WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?

I’ve been writing a weekly blog for a gazillion years, but this week I struggled to find a topic that engaged me. Why?

It wasn’t a brain freeze. That would be brief: not coming up with the right word, answer, name, etc. A synonym would be drawing a blank: being unable to recall a required piece of information (or failing to find something).

Nor was it Net Brain: this is a syndrome I discovered when I worked at the American Psychological Association. While not an official diagnosis, it’s a handy one: it’s when something just falls out of your consciousness. Examples include missing an appointment (or any commitment). Briefly stated, you forgot.

Could it be a case of Beach Brain? An idle mind, also known as being “out to lunch” (when that isn’t literal). An example would be losing track of a conversation, movie plot, or whose play it is during mah jong.

Writer's Block by Leonid Pasternak
Leonid Pasternack understood my struggle!

My mental wanderings led me to think about other words and phrases we use to summarize disfunction.

FUBAR: f****d up beyond all recovery/remedy/recognition/etc. Also, utterly botched or confused. No, that doesn’t fit my situation; it clearly assumes that something has been done!

Procrastination isn’t apropos, either. I didn’t put off thinking about it, I just couldn’t make progress.

Unfocused? Synonyms for unfocused include muddled, bewildered, dazed, scatterbrained, confused, bemused, senile, negligent. Well, senility could be the root cause, but I refuse to consider it.

Having difficulty making decisions is one symptom of depression, but only one out of dozens of psychological, physical, and social symptoms. So, not depression.

I know of two words for suddenly forgetting something “right on the tip of your tongue” derived from the river Lethe in Greek mythology. If you are suddenly unable to remember a word that you definitely know you know, you are experiencing lethologica. When your brain suddenly refuses to supply the name of a familiar person, that’s lethonomia.

Bottom Line: I don’t know why I struggled so much this week, but I do know the outcome: I’m giving up!

SIBLINGS

My sister visited recently, four wonderful days after several years of not being together. No one else shares our upbringing, relatives, and history. We differ on religion and politics, but she’s my best friend. We understand each other. There’s always love and support between us.

Are we unique? Siblings are as diverse as any other group of people, and surely not all such relationships are wonderful. Jealousy. Spite. Embarrassment. Envy. Competition. Even physical or psychological abuse. But in general?

Having siblings can bring meaningful benefits—shaping relationships, personal growth, and even values. Here are some of the potential benefits, according to research.

Benefits of Siblings

Marx siblings
The Marx Brothers

Learning to Share

Having a sibling almost guarantees you will know how to share, whether willingly or by force. My sister and I shared toys, clothes, and bedrooms. As adults, we still offer each other jewelry, clothes, the starts of perennial plants, etc.

Sharing isn’t only toys and food, though we did that; it’s also time and attention. When there are multiple kids in the family, one child doesn’t monopolize the conversation, which teaches a child to listen as well as talk. Partly because I am the oldest, I had a lot more time with Dad early on while my sister spent more time with Mom.

Companionship and Support

Siblings often provide a lifelong bond, offering emotional support, shared memories, and a sense of belonging. They can be your first friends and confidants. My sister and I confided to each other about our love lives and marital issues.

Author Mary Eberstadt wrote, “Diverse findings show that being accompanied through early life by nonparental contemporaneous others (i.e., siblings) gives children and teenagers a leg up on socialization.”

Conflict Resolution Skills

Growing up with siblings teaches you how to navigate disagreements, compromise, and negotiate—skills that are valuable in all relationships.

Borgia siblings
The Borgia siblings had rather questionable conflict resolution skills.

Empathy and Understanding

Living with siblings helps you develop empathy as you learn to consider others’ perspectives and feelings.

March siblings
Cover of a Spanish translation of Little Women

Shared Responsibilities

Siblings can divide chores, share resources, and help each other with tasks, making daily life easier. This was especially true for us when our mother was ill for several years and I managed the household.

Cost Savings

From sharing clothes to splitting the cost of gifts or vacations, siblings can help reduce financial burdens. We shared clothes as children, vacationed together as adults—especially beach weeks with children—and frequently share the cost of flowers for funerals, decorating our parents’ graves, etc. Cost sharing isn’t a necessity so much as part of our bonds as sisters.

Lifelong Friendship

Many people describe their siblings as their closest friends, even into adulthood—which is how I started this piece.

Caregiving in Later Life

Siblings often support each other in times of need, whether it’s caring for aging parents or helping during tough times. After living in Florida for seventeen years, when my sister’s older husband started failing, she moved them to the town where I lived in Virginia for the explicit purpose of my support.

Sisters Venus and Serena Williams

Healthy Competition

Siblings can motivate you to excel in academics, sports, or other areas by fostering a spirit of healthy competition. Not part of my experience, but consider the Williams sisters’ tennis achievements.

Diversity of Experiences

Growing up with siblings exposes you to different personalities, interests, and perspectives, broadening your worldview.

Jackson 5 siblings
Jackson 5

Shared Family History

Siblings help preserve family traditions, stories, and cultural heritage, creating a sense of continuity and identity. Our recent visit was full of talk, supporting all of those.

Celebrations and Milestones

From holidays to birthdays, siblings make special occasions more joyful and memorable. We attended each other when we married, and still mark significant birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays with gifts, calls, and—too rarely—visits.

Other Siblings’ Relationships

I’m well aware that not all sibling relationships follow this pattern. I was still in elementary school when, realizing that my mother could have no more children, our parents adopted a brother, one month younger than I and in my sister’s class in school.

He and I never developed the closeness I’ve enjoyed with my sister. It may be that not sharing our earliest years was a big factor. It may have been not sharing many activities: he was deep into team sports and our school had none for girls. We also were not in the same classes. I always felt protective of him, and we always got along, but just not the same closeness.

I could go into my husband’s relationships with his siblings, or my daughters’ relationships with each other. Instead, look to your own family and friends.

The Inca War of the Two Brothers, a civil, dynastic war fought between siblings Huáscar and Atahualpa, 1529-1532

Bottom Line: Although it isn’t guaranteed, having siblings offers many potential benefits. Here’s hoping you have enjoyed many of them.

CHILDREN’S PASSIONS

A friend recently mentioned that her niece is obsessed with space and has been excitedly following everything Artemis II she can find. Maybe she’ll become part of the space program someday. Many astronauts have shown a lifelong passion for space, often showing interest in astronomy, space exploration, or science from a young age.

Early Lives of Astronauts

Children's Passions Mercury Seven

Alan Shepard, Gus Grissom, John Glenn, and Wally Schirra are among the Mercury Seven astronauts who were always interested in space. Other notable examples include:

Neil Armstrong: The first person to walk on the Moon, Armstrong was fascinated by flight and space from childhood, inspired by the early days of aviation and space exploration.

