My friend and colleague Kathleen Corcoran sent me an archaic word.
Spuddle(v)
To work feebly and ineffectively because your mind is elsewhere or you haven’t quite woken up yet.
To make a lot of fuss about trivial things, as if it were important.
To work tirelessly without achieving anything of worth. To put in a great deal of effort and achieve only very little.
To loosen and dig up stubble and weeds left after a harvest with a broadshare or similar device.
I took one look at it and said, “That’s got to be one of the best, most useful words ever!” Indeed, I’ve been spuddling for years.
So began my search for old, forgotten, seldom used, and archaic words and phrases that need to take (or retake) their rightful places in our written and the spoken vocabularies.
Autophoby (n) Fear of referring to oneself, usually exhibited by a reluctance to use the pronouns I or me.
Trug (n) A shallow basket made from strips of wood for carrying flowers or vegetables.
Ultra-crepidarian(n) A person who expresses opinions on things outside the scope of his/her knowledge or expertise. Can also be an adjective.
Whinge(v) To complain persistently and in a peevish or irritating way.
Bottom Line: Linguists say you can make any word, even an obscure or archaic word, your own by repeating it aloud five times and using it in a sentence every day for a week.
Every year, recommendations for “beach reading” or “summer reading” turn up everywhere. Sometimes, it’s just a list of what’s on some famous person’s summer list (like Rashida Jones, Bill Gates, or the faculty of Harvard Law School). For example, Barack Obama’s list got a lot of attention this year, and may have given a significant boost to “Southern noir” writer S. A. Cosby’sRazorblade Tears.
But do many people really look for—or follow—such reading suggestions? I, for one, am not a seasonal—or locational—reader. And I don’t personally know such people, either.
Once again I spent a great beach week with family, thirteen people ages 13 to 91. And here—in no particular order—are the books being read.*
* The four teenagers really didn’t contribute much this year! ** Necessary when someone is enrolled in an online master’s program. *** Evidence that a series reader was on a roll.
Bottom line: Anything can be read anywhere, any season. “Beach reading” goes well beyond the beach. What are you reading now?
There are lots of ways to determine how a fictional character will react in any given situation. Generally, an author has some idea of how the main characters will behave during the major plot points. However, one of the keys to making a story believable is writing actions and reactions that make sense.
To get details of a very different system of understanding motivations, I talked with Angela Johns, BCBA, LBA, about her work as a Behavior Analyst.
Four Primary Functions
When a person (or animal) performs an action, that action fulfills one of four basic functions. A behavioral analysis therapist works to change behavior patterns by identifying the function and substituting the unwanted behavior with a more acceptable behavior that meets the same function.
Attention
from Portland Center Stage
When the Bennets attend the Netherfield Ball, Mary Bennet wants attention and praise, so she takes over the piano and embarrasses her family by playing and singing rather obnoxiously. Mary gets negative attention and lukewarm praise, but her original need for attention has still been met. (Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen)
Access to Tangible Rewards
Santiago, having finally caught a fish, would quite like to keep that fish. The story is filled with metaphor and lovely language, but Santiago ultimately holds on to the fishing line because he wants to reel in and keep the marlin that he caught. (The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway)
Sensory or Automatic
Dr. Polyakov initially takes morphine to relieve pain in his stomach. Later, he takes morphine to alleviate the despair and heartache of his life. As the addiction becomes worse, he takes morphine because he becomes unable to function without it. (“Morphine” by Mikhail Bulgakov)
Escape or Avoidance
While waiting for Odysseus to return to Ithaca, Penelope delayed giving in to any of the suitors badgering her by claiming she had to weave a burial shroud for her father-in-law, Laertes. Every night, she unwove the portion she’d woven during the day. She managed to avoid either giving in to any of the suitors or giving any of them a pretense for starting a war. (The Odyssey by Homer)
“We Work Ourselves Out of a Job”
A behavioral analysis expert will work with a patient (and caregivers) to adjust behaviors by identifying which function an unwanted behavior fulfills and substituting another behavior that meets the same function. For example, raising a hand for attention from a teacher rather than shouting in class.
As Johns put it, “The whole point of us [behavioral analysts] is to work ourselves out of a job.”
They do this by observing the behavior (often in a patient’s home), looking at the antecedents, defining the consequences, and determining the function. Experts work with patients to reduce harmful behaviors, establish beneficial habits, focus at school, improve communications, and a variety of other goals.
Behavioral analysis experts primarily work with autistic patients, but applied behavioral analysis also serves a role in everything from fitness training to consumer spending research.
Fictional Behavioral Analysis
Sometimes behavioral antecedents are easily identified.
