Sometimes a writer (and I’m not alone here) starts out to write one thing and something entirely different emerges. My metaphor for this is heading for Maine and ending up in the Bahamas. That’s what happened to this blog. I started out to write TELLING TIME, about using food to set or reveal the time in which the story takes place. What I had in mind was a timeline for foods and cooking equipment.
As many of you know, I collect cookbooks, and have done so for decades. As I pulled relevant references off my shelves, I discovered over a dozen books specifically on the history of food and cooking.
No more than an hour or so into this effort, I realized three things:
Readers might not be as enamored of lists as I am.
The list would go on forever!
Such a blog wouldn’t be helpful in the general scheme of things.
And that’s when I headed for the Bahamas, and turned this blog into a Better Know Your Character effort.
Assuming you don’t want to draw entirely from your own life and experience, there’s a book for that.
You can get food and cooking information for any time period you need, in as much detail as you need, and for virtually any place you need. If you write across time periods and/or locations, one of the books covering a broader range would be a good choice.
Cookbooks for Specific Geographic Needs
By region, for example New England, Northern India, the Balkans
Any state in the US
Virtually any country or territory
Virtually any city
I say virtually here because I don’t have every one. But given that I have books for Paris; Tbilisi; Detroit; Pittsburgh; Los Angeles; Denver; Rochester, NY; and Westminster, MD (to name a few), I’m confident you could find what you need.
During the Civil War, there was a time when there were no pigeons left in the city of Richmond because all had been killed for the table.
Cookbooks by Ethnic Heritage
African American
Native American
Results of mixed heritages
West African and French influences in Cajun cooking
Chinese, Middle Eastern, and Indian influences all along the Silk Road
Any cuisine by country of origin
Everyone has to eat sometime (except alien cyborgs).
What is your character’s attitude toward food?
Cover all three aspects of attitudes: think, feel, do.
What does home cooking mean to your character?
The answer to this question can tell all sorts of things about your character besides ethnicity:
Approximate age
Social class
Family of origin
What is involved in meal preparation?
If your modern character is making a meal, does s/he start with raw ingredients or put a prepared meal in the microwave? Does the answer change if company is coming? Is it a family meal? Do other family members share your character’s attitudes toward food and cooking?
What health concerns does a character address with food?
Many medical conditions are caused by unhealthy eating habits or require dietary adjustments to treat fully. Depending on the diet, this character may have cookbooks addressing the concern, request substitutions when eating out, or be unwilling to eat or cook around others.
Lack of a nutrient, such as calcium, Vitamin D, sodium
Heart disease
Diabetes
Celiac disease
Lactose intolerance
Consider also the possibility of mental health concerns when eating or preparing food. A character with alcoholism, compulsive overeating, bulimia nervosa, etc. would likely display signs of those disorders that might be noticed by others. On the other hand, a character with severe depression, body dysmorphia, or OCD related to food might avoid social situations involving food altogether.
Food is for everyone.
Whether your character lives to eat or eats to live—or is somewhere between the extremes—it’s difficult to write realistically without food coming into play somewhere, sometimes, at least occasionally. Making those mentions specific to your story/character is a big plus.
Bottom line advice to writers: Bring food and/or cooking into your story to add realism, specificity, and richness.
In modern slang, phat is roughly equivalent to excellent. Fat is a loose label that can refer to normal, overweight, obese, or extremely obese—or body parts that the speaker considers overly large. Fat or phat depends on where and when—and whether TV is available.
According to The Body Project at Bradley University, “Although thin bodies are the ideal in America today, this is not always the case in other parts of the world. In some countries larger bodies are actually preferred because they are symbols of wealth, power, and fertility.” Here are their highlights.
Tahiti
In Tahiti, researchers in the 19th century observed chosen men and women engaging in a ritual process called ha’apori, or “fattening.”
Those selected to participate were usually young men and women from the upper echelons of society.
During the fattening process, they would reside in a special home where relatives fed and cared for them so they would grow large, healthy, and attractive.
This ritual is no longer practiced today, but Tahitians still find large bodies attractive. This may be due in part to a diet rich in carbohydrates and coconut milk.
Nauru
In Nauru, large bodies were traditionally associated with beauty and fertility.
Young women were fattened up in preparation for child bearing.
Young men were fattened in preparation for contests of strength.
Fattening rituals had both social and biological benefits.
Feasting brought the community together and helped unite them.
The additional calories given to women of childbearing age increased the likelihood of conception and healthy birth and lactation.
Such fattening rituals ended in the 1920s.
Fiji
In Fiji, larger bodies are symbols of health and connectedness to the community. People who lose a lot of weight or are very thin are regarded with suspicion or pity.
In a 1998 study in Fiji, 54% of obese female respondents said they wanted to maintain their present weight, while 17% of obese women said they hoped to gain weight.
Among overweight (although not obese) women, 72% said they did not wish to change their weight, while 8% of these women hoped to gain weight.
Both overweight and obese women expressed a high level of body satisfaction.
Jamaica
A 1993 study in Jamaica found that plump bodies are considered healthiest and most attractive among rural Jamaicans.
Fat is associated with fertility, kindness, happiness, vitality, and social harmony.
Some Jamaican girls even buy pills designed to increase their appetite and help them gain weight.
Particular emphasis is placed on generous hips and hindquarters.
Weight loss and thinness are considered signs of social neglect.
The body project reports: “In recent times, even many societies that once favored larger bodies seem to be moving toward thinner bodies as the ideal. Why? One factor is that with globalization and the spread of Western media, people around the world are receiving the same message that we do in America: that thin bodies are the most attractive.”
In a landmark 2002 study, researchers reported the effects of the Western mass media on body ideals in Fiji.
When researchers visited one region of Fiji in 1995, they found that broadcast television was not available. In that region, there was only one reported case of anorexia nervosa.
Just three years after the introduction of television, 69% of girls reported dieting to lose weight.
Those whose families owned televisions were three times more likely to have attitudes associated with eating disorders.
Kuwait 52% of Kuwaiti women over 15 are obese. Extra weight was historically seen as a sign of health and wealth. Additionally, the idea of women exercising is a taboo.
American Samoa Anthropologists believe Samoans may have developed a genetic predisposition to store extra calories in fat tissue as a result of millennia of food shortages. Heavy women (and men) are simply the norm and therefore embraced.
South Africa The end of Apartheid did not mean South Africans adopted European size ideals to replace the correlation of weight and wealth. More recently, AIDS has become so prevalent that the societal association between weight loss and illness has contributed to South Africa’s negative view of thinness.
Afghanistan Female fertility is highly associated with excess pounds, particularly among the most traditional nomadic tribes in Afghanistan. Today, burquas conceal most of the body’s shape, but round faces and soft hands are immediate signs of attractiveness.
Mauritania Female obesity is so synonymous with beauty and wealth that young girls are sometimes force-fed if they do not exhibit sufficient appetites. Women often take antihistamines and animal steroids to induce appetite. Exercise is frowned upon, and women are frequently divorced for their inability to sustain excessive girth after childbirth.
Changing Body Ideals
As The Body Project so clearly documented, body ideals are fluid. The changes over time are apparent, most obviously since 1900.
From the Stone Age to the Renaissance, fat was beautiful, thought to reflect both health and wealth. Consider the early Fertility Goddesses (such as Venus, Ishtar, Brigid, Parvati, Hathor, Ashanti Akuba,) as an ideal:
Prior to 1900, in China, the stigma of thinness was so strong that thin people had trouble finding marriage partners. Special bulking diets were consumed to make sure those of marriageable age would be attractive.
Elite pubescent Efik girls (in Nigeria) spent two years in fattening huts, which were exactly what the name implies.
The Tarahumara of Northern Mexico idealized fat legs. Both women and men were considered more attractive or prosperous if obese.
Plus-sized beauty ideals are everywhere in old art. For example, “The Bathers” by Renoir (1887) is typical. Rubens, Titian, Memling, Botticelli, Michelangelo, and their fellow artists were all appreciative of the breadth of their subjects’ forms.
At the turn of the 20th century, Lillian Russell, weighing approximately 200 pounds, was a sex symbol. Women carrying extra weight were considered beautiful and fertile. Overweight men were perceived as powerful. There was even a club just for men who weighed over 200 pounds.
Although during the Roaring Twenties in the U.S. the ideal body for women was “boyish” (flat chest and narrow hips), by the 1950s the ideal female body was significantly heavier than today. (Think Marilyn Monroe.)
Miss America pageant winners
The most beautiful woman, according to different populations.
Degrees of “acceptable” weight vary among cultures, regions, even ethnic groups. A number of studies report that African-American women were less likely than white women to obsess over their weight or to view their body as an enemy. Black women, as well as Hispanic women, didn’t start to express dissatisfaction until they were borderline obese. White women expressed dissatisfaction when they were at the high end of normal/borderline overweight.
From the 1960s to 2020, the ideal body has been some degree of thinness, even as there is a wave of obesity around the world.
Obesity and Physical Health
I won’t dwell on physical health because it’s common knowledge. Obesity is bad for one’s health, increasing the likelihood of diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, cancer, osteoarthritis, infertility, fibroids, gastro-intestinal problems, and sleep disturbances. Recent studies have indicated that overweight patients who become infected with COVID-19 are more likely to develop life-threatening complications.
Stereotypes of Fat People
Numerous surveys have demonstrated that the American public is biased against people who are overweight and obese.
