games, and more.
Fan fiction allows fans to explore their favorite characters, settings, and storylines in new ways, often continuing canon narratives, exploring alternate universes, or creating original stories within the established framework.
Stories based on popular TV shows like “Supernatural” or “Only Murders in the Building”.
Stories based on books like “Harry Potter” or “Twilight”.
Stories based on movies like “Star Wars” or “Avengers”.
Stories inspired by other forms of media (such as the language learning app Duolingo).
Poetry and song lyrics reflecting characters or elements of a story
Fan fiction websites, such as Archive of Our Own, Fanfiction.net, and Wattpad, attract millions of daily page views, and many social media users share or discuss fan fiction on Tumblr, Discord, Instagram, and TikTok .
While fan fiction often uses copyrighted material, it is generally considered fair use because it is a transformative work, and the original creators are unlikely to take legal action. One must be more cautious when writing variations of more modern works. For works out of copyright, such as Pride and Prejudice, this is never a problem.
Jane Austen’s Fandom
One of the earliest film adaptations, in 1940, starring Greer Garson and Laurence Olivier
Jane Austen fan fiction, or JAFF, is a very popular and thriving genre, with numerous published and unpublished works, and has seen an increase in popularity since the 1995 BBC adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. As I said at the beginning, I greatly enjoy Pride and Prejudice variations.
There are numerous published Austen-inspired novels, with Pride and Prejudice being the most popular source of inspiration, accounting for at least 900 published books. The number of unpublished stories on various JAFF sites at least doubles that number.
Modern adaptations of Austen’s works, including “The Lizzie Bennet Diaries,” have also drawn in new audiences, including those who may not have read the original novels.
My particular escapist reading is rooted in Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, but whatever your taste, there’s surely fan fiction out there for you!
“Despite its ties to the Internet, fan fiction is nothing new. English-language fan fiction can be traced to the 18th century. Jonathan Swift’s satiric novel Gulliver’s Travels (1726) inspired some of the earliest fan fiction, including a series of poems by Alexander Pope. In one such piece, Pope imagined Gulliver’s wife bemoaning her adventurer husband’s long absence and his uninterest in her upon his return, accusing him of infidelity during his journeys: “Not touch me! never neighbour call’d me slut! Was Flimnap’s dame more sweet in Lilliput?” (britannica.com)
Because it is, by definition, “derivative,” fan fiction often gets less respect than other fiction. However, many successful traditionally published authors have written fan fiction, including Meg Cabot.
Orson Scott Card, though he says he hates fan fiction, has published “fanfic” at some point in his career.
Author Neil Gaiman inspires fan fiction, and he’s also written it. His novel Good Omens (1990), written with Sir Terry Pratchett, has nearly 50,000 entries on Archive of Our Own. Gaiman’s story “A Study in Emerald” (2003) imagines a crossover between the worlds of Conan Doyle and H.P. Lovecraft, creating a Sherlock Holmes-style mystery with a supernatural twist. In 2004, members of the World Science Fiction Convention named it the year’s best short story.
“Early fan fiction, like its contemporary counterparts, could be bolder and more sexually explicit than its source material. Henry Fielding wrote a sensual fan fiction of Samuel Richardson’s sentimental novel Pamela (1740). Amusingly titled Shamela (1741), it reimagines Richardson’s protagonist without the burdensome virtue of chastity. Similarly, in the 19th and 20th centuries the works of Jane Austen and Arthur Conan Doyle became popular fodder for fan fiction writers, who may have wondered, What happened between the lines of the original stories?” (britannica.com)
Fan fiction shows up in unexpected (by me) places. For example, Biblical fanfic is (could be) a thing. Some in the fan fiction community have gone so far as to call apocryphal writings or Dante’s epic poem The Divine Comedy (c. 1308–21) “biblical fanfic.” Although people generally consider religious literature to be a unique genre, in the Internet age, The Divine Comedy has inspired its own fan fiction, including more than 150 related works on Archive of Our Own. On Fanfiction.net, the Bible has inspired about 4,000 fan pieces.
The huge number of Sherlock Holmes fans inspired the Baker Street Journal (1946), a fan magazine that published a mix of scholarly writing and fan fiction. Ellery Queen’s “My First Meeting with Sherlock Holmes” was one of those. Actually, according to britannica.com, Queen was also a fiction, created by authors Frederic Dannay and Manfred B. Lee. (Dannay and Lee also launched Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine in 1941, which still publishes crime fiction.)
Harry Potter has inspired more than twice as many stories as any other fandom. In second place is the anime Naruto.
Among TV series, the BBC’s Sherlock, which has had only four seasons, generated 29,000 works of fanfiction per season. That’s almost 30% more than the runner up, Teen Wolf, which averages a little more than 20,000 stories per season over six seasons.
Big fandoms tend to be older ones (for example Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Star Trek, Doctor Who, and Supernatural).
Illustration of Star Wars: Rogue One characters in the roles of Pride and Prejudice by Blooming Cyre
Although books often generate fan fiction, here are 5 famous books generated by fanfiction:
Many people write and read fanfic for many reasons.
Fan fiction fosters a sense of community among fans who share an interest in the same media. In addition to exchanging direct contact details, fans can join online communities, Discord servers, subReddits, Tumblr clusters, zine boards, etc. with other fans of similar media. Some fans even set up conventions and local meet-ups.
Some writers use prompts from other fans as writing practice. For example, Sherlock fans will challenge each other to write 221B “drabbles.” They try to tell a story in 221 words, ending with a word that begins with the letter B (in honor of Holmes and Watson’s shared flat at 221B Baker Street). Other prompts include chain stories, collaborations with illustrators, retelling scenes from the point of view of a background character, resetting a story in one’s hometown with local slang, experimenting with first or second person narrative, and just about anything else one might imagine.
Other reasons fans write their own stories:
A lesbian young adult romance in which a young Pittsburgh writer is magically transported to meet the Bennet sisters
As a chance to explore and share interests, such as setting the story in a particular historical setting or having characters exploring niche hobbies
Providing representation the fan writer feels is missing, whether self-insertion or widening the role of minorities overlooked by the original author
Correcting perceived plot holes, factual inaccuracies, or underdeveloped characters
Simply making the story turn out the way the fan writer would have preferred!
Bottom Line: If you ever wish you could change a story’s ending or hate to cut ties with particular characters, the solution could be fan fiction. Ditto if you just want to avoid too much news!