An author can use a similar technique to create believable motivations for a character’s actions. Identify which behavior is needed to advance the plot or set up a situation, then create circumstances that will trigger that behavior. Rather than identifying antecedents, an author has the luxury of creating antecedents.
If the clue to identifying a murderer is in the kitchen, make the character hungry so they’ll go in search of food.
If a character needs to go to jail for theft, that character first needs a reason for the theft, even if that reason is kleptomania or greed.
Perhaps a character spills their soul to a new acquaintance because they are looking for attention.
Maybe someone lights a cigarette so they don’t have to answer uncomfortable questions.
Stories don’t make much sense (and aren’t much fun to read) if characters do things for no reason.
When “addiction” comes up, it’s most often in the context of the “Big Three”: alcohol, tobacco, or drugs. But gambling can be an addiction, too. According to the National Council on Problem Gambling (2020), in the United States approximately 2 million adults have a “gambling disorder” (i.e., addiction) and another 4-6 million struggle with problem gambling. As of May 2, 2022, according to therecoveryvillage.com, that figure is as many as 10 million.
We watch lots of TV sports in this house, especially MASN (Mid-Atlantic Sports Network), CBS Richmond, and who knows how many other channels. And what I’ve noticed is that sporting events are riddled with commercials for “risk-free” on-line betting. During baseball games, they pop up every half inning!
By risk-free, I mean that upon enrollment, the bettor gets anywhere from $200 to $2000 to gamble without fear of losing actual money. Just imagine the scene: a bunch of people watching the game, knocking back a few, and deciding as a group, “Why not?”
Internet access and online betting platforms and games of chance can only increase the likelihood of developing gambling problems. According to a combination of national studies, 1 in 20 college students are compulsive gamblers, more than twice the rate of the overall adult population. “Some studies indicate that 23% of college students report gambling online, with 6% doing so weekly.” (therecoveryvillage.com) The American Psychiatric Association has identified Internet Gaming Disorder as a “condition warranting more clinical research and experience” before including it in the next edition of Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.
Candy Crush isn’t a gambling game, but the micro-transactions in it (buying extra lives) have a similar effect on the brain as gambling and may be priming players for development of later gambling addictions.
The trend of micro-transactions in video games has also contributed to online gambling addictions. Players exchange real-world money for virtual rewards in the game, often starting at less than a dollar (hence the micro-” descriptor). Studies show that players who purchase loot boxes or in-game currency and engage in risky behaviors within games are more likely to develop gambling addictions. This might be a case of correlation rather than causation, and the limited sample size makes research difficult.
Probably not coincidence: per a 2018 study by WalletHub, the most gambling-friendly state in the US, Nevada, also had the highest rate of gambling addiction. (Once upon a time I was shocked to find slot-machines right next to the condom machines in women’s toilets.)
As with alcohol, tobacco, and prescription drugs, gambling is usually not illegal (laws vary greatly among states, and online gambling is even more complicated). And as with the Big Three, many people who are diagnosable as addicts don’t recognize/rationalize their behaviors. Only 21% of incarcerated people assessed as having gambling addiction thought their gambling was problematic.
Also like the Big Three, 69% of adolescent gambling addicts started gambling before age 12, and the earlier the onset, the greater the severity.
Gambling alters many of the same brain circuits in the same way as drugs
Pathological gamblers display genetic predispositions for impulsivity and reward seeking
Gambling releases dopamine
Gamblers lose sensitivity to their highs leading to riskier behavior
Between 2% and 7% of Parkinson’s patients are compulsive gamblers
Why be concerned?
Unlike the Big Three, gambling doesn’t directly cause physical health problems. So what’s the big deal? Aside from the risk of financial ruin, gambling addiction is also associated with:
Domestic violence
Children who are more likely to develop depression, substance abuse, and behavioral problems
Criminal activity to get money for gambling, reported by 80-90% of people attending Gamblers Anonymous, including stealing from family and work and writing bad checks
Being arrested seven times as often as on-gamblers
Increased risk for alcohol or drug dependency
Overall worse mental health
Warning signs
Gambling as a distraction from problems
Gambling to feel better (There’s actually a chemical basis for this in the brain’s reward systems.)
Hiding gambling from loved ones
Feeling guilty or ashamed after gambling
Treatment options are parallel to the Big Three:
Residential
Outpatient
Self-help (Gamblers Anonymous)
Medications used to treat substance abuse, some anti-depressants
No one can know when humans first used personal names. The only thing we can be sure of is that when there was a need, names emerged—personal names first, of course. As long as people lived in small enough groups, seldom traveling more than fifteen miles and delivering messages in person, single names were sufficient. But as populations grew, greater distinctions needed to be made.