Sally Ride: The first American woman in space, she developed an interest in physics and space science early on, inspired by the possibilities of space travel.

Mae Jemison: The first African American woman in space, Jemison was passionate about science and space from an early age, motivated by her love for learning and exploration.

Chris Hadfield: Known for his social media presence from the International Space Station (ISS), Hadfield was inspired by space exploration throughout his life and pursued a career as an astronaut with great enthusiasm.

Yuri Gagarin: The first human in space, Gagarin was drawn to aviation and space as a young man, inspired by the possibilities of human flight.

Common Children’s Passions

It isn’t just space, of course. Children often become passionate about activities that stem from their inherent talents and strengths.

Children's Passions Venus Serena Williams

Running, swimming, biking, team sports, or just playing outside can be a source of excitement and energy for many kids. The Williams sisters began playing tennis at very young ages, with Serena starting around three years old, Venus around age four, coached by their father Richard Williams.

Pretending to be superheroes, explorers, or characters from stories fuels creativity and social skills.

Music and Poetry

Drawing, painting, crafting, music, dance, and storytelling often capture children’s imaginations, allowing them to express themselves and experiment with ideas. Mozart began playing the keyboard and violin and composing music at the age of five.

Cellist Yo Yo Ma began violin lessons at age four and performed Bach Concertos in his first concert at age five at the University of Paris.

British singer Adele developed a passion for voices when she was four years old and published her first track when she was just 17.

Reading and Writing

Books and stories open new worlds and ideas, often igniting a love for reading and learning. Research indicates that reading fiction enhances empathy in children.

The poet Alexander Pope was a child genius, known for translating major works and writing epics in his early teenage years. He was 12 years old when he wrote his first major piece entitled Ode on Solitude. When he was 21 years old, he published Pastorals.

Terry Pratchett started writing as a child and published his first short story in his school magazine at age 13. He was only 15 at the time of his first commercial publication, “Business Rivals.”

S. E. (Susan Eloise) Hinton wrote The Outsiders when she was only 16 years old.

Many young authors can be found online.

Building and Making

Constructing with blocks, LEGO, or other materials sparks passion in kids who enjoy problem-solving and hands-on creation. The LEGO company partners with schools to encourage children’s building passions and STEAM programs.

Kautilya Pandit, an Indian prodigy who demonstrated remarkable engineering skills at a young age, including building models of bridges and other structures. His achievements in engineering concepts at a young age are remarkable.

Science and Biology

Many children are fascinated by animals, plants, and the outdoors. This can include pets, wildlife, insects, and exploring natural environments like parks or gardens.

Charles Darwin showed an early interest in natural history, collecting beetles and other specimens as a child. His curiosity about the natural world grew during his youth, eventually leading to his groundbreaking work on evolution.

From a young age, Jane Goodall was fascinated by animals and Africa. She began observing and studying chimpanzees as a teenager, which developed into her lifelong career in primatology and conservation.

Rachel Carson’s early fascination with marine life led to her influential environmental writings.

Some children develop an early passion for science, asking questions about how things work, conducting simple experiments, or exploring technology. One of my granddaughters put herself to sleep by mentally solving math problems to the base six instead of base ten. Will she become a famous mathematician? It doesn’t matter!

Supporting Children’s Passions

Supporting children’s passions matters—even when it has nothing to do with career achievements.

Encouraging children’s passions nurtures confidence, curiosity, and resilience. It also helps children develop skills aligned with their interests, which can grow into lifelong hobbies or activities.

Nurturing children’s passionate interests is like watering a young seedling, helping it grow into a strong, vibrant tree. And like any tree, it takes time!

Here are some ways to encourage and support children’s enthusiasms.

Create a Supportive Environment

Provide resources: Books, tools, materials, or access to classes related to their interests.

Designate a dedicated space: A cozy corner or area where they can explore freely.

Celebrate curiosity: Show genuine interest and ask questions about what excites them.

Encourage Exploration and Experimentation

Allow freedom: Let children try different activities without pressure to excel immediately.

Value the process over results: Focus on learning and joy rather than just outcomes.

Support mistakes as learning: Help them see failures as stepping stones, not setbacks.

Be an Active Participant

Engage together: Join in their activities occasionally to deepen connection and show support.

Find role models: Introduce them to people or stories that inspire their passion.

Encourage sharing: Help them express their interests through presentations, art, or storytelling.

Balance Passion with Well-being

Respect their pace: Avoid pushing too hard; let their interest evolve naturally.

Encourage social connections: Foster friendships with peers who share similar passions.

Promote diverse experiences: While focusing on passion, encourage trying other activities to develop well-roundedness.

Long-Term Support

Set realistic goals: Help children set achievable steps to deepen their skills.

Provide opportunities: Enroll them in clubs, camps, or competitions aligned with their interests.

Recognize growth: Celebrate milestones and progress to build confidence. By nurturing children’s passions with patience and encouragement, you help cultivate not only skills but also confidence, creativity, and a lifelong love of learning.

Remember that such passions emerge spontaneously, and can be anything. For example

  • Taekwando
  • Ballet
  • Dragons
  • Dinosaurs
  • Construction equipment
  • Etc., etc., etc.

Bottom Line: Children’s passions reflect their natural curiosity, creativity, and desire to explore the world around them. Encouraging them promotes lifelong learning.

DO WE REALLY NEED MORE THERAPISTS?

My Ph.D. is in Experimental Social Psychology. Though I was not a clinician, an article in the print edition of a recent Wall Street Journal grabbed my attention: Where Have All the Male Therapists Gone? (Published online as What Will Happen When All the Male Therapists are Gone? [March 12, 2026]) “… in the mid-1960s, the ratio of men to women in the field was 80 to 20. Today, that ratio has flipped.” (Going forward, any citation from that article will be marked **.) This is a great article, and I suggest you read it if you can.

“The main consequence of the feminization of psychology is the topics that are worked on,” says [Martin] Seligman. “From the 1960s through the 1980s, it was aggression, conflict and trauma, but not love, meaning, friendship or cooperation.” **

Women In Psychological Research

One might see this switch in research focus as “natural” when more women are researchers. In the early 20th Century, mainstream psychological research largely excluded women. When women were included in the research population, their data were interpreted through male-centered perspectives. That is, researchers assumed the male results to be the standard. Early psychology often pathologized women.

The psychology of women emerged as a distinct field and gained momentum during the rise of the feminist movement. Feminists challenged these biases, leading to research focused on women’s experiences, gender roles, identity, and the social and cultural factors affecting women’s mental health.