What is insulting varies from person to person. One person’s joke is another person’s wound. And insults vary by subculture. What I’ve collected here are words and phrases from across the web that at least some people consider insulting. I’ve not included insults that seem to be tied to specific subgroups, such as shiksa. There are too many of them and this is just an (extensive) sample. I’m neither condoning nor condemning the use of any of these!
Insults to One’s Intellect or Cognitive Skills
“I’ll explain, and I’ll use small words, so you’ll be sure to understand.” ~Wesley, The Princess Bride (1987)
Dumb as a rock/post/bag of turnips/hammers
Addleheaded
Airhead
Bubblehead
I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain it to you.
Biscuit not done in the middle.
One card short of a full deck
Not playing with a full deck
Not the brightest bulb in the pack.
The communication skills of an alarm clock.
Bad luck when it comes to thinking.
The same sense of direction as Christopher Columbus.
If you had another half a brain you’d be a halfwit.
Sharp as a [rubber] ball.
Stupidity is not a crime. [You’re] free to go.
“To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people. I’ve known sheep that could outwit you. I’ve worn dresses with higher IQs. But you think you’re an intellectual, don’t you, ape?” ~Wanda, A Fish Called Wanda (1988)
“If your brains were dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.” ~Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
Congratulations on being the top of the bell curve.
You are the human equivalent of a participation trophy.
Suffering from delusions of adequacy.
The attention span of an ice cream in July.
A battle of wits with someone who is unarmed.
It appears that your brain cells are not holding hands right now.
I smell something burning. Are you trying to think again?
Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
You changed your mind? Here’s hoping this one works better.
It’s great that you don’t let education get in the way of your ignorance.
No need to fear success. You have nothing to worry about.
If [you] ever had a thought, it would die of loneliness.
You’d struggle to pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
Who’s using the family brain cell at the moment?
Insults to One’s Character/Personality
“Why, you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf herder.” ~Leia Organa, The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
I forgot the world revolves around you. My bad!
Nose so high in the air s/he sniffs clouds
If her/his lips are moving, s/he is lying.
A sharp tongue doesn’t indicate a keen mind.
I’d give you a nasty look, but you already have one.
f you were a spice, you’d be flour.
Useful as a lighthouse in a desert.
Useless as the “ueue” in “queue.”
Useful as a soup sandwich.
Just like a Russian doll—full of yourself.
Your face is just fine. It’s your personality that’s the issue.
Whatever is eating you must be suffering terribly.
All the tact of a bowling ball.
Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
It’s impossible to underestimate you.
You have the rest of your life to be a knucklehead. You can take today off.
“If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, then they can sure make something out of you.” ~Muhammad Ali
You are proof that the universe has a sense of humor.
S/he has no off switch.
You should use glue instead of chapstick.
Is there an intermission to this drama?
Deep as a puddle in a parking lot.
A slightly tilted picture frame.
You really should come with a warning label.
A personality that’s a vibrant shade of beige.
As useful/helpful/necessary as a screen door on a submarine.
Such a conversation starter. It gets underway as soon as you leave.
Two-faced.
Crooked as a corkscrew.
So crooked he had to be screwed into his grave.
Charismatic as a wet sock.
Someone who takes more than 15 items through the express lane.
Your ambition outweighs your skills.
“You’re somewhere between a cockroach and that white stuff that accumulates at the corner of your mouth when you’re really thirsty.” ~Nic Cage, Con Air (1997)
Insults to One’s Person
“I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an exception!” ~Groucho Marx
Looks like the south side of a horse heading north.
A nose that could chop wood.
If you were fruit you’d be a perfect pear/apple.
Not the ugliest wo/man in the world—unless the other one has died
I’ve seen salads dressed better than you.
You have a face for radio.
If my dog was as ugly as you are, I’d shave his butt and walk him backward.
Can I have the name of your hair cutter? I need to know where not to go.
Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.
Two left feet.
Sweet as rhubarb.
Walleyed.
Face so ugly s/he should walk backward.
Nobody could be as dumb as you look.
My life may be a joke, but it’s not as funny as your outfit.
Wishing Someone Ill
May your life be as unpleasant as you are.
May you live in interesting times.
May your cheek always find the hot side of the pillow and the heel of your left sock always slip down inside your shoe.
Wishing you all the happiness you deserve—and not one ounce more.
May the chocolate chips in your cookies always turn out to be raisins.
May you have a sparsely attended funeral.
Insulting to Men
“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork!” ~Mae West
Bastard
Son-of-a-bitch
Thinks with his little head
You’re not one of the boys and you never will be
Angry white male
Mother f***er
Beta male
You’re just like your father
If you walked into a wall with an erection your nose would hit the wall first.
Bubba
Cock (slang)
Company man
Buffoon
Cuckold
“Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!” ~French knights, Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
“Perhaps I am rather drunk to-night, but I shall be sober to-morrow morning; but you’re a damned fool tonight, and you’ll be a damned fool to-morrow morning.” ~unnamed Parliamentarian, quoted by Augustus Hare
Fop
Your quiche is terrible!
Himbo
Dick
Incel
Master of the unsuccessful comb-over
Lothario
Lounge lizard
You are such a nice guy.
MAMIL (middle-aged man in lycra)
Manlet
Couldn’t get off a rabbit with that little dick.
Could wear a women’s bikini bottom, and nobody would look twice.
No sports car in the world could compensate for that tiny dick.
Need a magnifying glass to see his dick.
Does something that small really work?
Are you a pedophile? After all, you have a child size penis.
Looks like a eunuch.
“You are a sad strange little man, and you have my pity.” ~Buzz Lightyear, Toy Story (1995)
Do tiny dicks run in the family?
Leads with his zipper.