This receipt for barley shipments contains the signature of the first person in history whose name we know: Kushim, the accountant.
World Names
According legend, Fuxi Feng first gave people names, including family names.
Records of Chinese family names date back at least 3,000 years, and were standardized during the Qin Dynasty. The Amorite and Aramean tribes in Mesopotamia used a combination of patronymic and tribal nisbas nearly 4,000 years ago. Ancient Romans gave their male children three names: a personal name (praenomen), a family name (nomen gentilicium), and a descriptor of their particular branch of the family tree (cognomen).
The Armenian military may have been responsible for reintroducing family names in Europe after the fall of the Roman Empire. In Europe, last names came into use in the Middle Ages and were well established by the end of the 16th century. According to some sources, the oldest surname known to have been recorded anywhere in Europe was in County Galway, Ireland, in 916: O’Cleirigh (O’Clery), meaning “descended from the clerk/cleric.”
J.N.Hook, author of Family Names, identified four categories that were the source of almost all English and European surnames:
Possibly not the Keeper of the Park my ancestors had in mind… (a Sagittarius serpentarius at Jurong Bird Park)
Place Names:
John Hill, John Atwater.
Often O’ indicated from, as in Odell or Offield
Patronyms (or others based on personal names)
John Johnson, John Williams, John Alexander.
Often a prefix or ending meaning “son of” or “daughter of” was later dropped
Occupational Names
John Smith, John Fletcher
My family name Parker is of English origin, from Old French meaning “keeper of the park.”
Today the most popular of the names derived from occupations is—no surprise here—Smith,
Descriptive Names
John Long, John Armstrong
The family name Brown is thought to have come from an early family member who had brown hair or brown eyes or dressed habitually in brown.
American Names
Robyn Smith runs the fascinating genealogy website ReclaimingKin, specializing in researching slavery and enslaved ancestors.
Enslaved black people before the American Civil War often used only first names, sometimes bestowed by by the slave holder. After Emancipation, bureaucracies required last names, so newly freed blacks chose last names. Often they chose names common at the time, such as the ubiquitous Smith, sometimes the name of the former “master” or the plantation itself.
According to afro.com, Washington being the “blackest name” is a matter of speculation, but it was very common after the Civil War. One possibility is that George Washington’s name was chosen because of his widely-known gesture of freeing his slaves in his will. A project based on the 2000 census counted 163,036 people with the surname Washington; 90% of those identified as Black.
By comparison, in raw numbers, Smith is the whitest last name, although only 70.9% of Smiths identify as white. But by proportion, there are several names over 90%: for example, 94.76% of people named Olson identify as white, as do 94.84% of those named Meyer, 95.15% of Schmidts, 95.35% of Schneiders, and 95.93% of those named Schwartz. Hmmm. Pattern?
Sometimes, names change spelling within families. For example, my maternal grandmother’s family name was Wine or Wyne, depending on how the midwife/doctor chose to spell it! Sometimes immigrants to the U.S. with “foreign” names ended up with changed spelling for the same reason—i.e., the ignorance of a local school or tax official. And of course, sometimes a person (or branch) of a family chose to shorten or anglicize a name, turning Robertson into Roberts, or Makowski into Makosky.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau (CB), there are at least 151,671 different last names in this country and at least 5,163 different first names in common use. The number of combinations is mind-boggling!
The ten most common last/family names now:
Johnson C Smith University 1936 Women’s Basketball Team
Smith
Johnson
Williams
Brown
Jones
Garcia
Miller
Davis
Rodriguez
Martinez
Over the last 100 years, the most common male name was John, closely followed by James. The most common female name was Mary, followed not-so-closely by Patricia (~ half as many).
Surprise? Not so much. Since 1530, the most popular “full” names in English-speaking countries are John and Mary Smith! John Smith is so common that Thesaurus.com incudes the following synonyms for that name: average joe, average person, common man, everyman, joe blow, joe doakes, joe sixpack, john q. public, man in the street, mr. nobody, ordinary joe.
Here are the ten rarest last names in the US, as of the 2010 Census (the most recent analysis available). You can go to rarest.org for more detail about each of these names.
Brett Banasiewicz, a BMX racer
Atonal
Banasiewicz
Guillebeaux
Mosheyev
Panchak
Ragsdill
Stawarski
Duckstein
Bombardo
Tuffin
As of the 2020 census, more than 4 million people in the US had unique last names.
FYI, there are 238 in the U.S. actually named John Doe. (Only 18 are named Jane Doe.) By far the most common use of these names are as place holder names when the actual name is either unknown or secret, especially in legal contexts.
