The class will run for six weeks, April 23 to June 4, from 5-7 p.m. By the end of the six-week class, you can expect to have five short pieces ready to develop, one of which has been revised based on class critique. Each assignment will be crafted for this specific class. All members of the class will be expected to write for each class (up to 3 typewritten pages, double spaced) and to participate in the critiques. All assignments will be handed out the first day, so missing one class won’t put people off-track.
I recently wrote a blog on CUT THE FLAB and since then, I’ve been noting the various and sundry ways writers irritate readers—or perhaps I should say, this reader.
Going off-key on tone. This is when something just doesn’t feel right. It is especially likely when reading something supposedly set in an early time which contains language that is too modern. For example, a story is set in 1812 that contains references to teenagers and babysitting. It’s also common when using slang that is inappropriate to the time of the story or the age of the character: totally awesome, gag me with a spoon, and grody to the max scream the 1980s. An important part of tone is choosing the right form of a word—as in spittle if you want it to seem older, spit if you want it to be more modern.
Close but no cigar: Using the wrong word. Fiancé (masculine) versus fiancée (feminine). Blond (masculine) versus blonde (feminine)—although recently there is a trend toward going with blond for both. That/who: Use who for humans. “The man that walked in” is totally wrong. That should be for objects or animals, as in “The cat that ate the cream.” And/but: and connects two things that are in the same vein while but signals a turn. “She stifled a grin and spoke sympathetically” gives a different impression from “She spoke sympathetically but stifled a grin.” The former sounds sympathetic, the latter hypocritical.
Who/whom:whom always needs to be preceded by a preposition, such as by, for, of, to, etc. Who is without a preposition. So, “The man who came to dinner,” but “For whom the bell tolls.” Imply/infer: a speaker implies something but it’s the listener or observer who infers. Sit/set: a person, animal, or object sits in a resting position; sets is the act of putting something in that position. She sets the vase on the table and then it just sits there. What/which: “That what he would not dare” is wrong.
Redundant verbiage: I talked about this in the blog on flab, but here are some recent versions. Minutes/seconds don’t need modifiers: A brief second or a long minute are no-no’s. Expansive in the large magnitude. I resumed the previous ideas that… I wanted to stomp the floor with my foot.
This sort of irritation can do much to undermine what is basically a good storyline or plot. On the other hand: This is Act Happy Week, so maybe it’s time to put irritation aside!
Earlier this week a writing friend of mine, Fiona Quinn, invited people on Facebook to share their pet peeves. I shared two, one of which was characters who nod their heads. Perhaps I lack imagination, but I can’t think what else a person might nod. Shaking one’s head is a completely different matter, for all sorts of things—some of them body parts—can be shaken.
Which brings me to today’s blog. I get really annoyed with flabby writing—writing that includes unnecessary words or phrases. I’ll talk about four common types of flab: stating something for which there is no alternative, saying the same thing twice, naming characters or relationships already known, and stating an action that is inherent in another action.
Stating something for which there is no alternative. A character nodding his head is one of these. Here’s more flab.
She rose to her feet. She stood up. She sat down. A bouquet of flowers he had gathered himself, by hand. He thought to himself. Who else could he think to? The usual or inevitable need not be stated, only the exceptions.For example, if she stood aside it isn’t redundant.
Writing redundantly. In such a short span of time. At this point in time. He hesitated for a quick minute. With sudden haste. She quickly tore open the letter. Bickering back and forth. Opening a letter, “Now I shall see what my father thinks in his letter.”
Naming characters or relationships known to the characters and the readers. “The toll taken on him, her father, a man who…” “Your invitation to my sister, Kitty…” “Boasted to Mrs. Johnson, your mother…” “Turned to her husband, David…”
Writing an action that is inherent in another action. “He stood and walked to the door.” Can one walk to a door without standing? “She started the car and drove away.” “He took the pot from the stove and served the potatoes.”
And then there is writing that just makes no sense. He inwardly exhaled?
The bottom line: All sorts of unnecessary words and actions slip into writing, especially first drafts. Cut them mercilessly. One good exercise is to try to shorten every paragraph by a line, or every sentence by a word. He rushed to the door is much stronger than he walked quickly to the door—and it’s more concise.
One of the best things you can do for yourself as a writer is to join a writing group or workshop. The people you meet can offer fresh perspectives on your writing and help you evolve in your genre and beyond. Not only is it great to have another set of eyes look over your work, but going to a workshop every week helps you stick to a regular writing schedule. That discipline, coupled with the skills you pick up, are a great way to bring your writing to the next level.
I had no formal writing instruction from high school through retirement, but after I retired I began to take classes at the VMFA Studio School. In addition to all sorts of arts classes– drawing and painting, photography, pottery, printmaking– they offer creative writing courses. Coming up soon are two such courses: one in memoir writing, and another in blog writing.