He has cotton balls
Mansplaining
Pantywaist
Manspreading
Manterrupting
Motherfucker
Bell end
Prick (slang)
Reply guy
White knight
I am searching for the bones of your father but cannot distinguish them from those of a slave. (said by Diogenes to Alexander the Great)
Insulting to Women
“The woman speaks eight languages and can’t say ‘no’ in any of them.” ~Dorothy Parker
Easy piece
Battle-axe (woman)
Bimbo
Cat lady
Cougar (slang)
Crone
Cunt (in some cultures, such as Australia, this is a common greeting among friends, rather than an insult)
Dyke (slang)
Fag hag
Female hysteria
Floozie
Gold digger
“You wanna see a bad facelift? Helen Danvers, two o’clock. She looks like she’s re-entering the Earth’s atmosphere.” ~Catherine Frazier, The Women (1939)
MRS degree
Bitch
Castrating bitch
Nasty woman
Nowhere girls
Puck bunny
Queen bee (sociology)
Radical chic
Shrew (stock character)
Slut
Cock teaser
Spinster
Suzy Homemaker
Termagant
“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” ~Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Périgord
Trollop
Trophy wife
Twat
Virago
WAGs
Whore
Hoe
(Chest) flat as a pancake
Thunder thighs
Hag
Harpy
Lesbian until graduation
Moll
Generalized Insults
“If you won’t be a good example, then you’ll have to be a horrible warning.” ~Empress Catherine II of Russia
You are why the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
You’re a nonessential vitamin.
I have 90 billion nerves, and you’re on every single one of them.
I may not be perfect, but at least I am not you.
Yes, sometimes you’re an idiot. But don’t be sorry for who you are!
I like you. People say I have no taste, but I like you.
I don’t know where you were before we met, but I wish you were still there.
I’ll never forget the first time we met. But I’ll keep trying.
We were happily married for a month. Too bad it was our 10-year anniversary.
I admire the way you try so hard.
You’re entitled to your incorrect opinion.
You should have tried doing it the way I told you to in the the first place.
Well, at least you’re good-looking.
What the devil kind of knight are you, that can’t slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? (said by the Zaporozhian Cossacks to Sultan Mehmed IV)
“That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?” ~William Shakespeare, (Henry IV Part 1 [Act 2, Scene 4])
Cockalorum– a boastful and self-important person; a strutting little fellow
Snollygoster– an unprincipled but shrewd person
Pillock– a very stupid or foolish person
Lickspittle– a fawning subordinate; a suck-up
Smellfungus– an excessively faultfinding person
Ninnyhammer– ninny; simpleton, fool
Mumpsimus– a stubborn person who insists on making an error in spite of being shown that it is wrong
Milksop– an unmanly man; a mollycoddle (a pampered or effeminate boy or man)
Hobbledehoy– an awkward, gawky young man
Pettifogger– shyster; a lawyer whose methods are underhanded or disreputable
Mooncalf– a foolish or absentminded person
Saltimbanco– a mountebank; a person who sells quack medicines from a platform
Smell-feast– one given to finding out and getting invited to good feasts
Bottom Line: Tempting as it might be to fling insults around, consider the possible—probable?— escalation. Relationships might suffer irreparable damage.
“I’d like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is.” ~National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)
This is the sort of thing someone with low tolerance for ambiguity might say.
Ambiguity is everywhere. It’s an unclear statement, task, or goal. When you encounter an ambiguous situation, you are unsure of how to proceed because the goal is vague or because you don’t have all the information you need/want. Many situations are ambiguous—unclear, uncertain, or open to different interpretations.
In 1949, Else Frenkel-Brunswik introduced ambiguity tolerance–intolerance as a psychological construct to describe the relationship individuals have with ambiguous stimuli or events. Ambiguity tolerant individuals view these stimuli in a neutral and open way; intolerant individuals as a threat. Some people are more inclined one way, and some the other.
Scientists also refer to this tolerance as the ability to “operate in the gray.” It reflects an ability to accept unclear, uncertain, or novel situations and still work effectively. Tolerant individuals are able to deal with ambiguous new stimuli without frustration.
What are the benefits of tolerance of ambiguity? Embracing the unknown allows people (and organizations) to seize new opportunities, take calculated risks, explore previously unchartered territories, and back themselves when they don’t have all the answers.
When there are high levels of uncertainty about a particular business venture, those people with higher levels of tolerance for ambiguity are more likely to succeed. The ability to tolerate conflicting information and deal with missing information makes the difference.
Skills that individuals need to thrive in ambiguous situations are stress-tolerance, good communication skills (verbal and written), problem-solving and critical thinking skills, and adaptability. While some people will naturally have one or some of these skills, anyone can and should learn them.
A study of college students’ tolerance for ambiguity found that students who were involved in the arts had higher scores than business students on ambiguity tolerance, from which the researchers conclude that creativity is linked to ambiguity tolerance.
And there is some evidence that the opposite is also true. A study by De Dreu, Baas, and Nijstad (2008) found that individuals exposed to ambiguous stimuli exhibited greater cognitive flexibility, leading to enhanced creativity and problem-solving skills.
On the other hand, intolerance of ambiguous situations is a cognitive vulnerability that can, in conjunction with stressful life events and negative rumination, lead to depression. Anderson and Schwartz hypothesized in 1992 that this is because ambiguity intolerant individuals tend to see the world as concrete and unchanging, and when an event occurs which disrupts this view these individuals struggle with the ambiguity of their future. Therefore, those who are intolerant of ambiguity begin to have negative beliefs about their situation, and soon view these beliefs as a certainty. This certainty can serve as a predictive measure of depression.
Bochner (1965) categorized attributes given by Frenkel-Brunswik’s theory of individuals who are intolerant to ambiguity as follows:
Need for categorization
Need for certainty
Inability to allow good and bad traits to exist in the same person
Acceptance of attitude statements representing a white-black view of life
A preference for familiar over unfamiliar
Rejection of the unusual or different
Resistance to reversal of fluctuating stimuli
Early selection and maintenance of one solution in an ambiguous situation
Premature closure
The secondary characteristics that describe individuals who are intolerant of ambiguity include uncreative and anxious.
Ambiguity aversion affects behavior. For example, it leads people to avoid participating in the stock market, which has unknown risks (Easley & O’Hara, 2009), and to avoid certain medical treatments when the risks are less known (Berger, et al., 2013). Thus, avoiding ambiguity may make people miss out on a good thing.
Ambiguity aversion is an (irrational?) tendency to prefer the known over the unknown. A person displaying ambiguity aversion would favor taking the highway, even though it’s a tough drive and there’s a chance the unknown route could be better. My extrapolation is that people tend to behave habitually because it is not ambiguous, even when it isn’t the best.
In decision theory and economics, ambiguity aversion prefers known risks over unknown risks. People with this trait would rather choose an alternative where the probability distribution of the outcomes is known over one where the probabilities are unknown.