Who would hang that name on a child? Probably the same sort of person who would name a child Ima Hogg (a real woman, daughter of James Hogg, governor of Texas from 1890 to 1894) or Charles Brown, or take a stage name of Candy Barr (as Juanita Dale Slusher did). Ancestry.com even reports 4 birth records for Scarlett O’Hara.
My Family’s Names
A woman in my family named Evon has never met another person with her name—and there’s a reason for that: according to the Social Security Administration (SSA) database, there are only 1.05 Evons per 100K. Vivian, however, comes up 35.97 times per 100K.
I’ve known for decades that women in my family have rare (usually middle) names, including Wavalene, Utor, Valeeta, Genilee, Alta, Vinnie… Most of those names haven’t passed from generation to generation. Not unusual.
All my life I’ve believed that Vivian means “likes bright and vivid colors.” Writing this blog on names, I found that it is of Latin origin, meaning “lively”—close, but still… The name has stood the test of time since the 1800s. Variations include Vivien, Vivienne, Viviana. And in England Vivian is a man’s name. You can probably name several famous Vivians, including Vivian Leigh, but Campbell, Balakrishnan, Woodward, Fuchs, Galbraith, Dsena, Blake, Anderson, Van Damm, are among famous male Vivians.
So, Vivian is a gender non-specific name. My birth middle name, Jean, turns out to be a feminine version of John. Little did I know. And when I named my daughter Daryl, I didn’t realize the ambiguity until a neighbor asked my new baby’s name (Daryl Jean) and then followed up by asking how much he weighed. And now I’ve learned that Darryl is among the names most likely to be perceived as a black male.
Bottom line: This blog started broad and funneled down to the personal. I hope something in it is interesting, enlightening, or in some way relevant!
Nazur, lucky pendants to ward off the evil eye. A Turkish shopkeeper told me, “They are a lightning rod. The nazur takes the curse away from you and puts it somewhere safe.” (Nazur pendants outside Cappadocia, Turkey)
For more hand signs used to attract good luck or ward off bad luck, check out my post on Thumbs!
“If I didn’t have bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all.” How often have you heard that? When it’s better to have no luck at all, what’s a person to do?
Is it possible to change one’s luck?
Note: the following not-exhaustive lists were compiled from articles in Wikipedia, on history.com, at liveabout.com, mom.com
Warding Off Bad Luck
Carrying a 4-leaf cloverreveals fairies hiding behind flowers, allowing one to prevent the mischief they could do. Some species of clover all have four leaves, but those have no power. The powerful 4-leaf clover is a mutant of the 3-leaf clover, occurring approximately 1 in 10,000. To know you’ve found a true four-leaf clover, look for one leaflet that’s smaller than the others. If all four leaflets are the same size, you are probably looking at the wrong variety of clover.
Lucky rabbit foot: The original legend says that the left hind foot of a rabbit that is captured in a cemetery at night can ward off evil magic. These amulets definitely do not ward off bad luck for the rabbit!
Romans were very superstitious, and a lot of that superstition centered on reproductive organs.
Soldiers carved phallic totems for good luck and protection from Pompeii to Hadrian’s Wall.
According to the ancient writer Marcus Terentius Varro, Roman boys were even known to wear fascinus (winged penis) amulets around their necks to prevent harm from coming to them.
It was once thought that giving someone an evil eye (what might be called a stink eye these days) could cause all manner of bad, from mental illness to physical ailments.
People used evil eye talismans, or nazur (from Arabic نَظَر), to ward off the bad luck caused by these curses. Popular and beautiful evil eye talismans from Turkey use glass beads or discs with alternating blue and white circles. These are still widely in use in Turkey.
Some cultures use a hand with an eye in its center for protection.
Others use blue or green beads.
Attracting Good Luck
Lucky Animals
The Chinese word for bat means “good luck.” Bats are seen as a sign of a long and healthy life. Some Chinese wear bat amulets to bring good fortune. Bats on greeting cards mean the sender is wising the recipient wellness and success.
Bears have been revered by both Native American and Siberian cultures. They are seen as good luck because a single bear carcass can feed a family/group for a long time. They were thought to have supernatural powers of good, based on being able to hibernate through the winter. Siberians believed that the bear was an incarnation of their god.
Goldfish are one of the eight sacred symbols of Buddha, representing fertility, abundance, and harmony. Ancient Greeks though goldfish brought good luck to marriage. Egyptians kept them in their homes “to add positivity to domestic situations.”
Greek, Celtic, Egyptian, and East Indian people all see a bull as a powerful force. It is said to be a sign of positive things from good health to wealth. The Greeks looked upon the bull as a master of love and fertility.
