WHY WOULD I WANT THAT?

According to a survey conducted in October 2022, flowers and plants, as well as beauty products, were some of the most unwanted gifts for Christmas in the United States. Specifically, over 40 percent of surveyed consumers in the U.S. said they would not want to receive presents such as these over the holidays.

Considering all the gift-giving occasions during the year—from birthdays to anniversaries, graduations to weddings, Hanukah and Christmas to Valentine’s Day, baby showers to bridal showers—surely all of us have received unwanted presents. Maybe not the things in the 2022 survey, but something that just doesn’t hit the spot.

But how could you not be delighted with a slobbery, half-chewed squeaky toy?

So what to do? First you give an exasperated sigh, or possibly an eye roll, even a scowl. And then?

Return

Easily done if your gift came with a “gift receipt,” especially if it’s an exchange for a different size or color. But often you can exchange for a totally different item, store credit, or even cash!

Regift

Nearly anything can be happily destroyed as a pet toy, though not always safely.

A choice of long standing. If you don’t do scented candles—or plaid neck scarves, or whatever—someone among your family, friends, or neighbors probably does. You can save it for the next gift-giving occasion, or just ask around for who might be interested. Your trash might be someone else’s treasure.

But be careful if you go this route. You don’t want to risk regifting an item in front of the original giver. Or worse—giving an unwanted item directly back to the original giver!

Redesign

Most easily done with clothes by adding or taking away. Trim, such as bows, ruffles, or lace are simple to change. Open the top of a knit cap and it becomes a neck warmer. Sweaters can become vests. T-shirts or sweatshirts can become undershirts by removing the sleeves. Jeans can become shorts. Etc.

Lots of suggestions are available online.

Repurpose

Ill-fitting socks become chia pets!

When you can’t think of anyone who might want a Christmas ornament of a skull wearing a Santa hat, consider turning it into a Halloween decoration—with or without changing the color of the hat.

Neckties can become headbands. Many cloth items can become quilt pieces, patches, appliqués, pillows, doll clothes. Particularly outrageous items can find a new home in the “dress-up box” for children or cleaning cloths.

Donate

The perfect destination for your boss’s three-volume autobiography

Charity shops are happy to take most good quality gifts. If they’re new, they’ll go for a higher price. Some shops now even log the items you’ve donated and send a letter a few weeks later telling you how much your gifts have raised.

Goodwill takes nearly anything, any time of year.

Libraries are almost always happy to have books, keeping some for their stock and some for the perennial sales tables.

Sell

An especially attractive option if you already offer things on eBay or similar sites. But if you are a novice, before taking the plunge, consider whether it’s worth your time and effort to list, package, and mail for a one-off.

And consider consignment shops! Some specialize (in clothes, for example, or glassware) but many are more varied in their offerings.

Recycle

An option depending on where you live and what the gift is made of.

Toss It

When all else fails, send it to the dump. It’s harsh, and some would say wasteful. But in my opinion, that’s better than cluttering your mental and physical space.

Bottom Line: It’s okay to get rid of gifts that aren’t adding value to your life: donate it, sell it, recycle it. Let go of stuff so you can focus on what’s important in your life. Most people won’t even notice, especially the people who care about you.

GIFT-WRAPPING PRIORITIES

Hemp paper used to wrap gifts two thousand years ago

People of many cultures give more gifts at this time of year than any other. And sometimes, they wrap those gifts! More often than not, actually. Even if you give someone a car (!) you’ll probably go all-out and put a big red bow on top.

People have been wrapping gifts for thousands of years. In China, people used hemp and bamboo paper to wrap gifts as early as the Song Dynasty, in the 2nd century BCE.

But gift wrapping is like housework: different folks have different priorities. And also like housework, it’s better to have done than to be doing!

The Perfectionist

Lots of people (you know who you are) want every gift to be perfectly wrapped—beautiful, inviting, mouth-watering, even. This involves brand new paper, tissue, and ribbons. The pattern of the paper is perfectly aligned. The seams are folded over and creased so that the tape holding them together is invisible. Ribbons are required, wrapped at least once around the package, topped with a splendid bow, often handmade. And they must coordinate the name tags with the paper!