Negative attitudes toward fat people are dominant, pervasive, and difficult to change in both children and adults.
According to the AMA Journal of Ethics, physicians hold numerous biases. “A survey involving a nationally representative sample of primary care physicians revealed that, not only did more than half of respondents think that patients who are obese were awkward and unattractive, but more than 50 percent believed that they would be noncompliant with treatment. One-third thought of them as “weak-willed” and “lazy.”
Another study found that as patients’ weight increased, physicians reported having less patience, less faith in patients’ ability to comply with treatment, and less desire to help them. Other studies have added to the evidence that bias against patients who are obese is common in health care settings.”
These findings are particularly scary in light of the relationship between obesity and health problems summarized above—and in light of the fact that the majority of Americans are overweight or obese.
Fat people are thought to have no willpower, no self-control. Although expected to be good humored and laid back, they are also thought to be gluttons.
Tess Holliday (left) was mocked for wearing this dress on the red carpet. Several other (thin) celebrities were admired for wearing the same dress.
Anyone can identify prejudices held by people in general, and the media—particularly TV—exacerbate the problem. Greenberg et al. reported on their findings of television actors’ BMI after analyzing 5 episodes of the top 10 prime time shows.
In comparing television actors’ BMI to that of the American public, they found that only 25 percent of men on television were overweight or obese, compared to almost 60 percent of American men.
Almost 90 percent of women on TV were at or below normal weight, compared to less than 50 percent of American women.
Korean pop stars (such as Xiumin from EXO) are held to absurd body weight standards, often being forced by managers and publicists to remain in a perpetual state of malnourishment.
Popular television shows that include people who are obese portray them as comedic, lonely, or freaks (think Mike and Molly). Rarely if ever are they romantic leads, successful lawyers or doctors, or action stars.
In addition, The Biggest Loser promotes the perception that obesity is caused by individual failure rather than a mixture of individual, environment, and genetic sources.
Miscellaneous negative attributions
Rejected
Lazy
Slow
Sick
Low self-confidence
Indeterminate attributions
Hungry
Quiet
Shy
Although the negative attitudes are predominant, some positive traits are attributed to fat people
Happy
Sweet
Playful
Intelligent
Honest
Likely to fulfill promises
Kind
Generous
Fat and Employment
Male Body Ideals Through History
Negative attributions (see above) make employment particularly difficult for people who have some extra pounds.
Fat people have a harder time finding employment
Even when employed, fat people earn less than their thinner counterparts for the same job
They are less likely to be promoted
They get smaller raises
They’re more likely to be thought to be slacking off
Fat and Mental Health
Even Plus-Size Models are photo-shopped to be nearly unrecognizable. Karizza Photographer
In a nutshell, the more overweight a person is, the more likely that person is to have mental health problems.
Partly it’s because people incorporate the negative stereotypes held by society.
This, in turn, can cause-isolation-poor body image
Low self-esteem
Depression
Anxiety
Bulimia or anorexia
Some people are totally comfortable in their bodies, not caring what anyone thinks.
Women in general react more strongly than men to negative comments and the lack of positive comments. Overweight women are much more likely to be hurt by criticism of their bodies than overweight men are.
Bottom line for writers: Whatever the body type of characters, make a conscious decision on whether to draw on stereotypes or go against them.
Spinster? Life-long bachelor? Being dead is no excuse for not getting married. If you are dead and looking for love, there is a dating website for you! Check out: http://www.ghostsingles.com/(I am not affiliated in any way with this website; please do not perceive this as an endorsement for necrogamy.)
Ghost marriage (a.k.a. spirit marriage or necrogamy) has been practiced in some form in various cultures around the world for millennia. The first records appeared in Chinese legends more than 2000 years ago and has been part of the culture ever since. Although the practice was less common in China in the late 1960s, during the Cultural Revolution, it’s made a comeback.
Reasons for marrying the dead vary among cultures and in different time periods, but there are a few recurring themes. The examples listed in this blog are not comprehensive, but the motives could easily be applied in many fictional scenarios.
Appeasing the spirits of those already dead
Fulfilling an agreement made before one or both parties died
Maintaining social decorum
Ensuring the legitimacy of children and inheritance rights
CHINA
Ghost weddings are most common in China. Minghun is, essentially ghost marriage in which the bride and/or groom is dead and has not left behind a widow(er). A Chinese ghost marriage is usually set up by family members. The preferred ghost spouse is recently deceased.
Ancestor Tablets
Writers note: Because, in China, men outnumber women in death as in life, ghost brides can be big business. At least two cases have been reported (2007 and 2013) in which men killed more than a dozen prostitutes, housekeepers, and mentally ill women and sold the bodies to undertakers for about $2000. The undertakers then sold them to prospective “in-laws” for $5000.
An engaged couple from Taipei were posthumously married despite having died together in a landslide
But why would dead people marry? In China, and among the Chinese in Taiwan and Singapore, ghost marriage ceremonies are performed primarily to appease unhappy ghosts and to maintain social order or stability. The importance of marriage in Chinese society means that the ghosts of those who die unmarried are assumed to be unhappy and can wreck havoc on the birth family, the family of its betrothed (if engaged), and the married sisters of the ghost. This can take the form of any misfortune—financial setback, illness, etc.
Benefits for Women
Spinsters can gain social acceptance and cease being an “embarrassment” to their families (by being old spinsters at age 20!)
An unmarried daughter must gain a patrilineage so she can have a spirit tablet. With a tablet, the husband’s family will honor and care for her spirit after death.
Living unmarried women are not allowed to remain in the family home, nor are they allowed to die there.
A living woman marrying a ghost husband lives with his family, participates in the funeral ritual, abides by the mourning customs regarding dress and behavior, and takes a vow of celibacy. She also cares for her husband’s aging relatives.
For some women, particularly during the nineteenth century, marrying a ghost was their ideal social arrangements. A rising class of silk merchants, primarily comprised of women, were not eager to give up their independence and relative freedom by being tied to a husband. Being married to a respectable ghost would provide such a woman with the social protection of marriage without the hassle of raising a family. For more details, check out Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert, a fascinating look at the history of marriage.
Benefits for Men
Dead sons were honored by giving them living brides.
The practice ensured the family line and name would continue. The groom’s family could adopt a grandson, usually a son of a male relative, who behaved as a son and inherited his deceased “father’s” share of the family wealth.
The groom’s mother would have a daughter-in-law to wait on her and care for the house.
It was considered unlucky and sometimes shameful for a younger brother to be married before an older one (even if the older brother was dead.)
Finding a suitable spouse is a varied business. Sometimes it involves a marriage broker who finds a family with a recently dead member who has a favorable horoscope. Some families use a priest as a matchmaker. Some families approach an undertaker/funeral director.
Paper offerings of money and luxuries are burned at ghost wedding to provide the married couple comfort in the afterlife.
Sometimes the family assumes that the ghost will identify his or her preferred spouse. The potential bride or groom will reveal him or herself. A restless ghost may also express a desire to be married by appearing in a family member’s dream or while being channeled through a spirit medium during a séance.
Financial arrangements also vary. Often there is an exchange of bride wealth and/or dowries between the two families, but more often paper representations of wealth are exchanged. Houses, cars, servants, food, and furniture are all burned in offering to the deceased. (Often, money made to be burned will have “Bank of Heaven” printed on one side and “Bank of Hell” printed on the other. Wherever the happy couple wind up, they’ll have plenty of spending power!)
Ghost Wedding from 1922
A ghost marriage ceremony is as similar as possible to a regular marriage ceremony, but with the dead person(s) represented by manikins made of cloth, bamboo, wood, and/or paper. The bride and groom wear real clothes but costume jewelry. A living groom would wear black gloves instead of white. The effigies are typically treated as though alive—being ‘fed,” talked to, and moved from place to place—until after all the festivities, when they are burned, and the bride’s ancestral tablet is added to the groom’s family’s tablets. If the bride and groom were engaged before he died, the groom is often represented on the wedding day by a white rooster.
Lantern Offerings for the Festival of Hungry Ghosts
JAPAN
Some regions of Japan, particularly the northern islands and Okinawa Prefecture, have a very long tradition of posthumous marriage, probably because of centuries of Chinese influence. Here, again, the reason relates to the placing of spirit tablets and continued honoring of ancestors.
The main factor distinguishing Japanese ghost marriage from its Chinese counterpart is the type of spouses married to ghosts. A deceased person is not married to another dead person, nor to a living one, but to a doll. The most common ghost marriage is between a ghost man and a bride doll, but posthumous weddings can go the other way, with a ghost bride marrying a groom doll. During a Japanese doll wedding ceremony, a photo of the dead man or woman is placed in a glass case alongside the doll to represent their union. The tableau stays in place for up to 30 years, at which point the deceased’s spirit is considered to have passed into the next realm. The symbolic companionship is designed to keep the ghost husband or wife calm and prevent supernatural harm from coming to the living family.
Persons who die early harbor resentment toward the living. Denied the sexual and emotional fulfillment of marriage and procreation, they often seek to torment their more fortunate living relatives through illness, financial misfortune, or spirit possession. Spirit marriage, allowing a ritual completion of the life cycle, placates the dead spirit and turns its malevolent attention away from the living.
KOREA
Throughout the Korean Peninsula, it used to be customary for a person to marry the soul of a betrothed who died before the wedding. The living spouse would then remain celibate for the rest of his/her life. Currently that tradition is not binding.
