I blogged about beach reads (i.e., anything read at the beach) in 2016, 2018, and 2019. I was in the Rocky Mountains in 2017, and we all know what didn’t happen in 2020. But here’s this year’s take on what people actually read at the beach. These 16 people are ages 12 to 90, and 8 are female. FYI, some raved about their reads; no one said, “Don’t bother.”
Here, in the order people wrote them down, with writers’ comments where noted
And this doesn’t even include the 7 books bought the last afternoon before leaving!
And some people don’t choose what they’ll be reading at the beach. Work demands, school demands, parenting demands… Does reading the newspaper count as pleasure reading or required reading?
Student papers to grade
Reports for work, if the internet connection cooperates
Legal something-or-other for an upcoming court appearance
Coursework for Continuing Education requirements
Comparing textbooks for homeschooling
Manuscripts to edit
And there you have it folks: 16 people, 25 books (and other reading materials)—plus turtle viewing, boogie-boarding, brewery touring, thrift shopping, sewing, story telling, cooking, euchre, dancing, cribbage, Mexican Train Dominoes, hair, makeup, nails…
Bottom Line: Yep, lots to do at the beach—but don’t leave home without at least one good read!
Today’s blog entry was written by Kathleen Corcoran, a local harpist, writer, editor, ESL teacher, luthier, favorite auntie, duct tape sculptor, frequent ER visitor, and nosy acquaintance of medical professionals.
The human body is a complicated mess of electricity and wobbly bits, delicately balanced on a knife-edge of temperature and calories. All this pain and suffering is wonderful! …in fiction. Spectacular injuries, sudden deaths, miraculous recoveries, selfless healers all make great stories, but medicine doesn’t always oblige authors by being acceptably dramatic.
In reality, many of the most common medical scenes are impossible. People who have drowned don’t open their eyes to gaze adoringly at their rescuer giving them mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. A pregnant patient won’t feel her water break like an exploding water balloon and then go immediately into screaming contractions. The tough warrior can’t simply pull a knife from a stab wound and run back into the fray. It’s perfectly fine to wake a sleepwalker.
No One Comes Out of a Coma Like Sleeping Beauty
These people (anesthesiologists like Dr. Akshay Dalal) know all too well what happens when patients are unconscious for too long.
Fairy tales (and soap operas) would have us believe that a patient in a coma state will flutter their lashes and smile their way to consciousness at the most convenient moment in the plot. Of course, hair and make-up are always perfect, and any IVs or breathing tubes are just for show. Immediately, the patient is able to sit up and provide vital information to conveniently stationed witnesses.
In real life, a patient comes out of a coma slowly, often over the course of hours or days. Random mumbles and muscle contractions are far more likely than eloquent confessions. Of course, that’s assuming the patient doesn’t have a breathing tube in their throat, pneumonia and bed sores from staying in one position for so long, and permanent brain damage. Any extended time in bed will result in muscle atrophy, which makes dancing around the hospital room a little difficult.
CPR Doesn’t Magically Bring People Back to Life
Estonian Paramedics (note the lack of defibrillator paddles)
When someone’s heart stops beating, there is no point shocking their chest with defibrillator paddles and shouting, “Clear!” while the patient’s body jerks like a dolphin. Those scenes have plenty of tension and drama but not much medical fact.
A trained onlooker leaning over the lifeless body and thumping on the chest is a little more accurate, but the outcome is unfortunately not. Applying enough pressure on the chest to force the heart cavities to squeeze blood nearly always is also enough pressure to crack ribs. It’s an exhausting process, and the person providing CPR can’t stop. The American Red Cross no longer trains first aid providers to stop and force air into the patient’s mouth, because it is so much more important to stimulate and simulate heartbeats.
Administering CPR is so much more difficult when the patient won’t stay still and let their ribs be cracked!
Unlike those dramatic scenes in medical dramas, real CPR scenes are frequently unsuccessful. Only 10-20% of patients undergoing CPR recover at all. Those whose hearts do resume beating on their own are likely to suffer permanent loss of function and brain damage.
People Knocked Unconscious Don’t Just Pop Back Up
The very worst cases sometimes develop yellow arrows in their heads.
Knocking characters unconscious is a very convenient way to take them out of a fight without racking up the body count. Unfortunately, it’s not very convenient to the brains of those knocked unconscious.
A blow strong enough to knock someone unconscious, even briefly, is strong enough to cause brain damage, possibly even skull fractures. Hematomas (bleeding into the skull) can leave scars on the brain that can be seen on X-rays years later.
Like coma patients (which head trauma patients may become), a character knocked unconscious is likely to be groggy and uncoordinated when they come to. Someone who has been repeatedly knocked unconscious might develop chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), as football players are finding out now.
Fictional Medicine Never Includes Enough Paperwork
Only one of these ambulances actually has a patient. All the others are full of paperwork.
Medical TV shows almost always show the characters taking long coffee breaks, jumping in and out of relationships, creating miraculous cures just in the nick of time, and doing everything else except practice medicine. The same rules seem to apply to nurses, technicians, radiologists, residents, EMTs, office staff, and everyone else employed in or around sick people.
What these fictional settings almost never show is the reality of medical practice: paperwork. So much paperwork. When not attending directly to patients, everyone has to dig their way out from under mountains of unending paperwork.
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There are far more examples of medical inaccuracies than I can cover in this one post. Watching a medical professional watch TV is often more entertaining than the show itself. I have it on good authority that Scrubsand Sirens are two of the most accurate portrayals of the medical profession, despite (or perhaps because) they are both absurd comedies.
Before writing about injuries, death, doctors, nurses, medicine, pharmacists, or anyone or anything else involved in healthcare, I strongly suggest doing plenty of research or asking a medically inclined editor to take a look at what you’ve written.