There are many online sources to tell/show you how to do this. Depending on the materials used, this can also be economical and/or environmentally friendly.

The Time-Saver

By contrast, the time-saver buys decorative boxes, tapes the lid on, and adds a name tag—maybe a stick-on bow. For added time-saving, they might even buy gift boxes with a bow already attached!

A close second for fast wrapping is the decorative gift bag: just open and fill. It’s second because the “wrapper” must add tissue paper to obscure the contents until time to open. (Some people skip the tissue and just rely on the bag to keep the surprise. In such cases, gift bags might be the fastest wrapping option!) Tying the handles together is optional, but you might as well, assuming you need to affix a name tag.

Gift bags have the advantage of accommodating oddly-shaped presents, and sometimes combining things in one bag can cut out the need to wrap multiple small items.

Sending gifts can be the biggest time-saver of all: order the gift and have it sent directly to the recipient. Sometimes gift wrapping is available. But the efficiency expert doesn’t really care about that.

Sometimes the time saver might just as well be labeled “easy does it.” A variation on this is gift cards. They need only an envelope, sometimes an address and a stamp. And they cut hours off shopping time.

The Penny-Saver

The penny-wise wrapper saves boxes, bags, bows, ribbons, etc., from one year to the next. Wrapping paper can be trimmed of tape and rough edges and go on indefinitely, wrapping ever-smaller packages. Another money-saving habit is to cut a piece of the wrapping paper to make the name-tag. The frugal wrapper uses as little tape as possible, both to save tape and to mess-up less of the surfaces. (See below for “free” wrapping paper ideas.)

And for a most unusual option: use the paper towel or toilet paper rolls for any gift they can accommodate, fold in the ends, and decorate with markers or stickers. Amazingly, you can use decorative cookie tins to gift more than cookies (or sewing supplies)!

The Eco-Wrapper

The environmentally aware gift-wrapper uses several of the practices mentioned above. Reusing wrapping materials keeps them out of landfills. Shipping gifts directly from the manufacturer saves one whole layer of wrapping materials. And all materials must be recyclable: no glitter or metallic paper, Styrofoam peanuts, plastic ribbons or bows. Alternative materials are also desirable. These include but are not limited to

  • Baskets
  • Fabric (scarf, handkerchief, napkins, kitchen towels, etc.)
  • Old maps or posters
  • Foreign newspapers
  • Comics
  • Catalogues or magazines
  • Sheet music
  • Brown paper grocery bags or lunch bags
  • Re-used boxes from other purchases

These environmentally aware people use minimal packaging altogether, so gift-card envelopes are perfect containers.

Devious Wrappers

For some people, watching the recipient open the gift is a key part of the enjoyment. For others, watching a recipient struggle to open a deviously wrapped gift is even better! These people deliberately wrap gifts to obscure the contents.

  • Covering a box in multiple layers of tape
  • A small box inside a bigger box inside a bigger box inside a bigger box, and so on
  • Including riddles or clues about the gift’s contents on the tag
  • Secreting gifts around the room and instead giving the recipient clues to find them
  • Encasing the gift inside concrete or a welded-shut steel box
  • Using cardboard or wrapping paper to obscure the shape of the gift or make it look like another gift

Alternatives to Wrapped Gifts

Rather than gifts or general gift cards, some people elect to give an “experience” perhaps shared with the giver

  • Tickets to sporting events: baseball, football, basketball, soccer, golf, etc.
  • Ski passes or lift tickets
  • Movie tickets
  • Trips to rock climbing gyms
  • Indoor sky-diving tickets
  • Lottery tickets
  • Passes to a theme park

Some gifts of this type are more than “one off” experiences

  • Museum, zoo, or botanical garden membership
  • Magazine subscription
  • Gym or sports club membership
  • Meal delivery services
  • Season tickets to anything from an amusement park to the theater

When lack of money might otherwise hinder a gift-giver, they may turn to other methods of showing love and appreciation. The giver can even “wrap” these gifts in nice cards or writing them on fancy paper.