SOUTH KOREA
Modern law in South Korea allows posthumous marriage in cases where one member of an engaged couple dies because, according Unification Church beliefs, only married couple can enter the highest levels of heaven. Another reason for postmortem marriages is—again—if the prospective bride is pregnant.
INDIA
In Kasargod, India, children are often engaged to be married at a very young age. If the children pass away before they are old enough to marry, their families may hold in a Pretha Kalyanam. After consulting an astrologer, the two families will hold a traditional Hindu wedding ceremony with dolls in place of the bride and groom. The dolls are dressed in traditional wedding clothes, horoscopes are matched, and a wedding feast is served to guests.
After the ceremony, the dolls are buried under a sacred tree, submerged in a lake or river, or burned in a ceremonial pyre.
FRANCE
Etienne Cardiles posthumously married his civil partner Xavier Jugelé after Jugelé was killed in a terrorist attack by ISIL
Posthumous or Postmortem Marriage is a legal form of marriage which originated in the 1950s. The story behind the addition begins with a disaster: on December 2, 1959, the Malpasset Dam just north of the French Riviera collapsed, unleashing a furious wall of water that killed 423 people. When then president Charles de Gaulle visited the devastated site, a bereaved woman, Irène Jodard, pleaded to be allowed to marry her dead fiancé. On December 31, French parliament passed the law permitting posthumous marriage.
The President of the Republic may, for grave reasons, authorize the celebration of the marriage where one of the future spouses died after completion of official formalities indicating unequivocally his or her consent. In this case, the effect of marriage dated back to the day preceding the death of the husband. However, this marriage does not entail any right of intestate succession for the benefit of the surviving spouse and no matrimonial property is deemed to have existed between spouses.
Ways to legally show intent include having posted an official wedding announcement at the local courthouse and written permission from a soldier’s commanding officer. Grave reasons include the birth of a child, and to legitimize children is a primary reason for such marriages. If the couple had planned to marry and the family of the deceased approves, the local official sends the application back to the President.
Writers note: One quarter of the applications for posthumous marriage are rejected.
During the ceremony, the living spouse stands next to a picture of the deceased fiancé. Instead of the deceased’s marriage vows, the mayor conducting the ceremony reads the presidential decree.
Magaly Jaskiewicz’s posthumous marriage to Jonathan George in 2009
Money: The law does not allow the living spouse to claim any of the deceased spouse’s property or money. No matrimonial property is considered to have existed. However, the living spouse is considered a widow for purpose of receiving pension and insurance benefits.
Pro or con: A posthumous marriage bring the surviving spouse into the family of the deceased spouse, which can create an alliance and/or emotional satisfaction—or the opposite! The surviving spouse is also subject to the impediments of marriage that result.
GERMANY
Charlotte Kaletta and Fritz Pfeffer
The German government did not allow Jews and non-Jews to marry under the 1935 Nazi Nuremberg Laws. Charlotte Kaletta and Fritz Pfeffer lived together without marriage. In 1950, Charlotte married Fritz posthumously, with a retrospective wedding date of May 31, 1937.
SUDAN
Within the Nuer ethnic group of southern Sudan, ghost marriage happens in a very particular way. “If a man dies without male heirs, a kinsman frequently marries a wife to the dead man’s name,” writes Alice Singer in Marriage Payments and the Exchange of People. “The genitor [biological father] then behaves socially like the husband, but the ghost is considered the pater [legal father].”
Manyok bride
This arrangement, Levirate marriage, is conducted in order to secure both the property and ongoing lineage of the dead man. The woman receives a payment at the time of the ghost marriage—a fee known as the brideprice—which may include “bloodwealth” money from those responsible for the death of the man as well as payment in the form of cattle that once belonged to the deceased man. The Dinka (Jieng) and Nuer tribes of Southern Sudan most commonly practice this form of ghost marriage. Women will also marry a deceased man so they can retain their wealth and property instead of losing it to a living husband.
Dinka wedding celebrations
The term Levirate is a derivative of the Latin word levir meaning “husband’s brother.” Instances of Levirate marriage have also been documented in Judaism, Islam, Scythia, Central Asia and Xiongnu, Kirghiz, Indonesia, Somalia, Cameroon, Nigeria, Kenya, South Africa, South Sudan, Zimbabwe and England.
THE UNITED STATES does not legally recognize ghost marriages.
Bottom line for writers: Marrying dead people is rife with possibilities for tension, romance, murder, and conflict. Real-life examples are often tragic. Wikipedia has a list of posthumous marriage in fiction—TV, film, and novels. Feel free to go for it, even if you will not be the first!
Thai woman married her fiance at his funeral
Filipino man married the body of his fiancee
Vietnamese man who lost his fiancee going through part of his marriage vows
Malay bride died of breast cancer days before the wedding
When writers write about kissing, it’s almost always in the spirit of Klimt: love, passion, romance, sexual attraction, sexual activity, and/or sexual arousal. These kisses are often described in great detail: lips, tongue, involuntary reactions like breath and pulse, all taste, and smell. The reader is told whether it’s tender or demanding, hard or seeking, along with related sensations of hair, hands, body positions, and eye contact.
FYI, Kissing is the second most common form of physical intimacy among U.S. adolescents (after hand-holding). About 85% of 15-16-year-old have experience kissing. (At least, they say they do; one of the only things worse for a 15-16 year old to be caught doing than lieing on an anonymous survey is being shown to have less experience than their peers in any kind of sexual activity or exploration.)
Affection
Affectionate kisses are presented very differently. While not denying that affection can be a part of romantic/sexual kissing, it often has no erotic component at all. Although seldom mouth-to-mouth, affectionate kisses are much broader, and can express loyal affection, gratitude, compassion, sympathy, joy, or sorrow.
Affectionate kisses are common among family members, especially parents and children, and others who are “like family.” These are often cheek kisses accompanied by hugs. But affectionate kisses typically are not described with the sensory detail of erotic kisses. It is as if, given the context (of wedding, funeral, leave taking, illness, etc.) the act itself says it all.
Consider the possibilities of sensory description of affectionate kisses. A great-aunt’s overly strong perfume and clouds of fine, white hair obscuring vision as she leans in for a slightly whiskery kiss at a funeral. An exuberant friend hugging hard enough to squeeze breath out or lift someone off their feet entirely while smacking loud kisses on the cheek. A young child inadvertently pulling hair or scratching while pressing slobbery, banana-scented open-mouthed smears of affection to the face.
Pro-forma kisses of friendship are common in Northern Africa, the U.S., Europe, and South America as a ritualistic form of salutation. Though occasionally given on the hand, most pro-forma kisses are on the cheek (or in the air next to the cheek). Think French cheek-kissing or Russian back-pounding hug accompanied by multiple kisses on both cheeks. Such kissing is very culture bound. The “rules” are different for every occasion in every society.
Joseph Stalin kissing pilot Vasily Molokov in congratulations, 1937
The Socialist Fraternal Kiss is a complicated bit of political theater, usually involving multiple kisses on the cheeks and lips combined with back-slapping and hand-shaking. Originally, it was a sign that all members of society should greet each other as equals rather than subjects kissing the hands or feet of a ruler. After World War II, the custom spread from Russia to Communist areas of Eastern Europe, Asia, and Cuba. The duration and intensity of the greeting kiss largely depended on the global standing of the country involved and the number of cameras in the area.
The Meeting at the Golden Gate by Giotto di Bondone
The Holy Kiss was an important part of early Christian ceremonies. Apostles were instructed to ‘salute one another with a holy kiss’ in several books of the New Testament, including St. Paul’s letters. This was later replaced with a handshake in Catholic services; in these days of COVID-19, congregants are encouraged to wave over the internet.
The Oceanic Kiss is not technically a kiss but is common in many cultures where actual kissing is not commonly practiced. Both parties approach and pass each other with their mouths slightly open but do not touch. Sniffing may be involved, so avoid the onions in these cultures.
Ritual
Ritual kissing has a long and varied history. Here again, the sensory detail is usually nil. Perhaps dwelling on the specific smell of feet or trying hard not to think of how many lips have rubbed that ring before yours.
Religion: kissing a temple floor, a religious book or icon. It conveys devotion, but also indicate subordination, or respect. Examples include kissing the Pope’s ring, or the foot of someone to show total subservience.
Joan of Arc Kissing the Sword of Deliverance by Dante Gabriel Rossetti
The kiss of peace: while part of religious ritual, it was also long a tradition to signify reconciliation between enemies.
Pope Francis greeting Holocaust survivors
The kiss of death: a signal from the leader of a group that the receiver of a kiss on the cheek is marked for execution.
The Godfather, Part II
Learning to Kiss
Contrary to common belief, kissing does not “come naturally.” Although some anthropologists hold that kissing is instinctual and intuitive, evolving from suckling or pre-mastication—and others maintain that kissing evolved from tasting the saliva of a potential mate to determine health—these are contradicted by societies where kissing was unknown prior to exposure to Europeans. These include indigenous people of Australia, the Tahitians, and many tribes in Africa.
Some people learn a little later than others. from The 40 Year Old Virgin
Perhaps the most convincing—and entertaining—evidence is when infants and young children are taught how to kiss. Starting with the wide-mouthed cheek lick. They are taught who to kiss, where, and when it is an appropriate occasion for kissing, with plenty of hilarious trial and error. These vary widely across cultures and time periods.