We’re all aware of accidents that can happen in kitchens. The bathroom may be the most common room for injuries, but kitchen injuries come in a wide variety of gory types. For example
Knife cuts
Burn hazards
Injury from machines
Slips, trips, and falls
Lifting injuries
Head and eye Injuries
Crowded workspace risks
Chemical hazards
Fire hazards
Electric shock
Infection or contamination
Murder often happens in the kitchen while playing Cluedo (Americans play Clue).
Similarly, most people take steps to minimize accidents. For example, keeping knives sharp because dull blades will more easily slip off food and into a finger; keeping floors dry; and making sure ovens and stove burners are turned off after use.
Writers, think home invasions, homicide, domestic violence, and torture. What can happen accidentally in the kitchen can be inflicted on purpose or in the heat of the moment.
Burns
Cooking the kids would be much easier if the stove was actually turned on….
Serious burns are easy to come by in the kitchen: touching hot surfaces, direct flames, hot oils, hot pots and pans, or scalding from hot liquids like boiling water, oils, and steam. All provide an opportunity to inflict serious injury or even death.
Long hair is particularly hazardous around heat. Extra long tresses can swing too close to the flame or get caught on knobs and catch fire before the owner even notices.
Steam can reach temperatures over 400°F. Steam burns tend to be far more intense than scalding from boiling water. And don’t forget burns caused by electricity or chemicals.
Knives
Any variety of cutting implement, including vegetable slicers, food processors, and table knives, are a natural, and offer a variety of possible injuries depending on size, serration, etc.
Stabbing
Slicing
Removing body parts that may or may not be essential
Fingers
Toes
Ears
Hands
According to lore, the most commonly seen injuries in New York Emergency Rooms are from people cutting open their own fingers while trying to slice bagels!
Cuts
Even without tools specifically designed for cutting, serious injuries can be inflicted lots of ways. Kitchens have plenty of glassware and crockery, all of which can be broken and used to slice someone’s skin. Being thrown into a window is always exciting!
Stabbing
Remy the Rat faces the risk of stabbing every time he goes in the kitchen.
Beside knives, stabbing can be done with scissors, metal kebob skewers, fondue and cooking forks, corkscrews, or nearly anything pointy a very determined stabber can lay hands on.
For other skin injuries think graters, slicers, garbage disposals, or food processors.
Bludgeoning
That is the face of someone planning a bludgeoning.
Blunt force trauma isn’t just for the head—think broken fingers, feet, or limbs. Any heavy object will do.
Cast iron cookware
Counter top KitchenAid mixer
Liquor or wine bottles (which can then be used to stab or slice)
Meat hammer/tenderizer
Canned goods
Cutting boards
Cartons of ice cream (though that seems like a waste of perfectly good ice cream – blood does not improve the flavor)
Fire extinguishers
Head Injuries
Besides bludgeoning someone in the head, there are plenty of other methods of attaining a head injury in the kitchen. Many are caused by being pushed or shoved, or falling into kitchen fixtures. Water, oil, grease, and things you’d rather not think about are often spilled on kitchen floors, making slips and falls much more likely.
Overhanging shelves
Corners of open doors
Walls
Furniture
Floor
Being forced into a tight, confined place such as a walk-in pantry or chest freezer
Especially tall people will hit their heads on everything
Especially short people are likely to climb on counters or stepstools, with the associated risk of falling
When considering head injuries, go beyond concussion and bruising. Consider intentionally popping out an eyeball with a fruit spoon or strawberry huller—although accidental eye injuries in kitchens more commonly result from hot oil, steam, or water.
Choking
Dishtowel
Appliance cord
Apron
Stuffing something down the victim’s throat
Accidentally (or tricked into) eating something that causes anaphylactic shock
So, do what you can about accident hazards in the kitchen. Avoid overcrowding for injuries are often caused by bumping into or tripping over another person. Do not try to do kitchen work if you are overtired, ill or under the influence of alcohol or medication. Remove all trip and slip hazards. But …
Bottom line: Whether accident or attack, the kitchen is a great place to ramp up tension, develop plot, or create a puzzle.
If you aren’t in a prison or a gang, who cares? More people than you might imagine! Think self-preservation and decision making—not to mention writing realistically.
Prison employees
Parole officers
Social workers
Police officers
Medical providers
Those new to the neighborhood/prison
Border patrol
Anyone living or travelling in Eastern Europe or Russia
Indeed, an extensive list of tattoos, with pictures and meanings, has been produced for the Canadian Border Patrol. It’s available online at publicintelligence.net (search tattoos and their meanings).
There is an abundance of on-line information about the meaning of prison tattoos, and it’s generally consistent. But keep in mind, there are varied meanings, and context is important. One example here would be playing cards, typically found on the knuckles. In Russian prisons, the suit chosen have meanings. In other settings, this type of tattoo may indicate someone who likes to gamble, or who sees life as a gamble. (See below.)
The Nature of Prison Tattoos
Overall, prison tattoos tend to look dark and crude. Inmates tattoo each other using whatever equipment they can gather, such as staples, ballpoint pens, paper-clips, improvised needles, molten rubber, styrofoam, etc.
Sometimes the “artist” will draw a picture on a wooden plank, place needles along the lines of the design, cover the needles with ink and stamp the whole tableau on the prisoner’s body. Another method is to slice the image onto the skin with a razor and daub the cut with indelible ink. When prisoners manage to get an electric shaver and a syringe with a needle, they can jury-rig a tattooing machine.
One of the least horrific photos I could find of an infected tattoo
Ink is hard to come by, so for dye, they can use pen ink. Also, they can burn the heel of a shoe, and mix the ash with the prisoner’s urine – a practice superstitiously believed to reduce the chance of infection. Research has revealed a connection between tattoos and high rates of hepatitis C among prisoners.