Besides the classes at the VMFA, I’ve had classes and/or workshops at the University of Richmond and, of course, Nimrod Hall Summer arts programs. Registration for Nimrod is already open for week-long or weekend workshops, if you’re interested.
I’ve also had friends who’ve taken classes at VCU. They are difficult to get into for non-degree students, but it doesn’t hurt to try. While the types of courses vary from semester to semester, here is a list of upcoming courses they will be offering.
A writing friend took a seminar with Agile Writers which she said was excellent. You can take their mini-tutorials online, or become a member for more benefits. Still others have taken classes at the Visual Arts Center. They currently have a couple of open classes: Writing from Your Senses and Writing the Memoir. Sometimes you can find classes or workshops at local libraries. I once taught a 6-week class at the Tuckahoe Branch of Henrico County Library. Such opportunities are catch-as-catch-can, but be aware!
There are also workshops set up for you to make contacts within the writing community and to help you get feedback on your writing. One such event is Writers Wednesdays through the James River Writers, where on the second Wednesday of every month writers in Richmond have a casual meet-and-greet at Ardent Craft Ales. Similarly, Writers Farmhouse invites authors to the Midlothian Urban Farmhouse Market & Cafe to write, read, and motivate.
If you start taking writing instruction, you are likely to fall in love with your teacher. By all means, continue to take classes with her/him. But also branch out. I’ve taken classes with Douglas Jones, Susan Hankla, Sherri Reynolds, Cathy Hankla, Charlotte Morgan, and others. Valley Haggard is also a local writer who offers classes. James River Writers has a list of classes, workshops, and writing groups for you to get more info about these opportunities.
Each teacher offers something; they all have their strengths. Some light a creative spark. Some provide structure to get started and/or finish a specific project. Some sharpen specific writing skills. Some offer assignments and deadlines that make you keep BIC (Butt in Chair) and actually put words on paper. All should offer encouragement and support!
[Source: printablecalendar.com]Yes, March 3 is International Ear Care Day. It’s also Bonza Bottler Day—the day of the month when the number of the day is the same as the number of the month—which is as good an excuse for a party as any. But it is so much more than these! March is rife with awareness and celebration, and these are golden opportunities for writers. Celebrations make excellent background for conflict, humor, intrigue, and the revelation of character.
Here, for your writing and partying pleasure, is a list:
Allport Syndrome Awareness Month coincides with National Kidney Month to raise awareness of kidney disease and the benefits of organ donation.
American Red Cross Month, to make people aware of the activities and programs of approximately 600 offices nationwide.
Celebrate Your Name Week (first full week in March), to honor your name and make sure it is a respected part of your personhood.
Colic Awareness Month, to educate parents on safer soothing techniques. Colic is defined as an otherwise healthy baby crying for three or more hours a day, three or more days a week, for three or more weeks in a row.
Colorectal Cancer Education and Awareness Month, focusing on the need for early diagnosis, education, and treatment.
Credit Education Month, designed to remind people of the need to develop skills needed to manage their finances efficiently and effectively.
Employee Spirit Month urges employers to do things to raise the spirits of their employees. Duh! Apparently holiday office parties aren’t enough.
Mad For PlaidMonth: We think of plaid as originating in the British Isles, but it was really in Central Europe in the sixth century BCE. Consider more than Black Watch. Go for madras, gingham, check, as well as tartan.
Malignant Hypothermia Awareness and Training Month: Malignant hypothermia is is a reaction to commonly used volatile gaseous anesthesia, and untreated can kill a person within minutes.
Music in Our Schools Month to increase public awareness and support of music as part of a balanced curriculum.
National Caffeine Awareness Month is intended to reduce dependence on caffeine.
National Cheerleading Week (1-7)—exactly what the name says.
National Clean Up Your IRS Act Month is to focus on resolving problems with the IRS.
National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month—exactly what the name says.
National Craft Month lauds the fun and creativity of crafts and hobbies.
National Eye Donor Month: You can figure this one out! Coincides with Save Your Vision Month and Workplace Eye Wellness Month.
National Frozen Food Monthtouts convenience, quality, and nutrition.
National Multiple Sclerosis Education and Awareness Month: The aim is compassion as well as awareness.
National Nutrition Month—as if anyone doesn’t know about the importance of nutrition for good or ill!
National Peanut Month promotes peanuts in all their glory, from in the shell to pie. (I have an excellent recipe for peanut pie from ThePeanut Cookbook.)
National Procrastination Week (1-7) celebrates the benefits of procrastination—but might also interfere with other activities of the month!
National Umbrella Month honors one of the most versatile and underrated inventions of all time.