The deer is another symbol of Chinese good luck. The word for deer, “lu,” means “income.” Often the deer symbolizes luck, success, longevity and prosperity, and the hope for a long and healthy life.
In India, the elephant is seen as a bringer of fortune and wealth.
The frog is a good-luck symbol for many cultures that depend on rain for rich and bountiful crops. Others see frogs as a symbol of fertility, transformation and safe travel.
Ladybugs: In German-speaking countries, they are literally called lucky bugs, “Glueckskaefer.” Some cultures say that if a ladybug lands on you and you don’t brush it off, your luck will improve. The deeper red their color and the more spots they have, the luckier you’ll be!
Because lizards are mainly nocturnal, they have become a symbol for good vision and protection against the unseen things in life.
Chinese lore says that pigs bring good luck to business dealings.
In Korea, the swallow is considered a sign of good luck thanks to the story of Heungbu and Nolbu. According to the story, a sparrow rewarded a kind deed with prosperity.
Egyptians looked at beetles, specifically the Egyptian scarab beetle, as lucky. These beetles wrap their eggs in mud and use the sun for incubation. Because of this ability to always find new life through the sun, Egyptians saw the scarab as a transmitter of luck.
Other Lucky Talismans
Horseshoes are one of the oldest of lucky talismans, and there are varied legends associated with their strength. Suffice it to say that hanging a horseshoe on or above a door is still popular. Make sure that the points face up, making a U so that the horseshoe can fill with luck. Hanging the other way will allow all the luck to run out. Irish brides often carry a horseshoe instead of bouquet on their wedding day.
“Lucky bamboo” is actually a close relative called Dracaena. It’s hardy and long-lived, which might account for its reputation as lucky. The more stalks a lucky bamboo plant has, the more luck it brings. A plant with three stalks is said to bring happiness, wealth, and longevity.
During World War II, fighter pilots carried a variety of lucky charms with them in the hopes of tipping the odds in their favor and coming back alive. Gambling items like cards and dice were popular. Deccofelt Corp started marketing fuzzy dice to hang on the rearview mirrors of cars in 1959.
A “Fumsups” (“thumbs-up”)is a tiny cherub-faced doll giving the lucky thumbs-up with both hands. They had metal bodies and wooden heads that allowed their owner to “touch wood” or “knock on wood” for good fortune. Fumsups were most popular during World War I, when they were given to soldiers. Some versions had a four-leaf clover painted on the doll’s head for an extra dose of good fortune.
Hangman’s noose. The ropes were so valuable that hangmen were even known to cut them into pieces for sale as good luck charms. Sick people wrapped the ropes around their heads to cure headaches and fevers. This talisman was highly popular among gamblers and cardsharps. Other souvenirs of hangings were also considered lucky, but weren’t as reliably available.
A caul is a piece of amniotic membrane that covers the face of newborn babies, albeit rarely. From ancient Rome till the 19th C, it was widely believed that having a piece of one would bring its owner good fortune, confer eloquence, good health and financial success. They were so prized that midwives were known to steal them.
Bezoars are hardened, pearl-like clumps of indigestible matter that sometimes form in the stomach lining of animals. Around 1000 A.D., the stones became known as good luck charms throughout Europe and Asia. Bezoar stones were often mounted in elaborate gold settings or worn as protective amulets, but they were also prized for their supposed curative powers: an antidote to poisons and a cure for many other ailments including epilepsy, dysentery and the plague.
Meaning “the Hand of God,” the Hamsa(from Hebrew חַמְסָה and Arabic خمسة) is a symbol many people in North Africa and Asia Minor have used to ward off the “evil eye” and dark spiritual forces. It is also thought to bring the wearer strength and blessings.
Wearing a gem set in jewelry is used as a shield of protection to ward off troubles and bring happiness. Gems and minerals each are reputed to have specific beneficial properties, so consult a book of stones or search online for info about your favorite stones. (I’ve written more specifics about thisbefore.)
Dreamcatchers are made with a web or net stretched over a loop and decorated with bright beads and feathers. They are said to catch bad dreams as they enter a household. By capturing disturbing dreams, they make the owner happier, more balanced, and luckier. Dreamcatchers can be used as wall art, earrings, etc.
Because of its association with the Norse god Odin, the acorn has come to symbolize wisdom. Acorns also signify fertility, youth, and prosperity. The Norse believed that acorns could bring divine protection and placed them in the windows of their homes to ward off lightning.
Portents of Things to Come
Bad
Seeing a lizard scurrying away is a sign for you to flee trouble as well, before it occurs.
Black cat crossing one’s path signals catastrophe to come.
Breaking a mirror causes seven years of bad luck.
Walking under a ladder disrupts the Christian Holy Trinity, leading to divine retribution.