Tattooing is typically slow and nearly always painful. Conditions are inevitably far from sterile, so infections and complications are common. Suffice it to say that what prison tattoos convey is important to the wearer.
Not All Tattoos are Voluntary
The most famous instance would be during the Holocaust when concentration camp inmates were tattooed with an identification number. Also see the section on gender below. Any tattoo that stigmatizes a prisoner, or invites abuse by other inmates, is likely to have been applied involuntarily.
White Supremacist Gang Tattoos
KKK
Neo-Nazism
Arian Brotherhood (AB)
Family Affiliated Irish Mafia (FAIM)
Sacramaniac
Number tattoos
General white supremacist symbols
For example 1488 (or 14 or 88) found anywhere on the body identifies white supremacists/Nazi inmates. There are a variety of tattoos associated with the Arian Brotherhood, important to identify, for they make up 1% of the prison population but commit 20% of inmate murders.
FAIM members sometimes wear a shamrock as well, signifying affiliation with the AB—but this is only allowed with permission of the AB
In the Soviet Union, particularly during Joseph Stalin’s time, non-political prisoners (thieves, murderers, arsonists, etc.) in the Gulag system were often given preferential treatment by prison guards. Tattoos told the guards as well as other prisoners how to treat a prisoner, including what labor assignments they got and whether to assign prisoners as enforcers. Eventually, non-political prisoners gained so much power within the Gulags that the Vor v Zakony (Thieves in Law) essentially ran many of the prison camps. Today, the Vory is one of the most powerful mafia organizations in the world. In many areas within the former Soviet Union, anyone with visible tattoos is assumed to be affiliated with the Vory or pretending to be.
Star
Manacles
Epaulette
Birds on horizon
Barbed wire
Symbol of the cross
Crowns and rings
Scarab beetle
Playing cards
Cat
A cat tattoo represents a thief.
One cat = the prisoner worked alone
Multiple cats = the prisoner was part of a gang of thieves
A cat tattoo (think stealthy as a cat) is considered good luck for a thief
If worn on the chest, it also signals a dangerous criminal who hates law enforcement
Playing card suits carry specific meanings: spade represents a thief; clubs symbolize criminals in general, diamonds label stoolpigeons and informants – and was probably applied by force—and hearts imply that someone is looking for a romantic partner in the prison, which may also be forcibly applied.
The knife through the neck tattoo, in Russian prisons, means the bearer is a murderer—and proud of it. Much has been written about Russian prison tattoos. If interested, you can find information specific to Japan, Australia, France, Italy, etc.
Street/Prison Gang Tattoos
MS-13 (Mara Salvatrucha)
Mara Salvatrucha 13
Black Guerrilla Family
Red Blood Dragon
Gangster Discipes
Santana
Mexican Mafia
Mexikanemi
Texas Syndicate
Almighty Latin King Nations
18th Street Gang
Sureños
Crips
Norteños
Texas Chicano Brotherhood
Border Brothers
Hells Angels
Bloods
Crips
Indian Warrior
Laotian Boyz (LB)
Common Symbols
Tiger
Spider web
Tear drop
Three dots
Five dots
Angel of death
Clown faces/masks
Vida loca
Barbed wire
A spiderweb, typically representing a lengthy incarceration, is commonly found on the elbow or neck.
Teardrops can mean a lengthy prison sentence, that the wearer has committed murder, or that one of the inmate’s friends was murdered and the tattooed one is seeking revenge.
According to corrections1.com, “One of the most widely recognized prison tattoos, the teardrop’s meaning varies geographically. In some places, the tattoo can mean a lengthy prison sentence, while in others it signifies that the wearer has committed murder. If the teardrop is just an outline, it can symbolize an attempted murder. It can also mean that one of the inmate’s friends was murdered and that they are seeking revenge. The teardrop has been popularized recently by rappers and other celebrities, but still remains a staple in prisons. Those who are newbies behind bars with a teardrop tattoo will make a lot of enemies, fast.”
Alternatively, Mental Floss says, “There are many stories about why a prisoner would have this tattoo, but the most common is that an unfilled teardrop might symbolize the death of a loved one, while an opaque one might show that the death has been avenged.
Three dots representing “my crazy life” (vida loca) refers to the gang lifestyle, but no particular gang; typically applied at the corner of the eye or between the thumb and index finger. Sometimes three dots, like three crosses, represents the holy trinity of Christianity.
Five dots between the thumb and forefinger represents time done in prison. It’s found internationally. Located elsewhere on the body, this design may mean association with the People Nation gang.
A clock with no hands represents doing time and a lot of it. Ditto watch without hands or an hourglass.
Barbed wire tattoos are fairly common and many have no specific meaning. Sometimes each barb represents a year served in prison. On the forehead, such tattoos typically mean serving a life sentence.
Laughing and crying clown faces/masks often means “Laugh now, cry later” attitude of the gang lifestyle.
Gender As a Factor in Prison/Gang Tattoos
Although there is much online discussion of convict tattoos in general, most of the images shown feature men. From this, with an overlay of gender stereotypes, one might conclude that tattoos among female inmates are rare. But I found one research paper to the contrary.
“This study confirmed that there is a high frequency of tattoos among female offenders, but disproved the hypothesis that the frequency would be higher and more aggressive among violent offenders in comparison to non-violent offenders. Based on these findings, non-violent female offenders were more likely than violent female offenders to have a tattoo or tattoos, to have multiple tattoos, and to have aggressive or masculine tattoos. However, offenders convicted of violent crimes like robbery and assault or battery had the most visible tattoos, primarily located on the hands, face, fingers, and wrists.”
(Sullivan, Megan, “Crimes Committed By Tattooed Female Offenders and the Significance of Body Art Content and Location” (2011). All Regis University Theses. 48 (.https://epublications.regis.edu/theses/483)
I found no indication that the images and/or their meanings differ by gender.