National Women’s History Month celebrating women’s contributions and achievements that are too often overlooked or ignored.
National Write A Letter of Appreciation Week (1-7), though I suppose in this day and age, an email of appreciation is more likely.
Optimism Month: Research documents that optimists have better health, greater prosperity, and are happier than pessimists.
Play-The-Recorder Monthbrings public performances in places such as libraries, bookstores, museums, and shopping malls. You might even find a workshop on playing the recorder.
Poison Prevention Awareness Month is for the prevention of accidental poisoning.
Professional Pet Sitters Week (first full week in March): Yes, people really do make a living this way. Imagine the opportunities for everything, from romance to murder!
Read an E-Book Week:Self explanatory. Why not try Different Drummer?
Return the Borrowed Books Week: Think personal loans as well as libraries.
Sing With Your Child Month promotes families singing, dancing, and making music together.
Social Work Month celebrates the services social workers provide to vulnerable populations.
Telecommuter Appreciation Week focuses on the benefits to workers, families, employers, and society.
Vascular Anomalies Awareness Month includes hemangioma, malformations, and tumors. Who knew?
Youth Art Month promoting the value and importance of art and art education for children and youths.
Should you accept the challenge of writing a March scene, story, or poem based on something in this list, you can find out more about any or all of them online. Cheers!
I have two favorite anecdotes about my children’s language. The first was when Helen was four and Sara was three weeks old. Helen had an appointment for her annual check-up and Sara had a terrible diaper rash, so we were on our way to the pediatrician’s office. Helen was anxious and asked question after question about what was going to happen. Eventually she asked whether he would see her first or Sara. I said, “I don’t know—whichever he chooses.” She said, “Oh. It’s his prerogative.” Yes, this really happened.
Time passed. When Sara was four and Helen was eight, I scolded Helen for hitting her sister and sent her to her room. Helen ranted about it not being fair, Sara had grabbed her book. Sara said, “But you hit me. You know the contingencies!”
Truth: I’ve sometimes told these anecdotes for their entertainment value. But I’ve recounted them here for different reasons. First: just because it really happened doesn’t make it believable. If you were to use this dialogue in a scene, you would have to lay the groundwork carefully. Let the reader know the parents are Ph.D.s who never talked baby talk to their children.You might want to let readers know that the father is an English professor and the mother a psychologist.
If you are writing stories for children or scenes involving children, choose your words carefully. There’s help out there. Although this reference is for people writing books for children, it’s a great resource for words children would understand and/or use. The words are grouped by grade level, beginning with kindergarten. It also includes synonyms.
Use the most recent word book you can find. A lot of words enter the language in fifteen years. Keep up.
These particular books start with kindergarten. For younger children, consult Dr. Spock or a good child development textbook. The usual tendency is to have children speaking too old for their years. But writers missing the target of believability ruins their credibility.
I recently started reading Hillbilly Elegy by J. D. Vance. Change the names, and it could be my memoir!
Yep. Roots in the hills of Eastern Kentucky. An old home place—where my paternal grandparents lived—in the holler at the head of Old House Creek. Granny Butcher, Granny’s mother, lived there, too. Here’s a picture taken in the yard there when I was a baby, me in Granny Butcher’s lap, with Dad and Granny standing.
To make Vance’s memoir my own would require a lot of tweaks. For example, it was my parents who didn’t finish high school. We both graduated from state universities in Ohio, but he went on to become a lawyer while I got a Ph.D. in psychology. Still, the broad picture is the same: unbreakable family ties, work-related migration from Kentucky to Ohio, and the emotional upheaval of upward mobility.
Which brings me to the point: good memoir evokes a strong emotional response in the reader. The basis of my response to Hillbilly Elegy is obvious, but there must be more to it than personal relevance. It didn’t become a bestseller on the basis of me alone! I was strongly affected by West With The Night (Beryl Markham) and Glass Castle (Jeanette Wall) without nearly so much shared history.
When you sit down to write memoir, start by asking yourself, “Why would anyone else care?” What is the emotional chord I am trying to strike? Horror or humor? Nostalgia or dysfunction?
And then, get some guidance. Writing good memoir draws on many of the same skills required for writing good fiction. But there are some issues and concerns unique to telling one’s life story. There are tons of good books out there. Here are a few samples.
Memoir is the fastest growing genre among writers today. But if writing it isn’t for you, at least read some. And ask yourself, “Why do I care?”
Romeo and Juliet by Frank Dicksee (1884) [Public domain]Yes, parental objections, physical distance, poverty, etc., are great ploys. But CONSIDER THE POTENTIAL OF MISCOMMUNICATION.