In 1973 the American Psychological Association (APA) established Division 35, the Society for the Psychology of Women, formalizing the field’s recognition. Since then, the field has expanded to include intersectional perspectives, exploring how race, class, sexuality, and other factors intersect with gender.

Downside for Men

male therapists

Though this change to less violent and more humane research has much to recommend it, Seligman sees less research on therapy and issues for boys and men as a downside. ** While I applaud psychology for—finally—recognizing the distinct experiences and needs of women, the current imbalance is equally regrettable. The male psyche is becoming less the norm than an aberration. According to Mark Kiselica, “They are greatly influenced by models that look at how boys and men are flawed rather than about boys and men are different.” ** It truly is a a reversal of psychology researchers’ bias.

Issues of bias aside, there is strong evidence that men are struggling today. In 2023, suicide rates for men were approximately four times higher than for women. Overall, men account for about 77% of suicides, while women make up about 23%, showing a stark gender difference in suicide mortality.

Roughly 15% of U.S. men aged 21-25 reported a major depressive episode in 2024. “It’s estimated that roughly 1 in 5 men suffer from some form of mental illness—a share that has increased from 13.6% in 2008.” **

Men are significantly less likely than women to seek therapy due to societal expectations, stigma, and perceptions that mental health issues are not “manly.” This may be changing—albeit slowly. “In 2024, 17.3% of men sought some form of counseling up from 8.7% in 2002.” **

Gender Wage Gap

Unintended—though probably not surprising—side effects of women becoming the majority of clinicians include lower pay and less prestige.

When Katherine Johnson was a computer programmer at NASA, it was considered “women’s work” and not well-paid.

Jobs with higher female representation typically pay less, even when requiring similar skill levels. This phenomenon is linked to occupational segregation and undervaluation of “feminine” work. In 2024, women in management, professional, and related occupations earned about 74 cents for every dollar earned by men in similar roles.

Indeed, women earn less than men across occupations, including those dominated by women.

Women earn significantly less than men for the same job. Depending on the source, the average pay gap ranges from 15-24%. Case in point, the recent negotiations for equal pay in the WNBA!

But it’s all relative! Even if male therapists earn more than female therapists, they are less likely to pursue careers in lower-paying professional fields.

But, truly, how important is the dearth of male therapists?

True, men who work in male-dominated fields are more likely to prefer a male therapist who “speaks the same language.” Nevertheless, only 40% of men expressed a gender preference for their therapist, and of those half preferred a woman. **

Clinicians agree that a well-trained therapist can work effectively with both male and female clients. Furthermore, research has found no differences between male and female therapists in their effectiveness or client outcomes.**

Lack of Therapists

So perhaps the real problem is the dearth of therapists overall.

The United States currently faces a significant shortage of therapists and mental health professionals relative to the demand for mental health services. Several factors may be contributing to this need.

Growing Mental Health Awareness
Increasing awareness and reduced stigma around mental health have led more people to seek therapy and counseling.

High Demand vs. Supply Gap
Many regions, especially rural and underserved urban areas, have insufficient numbers of therapists, leading to long wait times and limited access.

Rising Mental Health Challenges
The prevalence of anxiety, depression, PTSD, and other disorders has increased, partly exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic and social stressors.

Workforce Shortages
The mental health workforce is aging, with many professionals nearing retirement and fewer new therapists entering the field than needed.

Insurance and Cost Barriers
Even where therapists exist, cost and insurance coverage can limit access, making the demand for affordable, accessible therapy even more pressing.

Bottom Line: Expanding the mental health workforce with more therapists can improve access, reduce wait times, and support better mental health outcomes.

WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND

It’s everywhere! What was once outdated, a thing of the past, is experiencing a resurgence of popularity. Younger generations are exploring things familiar to their grandparents. The trend seems to be driven by nostalgia and/or a desire to “unplug.”

Food Goes Around and Comes Around

Why the comeback? This trend is rooted in a desire for comfort, authenticity, and sustainability. Many of these dishes are inherently plant-forward, use whole ingredients, and minimize food waste—aligning with modern values of mindful eating.

Nostalgic recipes draw chefs and home cooks with their versatility and affordability, making them perfect for everything from weeknight dinners to festive gatherings. The America We Remember channel on YouTube has many videos explaining nostalgic recipes.

The revival of old-fashioned foods often blends nostalgia with modern twists. Beloved classics are making a comeback, inspired by grandma’s kitchen and retro kitchens alike.

Comforting Casseroles & One-Pot Meals

Many people are reimagining these low-mess meals with healthier ingredients or gourmet touches. Once staples of mid-century dinner tables, these dishes are now celebrated for their simplicity and heartwarming appeal. Home cooks and chefs alike seek to recreate the cozy, soul-satisfying meals of yesteryear.

Other Nostalgic Foods Coming Back

Wedge salad: iceberg lettuce gets respectable again (here because I didn’t want it to stand alone!)

Salisbury steak

Cream-based soups (like Cream of Mushroom or Chicken) are also reappearing on menus

Chili dogs, often elevated with artisanal buns, house-made chili, or organic dairy

Fondue

Retro Desserts with a Modern Twist

Wacky Cake (a Depression-era wonder made without eggs or milk)

Jell-O molds are becoming popular again for their playful, creative potential, which people often feature in themed dinner parties

Chocolate-chip cookies baked from scratch, with bakers experimenting with heirloom recipes and high-quality ingredients

Classic Drinks & Snacks

  • Orange Julius, a mall staple from the ’80s and ’90s, with modern versions blending retro flavors and fresh ingredients
  • Jolt Cola, with “all the sugar and twice the caffeine!”
  • Old Fashioned
  • Negroni
  • Cosmopolitan
    • Bars are reporting increased demand from both older fans reliving their youth and younger generations eager to experience the retro drink.

Vodka-based drinks such as Appletinis and French Martinis are also making a comeback, embraced for their simplicity and versatility.

Food and Wine has named the “Guilty Pleasure” cocktail trend featuring drinks like Cosmos, Lemon Drops, and Lychee Martinis as the 2025 Drink Trend of the Year, reflecting a broader appetite for fun, indulgent, and nostalgic flavors.

Games Go Around and Come Around

Younger generations are re-discovering the excitement of playing games with someone IRL (in real life). A mix of nostalgia, accessibility, and innovation is driving the retro game revival.

Monopoly is the most popular board game, with over 275 million copies sold since 1935. Worldwide, there are over 500 million players. It also holds the Guinness World Record for having the most people playing at once (over 900!). Monopoly’s lowest popularity occurred during World War II when the war effort eliminated metal tokens and disrupted the game’s production in many countries. In 2025, 37% of U.S. consumers reporting playing it. The Pop Culture Hall of Fame inducted Monopoly as a Brand for 2025.