And according to Wikipedia, “Forced and enslaved prostitutes are often tattooed or branded with a mark of their owners. Women and girls being forced into prostitution against their will may have their boss’ name or gang symbol inked or branded with a hot iron on their skin. In some organizations involved with the trafficking of women and girls, like the mafias, nearly all prostitutes are marked. Some pimps and organizations use their name or well-known logo, while others use secret signs. Some years ago, the branding mark was usually small, only recognized by other pimps, and sometimes hidden between the labia minora, but today some “owners” write their names in big letters all upon the body of the victim.”
Bottom line: Tattoos can carry a lot of meaning. When deciphering that meaning, tread carefully.
Elizabeth Taylor as Cleopatra in the 1963 film of the same name
Vladimir Franz, a candidate for the Czech Presidency in 2013
Last week, a woman said to me (approximately), “People think permanent make-up is a new thing, but Cleopatra’s famous eyes were tattooed on. Soot was applied with knives.” I’d never heard such a thing, and I’ve actually been to Egypt. I always assumed her face was painted. As with anything that pricks my curiosity, I googled it. Lo and behold, it’s a much more complicated topic than I ever considered.
Basically, any time an indelible design is created by inserting pigment under the epidermis, the result is a tattoo. Tattooing has been practiced in various cultures over centuries.
How Many Centuries?
Ötzi the Iceman
As for bodily evidence of tattoos, for a long time the oldest known examples were Egyptian mummies, dated about 2000 BCE. However, Ötzi the Iceman, found on the Italian-Australian border in 1991, pushed that back. His mummified skin has at least 60 tattoos and was carbon dated a thousand years earlier, making him 5,200 years old.
This pre-Cucuteni figurine was made sometime between 4900 and 4750 BCE, with what look like evidence of cultural tattoos.
If one considers non-body evidence such as figurines and and paintings, then tattooing was practiced in Egypt in the Predynastic period, around 3100 BCE.
Tattooing Was Everywhere
Moana was also the first Disney film to feature characters with tattoos!
Tätowierung Inuitfrau, an Inuit woman painted by Jens Peder Hart Hansen, circa 1654
The word tattoo started as the Polynesian word ta, meaning to strike. It evolved into the Tahitian word tatatau, meaning to mark something. As seen in the animated film Moana, these traditional tattoos were applied by means of rapidly striking a bamboo rod to drive an inked thorn into the skin.
A marriageable girl of the Koita people of Papua New Guinea, who had new tattoos added every year since she was five years old
In nearly every ancient culture, such as those in Greece and Rome to Native Americans, Japanese, sub-Saharan African, Australian Aboriginal, and Innuit, evidence has shown that tattooing was and most modern cultures tattoos were and are everywhere.
But Why Tattoo?
Preserved skin of a British military deserter, tattooed with a D
A cultic symbol dedicating the wearer to a specific god or belief
For example, Amunet was a priestess of the goddess Hathor.
As a brand signifying servitude/slavery/shame
For example adulterers marked with an A, T for thief, etc.
As a professional identification (e.g., prostitute, priestess)
As a permanent amulet seeking protection
Sailors having anchor tattoos or miners with lamps tattooed on their foreheads were trying to bring good luck.
The patterns of tattoos on Egyptian women’s abdomens and thighs seem to have been for fertility and for protection during pregnancy and childbirth.
Japanese prostitute of the Kansei Era (circa 1888) painted by Tsukiok Yoshitoshi
Tattoos may have been a therapeutic tool, similar to acupuncture.
The Ice Man had tattoos on his hands, lower back, and feet in areas that showed signs of stress damage.
As a declaration of group membership (think Marines, college fraternities, or Nazis)
As a visible means of intimidating the enemy (think Maori warriors) or showing bravery or success in battle
As a personal symbol of a meaningful event (e.g., birth of a child) or belief (sayings of Jesus or Buddha), or tribute to a beloved person
And, of course, as pure body art/decoration
Tattoos used by gang members and prisoners are often extraordinarily complex and will be covered in a separate blog post of their own.
The tattoos used by the Nazis in concentration camps were a form of branding, not in the same class as voluntary markings prisoners have chosen to put on their bodies for various reasons.
Today, plastic surgeons often work with tattoo artists to cover scars, burns, the effects of alopecia or vitiligo.
Many women get tattoos on their breasts after cancer surgery.
Along with her other artistic work, Amy Black (Pink Ink Fund) is a tattoo artist well known in the Richmond, VA area, for creating realistic-looking nipples or other art for women who have had cancer surgery.
Permanent Make-Up, the Daughter of General Tattooing
The goal is to look natural, or like externally applied makeup, enhancing colors on the face, lips, eyebrows, and eyelids. This type of tattooing (also known as cosmetic tattooing, dermapigmentation, micropigmentation) is also older than one might think.
Tattooed Eyebrows and Eyeliner
The first documented permanent makeup artist was Sutherland MacDonald, in the U.K. in 1902! His specialty was “all-year-round delicate pink complexion”—i.e., rouged cheeks. By the 1920s, it was popular in the U.S. The tattooist George Burchett wrote about beauty salons that tattooed women using vegetable dyes without their knowledge under the rise of “complexion treatment.” (Personally, I can only imagine that those women were willfully ignorant, given that tattooing is generally an uncomfortable procedure with visible aftereffects, such as temporary scabbing.)
Mrs. M Stevens Wagner, 1907
As with all matters of fashion, popularity varies over time. During the 1960s and 1970s, the popularity of tattoos took a sharp uptick. According to one article (the guardian.com) in 2016, a US poll revealed that 29% of people had a tattoo, up from 21% four years earlier. Of people born between 1982 and 2004, 47% have at least one.
General Considerations
Whang-od Oggay is the last Mambabatok (master practitioner of the traditional Kalinga tattoo method) of the Butbut people of the Philippines.