Walid Afifi, a Communications Professor at the University of California, suggests that for most of us, dealing with ambiguity causes stress and anxiety. This is supported by research indicting that as ambiguity increases, the amygdala (the gray matter deep inside the brain’s cerebral hemispheres) begins responding to a perceived threat. Anxiety and fear rise, while the ventral striatum (which helps respond to rewards) simply stops functioning.
Take small steps, get quick feedback, correct mistakes, and move forward. Starting small and getting quick feedback will help you make progress despite ambiguity. In uncertain situations, delve into what is causing the problem.
When you’re sleep-deprived, over-caffeinated, and under-exercised, you’re much less likely to be able to focus, manage your emotions, and make good decisions — all critical for navigating uncertain situations.
Notice and challenge negative thoughts around uncertainty as soon as they come to mind.
Obsessing over potential catastrophes has a momentum all its own and can become a downward spiral that renders you anxious and unable to act.
Cognitive models of anxiety propose that anxious people exhibit biases for threat-related information and a propensity to interpret ambiguous stimuli as more threatening and negative outcomes as more likely to occur than less anxious individuals, which may in turn affect their ability to process non-threats.
Look for information but don’t go into perpetual information-seeking mode in the name of learning “enough” to make the right decision. Set a limit on the information you gather, for example, a time limit.
Cultures with high uncertainty avoidance have a low tolerance for ambiguity and minimize the possibility of uncomfortable, unstructured situations by enforcing strict rules, safety measures and a belief in absolute truth. People from these cultures tend to become anxious when they are in unfamiliar situations or don’t have at least rough plans.
Cultures that are pretty high on ambiguity tolerance include the nations of the Caribbean and Southern Europe. In these regions, communication with both friends and strangers tends to be informal, time schedules are not always important, and uncertainty is a common feature of daily life.
Within a culture (the U.S.), Harington, Block, and Block (1978) assessed intolerance of ambiguity in children ranging from 3.5 to 4.5 years. The researchers then re-evaluated the children when they turned seven. Their data showed that male students who were high in ambiguity intolerance at the earlier age had more anxiety, required more structure, and had less effective cognitive structure than their female peers who had also tested high in ambiguity intolerance.
Research overall suggests that people don’t like ambiguity. For example, people prefer betting on events whose probabilities are known (objective) to betting on events whose probabilities are unknown to them (subjective).
To put it another way, research has established that, when given a choice between two options differing in their degree of ambiguity, people tend to prefer the less ambiguous option. I.e., most people exhibit ambiguity avoidance.
Bottom Line: Ambiguity cannot be avoided, so your best bet is to learn to handle it.
Decades later, that breed name was still with me when I wrote “Real Likable Birds” a fiction piece. Here’s a quote:
“But I’ve thought it over, and the majority of my flock is going to be Buff Orpingtons. … They lay the prettiest brown eggs you’d ever hope to see. … The Buff Orpingtons are good, heavy chickens. They lay really well and they stay put behind a fence. They got more feathers than most, so I won’t have to worry about how they’d take a long cold snap. They’re gentle as anything. And the supplier says that come warm weather, it’s a good bet they’ll set. He said he’d put ’em up against most breeds for broodiness, mothering, and foster-mothering. My Buff Orpingtons are just going to be real likable birds.”
from “Real Likable Birds” by Vivian Lawry
My personal experience with chickens is pretty minimal. My paternal grandparents had a hard-scrabble farm in the mountains of eastern Kentucky. Granny kept a flock of chickens, primarily for eggs for the table, but when old hens stopped laying well, there was chicken for dinner, too. One of my most vivid early childhood memories is from a time when Granny killed one of those old hens. She held it by the legs and put its head on her chopping block—a big old tree stump in the back yard—and cut its head off with an axe.
When it stopped flopping around on the grass, spraying blood everywhere, she again held it by the legs and dipped the carcass into a big cauldron of boiling water, also there in the back yard. The boiling water loosened the feathers for plucking. I helped with that, and the smell was awful—a combination of ammonia and poop. We put the feathers aside to wash later. They would be made into a feather tick for a warm bed in winter.
She singed the pinfeathers off the carcass over the wood burning stove in the kitchen and slit it open in the dry sink. Then she showed me a row of little yellow spheres like graduated pearls, the biggest about the size of my fingertip. She said those would have been eggs. Decades later, I learned that a hen is born with all the eggs she will ever lay.
Everyone Loves Chickens
It is estimated that there are more than 33 billion chickens worldwide! Outnumbering the human population, chickens are one of the most common farm animals.
ZZ, a Barred Rock hen
For no particular reason, I decided to learn more about this bird that is so common and yet so unfamiliar today beyond the clichés in common parlance:
Flopping around like a chicken with its head cut off
Fly the coop
Pecking order
Scarce as hen’s teeth
Stuck in my craw
Put all your eggs in one basket
Walk on eggshells
Mother hen
No spring chicken
Rule the roost
So What’s to Know, Anyway? Just Read On!
Dawn, a Grey Silkie hen
Chickens are the closest living relatives of dinosaurs! Science has documented the shared common ancestry between chickens and the Tyrannosaurus rex.
Chickens were domesticated about 8000 years ago, and evolved from the Red or Gray junglefowl, which are tropical birds. These wild birds fly to escape predators and to roost high up in trees. Today’s domestic chickens still have the ability to fly, although not as effectively. Chickens can fly for short distances – enough to clear obstacles or reach a perch, say about 15′ of the ground.
DT, a Buff Orpington hen
Chickens are faster than you might think. They can run up to 9 mph in short bursts, but their real power is they can turn on a dime. This speed and agility helps keep them safe from predators.
Some research suggests that chickens are just as clever as human toddlers. Hens have exhibited mathematical reasoning, object permanence, self-control, and even structural engineering. Chickens also demonstrate empathy and a number of emotional responses! Chickens can learn to do tricks twice as quickly as a dog.
Sleepy Chickens
Sleepy chicks
Research has shown that chickens experience REM (rapid eye movement) while sleeping, which indicates dreaming in humans.
They also have a sleep phase that humans don’t experience called unihemispheric slow-wave sleep, where one half of the brain is asleep and the other is awake. This means that chickens can sleep with one eye open, which is especially useful for looking out for predators.