For the ancient Saxon people, spotting a rabbit was a sign of the spring to come.
Seeing a rainbow, especially a double one, brings prosperity or peace, depending on the setting.
Seeing an albatross portends good luck for sailors.
According to legend, shaking a chimney sweep’s hand or passing one on the street is a harbinger of good fortune. The tradition is especially associated with weddings, so it’s particularly auspicious for couples to encounter chimney sweeps immediately after leaving the church. (Modern British chimney sweeps often supplement their income by hiring themselves out to wedding parties!)
We learn from Gay that the Lady-fly is used by the vulgar in E., in a similar manner for the purpose of divination. “This lady-fly I take from the grass Whose spotted back might scarlet red surpass? Fly, lady-bird; north, south, or east or west Fly where the man is found that I love best”. from The Shepherd’s Week by John Gay, 1714
Birds can symbolize many things to many people. Groups of nests, flight patterns, dropped feathers, spots on eggs, etc. mean all sorts of good or bad luck, depending on the setting. For more details, check out mypreviousblogsonBirds!
Find a penny, pick it up, all the day you’ll have good luck—but only if it’s heads up. Tails up, find a penny, let it lay (or give it away) or bad luck you’ll have all day. Some people say that this is true; after all, any coin lying on the ground is luck.
All the lucky talismans you could need, together in Greece for your shopping convenience.
Bottom Line: Talismans to bring luck and/or ward off bad luck are so varied, most people could accumulate dozens. Do they work? I could not say. They may be nothing more than a self-fulfilling prophecy, causing confidence boosts and selective confirmations. But as a scientist, I urge you to give them a try. If you do, and they make no difference, you’ve lost nothing. On the other hand, if they can make a difference and you ignore them, you’ve missed a chance big time.
That I’m not the next King, Atwood, or Gabaldon became apparent years ago, but I’ve kept writing. That’s how I realized I write to feed my soul, not to put food on the table.
It then follows that I don’t write this blog to sell goods or services. That said, do feel free to buy any/all of my four books!
Over the years, I’ve shared all the advice I have at least once. Plus, there are whole books dedicated to instruction, tips, and prompts.
Research is sometimes the most fun part of writing!
More recently, I’ve focused on potentially useful—and generally interesting, at least to me—information. Thus, I’ve researched such diverse topics as the prices of human body parts on the black market and Shiva Lingam, a sacred stone of India.
I’m an educator by training and profession. For me, perhaps the most enjoyable aspect of blogging is researching new information, and then sharing it with others. In that sense, my target audience is the world.
My blogs avoid politics and religion. I have strong feelings on both, but blogging about them feels like proselytizing. Sharing views and opinions seems better left to dinner with family and friends—some of them, anyway!
But sometimes the line gets blurred. For example, the story of the Ohio ten-year-old who had to go to Indiana to get an abortion has filled the news recently. Doubts about this story initially abounded (now thoroughly debunked), but it turned out to be heart-breakingly true.
However, reports of child (even infant) sexual abuse are all too common. According to the WHO, “Approximately 12 million girls aged 15–19 years and at least 777,000 girls under 15 years give birth each year.” Research by the CDC has found, “In 2009, approximately 410,000 teens aged 15-19 years gave birth in the United States, and the teen birth rate remains higher than in other developed countries.” Can child pregnancy really be that rare?
F.Y.I., Lina Marcela Medina de Jurado, born 23 September 1933, is a Peruvian woman who became the youngest confirmed mother in history when she gave birth aged five years, seven months, and 21 days.
Perhaps it is apparent that I don’t put a premium on optimizing my blog. (See last week’s guest blog on how to do that by Kathleen Corcoran.) Sometimes long sentences and long words are appropriate, even necessary! And I doubt many 11-15 year-olds (theoretically the target audience for all online writing) read my blogs, so why dumb-down the vocabulary?
BOTTOM LINE: Who knows which of my weekly blogs might interest you? Check out some of my past entries just in case!
Blog optimization cares nothing for lightning or lightning bugs.
Among other services, WordPress offers SEO (Search Engine Optimization) analysis and optimization. These are, essentially, writing guidelines to draw readers to a webpage and then to make that webpage easier to read.
When every website bristles with ads (or is itself an ad), the primary goal of any author must be to drive traffic to a website, whatever that traffic may be. Disseminating information, discussing ideas, arguing viewpoints, and every other method of communication becomes monetized. Some might argue that this is why so much of online content today looks the same.
When a reader types a question or phrase into the search bar of Google, Bing, Duckduckgo, or any other search engine, the algorithms of that search engine sort possible results based on how likely they are to provide the answer.