Do multiple tattoos create a different impression from a single one? And if so, in what way? What difference does the reason for the tattoo make? What about the nature/content of the tattoo?
But Back to Cleopatra
Retrato Femenino: Fresco of a woman believed to be Cleopatra from a villa in Roman Herculaneum, circa 1st Century CE
According to accepted academic evidence, in Egypt—unlike most cultures—only women were tattooed. The tattoos most often seemed related to fertility and childbirth, or identifying the woman as high ranking. However, I found nothing specific to Cleopatra’s face. Bummer.
Bottom Line
Permanent body decoration serves psychological and/or practical purposes for the tattooed one. In addition, body decorations send out a range of social signals—intentional or not. Think about it.
The opposite might be temporary tattoos. Several companies, including SafetyTat, Child Safety Store, TempToo, Pimp My Diabetes, and independent creators on Etsy, offer safety designs with children’s allergy information, medical conditions, or guardians’ contact information. Childcare and law enforcement experts have encouraged caregivers to use these tattoos for crowded events, children with life-threatening illnesses or allergies, and children unable to speak or memorize phone numbers.
Yep, I confess to being an unabashed logophile (lover of words). (This seldom-used word comes from Greek roots: logos, meaning speech, word, reason; and philos, meaning dear, friendly.)
Some people are logomaniacs—i.e., obsessed with words. I may be borderline, but I don’t think I’m quite there yet! On the one hand, I do have more than five full shelves of dictionaries, from general ones like Random House and the OED to specialized ones for everything from slang and historical periods to non-American English (e.g., Australian and South African). On the other hand, I can go whole days without even opening one!
Still, I’m gratified to know (according to the Cambridge English Dictionary) that gobby means talks too much. Closely related—but with different nuance—in American English, gabby means excessively or annoyingly talkative.
Recently, I began posting a word a day on FaceBook, just the word, no definition. The only criterion is that it strike my fancy on a given day. But maybe I should theme it.
Rantipole: a wild, reckless, sometimes quarrelsome person; characterized by a wild, unruly manner or attitude.
Solivagant: rambling alone, marked by solitary wandering.
Agathokakological: composed of both good and evil. True of many (most?) people, and of all good villainous characters!
Noctiphany: something that happens only at night.
Skice: to frisk about like squirrels in spring.
Lethologica: when a word is on the tip of your tongue.
Sesquipedalian:
And when it just won’t come in time, you can substitute. Here are some words for an object, event, type of media, abstract concept, or person whose name is forgotten, unknown, or unmentionable. There are regional variations, but some of these seem to be universal.
Thingamajig
Thingummy
Thingamabob
Whatchamacallit
Whatsit
Thingy
What’s-his/her-name
What’s-his/her-face
Doohickey: object or device
Doodad
Gizmo
And then there are the nuances of words to consider. By this, I mean words that can objectively mean the same thing but create different impressions of age, social class, education, gender, etc. Some words are essentially unintelligible to people outside a particular social group. This is where a good thesaurus comes in handy (or Urban Dictionary). A few examples:
A geographic explanation of why English is so weird
Whether you’re “a car person” or not, your ride sends messages. Here are just a few examples of choices that have a distinctive vibe. The impressions and stereotypes listed below were gathered from various websites and, like most stereotypes, do not necessarily reflect the truth.
Prius
I’m starting with Prius because I own one—two, in fact. Non-Prius owners tend to stereotype Prius owners as 1) tree-huggers and 2) bad drivers.
According to urbandictionary.com, the top definition of Prius includes: “Hippies hipsters, and less-intelligent liberals buy them under the impression they’re saving the environment.” If you remember (or have heard of) the 1970’s hippies, VW buses, etc., then you know tree-hugger stereotypes have been around long before the Prius. True, it is an environmentally friendly car, very economical. But fYI: as a group, Prius owners are not environmental activists.
Also according to urbandictionary.com, top definition of Prius: “Prius is most often seen doing 40 in the carpool lane with an obese neckbeard at the wheel, a 24-pack of PSR in the truck [sic], and an anti-Bush sticker on the trunk lid.” In fact, bad drivers are everywhere and drive anything. No doubt you’ve seen accidents with luxury cars, pickup trucks, mini vans, compact cars, and anything else that’s on the road. Enough said.
Famous Prius Owners
Tom Hanks
Ryan Gosling
Cameron Diaz
Julia Roberts
Leonardo DiCaprio
Danny DeVito
Jeff Goldblum
Ford F-150
America’s #1 selling vehicle since 1977
Work vehicle
Towing capacity
Off-road capability
Can handle massive cargo
Luxury and modern tech
Great outdoors, rugged strength, old-school Americans
Other Ford Models
More unathletic and ugly than any other driver
Older
Modest
Far from the executive suite
Cadillac
Ten stereotypes as identified by Nigel Presnyakov in October of 2019 (city-data.com), are humorous. He categorizes by model and year. Who knows how closely they reflect reality? But worth a read.
Escalade drivers: a rap star or a housewife. Stereotypers agree this car attracts either hip-hoppers or soccer moms.
Subaru
Outdoorsy, granola types who go camping biweekly and cover their car with social justice stickers.