The “alpha” hen sleeps in the middle while roosting and the others that are lower in the hierarchy sleep on the outside with the outer eye open to watch for predators. These chickens on the outsides switch sides throughout the night so they can rest the other eye.
Chicken Anatomy
Peggy, a White Paint Silkie hen
Like humans, chickens have color vision, and are able to see red, green, and blue light. However, unlike humans, chickens are also able to see ultraviolet light, which are the colors we see when using a black light!
A chicken’s left eye is far-sighted, and their right eye is near-sighted. This has to do with the position of the embryo in the egg, and is very adaptive for finding food up close and spotting predators at a distance.
The position of a chicken’s eyes allow it to see in a 300 degree field. (Humans can only see 180 degrees.)
Sometimes, pervy geese like to spy on chickens in the bath!
While this may seem contradictory, chickens (like some other birds) bathe in dirt. They have an oil gland on their back that spreads oil over their feathers to make them waterproof. Over time, the oil goes stale, and chickens need to wash the old oil off through dust bathing.
Dust bathing is when chickens crouch on the ground and spread dirt or another dusty material over their body. The stale oil sticks onto the particles of dirt and falls off when the chicken shakes off the dirt. Chickens can then spread fresh oil onto their feathers.
Chickens don’t pee, they have a cloaca (just like dinosaurs) and their waste is a combination of poo and pee. That’s why their manure is considered “hot” and needs to break down before it is safe for plants: it’s full of concentrated chicken pee paste!
Chickens use their combs and wattles to help cool off in the summer. It’s kind of like mammals having big ears in desert environments. Blood cools off in the extremities and helps keep an animal from overheating.
Some claim that on a hot day, feeding chickens frozen veggies and fruits, which sit in their crop/craw, will cool chickens from the inside.
Chicken Feed
Natasha, a Green Queen hen
Some people think that chickens eat only plants and grains, but they actually eat (and enjoy) a much wider variety of foods, including bits of dairy or meat. Many owners use kitchen scraps to supplement their flock’s feed, which makes for an environmentally-friendly way to handle leftover food waste.
Chickens also like to peck around in the dirt and find bugs to eat, for example, beetles, larvae, slugs, grasshoppers, and even poisonous snakes.
In short, they’ll eat pretty much anything, but often have favorites—as reported by one chicken owner: “Mine LOVE papaya.” FYI, they can’t taste spice.
Chickens live in groups called flocks. The social structure of these flocks depends on a hierarchy called a pecking order, i.e., an order of dominance. Each chicken knows its place in this order, which helps to maintain a stable, cohesive group.
Chickens are predators to anything smaller than themselves. They’ll pick on or even kill other chickens they think won’t make it.
Chickens have over 30 unique vocalizations that they use to communicate a wide variety of messages to other chickens, including mating calls, stress signals, warnings of danger, how they are feeling, and food discovery.
The noise a chicken makes when it sees a particular person is its name for that person.
To keep roosters from fighting and keep hens from being stressed, flocks need hens to outnumber roosters. Depending on the breed, recommended ratios range from 1:5 to 1:12. Too many roosters can cause fighting over hens that aren’t “their own.”
With more than one rooster, each rooster should have its own territory—again, to minimize fights over territory, hens, and resources. Hens can lose neck and tail feathers from being mounted too often. A hen can mate with a rooster and then change her mind at the last minute and reject his sperm if she deems another rooster to be superior—also not conducive to peace.
Lazarus, a barnyard mix rooster
Roosters crow many hours of the day, not just at dawn. When a rooster in a flock dies, a dominant hen may develop male features such as spurs, long wattles, and combs, and attempt to crow and mate.
A chicken can be extremely aggressive at times, willing to beef up with things larger than herself. One mama hen named Lily chased an oblivious squirrel across the yard for existing. She also attacked a 100 lb Pitbull for getting close to her only chick.
Studies have shown that chickens are self-aware and can distinguish themselves from others. Chickens can also demonstrate complex problem-solving skills.
“Eggcellent!”
Latifah, an Ayam Cemani hen
Hens can lay eggs all on their own- no rooster needed!!! Indeed, some flocks are hens only.
One hen may lay as many as 300 eggs per year! As hens age, the number (and quality) of eggs laid tends to decrease.
What is the difference between brown and white eggs? The color of the shell depends on the breed of the hen, but it’s not feather color that tells you what color the egg shell will be. Chickens actually have earlobes, and generally, hens with red earlobes will lay brown eggs, and hens with white earlobes lay white eggs.
Although the color of the shell differs, the nutritional content and flavor do not. Nevertheless, brown eggs can cost 10-20% more than white eggs. The hen’s diet determines the color of the yolk.
A chicken will only lay one color egg in her lifetime.
Unwashed eggs will keep at room temperature for up to two weeks because they are laid with a protective coating. Washing away this coating (as is common in commercial US egg farms) means the eggs must be refrigerated. Refrigerated, they’ll last 5-6 weeks.
What Color?
Although most eggs are either brown or white, a surprising number of breeds lay other colored eggs:
Blue – The Cream Legbar is the best layer of blue eggs. She is a cross between the Leghorn, Cambar, Barred Rock, and Araucana.
Chocolate Brown – Many people like the dark (chocolate) eggs of the Black Copper Maran. Although those deep-colored eggs are beautiful to look at, they do come at a price. Buying good quality stock is expensive.
Brown – Depending on the shade of brown you want, you have a vast selection of breeds. The Rhode Island Red is perfect if you are looking for a mid-brown egg.
Green – The Isbar is your best chance to get green-colored eggs. The depth of green coloration will depend on the quality and genetics of the bird. While some lay a deep moss green, others can lay anywhere from a light green to a khaki-colored egg.
Plum-Croad Langshans are the only breed known to lay plum-colored eggs on a relatively consistent basis (the quality of the color will depend upon the parentage).
Pink – Pink eggs can be a matter of perception. To some folks, the egg may appear to be a light tint. To others, it will appear a pale pink. Orpingtons are your best bet for consistently pink-colored eggs.
Baby Chickens
In nature, a hen selects a nest site and lays a clutch of eggs (6-13), one egg per day. Once her clutch is complete, she sits on the eggs full time, leaving only to eat and drink.
Chickens tend to their eggs carefully. A hen turns her eggs approximately 50 times a day to keep the embryo from sticking to the side of the shell.