The Lovotics Kissenger, a cell phone attachment that allows people to kiss while on opposite sides of the planet!
Kissing doesn’t happen in approximately 10% of the world’s population. Some believe it is dirty. Others have superstitious reasons, as in the mouth is the portal to the soul, so kissing can allow one’s soul to be taken and invites death. Some cultures see kissing purely as a form of greeting or a sign of platonic affection rather than being associated with sex at all. Researchers at the University of Nevada have found that societies near the equator are less likely to equate kissing with romance than with affection or greeting.
Health Benefits of Kissing
There’s a moratorium on a lot of kissing just now because it can transmit some infectious diseases (COVID-19 as the newest, mononucleosis and herpes simplex, to name a couple of oldies). But overall, kissing is good for one’s health.
Maybe it’s just safer to blow kisses.
Kissing stimulates the production of feel-good hormones such as endorphins and dopamine. Regular kissing protects against depression and stress. Married or cohabiting couples who increased their frequency of kissing reported less stress, and increase in relationship satisfaction, and—wait for it!—lower cholesterol levels.
Another possible meaning of the Kiss of Death is an infection of the herpes simplex virus in infants. An infected person kissing a newborn can easily pass the virus on, sometimes proving fatal to the baby.
However kissing got started, it’s been around for a long time. Kissing is believed to have originated and spread from India. The earliest documentation of kissing comes from Sanskrit scriptures important to Hinduism, Buddhism, and Jainism, around 3,500 years ago. It is present in Sumerian and ancient Egyptian love poetry, in both the Old and New Testaments of the Bible.
Romans had separate words for kissing the hand or cheek (osculum), kissing relatives on the lips with closed mouth (basium), and passionate kissing (suavium). The French have at least 5 nouns for a kiss and at least 10 verbs for to kiss, depending on the sort of kiss being referenced. There are at least 12 German words for kiss. Using the wrong word for the occasion in any of these languages can lead to very embarrassing linguistic
This blog has just skimmed the surface, raising things a writer might want to consider whenever kissing is part of a scene—or could be. If you are truly intrigued, check out The Kiss and its History, by Kristoffer Nyrop.
Bottom Line for Writers: the types and meanings of kisses are nearly infinite. Enrich your writing by giving each kiss the level of sensory details usually reserved for erotic kisses.
Surprise, surprise: the answer isn’t as straightforward as it might first seem. I’m pleased to share with you Douglas S. Jones’ thoughts on the matter.
Doug Jones is well known in local writing groups and has taught dozens of students in the Richmond area. Full disclosure: Doug taught and mentored me for years! I especially appreciate Doug sharing his thoughts on what makes writing poetic because, as many of you know, I don’t “do” poetry.
Is it poetic?
When asked to define poetry, I thought: This is my punishment for not writing a dissertation.
Webster’s New Universal Unabridged Dictionarydefines poem as “1) a composition in verse, especially one that is characterized by a highly developed artistic form and by the use of heightened language and rhythm to express an intensely imaginative interpretation of the subject.” This sounds like what my high school English teachers probably taught me. But then–rather like graduate school–the second and third definitions contradict and deconstruct the first: “2) a composition that, though not in verse, is characterized by great beauty or expression; 3) something having qualities that are suggestive of or likened to those of poetry: Marcel, that chicken cacciatore was an absolute poem.” So a poem is a composition in verse; a poem is a composition not in verse; chicken cacciatore is a poem (when Marcel makes it).
The same dictionary defines poetry as “1) the art of rhythmical composition, written or spoken, for exciting pleasure by beautiful, imaginative, or elevated thoughts; 2) literary work in metrical form, verse; 3) prose with poetic qualities; 4) poetic qualities however manifested; 5) poetic spirit or feeling; 6) something suggestive of or likened to poetry: the pure poetry of a beautiful view on a clear day.” So poetry is different from prose, except when it is prose; it is written in verse, except when it is not; it is qualities or spirit or feeling or a beautiful view on a clear day.
I won’t bother listing the eighteen definitions of composition, or the fifteen definitions of verse. But I do think it’s worth noting that the word “verse” can be stretched in service of both “poetry” and “metrical composition distinguished from poetry because of its inferior quality [my emphasis].” It may be “one of the lines of a poem” or (rarely) “a line of prose.” And verse and composition are both related to structure and music–elements which I suspect have more to do with what poetry is than beauty or elevated thought.
I turned from definitions to word origins. A poem is “something created,” John Ayto writes in his Dictionary of Word Origins. “The word comes via Old French poeme and Latin poema from Greek poema”–which comes from poiesis, “making.” Writers may enjoy poetic license, bring characters to poetic justice, and aspire to become poet laureate. The latter also comes to us from Greece: when Apollo fell in love with Daphne (the daughter of a river) and tried to seize her, she escaped by turning into a laurel tree–which thereafter was sacred to Apollo. “The god ordered that laurel be the prize for poets and victors,” Robert Hendrickson writes in his Encyclopedia of Word and Phrase Origins, “this leading to the belief that laurel leaves communicated the spirit of poetry (the ancients put laurel leaves under their pillows to acquire inspiration while they slept).”
The notion of a “spirit” of poetry raises questions. Among them: Does a poem possess or suggest spirit more or other than that of the poet? Is poetry–as Samuel Coleridge famously suggested–“the best words in the best order”? If so, why should this apply only to poetry? Shouldn’t the same be equally true of good prose?
Lyric poetry is a form of verbal materialism, an art of language, but it is much more than “the best words in the best order.” It is language fulfilling itself, language compressed and raised to its highest power. Language in action against time, against death. There are times when I am awestruck by the way that poems incarnate the spirit–the spirits–and strike the bedrock of being.
Other times I am struck by how little the poem has to go on, how inadequate its means. For what does the writer have but some black markings on a blank page to imagine a world? Hence these lines from the splendid Florentine poet Cuido Cavalanti–
Noi sian triste penne isbigottite le cesoiuzze e’l coltellin dolente.
We are the poor, bewildered quills, the little scissors, and the grieving penknife.
In his preface to Obra poetica, Jorge Luis Borges writes “the taste of the apple … lies in the contact of the fruit with the palate, not in the fruit itself; in a similar way (I would say) poetry lies in the meeting of the poem and reader, not in the lines of symbols printed on the pages of a book.” Poetry is interactive. Reading a poem completes it, like closing an electrical circuit. Although we can return and refer to it on the page, I think of poetry as fugitive. While you are reading it (or hearing it read) it travels through time and space. Consider the following:
Detail
I was watching a robin fly after a finch–the smaller bird chirping with excitement, the bigger, its breast blazing, silent in light-winged earnest chase–when, out of nowhere over the chimneys and the shivering front gardens, flashes a sparrowhawk headlong, a light brown burn scorching the air from which it simply plucks like a ripe fruit the stopped robin, whose two or three cheeps of terminal surprise twinkle in the silence closing over the empty street when the birds have gone about their own business, and I began to understand how a poem can happen: you have your eye on a small elusive detail, pursuing its music, when a terrible truth strikes and your heart cries out, being carried off.
Eamon Grennan
The poem flies: we follow it from bird to bird to “terminal surprise.” It begins not with the abstract, but the specific–and the accumulation of specific details is what makes the poem ring true. There is movement in every line: watching, chirping, blazing, shivering, scorching. Even nouns and adjectives move: “a light brown burn/ scorching the air,” “the stopped robin” (my emphasis). The “I” observing the bird becomes the “you” with “your eye on a small elusive detail.” Then the reader becomes both poet and bird, observing and observed: “a terrible truth/ strikes, and your heart cries out, being carried off” (my emphasis). In the end we have not only read or heard the poem: we have in a sense experienced it, flown with and been snatched away by it. The poet meanwhile is self-effacing, claiming only to have begun “to understand/ how a poem can happen.” The poem happens–it is an event, shared between speaker and listener. As Robert Frost notes: “Like a piece of ice on a hot stove the poem must ride on its own melting.”
Hirsch continues:
Poetry alerts us to what is deepest in ourselves–it arouses a spiritual desire which it also gratifies. It attains what it avows. But it can only do so with the reader’s imaginative collaboration and even complicity. The writer creates through words a felt world which only the reader can vivify and internalize. Writing is embodiment. Reading is contact.
We can teach poetry by reading poems, reading poets, and reading what they write about what they do: from Aristotle’s Poetics and Horace’s Ars Poetica to Alexander Pope’s “Essay on Criticism”; from Wordsworth’s Prelude to Kenneth Koch’s “The Art of Poetry.”
And of course we can also teach poetry by encouraging students to write poetry of their own, to experiment with form, to write poems “in the style of”–and by helping them to find their subjects. Towards this last goal, consider the following from Kim Addonizio and Dorianne Laux, authors of The Poet’s Companion:
We’ve been told again and again to write about what we know, but we don’t trust that advice…. John Keats wrote to a nightingale, an urn, a season. Simple, everyday things he knew. Walt Whitman described the stars, a live oak, a field. Elizabeth Bishop wrote about catching a fish, Wallace Stevens about a Sunday morning, William Carlos Williams about a young housewife and a red wheelbarrow. They began with what they knew, what was at hand, what shimmered around them in the ordinary world….