Mahjong is gaining popularity among young people, particularly Gen Z and Millennials, becoming a trendy social activity and a way to build community. Over the past year, interest has surged, partly driven by social media content and a desire to connect in person rather than online. Events like mahjong nights in cities such as San Francisco are drawing young crowds, blending tradition with modern socializing. Even interior designers are noticing the trend, with more requests for mahjong tables in home projects. The game’s nostalgic appeal, especially for young Asian Americans, has also contributed to its rising popularity.

Classic Games Reimagined

Many older games have been re-released with updated components, streamlined rules, or digital integrations, making them more appealing to today’s audiences. Additionally, the rise of board game cafes, streaming platforms, and social media has reintroduced these titles to new generations.

Chess, both as a game and a digital experience, is experiencing a renaissance in 2026, driven by the fusion of AI, esports, and the timeless appeal of strategy. The integration of AI into chess has not only enhanced how players learn and improve but also reignited global interest in the game as a digital sport. Magnus Carlsen, the world-renowned chess champion, has publicly stated that chess is “made for the digital age,” emphasizing its adaptability and relevance in today’s tech-driven world.

Catan (Settlers of Catan), Codenames, Dungeons and Dragons, Ticket to Ride, War of the Ring, Root, Dixit, and Azul are all seeing similar adaptations.

Card Games Going Digital

Card games are experiencing a resurgence, both in digital and physical formats.

Classic card games are benefiting from streamlined interfaces and the ability to play online, making them more appealing to both nostalgic players and younger audiences. Even retro and party-style card games are seeing a revival, blending nostalgia with modern accessibility.

The rise of digital card games is being driven by their convenience and accessibility, allowing players to enjoy quick matches that fit into busy schedules. This trend is reflected in the growing popularity of titles like Pokémon TCG and Hearthstone, which continue to attract new and returning players.

The physical trading card game (TCG) market is thriving, with a projected value of $11.8 billion by 2030, up from $7.8 billion in 2025, signaling robust growth and renewed interest.

This comeback isn’t just about nostalgia—it’s about adaptability. Digital card games, in particular, align with the way people play today, offering bite-sized experiences that fit into modern lifestyles.

Puzzles

Puzzles of all sorts are attracting new fans as a preferred way to unwind and reconnect with tactile, screen-free activities.

Vintage and wooden jigsaw puzzles are making a comeback, especially among seniors, due to their emotional and mental benefits.

Round wooden puzzle designs and 3D puzzles are also gaining popularity in 2025.

Hobbies Go Around and Come Around

This retro movement is often referred to as Granny hobbies. According to an NBC video, as social media fatigue grows among Gen Z, many are turning to “old fashioned” hobbies as a way to disconnect from screens and spend more time offline doing traditional crafts. “Grandma hobby” lovers embrace the homemade: décor, meals, and vintage household items.

  • Fiber arts, from cross-stitch to needlework
  • Gardening
  • Baking from scratch
  • Calligraphy
  • Knitting
  • Gardening and plant care
  • Pottery
  • Canning and preserving

The appeal lies not just in nostalgia but in the tangible joy of creating something with your hands and the mental health benefits of slowing down. Young people are turning to old-school hobbies to get off their phones.

Fashion Goes Around and Comes Around

Processed with VSCO with aga1 preset

According to my reading, fashion is embracing nostalgia in 2026, with vintage styles from the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s leading the trends, but occasionally going back even farther.

Some of the most likely vintage trends include pillbox hats, shell jewelry, tassels, bold animal prints like leopard and tiger, plus vibrant colors such as cobalt blue.

The 1970s are particularly popular, with flared skirts and boho chic.

Trends from the 1980s are reappearing: bold patterns, layered accessories, and statement outerwear. Chocolate brown is a key color, reflecting a broader movement toward rich, earthy tones and expressive designs.

Fashion houses predict that corset tops, especially those from designers like Jean Paul Gaultier, are predicted to be big in 2026. Tassel necklaces and vintage-inspired handbags, such as those from Louis Vuitton, are also expected to be everywhere, offering a touch of retro glamour.

Bottom Line: What’s old is new again!

SEEING RED

Vivian means “likes bright and vivid colors.” And I do, including red, which was my mother’s favorite color. I doubt she was alone here, but in the United States, the top six colors nationally are blue, black, gray, pink, white and green. Why didn’t red make the list?

Perhaps it’s because, in the U.S., the color has so many negative associations. Red is used almost universally in stop signs, alarms, and warnings. It signals alertness and caution, often linked to fire, blood, and emergency.

  • Stop signs
  • Traffic lights
  • Fire Trucks
  • No entry
  • Flammable liquid
  • Biohazard

Warning signs are commonly red because it is associated with danger, is highly visible, and stands out against most backgrounds, ensuring it can be seen from a distance even in poor conditions like fog or smoke. Many poisonous animals have red markings. In humans, exposure to red increases heart rate, raises blood pressure, and heightens alertness.

Symbolism One Step Removed

  • Seeing red. It means being very angry, mad, furious, irate, or enraged. Some synonyms for this phrase include losing your temper, exploding, erupting, losing patience, becoming enraged, or flying into a rage.
    • What about the bullfighter’s red cape, encouraging the bull to attack? Bulls are actually color-blind, but I’d be pretty mad too if someone was shaking a cape in my face and trying to stab me!
  • Then there is red faced. Depending on context, it could mean embarrassment or anger, but neither is pleasant.
  • Red lined: deleted.
  • Being in the red = financial deficit.

But this color is rich with symbolism across cultures, emotions, and contexts. It symbolizes a range of powerful concepts including love, passion, energy, vitality.

Seeing Red Emotions

Energy and Vitality

It symbolizes life force, strength, and physical energy. Its vibrancy grabs attention and can stimulate excitement or action.

Passion and Love

Red is associated with love, desire, and romance. It’s the color of hearts, roses, and Valentine’s Day.

Power and Courage

Mounties on Parade

Think red-blooded. Also, historically, red has symbolized power, leadership, and bravery. Warriors and royalty often wore red to signify status and valor.

Think about the “red coats” during the Revolutionary War, and the Canadian Mounted Police.

Anger and Aggression

The color can also evoke feelings of anger, aggression, or intensity, reflecting the heat of strong emotions.

Seeing Red Around the World

In Hinduism, red is associated with Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth and embodiment of beauty.

Indian Culture

In Indian culture, red symbolizes love, passion, power, fertility, prosperity, and marital bliss, often used in weddings, festivals, and religious ceremonies. Brides often wear red saris, representing love, prosperity, and new beginnings. Red is also used in religious ceremonies and festivals like Holi.