Buff Orpington and Speckled Sussex chicks
In a fertilized egg, the white (albumin) becomes the “chick” and the yolk is a food source for the growing baby. After hatching, a chick can go up to 72 hours without food because it’s still digesting that yolk.
When chickens lay eggs, the mother hens make noises that chicks still incubating inside of their eggs can hear and respond to. The chicks even make tiny “peeps” back from inside of their eggs!
Chicks as young as 2 days old recognize object permanence, a skill acquired by humans about 6 months of age. This means they know an object still exists even when taken away or hidden.
Chicks learn from their mothers and others in the flock, such as which foods are good to eat and where to find water.
A male chicken less than a year old is a cockerel; over a year old is a cock. A female chicken less than a year old is a pullet; over a year old is a hen.
Chicken Breeds
Pinny, a Red Cuckoo Silkie hen
People exhibit (show) chickens much like dog shows. There is a standard of perfection for each breed of chicken recognized by the American Poultry Association. There’s also an American Bantam Association, which regulates smaller bantam-sized poultry breeds.
The smallest breed of chicken, weighing only 8-15 ounces, is the Serama.
Silkie chickens have dark skin and bones as well as walnut-shaped combs for the males instead of your typical comb.
Ayam Cemani chickens, from Indonesia, have black feathers, faces, skin, and even organs. They lay pale pink eggs.
An American breed of chicken called the Buckeye was developed by Nettie Metcalf of Warren, Ohio, in the late 19th century. She bred a Buff Cochin male with Barred Plymouth Rock females, and named the new breed for Ohio, the Buckeye State. It is still the only American chicken breed developed by a woman. (The American Poultry Association recognizes 53 large chicken breeds, plus additional bantam chicken breeds.)
Bottom Line: Chickens are smart, complex, and all around interesting. They’re real likable birds!
People are funny, strange, and wondrous creatures! Just read on.
Hobbies
Estimates are that 400,000-500,000 people in the U.S,—more than 95% of them women—play Mah Jong with the National Mah Jong League card. Another 350,000,000 play thirteen versions of Mah Jong in Asia. Game experts have long recognized mah jong as the world’s most played game, with an estimated player base in Asia, Europe, and North American ten times bigger than poker.
Who are the most optimistic pet owners in the U.S.? Tortoise owners, because tortoises can live 80-150 years! (I couldn’t find a number specifically for tortoise owners, but approximately 18% of American households keep tortoises or turtles as pets.)
Only 1-2% of the U.S. population has gone skydiving at least once.
Rock climbing? It depends on what type of climbing you are looking at. Women are 59% of sports climbers, but only 39% of those in mountaineering, ice, and traditional climbing combined. Then there is indoor vs. outdoor climbers, and boulderers, each of which have different gender makeups.
Among U.S. households, 52% have at least one person, age 5 or older, who is currently playing a musical instrument. Two-thirds of Americans (66%) learned to play a musical instrument at some point in their lives. The most popular musical instrument is the guitar. The double bass is probably the least played instrument.
The average American spends only 19 minutes a day reading. The average number of books read by adults over the age of 65 is higher than any other age group, at around 20 books per year. Men tend to read non-fiction books more often than women.
Men tell more jokes professionally than women do. In the United States, 11.3% of stand up comedians are women and 88.7% of stand up comedians are men. Over an 11 year period, these percentages have shifted approximately 2% in favor of women. Systemic sexism in the industry (venue directors reluctant to book female comedians, backstage abuse, pay disparities, hostile crowds, etc.) are a bigger driver in this divide than any difference in innate funniness.
Research on liking and loving between engaged couples found that the men loved their partners more than they liked them. The women both liked and loved their partners.
Women survive famine and epidemics better than men. On the other hand, research has shown that women disproportionately suffer the impacts of disasters, severe weather events, and climate change.
One study found that men with longer ring fingers than index fingers had slightly longer penises. However, the common misconception that hand size predicts penis size has been widely discredited.
Research shows that women with larger breasts tend to have higher estrogen levels; breast size may therefore serve as an indicator of potential fertility.
Health
Approximately 60% of people are side sleepers. Only about 7% are stomach sleepers—which is fortunate, because stomach sleeping is the least healthful position.
A feel-good life is not necessarily a healthy one. Stress can be good for us. Stress is a powerful motivator. It can enhance your resilience and problem-solving skills, strengthen relationships, promote personal growth and self-improvement, and improve cognitive function.
Female pattern baldness affects about one-third of all women and people assigned female at birth (AFAB). The chances of getting female pattern baldness increase with age.
Caucasians experience the most hair loss; people of Afro-Caribbean heritage tend to experience the next highest levels of hair loss, with Asian men having the lowest hair loss rates.
On average, male pattern baldness begins in the late twenties to early thirties. By the age of 50, approximately 50% of men will experience some degree of hair loss.
For both men and women, pattern baldness tends to cluster in families. Having a close relative with patterned hair loss appears to be a risk factor for developing the condition.
Outlook
Nationally forty-seven percent of Americans are either very or somewhat optimistic, while the other 53 percent are more inclined to be somewhat or very pessimistic about the future.
Speaking in a foreign language might change your decisions or the reasons for those decisions.
In addition, speaking multiple languages gives a person a sense of reality and identity that is separate from monolinguals and monoculturals.
US research published in the Journal of Consumer Research indicates bilinguals may unconsciously switch personalities depending on the language they are using.
The type of music you listen to affects the way you perceive the world. According to results from a 2014 study done by Laura Getz and colleagues, those with a higher perceived idea of stress and those with higher optimism preferred more upbeat and popular music. Both also used this kind of music for emotional regulation.
Wisco and Nolen-Hoeksema (2009) found that those who were already unhappy had more negative memory associations [to songs] than those who were not unhappy.
The food you make may not taste the same as the food someone else makes, despite following the same recipe. Minor differences in things like water hardness and oven temperature affect flavor, but the diner’s experience (happy or sad occasion, food presentation, level of hunger, speed of eating, etc.) also changes the taste of food.
Research indicates that those eating with others eat up to 48% more food than solo diners. This phenomenon is known as ‘social facilitation’.
Beyond urns, there are many options for ashes: made into jewelry, or different types of objects, such as glass art, sculptures, diamonds, keychains, or hunting bullets. You can even turn your loved one’s ashes into a vinyl album or get them tattooed into your own skin. Of course, many people choose to scatter cremains in special places.