The trick is to find out what we know, challenge what we know, own what we know, and then give it away in language: I love my brother, I hate winter, I always lose my keys. You have to know and describe your brother so well he becomes everybody’s brother, to evoke the hatred of winter so passionately that we all begin to feel the chill, to lose your keys so memorably we begin to connect that action to all our losses, to our desires, to our fears of death. Good writing works from a simple premise: your experience is not yours alone, but in some sense a metaphor for everyone’s.
In the end, I think poetry communicates something like Whitman’s barbaric yawp. We are, in fact, not alone on the planet. The ordinary world is, in fact, extraordinary. The spoken word is not how we compare ourselves out of community or fraternity or sorority or society, but rather how we find our place within. As Appalachian poet Charles Boyd writes:
As you are reading this–now, in the same moment— I am writing it.
Touchstones
Aristotle: Poetics.
Horace: Ars Poetica.
Barthes, Roland: The Pleasure of the Text.
Bloom, Harold: Agon: Towards a Theory of Revisionism.
Brooks, Cleanth: The Well Wrought Urn: Studies in the Structure of Poetry.
Calvino, Italo: Six Memos for the Next Millenium.
Frye, Northrop: Anatomy of Criticism.
Heidegger, Martin: Poetry, Language, Thought.
Mill, John Stuart: Dissertations and Discussions.
Pascal, Blaise: Pensees.
Plato: Collected Dialogues.
Santayana, George: Essays in Literary Criticism.
Sapir, Edward: Language: An Introduction to the Study of Speech.
Wimsatt, W. K.: The Verbal Icon: Studies in the Meaning of Poetry.
Zumthor, Paul: Oral Poetry: An Introduction.
Douglas Jones has written and seen produced more than forty plays and screenplays, including the musical Bojangles (music by Tony Award-winning composer Charles Strouse, lyrics by Academy Award-winning Sammy Cahn), The Turn of The Screw, and his award-winning Songs from Bedlam–which Backstage declared “a triumph,” and D.C.’s Studio Theatre said “achieves a rare and magnificent balance between brutal reality and sublime fantasy.” His docudrama 1607: A Nation Takes Root plays daily at the Jamestown Settlement & Yorktown Victory Center.
He was awarded the Virginia Commission for the Arts Playwriting Grant in 2006, the Martha Hill Newell Playwrights Award in 2015, and the Emyl Jenkins Award for Promoting Writing and Education in 2016. He teaches memoir, playwriting, and other classes at the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts and The Visual Arts Center, and is a member of The Dramatists Guild. He lives in Richmond with his wife actress Harriett Traylor.
Which is to say, there is more than one way to say just about anything. Idioms, slang, and dialect vary greatly by geographic location and by time, so they can be a great way to ground a character in a particular time and place. Here, for your enjoyment and inspiration, are some variations on common concepts.
Drunk
Commode-hugging drunk
Inebriated
Intoxicated
Buzzed
Blitzed
High
Knee-walkin’ drunk
Commode-hugging drunk
Boozed up
Feeling no pain
Plastered
Ploughed
Bladdered
Liquored up
Under the influence
Seeing double
Wall-eyed
Goggled
Sloshed
Stewed
Pickled
Battered
Blotto
Pissed
Three sheets to the wind
Drinks like a fish
Lit up like a Christmas tree
Drunk as a skunk
Pissed as a newt
Tight as a tick
Rat-arsed
Legless
Under the table
Bend an elbow
In the bag
In his/her cups
On Liquorpond Street
Away with the fairies
Have a load on
Well oiled
Lush
Worse for wear
Off the wagon
So drunk he opened his shirt collar to piss
Evil/Mean
Covidiot
Devil
Scum bucket
Sinner
The second half of saints and sinners
Troublemaker
Villain
Benighted
Snake in the grass
Back-biting
Oxygen thief
Lower than a snake’s belly (in a wagon rut)
Sonofabitch
Abbreviated piece of nothing
Farging icehole
Frigidity/Arousal/Sex (Female)
Amazons
Colder than a witch’s tit
Cold fish
Like making love to a corpse
Enough to make a man choose celibacy
Built like a brick shit-house
Body to die for
Man magnet
Everyman’s wet dream
Wanton
On the pull
Always ready to ride
Just call her Eveready
Get a bit of sugar stick
Make a sausage sandwich
Give juice for jelly
Little Miss Roundheels
Celing Inspector
MILF/ GILF
No better than she should be
She’ll put out for anything in pants
She’s had more pricks than a secondhand dartboard
Scarlet woman
Cougar
Cure for an Irish toothache
Go like a herd of turtles
Impotence/Arousal/Sex (Male)
Bro or Dude-bro
Can’t get it up/ can’t keep it up
Wilts like cut flowers in the sun
Drained away like an ice cube in the desert
Get a hard on
Get his rocks off
Carrying a woody
Hung like a prize bull
Butter her buns
Put his little hat on
He’s a regular Energizer Bunny
Manwhore
Roacher
Rake
Lounge lizard
Beau-nasty
Dipping his wick
Jumping her bones
Doing a little front-door work
Ring her bells/chimes
On the make
Jesuit boxer
Punk
Gym rat
Tosser
He’d fuck anything with a hole in
He gets more ass than a toilet seat
All mouth and no trousers
Incompetent
Not the sharpest tool in the shed/ brightest crayon in the box
All foam, no beer
Doesn’t have all her cornflakes in one box
All the cheese slid off his cracker
Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel
Can’t find his ass with both hands
Her sewing machine is out of thread
Receiver is off the hook
Skylight leaks a little
Not up to XXX
Not cut out for XXX
Out to lunch
Just doesn’t have it
Can’t walk and chew gum at the same time
He would fuck-up a wet dream
Not able to hit the ground with his hat
Batting zero
One step forward, three steps back
Lazy
Permanently set to “Stand-By”
Layabout
Do-nothing
Shiftless
Slow as molasses in January
Doesn’t have the gumption God gave a turnip
His get up and go has got up and gone
Too lazy to scratch an itch
Wouldn’t even scratch his ass if he could get someone else to do it for him
Laggard
Goldbrick
Freeloader
Sponger
He counts sawing logs as working
Mentally Unbalanced
Coocoo for Cocoa Puffs
Insane
Bonkers
Crazy
Berserker
Cracked
Lunatic
Deranged
Mad as a hatter
Nut case/job
Fruitcake
Potty
Psycho
Mental
Unglued
Batty
Bats in the belfry/attic
Looney (Tunes)
Has a screw loose
Sees the world slant/sideways
Has his/her own reality
Stupid
The lights are on, but nobody’s home.
World’s only living brain donor
Musclebound between the ears
Not enough brains to give himself a headache
Not the sharpest tool in the shed
A few clowns short of a circus
A few fries short of a Happy Meal
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity
A few beers short of a six-pack
Dumber than a box of rocks
A few peas short of a casserole
Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt
The wheel’s spinning but the hamster’s dead
One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl
Sharp as a corner on a round table
One taco short of a combination plate
A few feathers short of a whole duck
Warning: objects in mirror are dumber than they appear
Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel
Fell out of the Stupid Tree and hit every branch on the way down
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools
As smart as bait
His chimney’s blocked
She’s so dumb she thinks her bottom is just to sit on
Elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor
Forgot to pay his brain bill
Antenna doesn’t pick up all the channels
His belt doesn’t go through all the loops
If he had another brain, it would be lonely
Missing a few buttons on her remote control
No grain in the silo
Proof that evolution CAN go backwards
Several nuts short of a full bar
Surfing in Nebraska
Slinky’s kinked
Too much yardage between the goalposts
One of her dogs has slipped the leash
Dead from the neck up
Only 50 cards in his deck
Ugly
A face like the south end of a horse walking north
A face only a mother could love
A face not even a mother could love
Should have been drowned at birth
As for how s/he looks, s/he has a great personality
Homely
Ill-favored
Not much to look at
As attractive as hairs on a mole
Beaten with an ugly stick
Doesn’t need a mask for halloween
A face that could crack mirrors
Face that could scare the walking dead
“If my dog was as ugly as he is, I’d shave his butt and walk him backward!”
The Bard is a very useful friend to those looking for creative insults.
For more feline desquamation alternatives, browse through variations of slang used in countries where English is spoken around the world. Some of my favorites are Irish, Scottish, Jamaican, Kiwi, Australian, South African, and New York English. (Yes, New York English deserves a separate listing.) If you really want be specific about a character’s background, consider idioms and slang distinct to a particularregion within a country.
Bottom line for writers: fresh phrases or clichés, take your pick.
The Lost Generation is a term sometimes used for the post-World War I generation overall, but more frequently it refers to a group of American writers who became adults during or shortly after World War I. They established their literary reputations in the 1920s and 1930s. In France, these writers were sometimes referred to as Génération du feu, the “(gun)fire generation.”
Gertrude Stein is credited for coining the term Lost Generation, but Ernest Hemingway made it widely known. According to Hemingway’s A Moveable Feast (1964), Stein had heard it used by a garage owner in France, who dismissively referred to the younger generation as a “génération perdue.” In conversation with Hemingway, she turned that label on him and declared, “You are all a lost generation.” He used her remark as an epigraph to The Sun Also Rises (1926), a novel that captures the attitudes of a hard-drinking, fast-living set of disillusioned young expatriates in postwar Paris.
The generation was “lost” in the sense that it dismissed the values of the older generation no longer relevant in the postwar world. Though the change in artistic expression took place in many creative outlets and focused in several regions, the “Lost Generation” is generally used to refer in particular to American writers living in Paris between the World Wars. Many of these authors felt an alienation from a United States that, under Pres. Warren G. Harding’s “back to normalcy” policy, seemed to these writers to be hopelessly provincial, materialistic, and emotionally barren.