And here are the views summarized by Joe Djoremy on quara.com
Audi
Attractive and audacious
A car for “climbers”
More playful than Mercedes or BMW drivers
Younger and less wealthy than Mercedes drivers
BMW
Wild and male (only the Porsche is more so)
Likely to be speeders
Athletic and arrogant
Not (yet) as professionally successful as Porsche
Only moderately ten with efficient dynamics and ecology
Fiat
Slim and restrained
A “women’s car”
Low salary, no university degree
Mercedes
Serious and bourgeois
Older
Likely self-employed, arrogant, conservative, unathletic, and overweight
Presumed low-income, with someone else providing for their needs
Often a student
Opel
Honest and good humored
Modest
Unattractive, unathletic, philistine
Happier than Mercedes drivers
Peugeot (per German opinions)
Happy and modest
Employed female
Mid-30s
Polite, modest, pretty, slim
Good-humored
Volkswagen
Happy and modest
Middle class, moderately educated, average income
Otherwise, the image of Volkswagen drivers is all over the map
Neither young nor old
Modest yet cosmopolitan
Shy yet audacious
Motorcyclist Stereotypes
(Mentioned in Last Week’s Blog)
Riders wear leather to look cool:
Could be for style, but leather riding gear is both protective and practical
A bunch of stunt hooligans
The vast majority are careful riders, obeying traffic laws
Actual gatherings for reckless or flamboyant riding are usually kept on the down low
Motovlogs on YouTube: journalistic, motorcyclist, or just plain fun
Bikers hate cars
In reality, most motorcycle riders hate that too many people don’t use them properly, especially not sharing the road
All are road-rage barbarians
Some are, most not, just as any other vehicle driver
Generally, motorcyclists disapprove of those who make all look bad
Bikers have a death wish
Not so: bikers want to ride because they get so much in return, despite the risks
Accidents tend to be more dangerous when they occur simply because motorcyclists are not surrounded by the protective metal and fiberglass shell of other vehicles
And Rounding us out: caranddriver.com, 25 Best-Selling Cars,Trucks,and SUVs of 2020
Vehicle popularity is heavy on SUVs and trucks, with a smattering of cars. Here, without further comment:
.
Toyota 4Runner
FordTramsot
Jeep Cherokee
Nissan Altima
Mazda CX-5
Subaru Outback
Subaru Forester
Ford Escape
Honda Accord
Jeep Wrangler
Jeep Grand Cherokee
Toyota Highlander
Ford Explorer
Nissan Rogue
Toyota Corolla
Toyota Tacoma
GMC Sierra
Honda Civic
Chevrolet Equinox
Toyota Camry
Honda CRC
Toyota RAV4
Dodge Ram Pickup
Chevrolet Silverado
Ford F-series
NB: for the sake of brevity, most of these makes/models aren’t mentioned above, but their profiles are out there!
BOTTOM LINE: As a society, we are prone to classify tings—often for silly reasons. Something to be aware of in our lives and take advantage of in our writing.
Like other accouterments of our lives—housing, clothing, pets—how we get from Point A to Point B communicates to those around us—and not everyone draws the same conclusions! The following observations are some of the most common (or loudest) I’ve come across; different countries and time periods have had varied observations about modes of transportation. Like most stereotypes and public perceptions, the following are of varying degrees of truth.
As general background: when users have to decide which mode of transport to use (private car, public transport, cycling, walking, etc.) gender is often a more robust determinant than age or income!
Shank’s Mare (A.K.A. walking): the Oldest Mode
If only we could see what was on the other side!
Seldom chosen as the primary or only way to get around
People on long pilgrimages (Hajj to Mecca, walking cross country to raise awareness for a cause, Gandhi’s march to the Sea)
Depending on other info, may indicate poverty or health awareness
Bicycle: Impressions Depend on Model, Condition, Etc.
Many cities in China have more bicycles than cars.
Bicycles, mopeds, scooters, and motorcycles are almost always two-wheeled vehicles driven and steered by one rider. The distinctions are, like almost everything else, varied around the world and prone to blurring. A bicycle is powered entirely by the rider pedaling; a moped has a small motor attached to assist with pedaling in especially difficult environments. Bicycles are relatively easily modified for people with physical limitations, compared to cars and motorcycles.
People are in the best mood when riding bicycles
Can be inexpensive or very expensive, depending on type of bicycle and riding gear
Environmentally friendly
Difficult to park securely in many places
Primarily for physical fitness
In fact, the vast majority of regular bicyclists in the US ride for transportation as they cannot afford a car and do not have access to public transit
Limited passenger capacity
Not as limited as most in the U.S. assume.
In Copenhagen, “’Cargo-bike moms’ are gentrifying the Netherlands.”
Scooter Impressions
Scooters are powered entirely by an engine, with a foot well for the seated rider’s legs. Unlike a car, all engine controls are in the handles.
Ambulance scooter with a sidecar for patients
Easy to drive
Cheaper and slower than a motorcycle
No safer than motorcycles
Popular on very rural country rides for teenagers
More popular abroad than in the U.S.
Easier to maneuver and store in crowded areas
Driving permit requirements are often different from those of a car or motorcycle
Many areas don’t require permits at all
Iran and Saudi Arabia (among others) are questioning whether scooters fall under the same laws forbidding women to drive
Motorcycle Rider Stereotypes
Motorcycles and scooters are very similar, but a motorcyclist sits astride the seat. The engine of a motorcycle is generally more powerful than that of a scooter.
Bessie Stringfield rode her motorcycle from one end of America to the other, and as a dispatch rider in World War II.
Violent
Gang members
Harley riders are elitist and only care about brand; Other riders are effeminate
Reckless behavior
Stunt hooligans on the road
Prone to road-rage
Have a death wish
Emergency Response personnel sometimes refer to motorcycle riders as “Organ Donors,” but that is more because of the lack of safety gear than specific behavior patterns
Car haters
Uneducated rednecks
All young riders prefer sports bikes
“Dykes on Bikes” motorcycle club at a Pride rally
Physically tough appearance
Men have long, unkempt beards
Tattoos are common
Women dress provocatively
Lots of black leather, chains, spikes, gang markings, etc.
Gear is chosen to look tough rather than for practicality
Many of these perceptions are based on Hell’s Angels and other “outlaw motorcycle clubs”
Multi-Passenger Public Transportation
Public transport is much safer than automobiles (the above photo is an exception). For example, bus and rail travelers are 20 times less likely to die en route than drivers. Even if self-driving and safety technology could reduce car by 90%, fatalities per passenger mile would still be twice as high in private automobiles.