Chinese Culture

In Chinese culture, red is a symbol of good fortune, prosperity, happiness, and celebration, especially during festivals like Lunar New Year. It’s therefore prominent in weddings, festivals, and decorations, believed to ward off evil spirits.

American Traditions

Red is associated with Christmas (red berries, Santa’s suit) symbolizing warmth and festivity. Many opera houses have red seats to convey a sense of opulence. A red carpet also signifies especially formal occasions.

Red Square

Russian Beauty

The ancient Russian word for red and beauty are the same. Even today, Moscow’s Red Square (Красная площадь) would be more accurately translated as Beautiful Square.

African Traditions

In many African cultures, red beads or cloths symbolize life, health, and vitality, but can also represent danger or mourning depending on the context. The Ndembu in Central Africa associate red with life and health, so warriors and sick people wear red paint.

Seeing Red In Art

Red’s symbolism is woven through art, literature, and cultural traditions, carrying meanings that evoke deep emotions and ideas in viewers, readers, and participants—often reflecting the above.

Emotion and Drama

Artists use red to convey intense feelings—love, anger, passion, or violence. For example, in Renaissance paintings, red robes often signify power or sanctity (like in depictions of Christ or saints). Medieval painters often depicted martyrs in red clothing.

Focus and Contrast

Red draws the viewer’s eye, creating focal points or dramatic contrasts. Think of Henri Matisse’s bold use of red to energize his compositions.

The Lute, Henri Matisse (1943)

Symbol of Life and Death

Red can represent blood, vitality, or sacrifice. In Mexican Día de los Muertos art, red flowers symbolize the life force amid remembrance of death.

In Literature

Love and Desire

Red often symbolizes passionate love or temptation. Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet uses red imagery to underscore the intensity and tragedy of young love.

The Scarlet Letter, Hugues Merle (1681)

Violence and Danger

Red can signal bloodshed or conflict. In Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter, the scarlet “A” is a mark of sin and shame but also of identity and resilience.

Rebellion and Revolution

Red is also linked to upheaval and change, as seen in George Orwell’s Animal Farm, where the red flag symbolizes revolution and political power.

Red’s symbolism is a powerful reminder of life’s intensity—from love and celebration to warning and sacrifice. It’s a color that speaks to human experience across time and place.

Sustainable Perspective on Red Symbolism

A more recent interpretation is that red’s connection to blood and fire reminds us of life’s fragility and the importance of protecting natural resources. It can inspire urgent action toward climate and social justice, symbolizing both warning and passionate commitment.

Bottom Line: The effect of red is—totally?—dependent on context and culture.

SIDE EFFECTS OF NAMES

I confess: my interest in names goes back years, and I’ve written about them before. Previous blogs have focused on pen names, aliases, naming history, character names, and a reader’s perception of those names. But this blog has a different focus: work and education.

So, what might people be doing for—or to—their children inadvertently?

Names at School

For good or ill, it starts young. Consider educational institutions.

Race

names perception

Economist David N. Figlio, found that children with names associated with Black communities—like Da’Quan—receive different treatment in school than siblings with stereotypically Caucasian monikers. Furthermore, analyses suggest that the sound and spelling combinations trigger educators’ impressions.

A child with a name like Damarcus was 2% less likely than his brother David to be referred to a program for the gifted—even when both boys had identical test scores. All else being equal, the students with unusual names were also less likely than their conventionally named siblings to be promoted to the next grade. Figlio suggests both tendencies reflect teachers’ lower expectations for those children.

It may not be entirely subjective: districtwide, the uncommonly named children had lower mathematics and reading scores than their traditionally named peers. Could this be a case of self-fulfilling prophecy?

Gender

If you are a boy with a girl’s name, you could be more likely to face school suspension. In Figlio’s 2005 study, boys with names most commonly given to girls misbehaved more in middle school and were more likely to disrupt their peers. He also found that their behavioral problems were linked with increased disciplinary problems and lower test scores.

Personal note: I have an uncle from a large family named Pearl for his mother’s father and brother. He became one of the most successful of his siblings. That may just be an older generation. Or maybe it’s because he went by the nickname Butch!

Popularity and Crime

A 2009 study at Shippensburg University reported a strong relationship between the popularity of one’s first name and juvenile criminal. Regardless of race, young people with unpopular names were more likely to engage in criminal activity. “Adolescents with unpopular names may be more prone to crime because they are treated differently by their peers, making it more difficult for them to form relationships.”

Alternatively, “Juveniles with unpopular names may also act out because they … dislike their names.”

Alphabetically

names perception

And furthermore, according to a study published in the Economics of Education Review, if your last name is closer to the beginning of the alphabet, you could get into a better school. They found that even though students with low-in-the-alphabet last names tended to get higher test scores overall, among the students who applied to universities and were on the margins of getting admitted or not, those with last names that were close to the top of the alphabet were more likely to be admitted. This study was done with Czech students. There are no data indicating that this doesn’t apply in other countries.

Names at Work

Moving into the world of work. Business Insider published an extensive review of relevant research. Here is a summary of their review.

Easy and Common

names perception

If your name is easy to pronounce, people will favor you more—similar to Figlio’s findings, above. In a Marquette University  study, the researchers found evidence that names that were viewed as the least unique were more likable.

In a New York University study , researchers found that people with easier-to-pronounce names often have higher-status positions at work. Adam Alter, psychologist, quoted in Wired : “When we can process a piece of information more easily, when it’s easier to comprehend, we come to like it.”

People with common names were more likely to be hired, and those with rare names were least likely to be hired.

Ethnicity

If you have a white-sounding name, you’re more likely to be successful in your job hunt.

In a study described in The Atlantic, white-sounding names like Emily Walsh and Greg Baker got nearly 50% more callbacks than candidates with black-sounding names like Lakisha Washington and Jamal Jones. Researchers determined that having a white-sounding name is worth as much as eight years of work experience .

Nobility

names perception

If your name sounds noble, you are more likely to work in a high-ranking position.

In a European study, researchers studied German names and ranks within companies. Those with last names such as Kaiser (“emperor”) or König (“king”) were in more managerial positions than those with last names that referred to common occupations, such as Koch (“cook”) or Bauer (“farmer”). This could be the result of associative reasoning, a psychological theory that people automatically link emotions and previous knowledge with similar words or phrases.

Gender

If you are a woman with a gender-neutral name, you may be more likely to succeed in certain fields. In a citation of The Atlantic, in male-dominated fields such as engineering and law, women with gender-neutral names may be more successful. One study found that women with “masculine names” like Leslie, Jan, or Cameron tended to be more successful in legal careers.

Men with shorter first names are overrepresented in the c-suite—i.e., among CEOs, CFOs, COOs, etc. In 2011, LinkedIn analyzed more than 100 million user profiles to find out which names are most associated with the CEO position. The most common names for men were short, often one-syllable names like Bob, Jack, and Bruce. A name specialist speculated that men in power may use nicknames to offer a sense of friendliness and openness. 