The First World War was the first time in history that chemicals and machines capable of inflicting mass carnage were widely used. Instead of charges and sorties like “The Charge of the Light Brigade,” infantry soldiers in trench warfare spent weeks at a time in close quarters with the bodies of their former allies, following futile battle strategies designed for previous wars and weapons. Having seen pointless death on such a huge scale, many lost faith in traditional values like courage, patriotism, and masculinity. Some in turn became aimless, reckless, and focused on material wealth, unable to believe in abstract ideals.
Otto Dix’s “Dead Sentry in the Trenches” (Toter Sappenposten) 1924 looks a bit different from the invulnerable heroes in official government posters.
Everything that was traditionally structured or confining was stripped, allowing artists of all sorts to build new styles. Composers wrote without the usual chord progressions and cadences; they experimented with new types of ensembles or juxtaposed odd instruments. Dancers took off their pointe shoes and combined ballet with folk styles from India and South America. Women cut their hair short and loosened their corsets.
In 1920, F. Scott Fitzgerald had a big year: he published his debut novel, This Side of Paradise, his first collection of short fiction, Flappers and Philosophers and his story “Bernice Bobs Her Hair” was published in The Saturday Evening Post that May.
Kate O’Connor (Lost Generation by Kate O’Connor, licensed as Creative Commons BY-NC-SA (2.0 UK) identified three themes of Lost Generation work. I quote her here.
Decadence – Consider the lavish parties of James Gatsby in Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby or those thrown by the characters in his Tales of the Jazz Age. Recall the aimless traveling, drinking, and parties of the circles of expatriates in Hemingway’s The Sun Also Rises and A Moveable Feast. With ideals shattered so thoroughly by the war, for many, hedonism was the result. Lost Generation writers revealed the sordid nature of the shallow, frivolous lives of the young and independently wealthy in the aftermath of the war.
Costumes designed by Salvador Dali for the ballet Mysteria
Gender roles and Impotence – Faced with the destruction of the chivalric notions of warfare as a glamorous calling for a young man, a serious blow was dealt to traditional gender roles and images of masculinity. In The Sun Also Rises, the narrator, Jake, literally is impotent as a result of a war wound, and instead it is his female love Brett who acts the man, manipulating sexual partners and taking charge of their lives. Think also of T. S. Eliot’s poem The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, and Prufrock’s inability to declare his love to the unnamed recipient.
Idealised past – Rather than face the horrors of warfare, many worked to create an idealised but unattainable image of the past, a glossy image with no bearing in reality. The best example is in Gatsby’s idealisation of Daisy, his inability to see her as she truly is, and the closing lines to the novel after all its death and disappointment: “Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eludes us then, but that’s no matter- to-morrow we will run faster, stretch our arms farther… And one fine morning— So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”
From the television adaptation of Parade’s End by Ford Maddox Ford
Kirk Curnutt, author of several books about the Lost Generation writers suggested that they were expressing mythologized versions of their own lives.
In an interview for The Hemingway Project, Curnutt said: “They were convinced they were the products of a generational breach, and they wanted to capture the experience of newness in the world around them. As such, they tended to write about alienation, unstable mores like drinking, divorce, sex, and different varieties of unconventional self-identities like gender-bending.”
Bottom line for writers: it’s been 100 years, but their work shouldn’t be lost. There’s a lot of good stuff here. Find yourself a Lost Generation writer to enjoy.
Knowing things about one’s character(s)—even things that never make it onto the page—will keep those imaginary people in character, consistent, well-rounded, and flexible so that new plot twists and turns don’t leave the reader feeling like an entirely new person has been introduced.
A worldwide pandemic is definitely an unexpected turn (unless your character is a historical tracking epidemiologist)! And rich with complexities. For the sake of better knowing your character(s), consider what the current pandemic would reveal. Remember that traits revealed by current events can be applied by authors to characters dealing with any historical, fantastical, futuristic, or imaginary setting.
Masks
This isn’t as singular as it first seems. What is your character’s attitude/ behavior regarding masks? And why? Here are several possible choices. The Why is up to you!
Refuses categorically
Complies reluctantly
Will wear only when visiting nursing homes or vulnerable family
Embraces masks a good thing
Sees masks as just another opportunity to accessorize
What do your character’s masks look like? What quality or grade? Would your character confront someone about wearing/not wearing a mask?
Social Distancing
Easy or difficult for your character?
Ignores physical distance
Meticulously maintains a 6’ distance
Social distances in public places only
Feels safe being closer when outdoors
Hugs and kisses family
Hand Cleaning
Pays no particular attention, i.e., washes when hands feel/look dirty
Cleans hands when entering or leaving a building
Sets up a hand washing/sanitizing schedule, e.g., every hour
Preference for soap and water or sanitizer?
Safer at Home
Does not leave residence at all; everything is distance communication and delivery
Goes out only for medical reasons and food
Travels locally in own vehicle
Travels locally in someone else’s vehicle, just driver and character in back seat passenger side
Comfortable traveling by taxi, bus, train, or plane with appropriate precautions
Travel whenever and wherever, damn the consequences
Alone or Together
Does your character live alone? Is that a good thing or bad?
Does your character alone get lonely?
Does your character living with others experience increased tension and conflict? With partner and/or children.
What if your character’s friend/loved one dies?
How would your character handle home schooling?
(If s/he has no children, consider a distance learning tutor or a character educating him/herself via online resources.)
Crowds
Avoids them like the plague (pun intended)
Braves them only for a “good cause” such as civil rights demonstration
Would go to a family reunion
Would address a crowded room for work reasons
Happy to party down
Work
Would your character be able to work from home?
Is your character an essential worker?
Could/would your character be furloughed?
Is your character a business owner, responsible for others?
Would your character’s workplace be shut down?
Would money/loss of income be a problem for your character?
With But Not of COVID-19
Name Changing
Would your character have a singular or varied response, depending on what’s being renamed? Consider the timing and speed of public opinion shift in the setting: immediately renaming provinces, shops, schools, and cities per government mandate during China’s Cultural Revolution versus the gradual shift of the capital of Kazakhstan from Astana to Nur-Sultan.
Rename schools, named for Confederate “heroes”
e.g., Stonewall Jackson Middle School, Washington and Lee University
Rename roadways, bridges, etc.
e.g., Lee-Davis Highway
Rename Washington Redskins team
Rename towns/cities
Public Memorials, Symbols
Confederate flag, paintings, statues displayed on public property.
Leave them alone. It’s history.
Leave them, but provide context.
Remove them to Civil War battlefields or museums.
Remove and destroy.
Bottom line for writers: Remember that you are describing your character(s), not yourself. The “why” is important. Did you learn anything about your character(s)?
And you don’t have to take my word for it. Whole books have been written on the subject!
But in case you don’t want to read three books—or even one—here are some highlights.
Undergarments
Bras
Underwire bras can kill you by acting as conductor if you are struck by lightning. Not likely, but possible. On the other hand, underwires digging into your body is common, and can be painful, cause skin irritation, even bruising.
Regularly wearing a push-up or padded bras, on the other hand, constantly pull the breast against gravity and put pressure on the delicate tissues of the lower breast. If these tissues separate from the main body tissues, it causes sagging.
Ill-fitting bras, especially for the well-endowed, can lead to pain in the neck, shoulders, back, and chest. Research by Rouillon on women 18-35 showed that women who did not wear bras developed more muscle tissue to provide natural support. Hmm… One study in 1991 suggested that premenopausal women who went bra-less had half the risk of breast cancer.
Thongs/ G-Strings
To avoid another embarrassment, remember that UNDERwear is meant to be worn UNDER.
Thong panties increases the likelihood of getting urinary tract infections. Thongs that have a tendency to slide forward transfer bacteria to the genitals. And these panties have been linked to the development of hemorrhoids. (To avoid embarrassing confusion, remember that “thongs” in Australia are flip-flop shoes. Scanty panties are called “G-strings.”)
Boxers or Briefs?
In 2018, NPR reported on research that showed that men who wear tight-fitting briefs had sperm counts 17% lower than boxer wearers. This is probably an effect of heat: men’s testicles hanging below the torso stay cooler by 4-6 degrees. By extension, should men who want to father children wear no pants at all? Kilts or kimonos?
Corsets
Available in Maternity and Children’s Sizes!
“Corset” probably brings to mind the lace-up garment of the 1890s, in ads that claimed they could reduce a 27-inch waist to 18 inches. The resulting displacement of internal organs caused constipation and weakened a woman’s back muscles, sometimes to the point of being unable to remain upright without the support of the corset.
Cathie Jung had a 15 inch waist after years of corset training. She eventually had to sleep in a corset to prevent her spine from snapping.
This style of corsets today are mostly relegated to dress-up, sex play, or limited to occasional use.
A modern version would be shape wear. When worn daily, it puts unwanted and unnecessary pressure on internal organs, resulting in acid reflux because of pressure on the stomach, and possible nerve damage by constricting your sides and thighs.
As an interesting historical side note, both lace-up and compression corsets have been marketed to men as well as women.
Petticoats and Slips
Even back then, people thought they were silly.