Dogs ride free, right?
World-wide, the largest share of public transportation users are women
Bus and train riders experience the most negative emotions
Bus: poor people who cannot afford a vehicle/gas;
homeless/mentally ill people seeking temporary shelter from the elements.
Subway: city-dweller
Train: long-distance commuters;
More common in Europe and Asia, where train systems are much more comprehensive
Plane: long-distance (business or pleasure) travelers of means
Individual Cars
Private automobiles are especially dangerous if they don’t obey the laws of gravity.
So happy! He knows he’s going to the park.
The second happiest people are car passengers, followed by car drivers
Carpoolers: cut down air pollution
Lessen expenses of gas/parking
Private chauffeur
Renting a limousine or similar
Driver alone: not sociality responsible
Selfish or ego-centric
Taxi/Lyft/Uber: short distance trips for those valuing convenience
People who cannot drive for whatever reason (inebriation, tourist, moving larger than normal cargo, etc.)
Consider the possible conflicts between traditional taxi services and Lyft or Uber style companies, or even the conflict between drivers and management within those companies
Car drivers are so common that to dig into assumptions, it’s necessary to get into make and model
Other
Other methods of transportation are more common outside the US. Extreme climates, different resources, and distance have made what we might see as extraordinary into the everyday.
Ferries are common in highly populated areas on the water.
Dog sled, snow mobile, cross-country skiing
Bush plane
Tuktuk, marsrhutka, or any other kind of informal minibus system run by individual drivers
Horseback or horse-drawn vehicle (or donkey, mule, camel, etc.)
Canoe or kayak
Hitch-hiking
Rickshaw
BOTTOM LINE for writers: consider your choice and the reason for it!
Having a personal porter is one of the most convenient methods of transportation when available.
I have to work very hard not to spend all my money (and time) one books.
Money, money, money! It touches nearly every aspect of a person’s/character’s life—and deserves conscious decision making.
Does owning an entire city count as filthy rich?
How much money? These are not scientific or economic terms, rather, the sorts of terms people use to describe themselves and/or others. The actual dollar amounts associated with the descriptors may vary. What would you/your character say? Point of information: people tend to make finer distinctions closest to where they peg themselves, lumping the extremes into bigger chunks.
Being penniless isn’t so bad when there are open barrels of food everywhere.
Penniless
Poverty stricken
Poor
Lower middle class
Middle class
Upper middle class
Well off
Rich
Filthy rich
*I’ve also seen income level defined by preferred fast food options. The scale ranges from Going to AA Meetings for Coffee, through Taco Bell and Chipotle, all the way up to Whatever the Private Chef Makes.
Social attitudes toward shopkeepers often depends on the quality of merchandise.
Source(s) of income: Note that respect for various sources of income varies widely. This often translates into treating people differently.
Musicians playing in a bar are often treated differently from musicians playing in a symphony hall, though their incomes are often almost identical.
Begging or panhandling
Gambling
Theft of various sorts, with or without another source
Illegal activities
SSI disability
Medicare/Medicaid
Hourly wage
Entertainment, anything from a classical pianist to an exotic dancer
By the job/ piecework
Having multiple jobs
Salary
Salary plus bonuses
Stocks/bonds, dividends/interest
Trust funds
Family loans/gifts
Stability/predictability/security of income: Obviously, stability has implications for mental health and life stress. Money can’t buy happiness, but it certainly makes achieving stability somewhat easier.
Some people value experience and travel more than money, making a living on the road, feeling the wind in their fur… er… hair.
Assassins are generally exempt from income and property taxes, though sales tax may still apply.
Thoughts on taxes: This could be the modern IRS, but the same questions could just as easily be applied to citizens providing magic spells or Zygloxans giving helium globules to the Grand Tyrant on Planet YT-3H81.
Taking fewer payroll deductions than allowed in order to assure a tax refund vs. planning to owe and have the use of the money in the meantime
Being willing to pay taxes or looking for ways to avoid paying them
Finding quasi-legal or outright illegal methods to get out of paying taxes
Carefully accounting for every expenditure or estimating
Moral objections to the use of taxes (such as Thoreau)
Attitude toward money: Not necessarily related to amount of income.
Making everything at home is a way to save money and ensure quality.
Always more where that came from
Easy come, easy go
Best to save for a rainy day/unexpected expense
Sacrifice now for a secure retirement/college tuition/whatever
Always live below your means
Clips coupons and shops sales
Shop resale/garage sales/etc.
Buy quality, not quantity
Budget every penny and then figure out which bills will have to remain unpaid
Money by comparison: Source(s), level, etc., of income, especially compared to family and friends.
Relationships can get really complicated if your friends sell you off for scientific experiments.
Similar
Comparable
Much above
Much below
Changed over your/your character’s lifetime
Income disparity causing conflict
Where the money goes:
Religious tithes
Charitable contributions
Necessities only
Whatever strikes one’s fancy
Luxuries, with or without guilt
Whatever is most visible to elicit praise, admiration, or envy from others
Hobbies (what?)
Supporting family or friends who need a hand
Pets
Back into a business
Stocks/bonds
Sponsoring people on social media as indirect advertisement
Partying with demons is surprisingly expensive.
How money is handled:
If these characters offer a loan, running away is probably the best response.
Cash only
Charge everything possible
Pay by debit card whenever possible
Pay bills as soon as one arrives
Have bills paid by bank debit
Pay at the last minute, sometimes incurring late fees
Tip lavishly or stingily?
Bank account
Checking account
Savings account
Needing to take payday or title loans
If having to choose food, rent/mortgage, utilities, gas/transportation, which?