On the other hand, the same study found that women at the top are more likely to use their full names. Perhaps women use their full names in an attempt to project professionalism and gravitas.

Middle Initial

Using your middle initial makes people think you’re smarter and more competent. According to research published in the European Journal of Social Psychology, using a middle initial increases people’s perceptions of your intellectual capacity and performance. In one study, students rated an essay whose authors had varying numbers of initials. The one with the most initials, David F.P.R. Clark, received the best reviews.

Social Psychology

The relationship between names and person perception is a fascinating topic in social psychology and communication studies. Here are some brief observations on the subject.

First Impressions and Stereotypes

Names often trigger automatic associations or stereotypes based on cultural, ethnic, or social cues. For example, people might perceive certain names as more traditional, modern, or linked to specific ethnic backgrounds.

These associations can influence initial judgments about a person’s personality, intelligence, socioeconomic status, or even trustworthiness.

names perception

The idea that people often look like their names likely stems from these stereotypes. However, these stereotypes are pervasive enough that tests have shown people are able to match a stranger’s face to the correct name. Researchers theorize that participants are subconsciously responding to social expectations of how a person with a particular name should look.

Name Uniqueness and Individuality

Unique or unusual names can make a person stand out, sometimes positively by signaling creativity or uniqueness, or negatively by causing bias or misunderstanding.

The impact depends on context, culture, and individual differences.

Gender and Age Perceptions

Names often carry gendered and generational signals, influencing expectations about behavior or roles. For instance, people might associate older-sounding names with wisdom or conservatism. On the other hand younger-sounding names might evoke impressions of modernity or innovation.

Why This Matters

Understanding how names influence perception helps us recognize unconscious biases and encourages more equitable and compassionate social interactions. It reminds us that a name, while a simple label, carries complex social meanings that shape human connection.

Overview of Key Findings from Studies on Names and Success in the U.S.

Note: Names correlated with success in the U.S. can vary depending on how “success” is defined—whether by income, education, career achievement, or social status. Research on this topic often relies on data such as income tax records, educational attainment, or professional accomplishments linked to first names.

Studies analyzing tax data and census records have found that certain names correlate with higher average incomes and educational attainment.

A 2011 study by economist Steven Levitt and colleagues analyzed IRS data and found that names like Gregory, Matthew, and Jennifer were among those associated with higher incomes.

  • Names like Emily, Jacob, Michael, Sarah, and Jessica have historically been linked with higher socioeconomic status.
  • Conversely, some names statistically correlate with lower income or education levels, often reflecting systemic inequalities.
  • This is likely because names often reflect cultural, ethnic, and socioeconomic backgrounds, which influence access to resources and opportunities.

Modern Trends

  • Popular names change over time, and correlations can shift with demographic changes.
  • Unique or unusual names sometimes face bias, but this is context-dependent.
  • As society becomes more diverse and inclusive, the correlations of particular names with status may evolve.

Correlation does not prove causation: the findings presented here—these correlations—mean that names tend to vary together with certain other characteristics, behaviors, or outcomes. It is not the same as causation. The name itself does not cause success; it is a proxy for underlying factors like family background, education, and community.

Bottom Line: Names carry deep cultural, personal, and societal meanings, influencing identity, perception, and (often) success.

OMENS

I hope and trust you all made it through Friday, February 13, without anything too dreadful happening. If so, take a deep breath and gird your loins for Friday the 13th in March and November. Forewarned is forearmed.

And to that end, people from ancient times to today have sought portents of the future.

Omens are signs or phenomena believed to predict or indicate future events, often carrying symbolic meaning. Throughout history and across cultures, people have interpreted omens as messages from the spiritual world, nature, or the universe. Many believe these signs can provide guidance in decisions or forewarning of good or bad outcomes.

Common Types of Omens and Their Meanings

Bird Omens

Birds appearing in certain ways or places can be omens, and there are a ton of them. For example, many see a black crow or raven as a bad omen, while a dove often symbolizes peace or good news.

The Yeoman Warders of the Tower of London employ an official Ravenmaster who is responsible for the well-being of the ravens living at the Tower.

For more about any of these omens, visit Bird Spot’s article on common bird superstitions.

Weather Omens

Sudden changes like an unexpected storm or clear skies can be interpreted as omens of change or warning. Several weather omens have been scientifically validated over the years, including the following

  • Red Sky in Morning, Sailors Take Warning; Red Sky at Night, Sailors Delight
    • High pressure systems typically move from west to east, bringing unstable weather and trapping dust particles in the atmosphere, which causes a red sunset.
  • Feeling Bad Weather in Your Bones
  • Using Crickets as Thermometers
  • March Comes in Like a Lion and Goes Out Like a Lamb
Maybe it’ll only be partly cloudy
  • Cows Lying Down Means Wet Weather Is on the Way
  • Clear Moon, Frost Soon
  • Pine Cones Can Predict the Weather
    • Though the number of pinecones does predict the harshness of the coming winter, you can use pine cones to predict weather in another way: watching as they open in sunny weather or close before wet weather.
  • Counting Lightning Flashes and Thunderclaps Can Tell You a Storm’s Distance
  • A Lunar Halo

For more elaboration, see this article on How Stuff Works.

Animal Omens

Seeing certain animals, like snakes or owls, can have specific cultural meanings.

“Aschermittwoch” (“Ash Wednesday”), by Thomas Theodore Heine, from German Simplicissimus illustrated satirical magazine, 1903
  • For example, a black cat in China means good luck! But a black cat in the United States has long been thought to be a bad animal omen, so much so that black cats are the least adopted cat in the shelters.
  • In the U.S., owls are frequently seen as an omen of an impending death or illness in the family.
  • Similarly, buzzards and vultures are regarded as portents of death.
  • The meaning of a deer in your backyard varies but usually means spiritual change or renewal. However, seeing a white deer is a bad omen.
  • Nearly any albino animal is a bad omen. An exception: in contrast to the fear of white animals in the East, the birth of the White Buffalo was a good animal sign from the Great Spirit to the Cheyenne and Sioux tribes.
  • If a rabbit crosses your path from left to right this is bad luck; multiple rabbits in your yard is a sign of fertility.
  • A fox crossing your path is an increase in mental faculties—focus on learning and using your intelligence in tricky situations.
  • Seeing a bear could be a sign that’s time to protect your children and family from an invading illness or intruder; or, it may be time for you to dive into the world of herbalism.
  • When moles show up in Greece, they are bringing messages from the Underworld, from the goddesses of death and transformation, saying a time of great change is ahead.
  • Seeing a coyote (a trickster and a thief) is often a bad omen; the Navajo believed the coyote was associated with “evil magicians” or “witches.”
  • The appearance of an antelope means your ancestor have a message for you, according to the Plains Indians’ beliefs; the sight of an antelope is almost always a good animal sign.
  • Roosters crowing at the back door is a bad omen—yet another portend of death; however, if the rooster crows at your front door you will have visitors before sunset.