In addition to trying to shrink their waists, American and European women wore big cage-like devices under their skirts to make their waists look even smaller. The hoop skirt (aka, a cage crinoline) was made of a fabric petticoat with channels to hold thin strips of wood, whalebone, or other stiffenings, and a tie to secure it at the waist.
The bigger the hoop, the more it inhibited women’s mobility. In addition, they were very flammable, making them particularly dangerous around candles, lanterns, fireplaces, and all those other commonly burning things found in the average 19th Century household. In England in the 1860s, as many as 300 women a year died this way.
Bathing Suits
By exposing large amounts of skin to sunlight, a bathing suit can contribute to some types of skin cancers.
For women, the lack of support in bathing suit tops can contribute to the same problems as ill-fitting bras.
Sitting around in a wet bathing suit for hours on end may lead to a yeast infection or UTI, plus anything associated with bacteria in the water.
Advice: change out of wet suits ASAP and use plenty of sunscreen. Swimsuits with long sleeves or pants provide better sun protection but increase the risk of fabric filled with bacteria.
Yoga Pants
For all that they are comfortable and versatile, yoga pants are susceptible to all the problems listed for compression clothing. You might get chaffing from running, inflamed hair follicles (from bacteria) or ingrown hairs (from compression), as well as fungal infections.
Shoes
High Shoes
High heels misalign one’s posture, often leading to long-term damage to knees, spine, hips, and leg muscles. They also increase the risk of tripping, falling, and rolling one’s ankles, sometimes with fatal results. Wearing designer shoes (e.g., Jimmy Choo, Manolo Blahnik, or Christian Lououtin) that cost a fortune still inhibit a woman’s mobility.
Chopines
In 16th century Italy, aristocratic women wore tall platforms called chopines, made of wood, covered in leather, and decorated. The women were essentially walking on short, fat, stilts and unable to move freely. But then, there were few occasions for them to go out, unless it was to display the wealth of the family.
Tengu Geta
British wooden pattens
Similar footwear has been worn for practical or ornamental purposes in many areas. Variations of Japanese geta kept fancy aristocrats and peasant farmers out of mud and snow. Sudanese Nuba wooden sandals, Dutch klompen, Korean namakshin, Cantabrian Spanish albarcas, and British pattens were all variations of risers worn over or clipped to the shoe.
Platform shoes are still with us.
Low Shoes
Flip-flops have been linked to foot, ankle, and knee pain. In addition, the exposed foot is vulnerable to falling objects, getting stepped on or rolled over, an well as tripping or hitting one’s toes into whatever is around.
Crocs, rubber slip-on shoes, are very popular at the moment but with their own dangers. According to the Consumer Product Safety Commission, nearly 200 wearers (mostly kids) have been injured when their Crocs were snagged between the moving treads of an escalator.
Flat shoes that don’t offer proper support can cause abnormalities in how one walks and runs.
Small Shoes
Marathon Feet
Shoes that are too small in any way are likely to cause discomfort, even if only worn briefly. Wearing shoes that are too small for extended periods of time can cause serious damage to feet. Marathon runners are advised to buy shoes one to one-and-a-half sizes larger than normal to account for swelling caused by hours of pounding the pavement. Not doing so is likely to cause ingrown toenails, lost toenails, cysts on top of the foot, and nerve damage in the toes and arches.
Pointy-toe shoes harm feet by squeezing and molding the foot into an unnatural shape. They distort individual toes, and swelling between toes three and four can pinch a nerve most painfully.
Pointe shoes
Kabuki dancer wearing tabi
Dancers frequently suffer foot problems caused by shoes. Some dancers deliberately wear shoes slightly too small to allow for better grip with the floor or so the material conforms better to the shape of the foot. Tabi (somewhere between shoes and socks) worn by traditional Japanese dancers and ghillies (soft shoes) worn by Irish dancers are often worn a half size too small. Ballet pointe shoes, no matter how well fitted, force the foot into a cramped position while dancers balance their entire weight on their toes.
Bleeding through your socks is always a good sign
The Chinese practice of foot-binding is the most extreme example of shoes mangling women’s feet. Lotus feet were highly valued. For one thing it denoted wealth: the woman didn’t have to work in the fields and/or being carried everywhere implied she would always be rich enough for such service. Walking at all involved a sway of the hips that was thought to be sexy.
No toddlers were harmed in the making of this image. This is a display from the Foot-Binding Museum in Wuzhen.
Foot binding began in infancy or toddlerhood. It was painful at best, and if the feet became infected, could cause septic shock. The last factory producing lotus shoes didn’t close until 1999.
Accessories
Jewelry
Big, heavy earrings may lead to inadvertently stretching or tearing one’s earlobes. They can get hooked onto objects or clothing, and even tear the earlobe.
Nickel allergy rash
Chunky, heavy necklaces and chains put pressure on your neck, back, and chest.
Oversized bracelets can cause wrist, arm, hand, and finger pain. Avoid nickel, found in many pieces of clothing and accessories: it is the cause of one of the most common allergic reactions. Stick with stainless steel, silver, gold, or platinum, depending on your taste and budget.
Hats
Not the proper way to wear a helmet
Wearing a hat per se probably doesn’t cause hair loss, but any tight headgear could break hair follicles, creating bald patches known as friction alopecia. Wearing a hat while sweating can irritate your scalp.
Nothing says high fashion like a boat on your head.
In 1600s France, aristocratic women wore a “pouf,” something between a hat and a hairstyle. Elaborate piles of flowers, feather, ribbons, gauze, or whatever. At least one woman died when her enormously tall pouf hit a candle in a chandelier and caught fire.
Not exactly a hat, but a headpiece nonetheless, in the 1800s men shaved their heads and wore perukes. The lice lived in the wig rather than on the body, and the wig could be sent to the wigmaker to be boiled and deloused.
Neckware
Isadora Duncan, shown here before her scarf got caught in the wheel of her car. The after-photos aren’t quite so graceful.
Wearing scares may lead to strangulation, either intentional or accidental. (Think Isadora Duncan.) Thirty-five people a year are choked to death by their own scarves.
Edwardian dandies
Around the turn of the 20th century, men wore stiffly starched collars that were nicknamed “father killers.” They were so high and stiffly starched that if a man passed out wearing one, it would cut of his air supply.
Neckties are to men what scarves are to women, only less so: ten deaths per year are attributable to neckties.
Bags
On the other hand, a heavy purse can be very useful for beating up neo-Nazis, as photographer Hans Runesson showed in 1985. Beware the wrath of little old Polish grandmothers with very heavy handbags!
Heavy shoulder bags, handbags, and purses are typically carried on the same shoulder or arm, causing neck, shoulder, and back pain as well as throwing the body out of balance, forcing the other side to compensate, leading to all-over discomfort.
Heavy backpacks without a waist strap and book bags can also cause neck, shoulder, and back strain, as well as long-term damage to one’s posture. Advice: lighten the load!
General Hazards in Clothing
Skin-tight clothing —everything from skinny jeans to shape wear and compression clothing—has been linked to all sorts of health problems: heartburn/acid reflux, testicular damage, and compartment syndrome (in which pressure builds up in constricted muscles, potentially life-threatening), and nerve damage. Such clothes can cause tingling in and numbness in feet and legs.
Any clothing that is excessively large presents a danger. A train on a skirt can be caught under bystanders’ feet, wrapped around wheels, or snagged by anything on the ground. Trailing sleeves have a tendency to knock things over or catch any open flames. Extra padding anywhere can put uneven weight on the body or cause the wearer to bump into things. Trouser legs or skirts that are too long are a tripping hazard. Tails always seem to have a tendency to be caught in doors.
Fabrics (including shoes) that don’t breathe often cause general discomfort, as well as dermatitis and fungal overgrowth (e.g., athlete’s foot). Stiff fabrics or scratchy ornamentation can cause chafing and abrasions.
Chemicals in Clothing
Skin is the largest organ of the body, and it’s capable of absorbing substances—not only from skincare products and makeup, but also from clothing. Chemicals absorbed through the skin go into the blood stream, which has access to all the internal organs.
This isn’t the woman in the story. This is Jenny Buckleff, a bride who made quite an entrance at her wedding. (Don’t worry: everyone survived for the reception.)
Warning: the following story is disgusting on many levels. A woman bought a black dress at an upscale shop in Fredericksburg, but returned it a few days later. Another woman bought the dress, and developed such serious health problems that she nearly died. It turns out that the first woman’s mother had died and the black dress was put on her for her viewing. It was thoroughly contaminated with formaldehyde. Formaldehyde and p-Phenylenediamide (in black clothing and leather dies) are in the products of 14 big-brand clothing manufacturers.
Daldykan River in Siberia after an apparent chemical leak from a textile factory
Formaldehyde—used to prevent mildew growth and inhibit wrinkling—is particularly harmful, and the U.S. does not restrict its use. (Sri Lanka and China two of the worst offenders, and major sources of inexpensive clothing.) Formaldehyde has been linked to an increase in lung cancer, difficulty breathing, and itchy eyes/nose/throat.
Side effects run from mild dermatitis to disruption of the endocrine system to cancer. However, different chemicals can affect different organs.
Green dye, made with lead and mixed with arsenic
The U.S. doesn’t require disclosure of any of the chemicals used during production even though, according to Emma Loewe of MindBodyGreen, (How Worried Should You Be About Chemicals in Your Clothes), “…by some estimates there are upward of 250 ‘restricted substances’ used in textile manufacturing that pose potential health concerns.’”