Bottom Line: What other ways is money a lynchpin in the life of you / your character?
No matter how carefully one budgets and saves, it can all be taken away at any time when a horde of dragons comes by.
In last week’s blog, I discussed nom de guerre, literally war name, that in current French usage has come to mean any pseudonym. Like any other in-group, soldiers develop their own jargon—which often lingers in subsequent slang, often with a morphed meaning.
This blog will showcase just a few such words/phrases.
A.W.O.L. (Absent Without Leave) Even before the Civil War, this meant a soldier who has gone off without permission. Now business executives, teenagers, spouses—virtually anyone—can be AWOL, pronounced A-wall. The unexplained or unexcused absence is often trivial.
S.N.A.F.U. (Status Normal: All F*cked Up) The Marines are usually credited with this particular acronym, which originated during World War II. There is some evidence that radio operators came up with the phrase to give humorous meaning to a commonly used set of letters from coded messages. In modern usage, this acronym has essentially the same meaning, lacking only the cynical mocking of commanding officers. (S.U.S.F.U. [Situation Unchained: Still F*cked Up] was coined as a follow-up, but it has largely fallen out of use.
F.U.B.A.R. had several variations of meaning, though “F*cked Up Beyond All Repair” pretty much covers it. Occasionally, it was defined as “F*cked Up By A**holes in the Rear” to express frustration with military command issuing orders from the comfort and safety of their offices well out of harm’s way. Like SNAFU, it originated as military slang during World War II, and it has retained its original meaning in modern slang.
Ambulance Dogs in WWI were sent with medical supplies to find wounded soldiers who could not be otherwise reached. They were also called Mercy Dogs because, very often, all they could do was comfort the dying.
Basket case is used in a fairly lighthearted way today (often describing someone who repeatedly makes stupid mistakes, or who crumbles under pressure), but it has a strange history. Shortly after World War I, rumors circulated of multitudes of soldiers who had been so badly injured that they had to be carried from the battlefield in a barrow or basket, usually having lost all four of their limbs. This belief was so strong that it persists in the public imagination today despite direct evidence to the contrary. In 1919, the Surgeon General of the Army made a public statement that this was not the case, and only one quadruple amputee from the war is known to have survived. Ethelbert Christian lost all four limbs at the Battle of Vimy Ridge in 1917, but he learned how to walk on prosthetics and lived what appears to have been a full and happy life.
Booby-trap has been in use since the mid-19th century for a fairly harmless prank or practical joke. A “booby” was used in English slang to mean a stupid or gullible person as early as the late 17th century. But in WWI, it morphed into meaning an explosive device deliberately disguised as a harmless object. The English journalist Sir Philip Gibbs (1877-1962) said, “the enemy left … slow-working fuses and ‘booby-traps’ to blow a man to bits or blind him for life if he touched a harmless looking stick or opened the lid of a box, or stumbled over an old boot.”
As a nickname for body lice or head lice, cooties first appeared in trenches slang in 1915. It was presumably derived from the coot, a species of waterfowl known for being infested with lice and other parasites. Today it’s a children’s term for an imaginary germ or a repugnant quality transmitted by obnoxious or slovenly people.
In the 19th century, dingbat was used like thingamajig or whatchamacallit as a placeholder for something or someone whose real name the speaker couldn’t come up with at the moment. It came to be used for a clumsy or foolish person during the First World War, before morphing to mean shell-shocked, nervous, or mad. Now it’s used for a stupid or eccentric person.
In a Flap
Unflappable
In British English, “to be in a flap,” meaning “to be worried,” dates from 1916. It was originally a naval expression derived from the restless flapping of birds, but quickly spread into everyday English during the First World War. The adjective unflappable, meaning unflustered or imperturbable, calm in the face of crisis, appeared in the 1950s as a reference to the British Prime Minister Harold Macmillan.
Son of a Gun is generally held to originate as a euphemism for the child of a military father away on a lengthy deployment (and thus somewhat suspicious paternity). In current usage, it is an epithet similar to “son of a bitch,” with positive or negative meanings depending on the speaker.
Brainwashing is a literal translation of the Chinese phrase xi nao, to wash the brain. During the Korean War, military reports estimated that 30% of American prisoners of war collaborated with their Korean and Chinese captors. To explain how this was possible, the media created the term brainwashing: systematic, intensive interrogation techniques and indoctrination procedures used by hostile forces to change allegiances of prisoners of war. The term gradually came to be used to label any change of opinion or allegiance—though it still implies unsavory, unfair, or unethical methods!
Skedaddle, meaning to run away or desert from military service, became popular during the American Civil War. Now it means to leave quickly or hurriedly, to run away. In true American fashion, the etymological origins of this word are a mix of many possible languages or perhaps none at all.
OMG(Oh My God!) is very often used as an abbreviation in electronic communication. The first appearance of OMG was in a sarcastic letter Lord Fisher, a retired Naval Admiral, sent to Winston Churchill in 1917, complaining about the number of knighthoods being bestowed upon Naval officers. It has become so common that people sometimes use it as an acronym when speaking aloud: “ohemgee!”
At the testing site on Bikini Atoll, 1945
Carved into the World War II Memorial in Washington, DC
From a tunnel in Richmond, VA in 2008
Kilroy or Kilroy Was Here might be considered a bit of visual military jargon that has made its way into common use. James Kilroy wrote his name on sections of Navy ships under construction to certify that he’d personally checked the welding. Because his name seemed to be everywhere, British and American service members took to writing it on every surface imaginable in Europe and Asia, most likely as good-luck totem. (The origins of the accompanying long-nosed, bald man are unknown, but it may have started as a British cartoon.) Kilroy is still one of the most commonly graffitied images in the world today, with or without his name.
Bottom line: Word meanings are fluid, so be aware of timeline and context in order to truly understand what the speaker is trying to communicate.