Everyday Signs—and Countersigns

Broken mirrors, spilling salt, and opening umbrellas indoors are common omens of misfortune, but not to worry! By keeping your wits about you (and knowing the correct protections), you may be able to avoid a calamity. Some people carry lucky charms for protection against everyday omens of bad luck.

  • If you spill salt, you can toss it into a fire or stove, pour wine into your lap, or throw it over your left shoulder to dispel the bad luck.
  • To avoid bad luck after breaking a mirror, you can spin around three times counterclockwise, bury the pieces at night, or throw salt over your left shoulder.
  • If you’ve mentioned a potential calamity, you might touch iron or knock on wood to dispel the jinx and prevent misfortune.
  • If some people must walk under a ladder, they say a small positive phrase to feel more secure—which can help psychologically.
  • To avoid bad luck if you spill wine, dab the spilled wine behind your ears, as this may transform bad luck into good luck.

Heavenly Omens in the Past

Celestial events such as eclipses, comets, etc., often carried deep symbolic weight, sometimes altering decisions or fueling legends. Famous omens have shaped history by influencing leaders, societies, and pivotal events. Here are a few examples from history.

The Eclipse Before the Battle of Gaugamela (331 BCE)

  • Omen: A solar eclipse occurred before Alexander the Great’s decisive battle against Darius III.
  • Meaning: Some soldiers feared bad luck, but Alexander used it to inspire his troops.
  • Outcome: Alexander won, expanding his empire dramatically.

The Soothsayer’s Warning to Julius Caesar (44 BCE)

  • Omen: “Beware the Ides of March.”
  • Meaning: A Roman soothsayer warned Caesar to be cautious on March 15, 44 BCE.
  • Outcome: Caesar was assassinated on that very day, making this omen legendary as a symbol of fate and ignored warnings.

Even today, people—more or less seriously—tell themselves or others to beware the Ides of March. Although every month has an ides (the 15th of the month, according to Roman calendars), only March makes people think this way.

Interestingly, Suetonius wrote of another omen foretelling Caesar’s assassination. He claimed that a wren carrying a sprig of laurel flew into the Roman Senate on the 14th of March, but a frenzied crowd of other birds followed the wren and tore it to pieces.

Halley’s Comet and the Norman Conquest (1066)

  • Omen: Halley’s Comet appeared in the sky before the Battle of Hastings in 1066.
  • Meaning: Many saw the comet as a bad omen, signaling change and doom.
  • Outcome: William the Conqueror defeated King Harold, leading to the Norman takeover of England.
Halley’s Comet depicted in the Bayeux Tapestry

King Henry’s Eclipse (1133)

  • Omen: Londoners saw a total solar eclipse on August 2, 1133, as contemporary chroniclers recorded.
  • Meaning: William of Malmesbury said that “the sun on that day, at the sixth hour, shrouded his glorious face, as the poets say, in hideous darkness, agitating the hearts of men by an eclipse.” William saw the eclipse as a presage of the king’s death, saying “The providence of God, at that time, bore reference in a wonderful manner to human affairs: for instance, that he should embark, never to return alive.”
  • Outcome: King Henry I of England left for Normandy, which he also ruled. He died there in 1135, having never returned to England.

The Appearance of the “Blood Moon” Before the Fall of Constantinople (1453)

  • Omen: Astronomers saw a red lunar eclipse, called a Blood Moon, before the Ottoman Empire captured Constantinople.
  • Meaning: Many interpreted it as a sign of impending disaster for the Byzantine Empire.
  • Outcome: The city fell, marking a major shift in history.

Columbus’s Bloody Moon (1504)

  • Omen: A red lunar eclipse. Columbus had with him a book of astronomical tables that predicted a lunar eclipse for February 29, 1504.
  • Meaning: Columbus claimed his God was angry with the natives of Jamaica, for denying Columbus’s crew food (which they had done because of months of thievery).
  • Outcome: The indigenous people pleaded with Columbus to restore the moon. He said he would intercede with God. The eclipse passed, and the supplies resumed.

The “Angels of Mons” (1914)

These omens show how natural or mystical signs were woven into human history, often reflecting hope, fear, or destiny—and probably a dollop of coincidence. But they remind us how deeply humans seek meaning in the world around them. For more examples from history, read the Britannica article Nine Celestial Omens.

Bottom Line: The meaning of omens depends on context, culture, and one’s individual beliefs. But even non-believers are aware of many of these omens.

WHAT PEOPLE WILL DO FOR MONEY

It’s the time of year when many—most?—people would like to have a bit more money. Or a lot. Besides taking another job, selling their souls to corporate overlords, hustling for more tips, or panhandling, what are people doing?

There’s Always Selling Something

Lots of people sell online, everything from “pre-owned” clothes to collectibles of all sorts (think depression era glass or carved wooden pigs).

Selling Parts of Yourself

Of course, your first thought would probably be for selling items you’ve found or made. But you might start a bit closer to home.

  • More personally, if you have good hair, you could sell that. Estimates suggest that several million people worldwide participate in hair selling annually, but exact numbers vary. But the human hair market, which includes hair extensions, wigs, and other hair products, is a multi-billion-dollar industry.
  • Really personally, you could sell spare organs.
    • Although selling human organs is illegal in the U.S. and most other countries, some estimates indicate that trafficked organs account for up to 10% of organ transplants performed around the world.
    • Kidneys, lungs, and liver come to mind. Humans can live with one kidney or one lung, and a healthy liver will regenerate from the part remaining after a transplant.
  • Sell your plasma ($150-700/mo according to online sources).
  • Sell sperm to a sperm bank
  • “Rent” your womb as a surrogate mother
  • With no medical intervention, you could sell feet or hand images, posting pictures on sites like Instafeet or Feetify

Turn Trash into Treasure

It’s amazing what people throw away!

  • Haunt the neighborhood on trash collecting day or visit dumps. Salvage sellable items, clean, and resell.
  • If you are artsy/crafty – turn found items into works of art and sell them at local fairs, etc.
  • If you garden, sell plant cuttings, cullings, and seedlings.
  • Collect cans and bottles and sell to a recycling center.
  • Sell cockroaches or crickets to pet stores as food for larger animals.
  • Check the change in your pocket for rare coins that might be worth more than their face value.