Avoid Being Poisoned by Your Clothes
Be especially careful of irritating or poisonous chemicals in children’s clothing.
Because synthetics carry a heavier load of harmful chemicals, necessary to produce them, choose organic, natural fibers such as cotton, linen, jute, silk, and hemp.
Also avoid clothing labeled flame retardant or as wrinkle, stain, odor, or water resistant because these effects are achieved through chemical additives.
If you need synthetics, choose brands that use “rPet” or recycled polyester (e.g., Adidas and Athleta do this).
Choose clothes colored with natural dyes. If you don’t know, go for lighter colors, which contain less dye.
Wash before wearing to remove any surface chemicals picked up during packaging and shipping.
If you notice any kind of reaction to your clothing, discontinue wearing and consult a medical professional as warranted.
And last but not least: don’t wear anything that makes you feel self-conscious or nervous just because it is “in.”
Writers Note: Surely at least some of your characters make hazardous clothing choices!
A cunning murderer who makes it look like an accidental suffocation or poisoning
An advocate on behalf of someone who has suffered long-term effects of harmful dyes or chemicals
A character knowingly wearing harmful clothing in an effort to look fashionable
A character who refuses to wear harmful clothing and is shunned
A lower-class or impoverished character without the money to wear organically made or custom fitted clothing
Consider arming your character(s)! If for no other reason, sometimes a little self-defense could come in handy. And consider the reasons that character might not want to look armed. And then consider your weapons of choice, based on the character’s character and lifestyle.
Rings
Knife Edge
Secret Compartment
Single Shot Revolver
Hidden Spikes
Secret Compartment
Concealed Knife
Poison Capsule
Secret Compartments
Pepper Spray
Secret Compartment
Poison Capsule
Hidden Spike
Hidden Spike
Secret Compartment
Single Shot Revolver
Poison rings (also called pill box rings): an oldie but goody, the oldest examples date back to ancient Asia and India, popular in Europe starting in the 16th century; an empty space under or in the bezel could contain poison or other substances; a favorite with both assassins and generals
Knife blade ring: the top of the band is sharp enough to cut
Hidden spike ring: take off the top guard (rose blossom, ball, etc.) to expose a sharp, pointed blade weapon capable of ripping skin, drawing blood, and collecting the DNA of an attacker
Last shot revolver ring: ring looks like a six-shot revolver chamber seen from the back side; one 14K bullet chambered; these may not be effective as a weapon
Stealth cat ring: double-spiked ring that poses as a harmless pair of cat ears
Secret compartment ring: part of the band or top of the ring opens to reveal a small space in which correspondence, cameras, etc.
Nails or Claws
Bear Claws
Finger Gauntlet
Spiked Nails
Extended Nails
Traditional Chinese Wedding Ornamentation
Extreme Nails
Spiked Bracelet with Extended Nails
Ancient Chinese symbol of wealth and status, showing that people did not need to use their hands
A variation is a finger gauntlet, a jointed metal cover for one finger, usually with spikes or blades attached
Claws can be attached like a ring on the smaller knuckles of the fingers or slid over the tips of their finders
Blades could be attached to the top of the claw, or the tip of the nail itself can be a blade
These can be worn as a singular ornament or as an entire set on all fingers
They’re not exactly hidden, but they are easily overlooked as weapons
Bracelets
Hidden Compartment
Poison Capsule
Hidden Blade
Hidden Rapier
Spiked Bracelet
Dragon Chain
Buddhist Mandala
Hidden Clasp Blade
Chakram Cracelets
Secret Garrote
Dragon Chain in Use
Hidden compartment bracelets can hold a variety of helpful ways to kill people, including poison, lockpicks, keys, correspondence, etc.
Bracelets can easily conceal knives, either in the clasp, inside the band, or in a hidden compartment
Garrote wires can be covered with ornamentation
Chakram bracelets are a traditional Indian Sikh weapon, requiring skill to use effectively as a thrown, bladed weapon
Buddhist mandala (meditation) beads are effective blunt ended weapons
Really big Rosaries can be used the same way, if a character is very determined
Dragon chains are effective wrist guards and can be used as ranged attack weapons (this requires a great deal of training)
Spikes can be hidden among decoration on the edges or tops of bracelets
Necklaces
Secret Compartment
Hidden Blades
Secret Compartment
Kunai Blade
Rosary
Garrote
Poison pendant: functions like poison rings (above)
Hidden compartments in pendants can hold many other useful objects, such as lockpicks, photos, computer chips, explosives, correspondence, lights, etc.
Almost any shape pendant can disguise a blade
Kunai Blades: particularly useful in hand-to-hand combat, but they can also be used for traction when scaling the sides of buildings
Pendants designed with spikes can stab
Garrote necklace: handheld chain strong enough to strangle a person
Rosaries and Buddhist mandalas can also be worn as necklaces and used as described above
Brooches
Design Blade
Hidden Compartment
Poison Capsule
Detachable Spike
Poison hidden inside
Secret compartments can hold almost anything
The pin itself can be used to stab
Spikes or ridges in the design itself can be used as weapons
Prominently displayed brooches often carry hidden meanings
Earrings
Small Spikes
Small Blades
Hidden Compartments
Poison Capsules
Lockpicks
Handcuff Shim
Being so close to exposed skin on the neck limits the use of earrings as pointed or edged weapons
Carefully designed earrings can have small spike or blades
Lockpicks can be hidden within the design of earrings
Some earrings can contain specially designed shanks for breaking out of handcuffs
Earrings can contain hidden compartments for holding poison or other items helpful for maiming
Sunglasses
Hidden Blades
Hidden Camera
Secret Dart Gun
Knives in Earpieces
Blades can be hidden in the frames
Concealed tranquilizer or infectious darts can be hidden in the hinges
Being at eye level makes them ideal for concealing cameras
Hats
Blade Clipped to Bill
Spiked Back Clasp
Slappy Hat
Odd Job’s Razor Hat
Garrote Wire Concealed Under Flowers
Tactical cap with self-defense clip-on-bill
Spikes or tasers can be hidden on the back clasp
Perhaps the most famous is Odd Job from James Bond, who had a notoriously deadly hat with a razor-sharp brim
“Slappy Hat” has a weighted top to deliver extra punch when used as a weapon
Almost any hat or head covering can conceal a garrote wire
Hat Pins
Victorian Hat Pins
Edwardian Hat Pins
Designed to pierce through the hat and secure it to the head
Hat pins made ideal stabbing weapons
Head of the pin was large enough to conceal poison or other items
Could be used as lockpicks
There is ample newspaper evidence of women using and being encouraged to use hat pins as defensive weapons in public
Hair Pins
Antique Kanzashi
Tiny Child Armed to Kill
Antique Chinese Hair Pins
Hidden Dagger
Modern Hair Pin
Victorian Comb
Antique Chinese Hair Pins
Japanese kanzashi hairpins were originally designed for personal defense and as good luck charms
Fancy pin heads could conceal many useful things, depending on how ornate the hair pin
Poison
Lockpicks
Blades
Garrotes
Poisonous flowers
Throwing knives can be easily disguised as hair pins
Could be tipped with poison
Used in formal hairdressing in almost every culture in the world, by men and women, depending on the time period
Shoes
Stiletto
Gun Heels
Hidden Blades
Spikes for Shoelaces
Hold Everything
Hidden Blade
Crush Everything
Strike Fear Into the Hearts of Your Enemies
Blades can be concealed in the toe
Actual stiletto blades in the stiletto heel
Shoes have been designed with guns in the heal, but they are not very useful as weapons
Spikes on sides, backs, and tops
Laces can have spike woven in
Heavy, steel-cased boots can crush or break bones
Provide holsters for knives, guns, brass knuckles, etc.
Undergarments
Concealed Corset Holster
Metal Defense Corset
Knives in Corset Stays
Bulletproof Underpants
Underwire Gun Holster
Hidden Knife Sports Bra
Hidden Knife Pocket
Concealed Gun Holster
Bra Clip for Hidden Knife
Concealed Holsters
Corset stays can be designed to be removed and double as knife blades
Corsets had steel or bone stays (or were made entirely of steel) and served as defense
Holsters for knives, guns, and mace can be hidden in undergarments
Padded undergarments can provide some protection from knives
Kevlar underpants are bulletproof garments specifically designed to protect the femoral artery
Miscellaneous Concealable Weapons
Knife Pens
Spiked Grip
Spike Keychain
Coin Purse Cosher
Umbrella Sword
Stun Gun Grip
Hidden Blade Carabiner
Credit Card Knife
Knife Belt Buckle
Comb Knife
Lipstick Knife
Monkey Fist Keychain
Tactical Flashlight
Highlighter Knives
Stun Gun Lipstick
YooGo Defense Keychain
Walking Stick Sword
Key Knives
Telescoping Rod Keychain
Pepper Spray Lipstick
Hidden belt knife: knife is concealed in buckle area, can be pulled faster than from a pocket or sheath.
Comb knife: slide the teeth off to expose the knife blade
Hidden knife keychain
Lipstick tube concealing pepper spray
Hidden knife pen
Hidden Knife highliters
Hidden credit card knife
Hand grip concealing spikes
Coin purse that doubles as a blunt weapon when full
Walking stick or umbrella with a sword inside
Carabiners with flip-out knives
Bottom line: whatever the occasion, there’s a weapon for that!
If you’re a superhero, concealing weapons isn’t such a concern.