Title
“Clickbait” is the phenomenon of ambiguously or misleadingly titling an article for the sole purpose of convincing readers to visit a webpage. Social media accounts have popped up just to point out the silliness of these titles, often with hilarious results.
Search Engine Optimization begins with the title of a webpage. Ideally, the title of a website should be six to ten words, with 10% uncommon words and at least one “power word.”
Emotionally triggering headlines drive more traffic to a website. The more strongly emotional a headline is, the more effectively it brings readers to a page.
Even within the headline, word percentages come into play. Analysts have sat down and worked out the figures for how many uncommon words, how many common words, how many positive and negative and neutral words are most likely to convince a web searcher to click on a link.
Titles By the Numbers
6-10 words
First 3 words are most important
10-15% emotional words
20-30% common words
10-15% uncommon words
At least one power word
Sentiment positive or negative, never neutral
Lists and how-to articles are the most effective
Keywords
My Favorite Key Words!
The other method search engines use to determine how well a webpage fits a query is to look for keywords. In order to reach the most viewers, writers are encouraged to create and use particular key words and phrases throughout the text.
This is similar to an essay’s thesis or an operatic motif. Of course, there are numbers for optimization of keywords.
Humans process information differently when reading on a screen than when reading on a page. Scrolling text creates different memory maps than turning pages. Serif fonts register more easily in print; sans serif fonts register more easily on a screen.
Beyond the physical, readability optimization focuses on how easily a reader can absorb the information presented on a website. Online, readers tend to skim information and look for particular words or phrases rather than reading thoroughly.
Very easy to read. Easily understood by an average 11-year-old student.
90.0–80.0
6th grade
Easy to read. Conversational English for consumers.
80.0–70.0
7th grade
Fairly easy to read.
70.0–60.0
8th & 9th grade
Plain English. Easily understood by 13- to 15-year-old students.
60.0–50.0
10th to 12th grade
Fairly difficult to read.
50.0–30.0
College
Difficult to read.
30.0–10.0
College graduate
Very difficult to read. Best understood by university graduates.
10.0–0.0
Professional
Extremely difficult to read. Best understood by university graduates.
They based the scores on a formula derived from the number of words in a sentence and the number of syllables in each word.
Once again, everything is reduced to numerical value. Breaking up blocks of text into smaller paragraphs or adding pictures makes it easier for a person reading a screen to glance through a text and pick out information. However, none of this information actually measures the quality of writing.
Text By the Numbers
Breaking text up with sub-headings, calculated per 300 words
Readability score, calculated by average number of words per sentence and syllables per word, recommended between 60-70
Once a reader has ventured beyond the title and the keywords, they must confront the actual writing on the page. Again, SEO has all the answers! Some of this is common writing advice, such as varying sentence structure and avoiding passive voice.
When everyone writes by the numbers, driven by selling, I have to wonder how much the actual writing quality and style suffer. News outlets and health information present information formulated to drive in visitors rather than to educate. Bloggers deliberately trigger emotional responses for the sake of increasing ad revenue. How much real skill and work goes into crafting articles, stories, arguments, or any other accumulation of words when everything can be decided by formula and reduced to the lowest common denominator (or at least to 13-15 year olds)?
Today’s blog entry was written by Kathleen Corcoran, a local harpist, writer, editor, ESL teacher, luthier, favorite auntie, turtle lover, canine servant, and rapidly developing curmudgeon.
Un-Optimized Optimus Prime
Just for the sake of playing with this page’s readability score, I present to you the beginning of “In Search of Lost Time” by Marcel Proust. This sentence has a Fleisch-Kincaide readability score of -515.1.