Bottom Line: Whatever you want to know about human behavior or characteristics, someone has studied it and shared those answers online.
Recently I had a dream that involved seeing how many words I could make from “Texas Hold ‘Em.” That felt so weird that the memory stuck with me. Subsequently I decided to give it a go, and ended up with 78 words using those letters, only those letters, and each letter only as often as it appeared in those words—i.e., words with two e’s were acceptable but two t’s, d’s, etc., weren’t.
That led me to thinking about other word games. As so many do these days, I started my search online. And, as so often is the case, up popped Wikipedia.
Wikipedia defines Word Games as spoken, board, card or video games often designed to test ability with language or to explore its properties. I couldn’t find any other definitions online.
Most people see word games as a source of entertainment, but they can serve an additional educational purpose. Among the academically best performing children, 35% had parents who encouraged them to play word games. Many young children enjoy playing games such as Hangman, while developing language skills like spelling. ESL teachers often include word games in their classrooms to help students learn to recognize and use English words in context.
Benefits of Word Games
Contrary to the stereotype of young people being the primary demographic for online games, word games attract players of all ages. A 2020 Statista report suggested that people aged 25 to 54 make up nearly 60% of word game players.
And adults can reap benefits of such brain work as well. Researchers have found that adults who regularly solved crossword puzzles, which require familiarity with a larger vocabulary, had better brain function later in life.
Indeed, over time, playing word games improves problem-solving and analytical skills. Often these games require players to think and use other cognitive skills at the same time.
According to a 2024 article in Parade, the reason word games are good for brain health is that they can improve attention, verbal fluency, memory, and processing speed. All these skills can decline with age. One 68-year-long study found a link between playing word games and better cognitive health in old age.
According to a 2022 PBS broadcast, people who have a high need for cognition tend to seek out mental challenges like word game and puzzles. The results cited above are all correlational results, i.e., that is, as game playing habits go up, the positive brain measures go up as well, but maybe the cause, is actually something else, like a high need for cognition that accounts for both.
Depending on the situation, word games can play a soporific role as well. Because they require concentration and lateral thinking, they can distract the player from stress and anxiety. Many require nothing but the player’s mind, making them perfect to play in bed, on a plane, while stuck in a boring meeting, etc. A friend told me she plays an alphabet game when she has trouble falling asleep. I seem to be playing anagrams even after I’ve fallen asleep!
Word Game Categories
(Unless otherwise noted, the following information is from the Wikipedia article.)
Letter Arrangement Games
SONY DSC
The goal of a letter arrangement game is to form words out of given letters. In addition to testing vocabulary skills, these games test lateral thinking skills. Scrabble, UpWords, Bananagrams, and Countdown are popular examples of letter arrangement games.
FYI: Around the world, approximately 150 million copies of Scrabble have been sold.
Note: This is where anagrams would fit best, although not mentioned in the article. On the other hand, it involves paper and pencil, so maybe it also fits the following.
Paper and Pencil Games
Paper and pencil game players write down their answers, following the specific constraints laid out in the game rules. Crossword players fill in a grid by following clues or solving riddles. Hangman players try to guess their opponent’s word or phrase before their opponent is able to draw a stick figure hanging from a gallows. Categories, Boggle, and word searches are other popular examples of paper and pencil word games.
Semantic Games
Semantic games focus on the meanings and context of words. Players rely on their shared knowledge of denotation and connotation to combine words in amusing ways. Popular semantic games include Mad Libs, Blankety Blank, and Codenames.
Modern Word Games
Game designers have taken advantage of technological advancements to create non-traditional word games for computers or mobile phones. Many of these newer games take advantage of the technology to include more complex rules.
Codenames, Decrypto, and Anomia all have popular digital formats, allowing players to participate on teams while in different physical locations. Modern audiences also eagerly play word games with mobile formats, such as Letterpress, Words with Friends, and Word Connect.
Technology and Word Games
Since Spelling Bee first aired on the BBC in 1938, the first televised game show, word games have been a constant offering on radio and television. Airing continuously since 1975, Wheel of Fortune is the longest-running syndicated game show in the United States.
Wheel of Fortune, early 2006
The popularity (and relative low cost) of word games has led producers to adapt many word games to fit a radio or television format. Some shows revolve entirely around a word game, while others include elements of popular word games mixed in. Shows like Lingo, Says You!, Task Master, Catchphrase, Family Feud, and Only Connect are among the highest-rated shows on television.
Ukranian Wordle, using the Ukranian alphabet
Wordle was the most frequently downloaded game of the year after it was launched in January 2022. Its player base grew to tens of millions worldwide. Players claim it involves a lot of strategy as well as a broad vocabulary.
As of 2022, the annual number of word games app downloads is 1.42 billion. And nearly half of Americans believe that playing word games is a productive way to spend time. With 78.03% of word games app revenue generated in the U.S. ($1.74 billion) players are everywhere! And there are games for virtually every taste, so choose your poison.
Many of these games allow the player to select the language of play. This makes those games an ideal method of practicing vocabulary for people learning a new language. Playing June’s Journey or Drops is a lot more fun than memorizing Spanish flash cards.
To Play Alone or Together?
Several word games suit both sociable and loner players. Games like Scrabble virtually always involve multiple players. Many online games are played alone but players can get comparative stats for others who use the app. Still other games—such as anagrams—can be done informally and alone, but can also be made competitive when multiple people start with the same prompt and there is a time limit.
Today? Yesterday? Every day? Tax Day? If any of the pet peeves that follow tick you off, you’re not alone!
Table Manners
Some people’s table manners can be more easily excused than others
Open mouthed chewers
Slurping
Loud chewers
Slathering food with salt/ hot sauce/ketchup before even tasting it
Cracking gum
People talking with a full mouth
Chewing gum/cracking
Spitting
Talking about what you are eating
Demanding everyone wait and take 500 Instagram photos before eating
Phone Etiquette
Interrupting training with the shogun to answer your phone
Taking phone calls in public
Being on their phone too much
Facetiming without headphones
Staring at their phone rather than watching where they walk
Texting during a meal
Ending a call without saying good-bye
Ignoring an in-person companion in favor of a phone screen
Using speech-to-text in public
Constantly filming in public rather than engaging
All Around the House
Leaving overflowing ashtrays on every table and counter
Leaving the toilet seat up
Singing (badly) in the shower
Leaving empty containers in the fridge
Not replacing the toilet paper
Leaving lights or ceiling fans on
Being loud when someone in the house is trying to sleep
Leaving dirty dishes on counters or in sinks next to the dishwasher
Wearing shoes in the house
Leaving cupboard doors and drawers half open
Not closing bottles or other containers completely
Opening a new container before the old one is empty
Using things without permission, e.g. clothes, accessories, car
Not putting things away (clothes, sandwich-fixings, etc.)