Essentially, if you have it, you can (try to) sell it.

Sell Your Services

If you don’t have things to sell, you might be able to sell your time and skills.

Talent Required

  • This time of year, help people decorate for Christmas (or do the whole job).
  • Help with course materials via OneClass
  • Participate in online mock juries
  • Beta test video games, phone apps, and computer programs
  • Act as a Notary Public (for spending cash, it won’t pay your bills)
  • Substitute as a teacher at local schools
  • If you are mechanically inclined, you could hire out your handyman services
  • Create websites for independent businesses or freelancers
  • Be a photographer or videographer for weddings and parties
  • Work temporary gigs for events, such as catering, DJ-ing, set-up and break-down, or security
  • Be a professional hugger
    • In CA and NYC, you could earn over $150/hour!
  • Phone sex operator
  • Model for art classes
  • Referee seasonal sports—if you have the skill and stamina! (And the patience to stand up to upset players or coaches)

Time Required

Even if you feel you have no marketable skills, there are still ways to make a quick buck.

  • Be a “line sitter
    • When there’s a high demand ticketed event, go to the venue and offer to wait in line for someone—for whatever fee the traffic will bear.
  • Take drugs!
    • Participate in paid clinical trials for pharmaceuticals or other treatments. If you’re relatively healthy and not taking med/drugs, you can qualify for some drug trials. You’ll have to review them carefully because some things you just don’t want to mess with while others are relatively similar to drug trials.
  • Volunteer for testing medical devices/smartwatches that measure blood pressure and/or blood oxygen.
    • Each session generally lasts 60-90 minutes, could pay hundreds of dollars, and only requires giving a small amount of blood. Participation is typically limited to 2x per month.
  • Dog/cat/house sitting
    • If you stay at peoples’ houses with their animals, you could be paid more, up to $80/night.
  • Take paid surveys
  • Remove lice from peoples’ heads
  • Move things to/from storage units
  • Garbage can cleaning—or other basic but gross jobs
  • Deliver local magazine monthly (could be $150-250/month)
  • Sign your kids up for research studies (e.g., get paid for letting a researcher watch your kids play)

…Other

And then there are a few options that I just couldn’t categorize:

  • Watch for class-action lawsuits and join when you qualify.
  • Rent out your backyard for campers.
  • Found a new religion and demand tithes from all your new followers.
  • Compete in interesting competitions (eating, writing, shooting basketballs, etc.) for cash prizes.
  • Create community/local nude calendar. Lakeview, OR, did this to raise money for snow removal (Wall Street Journal,12/11/25).
  • Sell tickets to your wedding. (Personally, I’d label this incredibly rude, gross, and financially stupid!) YouTube had a viral posting about a couple who invited 350 people to their wedding at a cost of $333 per person—including family! Only 60 people attended.
  • Closely related: The Wall Street Journal (again,12/9/25) featured an article, The Lavish Weddings Where Crashers Are Welcome—for a Fee. Apparently there is a website that invites tourists (or others) to attend an Indian wedding, $150 for one day, $250 for multi-day celebrations.

Check out this Buzzfeed article for more suggestions and personal stories.

Bottom Line: Where there’s a will, there’s a way! Search online for novel ideas that suit your situation and inclinations.

THE DOWN SIDE OF GIVING

I know it’s counter to the expectations of the season. Besides Giving Tuesday, many organizations (including our local CBS news) are in the midst of a month of giving. Culturally, giving is a good thing. But it isn’t purely positive.

Giving Opens Floodgates

My motivation for writing this blog is the deluge of text messages, emails, and snail mails asking for money. I’m steeped in the downside of giving: once you are on a list, you are doomed.

The organization or cause you originally donated to seeks more frequent and/or bigger donations.

Selling mailing lists can generate lots of revenue. Once an organization has a list of reliable donors, they often sell that list to other entities. Donors are then inundated with with requests for further donations to entirely new organizations!

Donations to political candidates trigger requests from other candidates in the same party. These can come from all over the country. Supporting a candidate at the national level opens you up to solicitations from state and local candidates—not necessarily your own state or locale!

Some solicitations come with a “free gift” to create guilt or an obligation to donate. Often these gifts are of poor quality or completely useless to the recipient. One organization sent me so many free gifts that I doubted how much of my donation was actually going to forward the stated mission. I stopped donating to that group altogether.

Responding to a mail solicitation can trigger follow-up phone calls as well.

Giving ’til It Hurts!

Once, I volunteered my time and professional know-how for a set number of hours on set days per week. That morphed into requests for special events and monetary contributions. I doubt I’m alone in this experience.

I’m currently voluntarily teaching a memoir class a few times per year. Fortunately, I enjoy it. There is considerable social pressure to continue doing so.

When I searched this topic online, I found that giving can have negative effects on the donor, including financial strain and instability, high tax burdens, loss of personal wealth, emotional guilt and anxiety, burnout and compassion fatigue, and neglect of personal relationships, potentially weakening social cohesion and exacerbating inequality if generosity creates donor-recipient hierarchies. In short, I learned that there are more serious drawbacks than the irritation factor that started me down this path.

Further Reading

Here are a few sources you might wish to pursue.

The Other Side of Charity: 10 Shocking Negative Effects of Generosity Unforeseen Consequences of Giving by Richard Wilson

The Dark Side of Being a Giver: Discussing Martyrdom, Low Self-Worth, and Giving to Get by Shoba Sreenivasan and Linda Weinberger, posted March 18, 2019

There’s A Downside To Giving (And It Has Nothing To Do With You) by Darrah Brustein
This article discusses problems giving can do to relationships, and how to avoid them.

Philanthropic Harm: How “Doing Good” Can Go Bad by Michael Moody
This article includes the following sections:

  • Malfeasance, Corruption, Fraud
  • Diversion of Resources
  • Reinforcing the Status Quo
  • Favoring Philanthropists’ Needs Over Recipients’
  • Teleopathy
  • Lack of Transparency
  • Faulty or Inefficient Strategy
  • Faulty or Inefficient Implementation
  • Lack of Measurable Impact
  • Unintended Consequences
  • Short-Term Band-Aids
  • Dependency
  • Paternalism and Cultural Insensitivity
  • Risks for Philanthropists
  • Tainted Donors and Tainted Money

According to Charities Aid Foundation 2024 World Giving Index, 76% of U.S. adults helped a stranger, 61% donated money, and 39% volunteered. This gave the U.S. a World Giving Index Score rank of #6 for 2024 (after Indonesia, Kenya, Singapore, the Republic of Gambia, and Nigeria, and just ahead of Ukraine). In short, there’s a lot of giving out there.

Bottom Line: I’d never suggest that people not give, only urge that they consider the unintended side effects.