  • Providing free child or pet care
  • Gifts of food, whether making future meals or covering a casserole in foil and putting a bow on top
  • Offers to help with housework, transportation, yard chores, cooking, etc.
  • Skilled labor from gifters with particular skills, such as a manicure, massage, tax prep, music lessons, personal training, or anything else the giver can do well
  • A puppy!
    • (Disclaimer: Though adopting a pet can be a great experience, experts recommend everyone in the family choose the pet together. Please do not put an animal in a gift-wrapped box.)

Bottom Line: Beauty, economy, speed, environmental awareness, or deviousness—you don’t have to choose just one!

GIVING

My last several blogs have focused on some pretty negative topics, from disposing of bodies to cannibalism to Friday the 13th. So it’s time for something a little more upbeat. A week ago was Giving Tuesday. And of course, December is a season of giving. So let’s consider gifts.

Ideally, a gift has no strings attached: there is no expectation of payment or anything in return—with the exception of thank-you notes. But we all know that ideal doesn’t always apply. For one thing, there is often an expectation of reciprocity. In addition, there are numerous customary “gift giving occasions” when the expectation of a gift makes it awkward or rude not to give something.  The list of such occasions seems to grow yearly.  Gift giving is a great plot/character device—the feelings of the giver and receiver, the gift chosen, the circumstances.  What follows is an exemplary, not exhaustive list.

  • Birthday
  • Potlatch (Pacific Northwest tribes)
  • Feast of St. Nicholas
  • Easter
  • Feast of St. Basil (Greek Orthodox Christians)
  • Eid al-Fitr (Muslims)
  • Hanukkah (American Jews)
  • Diwali and Pongal (Hinus)
  • Vesak (Buddhists)
  • Kwanzaa (African Americans)
  • Weddings
  • Wedding anniversaries
  • Funerals
  • Births
  • Adoptions
  • Baptisms and Christenings
  • Graduation or passing an examination
  • Father’s Day
  • Mother’s Day
  • Siblings Day
  • Gift exchange between host and guest
  • Retirement
  • Congratulations
  • Engagements
  • Housewarming
  • Baby showers
  • St. Valentine’s Day
  • And, of course, Christmas

If the above list doesn’t meet your gift-giving inclinations, you can always observe any number of National [Insert Holiday Here] Day dates throughout the year.

  • National Be Kind to Lawyers Day (2nd Tuesday in April)
  • World Veterinary Day (last Saturday in April)
  • Teacher’s Day (May 6)
  • Grandparent’s Day (first Sunday after Labor Day)
  • Mother-in-Law Day (October 26)
  • Halloween
  • 4th of July
  • Administrative Professionals Day (last week in April)
  • National Video Game Day (September 12th)
  • International Nurses’ Day (May 12th)
  • National Siblings Day (April 10th)
  • Cousins’ Day (July 24th)

Although in the U.S. we think of gifts as coming packaged, with a ribbon, and probably a card, consider alternatives. Can a phone call be a gift? How about a service, such as weeding the flower bed? Transportation to an appointment? Offering to edit a colleague’s document?  What constitutes a gift of the heart?

Promotional gifts are given to customers, clients, or employees. Mostly they serve provide advertising and/or goodwill purposes. AND they are tax deductible as business expenses. 

Writers, consider dangerous gifts

Are there legal issues for gifts?  Of course there are. Legally, a gift must be given as a gift (no expectation of reciprocation) and delivered to the recipient. In the U.S. (along with some other countries) gifts beyond a certain monetary amount are subject to a gift tax. In the U.S., that monetary value is $15,000 from one person to one person in a given year. Anything above that value means that tax issues must be considered, if only in terms of paperwork.

There is no limit on number of such gift can be given per year. But there is a lifetime exclusion (meaning all gifts to all people) of $11.58 million as of 2020. If this matters to you, “Congratulations!”

 But, writers, consider your characters!

And consider when a gift can be considered a bribe. If there is an explicit or implicit understanding between the giver and the recipient that the recipient will do something—often illegal or against company guidelines—because of the “gift,” we’re talking bribery, even if it isn’t actionable. Government agencies and some businesses have strict rules concerning gift giving/receiving. Sometimes, it’s just a matter of avoiding the appearance of impropriety.