Cover of Pride and Prejudice from 1894 [Source: Pinterest]Jane Austin nailed misunderstanding. You can, too. Want a handy guide? Check out The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
This book explores five ways people express love.
#1 Words of Affirmation
#2 Quality Time
#3 Receiving Gifts
#4 Acts of Service
#5 Physical Touch
According to the author, each person has a predominant mode of expression.
FOR PLOT PURPOSES, you need only have two people with different preferences for expressions of love to go unrecognized.
This book is a NYT #1 Bestseller. The writing is accessible, the examples informative. I recommend it!
And as so often happens, there are now niche sequels.
GO FOR SOME LOVE! After all, Valentine’s Day is coming soon.
A large protest in Manhattan against the presidency of Donald Trump on November 9, 2016, the day after election day. [Creative Commons]
Today is the Trump inauguration. Tomorrow is the Women’s March on Washington. And every time you turn around, there is a football game or a rally of some sort. How can a writer make use of such events?
Donald Trump makes a campaign stop at Muscatine Iowa on January 24, 2016 [Creative Commons]
1)As the background or setting for plot action. Two or more characters can come into conflict. They can initiate, confirm, or advance plans for future action, be it benign or malignant. They can use the crowd as camouflage for a murder, kidnapping, or elopement. You get the idea.
2) As a means of revealing character. Just being there makes a statement—about attitudes, beliefs, or interests, depending on what the gathering is about. Then, too, it’s an opportunity to reveal how the character feels about being part of this. Why is s/he there? Is it voluntary? Obligatory? Part of the job? Is the character interested? Resentful? Inspired? Surprised? Bored?
3) As an opportunity for deviance. In the sorts of situations under discussion here, most people behave in similar, uniform ways. Psychologists call this behavior matching. Think of the wave at football games, listening politely to a public address, spectators cheering marathon runners. But what happens when someone behaves in the opposite way? Would your character do that? Why or why not?
Soldiers of Ukraine’s Internal Troops in riot gear and protesters clash at Bankova str, Kiev, Ukraine. December 1, 2013. [Mstyslav Chernov/Unframe, Creative Commons]
4) As an opportunity for strong emotions. People tend toward emotion matching.On average, people experience things as funnier, scarier, sadder, etc., depending on the apparent reactions of those around them. Also, people are more likely to “let themselves go”—in ways usually forbidden, anything from sexuality to looting—if people around them are doing the same. Psychologists call this disinhibition.
Below are a few writing tips I’ve written about before that are definitely still applicable today. What writing tips have you received that have helped you the most?
Don’t have characters tell each other things they already know just because the reader doesn’t know those things. For example, if two sisters are talking, it’s highly unlikely that one would say, “When Mom and Dad adopted our brother John, I was devastated.” Find another way to convey relevant relationships or bits of backstory to the reader.
Another no-no is to have an exchange between two people weighed down by repeatedly calling each other by name. “Hello, John.” “Hi, Sharon.” “How are you doing, John?” “Oh, Sharon, I am so low I have to reach up to touch bottom.”
A third negative is putting in greetings and leave-takings that are pro-forma, tell us nothing about the characters, or don’t move the story forward. Just because they would happen in real life doesn’t mean that every amenity has to be spelled out to the point of diluting the scene.
The basic rule is that short, simple sentences–even sentence fragments–convey more energy than longer, more complex sentences. They are less likely to be beautiful in the poetic sense, but they carry more punch.
Take an emotion such as anger. If it is a long-held, smoldering anger, longer sentences with modifiers and clauses might be appropriate in a narrative passage. But if it is an anger outburst or a heated argument, you are more likely to want short sentences.
If you use lots of ands, buts, whens, and thens, consider if wordiness is sapping energy from your writing. Consider breaking one long sentence into two or more shorter ones.
Whether describing a person, a place, a thing, or a process, long detailed descriptions–unrelieved by action–are likely to be deadly. If very well done, readers will get so involved in the description, in visualizing exactly what the author had in mind, that they are taken out of the story itself. If not well done, those passages are likely to be skipped altogether. Elmore Leonard advises leaving out the parts that readers skip anyway. Replace length with strong, vivid, memorable language.
In describing people, go for details that will help define the character for the reader. For example, describing an employee saying, “Her dress was black and blue and ruffled, better suited to a ballroom than a boardroom,” would not create the same image in the mind’s eye of every reader but it’s likely to convey the same impression–which is generally much more important.
And consider not describing transportation at all. If you need to get your character from New York to Philadelphia, put her in a car, a plane, or a train, get her out again, and let it go–unless something important to the story happens in transit. Even then, skip as much of the before and after as possible.
Finally, leave out the parts of routine actions that the reader can assume. For example, if a man is going out and locks the door behind him, we know without being told that he had already opened the door and closed it again.