Failing to throw away empty containers
Playing music or watching TV with the volume turned way up
Speaking Politely
Shouting everything they say through a megaphone
Interrupting
Finishing another’s sentences
Talking over one’s conversation partner
Talking too loudly
Turning the topic of every conversation back to oneself
Talking during a movie
Gratuitous swearing
Stopping the conversation to correct someone’s grammar
Talking to someone who is trying to read
Using LOL or OMG during a face-to-face conversation
Constantly talking about a particular obsession (health/diet/exes/etc.)
Saying “like” instead of “said” (I’m like, “Duh!”)
Treating every conversation like a monologue or performance
Any Time, Any Place
Walking three-abreast and blocking the entire sidewalk
Being habitually late
Self-entitled people
Attempting to control everyone and everything
The silent treatment
Encroaching on others’ space, particularly in crowded areas
Clicking a pen
Repetitive tapping
Cracking knuckles
Nose-picking
Mean-spirited gossip
Knee bouncing
Cutting in line
Littering
Unsolicited advice/recommendations
Constant throat clearing/coughing/sniffing
Passing gas or belching
Clipping nails in public
Does it Have to Take All Kinds?
People who leave their shopping carts in the middle of the parking lot
Particular family member(s)
Particular friend/acquaintance/neighbor
Surly servers/salespeople/cashiers
Dog owners who don’t train or pick up after their pet
People who cut in line
Grumpy people venting their bad mood on servers/salespeople/cashiers
Bad drivers
One uppers
Know-it-alls
Strangers (or friends) encroaching on your personal space
People who randomly command you to smile
Strangers calling you Honey or Sweetie
Standing up the minute a plane gets to the gate
Common Pet Peeves
A survey of 544 people conducted by Survey Monkey listed these top fifteen pet peeves at home and at work.
Bedmates who hog the entire bed and all the blankets despite being tiny and having their own fur coat
Leaving common spaces messy (63%)
Colleagues complain about their work and/or specific colleagues (53%)
Manager doesn’t give you credit when it’s deserved (50%)
Neglecting to take out the trash (45%)
Bedmate takes too much of the blanket (39%)
Colleagues show up late to meetings (33%)
Colleagues fail to recognize your contributions (31%)
Talking loudly over the phone (30%)
When a bedmate moves around too much (29%)
Taking food without asking for permission (24%)
Cooking something that smells unpleasant (22%)
Bedmate wakes you up early in the morning (22%)
Bedmate is on their phone or computer late at night (22%)
Playing music loudly (22%)
Occupying the kitchen for a long period of time (20%)
The results indicate that younger people (18-29) and older people (45-60) differ in their peevishness. Which group is more often peeved varied depending on the item.
More Specific Pet Peeves
A similar survey reported on PromoInfoTools found a lot of overlap with Survey Monkey, though some seem to be distinctive. (I’ve shortened or edited some of the answers for the sake of brevity.)
Drivers who don’t use their turn signal
Crunching! Especially on the phone.
People tailgating
People being hypocrites
When people don’t believe what I’m saying is true
People not showing up on time for appointments
People using items and then not putting them back where they found them
Being late for anything
When people do not take responsibility for their actions
When people take what is said at face value and jump to conclusions and judgements without doing their own research for the truth
People not putting their shopping cart back
Feeling unappreciated
Correcting or “cleaning up after” someone else’s mistake(s) or sloppy work
When someone interrupts me when I’m talking to interject what they want to share
When my time is wasted. Take my money, or my material items, but not my time.
People who categorize people by income, position held, school jocks and nerds, etc. We are all human and deserve to be treated as such, not by our categories.
Garbage not emptied when full in kitchen or bathroom(s)
Inconsiderate people
Roadside trash and the people who throw it out their windows
Wasting water
When people don’t make eye contact or acknowledge you when your paths cross
Being lied to and the person thinking they are getting one up on me
Lack of customer service
Being told someone will call back but they never do
Lack of communication
People hitting “reply all” on an e-mail when it should be directed to a specific person
Traffic
When the waiter interrupts my conversation to ask if I want more water
People who don’t get to work on time. It’s disrespectful to your coworkers!
People who can’t “stay in their lane” – Do your job, I’ll do mine
Lack of basic manners! Using please and thank you is all I ask
More people are interested in pet peeves than I ever imagined! If you are interested in a particular category of pet peeves, there’s probably a survey for that. For example…
Bottom Line: Pet peeves are everywhere! It’s important to note: something that’s a minor annoyance—or not at all annoying—for one person is especially irritating for another. Ask yourself if your pet peeves are worth the emotional toll they take. If so, find out how to deal with them. That advice is also available online!
March is one of those in-between months, not really winter and not yet reliably warm. But there are literally hundreds of occasions for celebrating in March so, much to enjoy! Here are some you probably hadn’t considered.
For example, March is Adopt a Rescued Guinea Pig Month. I will abstain, thank you very much, because I have a severe anaphylactic reaction to guinea pig dander. On the other hand, eating guinea pig—as I did in Peru—is perfectly fine. In Peru, guinea pig is a major source of protein, analogous, perhaps, to chicken in the United States.
And there is March 10, when we “spring forward” and set the clocks ahead one hour—as if anyone wants to celebrate “losing” an hour.
Celebrating Days in March
Dress in Blue Day, 3/1 (fundraiser/ awareness for colorectal cancer)
I’m sorry to say, we’ve already passed several great days, but feel free to mark your calendar for next year.
Of course, March has St. Patrick’s day, (3/16) and Easter (3/31 in 2024), but they are so well-known they need no reminders. But if you haven’t already started observing the United Nations’ International Year of Camelids, you can start now. You still have ten months to celebrate llamas, alpacas, camels, dromedaries, vicuñas, etc….!
Bottom Line: There’s always a reason to celebrate in March—or at least to get involved and expand your awareness.