Unwanted gifts can occur in any category, for any occasion. Such gifts are often regifted, donated to charity, or thrown away. An unwanted gift that is a burden to the recipient in terms of care, maintenance, storage, or disposal costs is a a white elephant. 

Sometimes unwanted gifts are returned or exchanged. The day after Christmas is the busiest day for this. And estimated $3.4 billion was spent on unwanted Christmas gifts in the United States in 2017.  Surprisingly, the value of unused gift cards purchased in the U.S. each year is estimated to total about a billion dollars.  Why?  How could a gift card be unwanted? 

Writers: what about your plot or your character would lead to unused gift cards? Could it be a clue? A character note?

As the biggest gift-giving occasion of the year, Christmas gives us (and us writers) the opportunity to consider myriad possibilities for the POV character, whether giver or recipient.

Gift Giving Then and Now, Here and There

Gift Giving

This post is part of a series that might be characterized as Darwin’s Christmas. I will be taking a number of our current traditions and tracing their evolution.

The earliest gift-bringer I read about was Odin, a Pagan Germanic god who is thought to have influenced concepts of Father Christmas in numerous ways, including long white beard and riding through the night sky.

blue Santa Claus figurines related to Odin
Odin’s influence is seen in blue Santas

Odin wore a blue-hooded cloak and rode through the midwinter sky on an eight-footed horse named Sleipnir, visiting his people with gifts. According to pre-Christian Norse tradition, he entered through chimneys or fire holes on the solstice.

In 16th century England (during the reign of Henry VIII), Father Christmas was pictured as a large man in green or scarlet robes lined with fur. He was associated more with good cheer, peace, joy, good food and wine, and revelry.

Father Christmas merged with St. Nicholas (Sinterklaas), which morphed into Santa Claus. Suffice it to say that most people around the world have a tradition of a Christmas gift-bringer: Santa Claus, St. Nicholas, Father Christmas, Christkind, the Wise Men, an old gift-giving witch called Befana (in Italy). In Scandinavia a jolly elf named Jultomten delivered gifts in a sleigh drawn by goats. And in Russia, an elderly woman named Babouschka (grandmother) leaves gifts by children’s bedsides on January 5th.

figurines of Santas around the world
Representations of Santas around the world, L-R: Hungary, 1884; Austria, 1904; Russia, 1903; Canada, 1930; U.S.A., 1935; Mexico, 1923; U.S.A., 1925; Holland, 1920.

Presents are left in different places. In much of Europe, presents are left in shoes or boots put out by the children. In Italy, the UK, and the USA presents are left in stockings—and, of course, under the Christmas tree.

Presents are opened on different days as well. Children in Holland often receive the earliest presents, on December 5th for St. Nicholas’ Eve. On St. Nicholas’ Day (6th of December), children in Belgium, Germany, Czech Republic, and some other European countries open some of their presents. Christmas Day (25th of December) is the most popular gift day for the UK, USA, Japan, and many other countries. The last presents are opened on Epiphany, January 6th, especially in Catholic countries such as Spain and Mexico.

gift-giving-santa-figurine-with-stack-of-gifts

Who gets presents has shifted dramatically over the centuries. Odin gave presents to “his people.” St. Nicholas gave to the poor. According to the Christian Science Monitor, in early modern Europe, gift giving also had roots in Christmas begging, when bands of young men, often rowdy, would wassail from house to house, demanding handouts from the gentry. It wasn’t till the mid-1800s that gift-giving shifted from the poorer classes to children.

On the other hand, giving gifts to heads of state, kings and queens, emperors, etc, pre-dates the birth of Jesus.

Today, it seems everybody gives gifts to everybody—an impression strongly supported by advertising and merchant specials! Christmas begging from charities is rampant. Salvation Army kettles (which first appeared in 1891) are on sidewalks all over the world.  Employers often give actual gift baskets or holiday bonuses. Co-workers, neighbors, and friends exchange gifts. Parents give gifts to children, but people also give gifts to parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings and step siblings, and second cousins twice removed.

wrapped gifts

By now, all the glittery wrappings are probably torn asunder, the gifts put away, exchanged, maybe saved for re-gifting, and the leavings look more like this.

gifts unwrapped

And I’m left wondering, how many Christmas presents are gifts and how many are perceived obligations.