“But I had seen first one and then another of the rooms in which I had slept during my life, and in the end I would revisit them all in the long course of my waking dream: rooms in winter, where on going to bed I would at once bury my head in a nest, built up out of the most diverse materials, the corner of my pillow, the top of my blankets, a piece of a shawl, the edge of my bed, and a copy of an evening paper, all of which things I would contrive, with the infinite patience of birds building their nests, to cement into one whole; rooms where, in a keen frost, I would feel the satisfaction of being shut in from the outer world (like the sea-swallow which builds at the end of a dark tunnel and is kept warm by the surrounding earth), and where, the fire keeping in all night, I would sleep wrapped up, as it were, in a great cloak of snug and savoury air, shot with the glow of the logs which would break out again in flame: in a sort of alcove without walls, a cave of warmth dug out of the heart of the room itself, a zone of heat whose boundaries were constantly shifting and altering in temperature as gusts of air ran across them to strike freshly upon my face, from the corners of the room, or from parts near the window or far from the fireplace which had therefore remained cold—or rooms in summer, where I would delight to feel myself a part of the warm evening, where the moonlight striking upon the half-opened shutters would throw down to the foot of my bed its enchanted ladder; where I would fall asleep, as it might be in the open air, like a titmouse which the breeze keeps poised in the focus of a sunbeam—or sometimes the Louis XVI room, so cheerful that I could never feel really unhappy, even on my first night in it: that room where the slender columns which lightly supported its ceiling would part, ever so gracefully, to indicate where the bed was and to keep it separate; sometimes again that little room with the high ceiling, hollowed in the form of a pyramid out of two separate storeys, and partly walled with mahogany, in which from the first moment my mind was drugged by the unfamiliar scent of flowering grasses, convinced of the hostility of the violet curtains and of the insolent indifference of a clock that chattered on at the top of its voice as though I were not there; while a strange and pitiless mirror with square feet, which stood across one corner of the room, cleared for itself a site I had not looked to find tenanted in the quiet surroundings of my normal field of vision: that room in which my mind, forcing itself for hours on end to leave its moorings, to elongate itself upwards so as to take on the exact shape of the room, and to reach to the summit of that monstrous funnel, had passed so many anxious nights while my body lay stretched out in bed, my eyes staring upwards, my ears straining, my nostrils sniffing uneasily, and my heart beating; until custom had changed the colour of the curtains, made the clock keep quiet, brought an expression of pity to the cruel, slanting face of the glass, disguised or even completely dispelled the scent of flowering grasses, and distinctly reduced the apparent loftiness of the ceiling.”
Say “They are married” and your listener/reader makes a whole host of assumptions. But are they correct?
Arranged Marriages in Assam
Maison Vie New Orleans
An article at Maison Vie New Orleans cites Psychology Today for a list of 7 types of marriage possibilities. I’ve supplied definitions not given in the article.
Perhaps the most famous “Starter Marriage” participants
Starter Marriage: First marriage, five years or less, no children.
Companionship Marriage: Based on companionship, both partners have mutual consent and equality.
Parenting Marriage: Non-romantic, spouses come together to raise happy, healthy children.
This can also be the case of parents who would otherwise divorce but stay together for the sake of the children.
Safety Marriage: Marrying a “safety” partner, such as a long-time friend or old flame.
Living Alone Together Marriage:No standard definition found.
Each member of a marriage maintaining a separate household, sometimes far apart. (Jezebel)
Unmarried people living in communal (or roommate) arrangements, for financial and social benefits. (Psychology Today)
Married people who live together but maintain separate financial and social arrangements. (Center for Growth)
People who wish to divorce but cannot for social, religious, financial, etc. reasons. (Marriage.com)
Open Marriage: Spouses in a dyadic marriage agree that each may have extramarital sexual relationships, which are not considered infidelity.
Covenant Marriage: A legally distinct kind of marriage in three states (Arizona, Arkansas, and Louisiana) requiring pre-marital counseling and accepting more limited grounds for later seeking a divorce.
Psychology Today
On the other hand, an article on Marriage.com lists 25 types of marriages, including the following. In addition to those listed above, the author provides the following variations. This list includes both “legal” and emotional/motivational aspects.
“The Arranged Marriage” by Vasili Vladimirovitz Pukirev
Love Marriage: The ideal of romance movies and wedding magazines, though love is not necessary to marriage, as delineated throughout this blog.
Civil and Religious Marriage: when the marriage is recognized by the state, or the recognition is received from a religious body, such as the church, respectively.
Interfaith Marriage: When people from two different religions decide to get married, it is called an interfaith marriage.
Common-Law Marriage: when two people have declare they are married and live together but do not have a certificate of registry.
Cohabitation is not sufficient to be a common-law marriage but it is usually necessary.
The laws regarding common-law marriages vary not only from country to country but also between states in the US.
Monogamous Marriage: When the married couple “forsakes all others” and doesn’t get emotionally or sexually involved with anyone else outside the marriage.
Polyamorous Marriage: When the marriage involves more than two people
Polygyny, when a man has more than one wife
Polyandry, when a woman has more than one husband.
Group Marriage: one or more men are married to one or more women.
Differs from polygamous or polyandrous marriage primarily in that all members consider themselves in a relationship with all others rather than being “divided” along gender lines.
Morganatic Marriage: King Frederik VII of Denmark and Countess Danner
Left-Handed Marriage: (Not a term I was familiar with) when two people from unequal social rankings marry.
It’s also called a Morganatic Marriage, most often in reference to inheritance or succession.
Secret Marriage: When the marriage is hidden from society, friends, and family.
Shotgun Marriage: When a couple decides to get married because of an unplanned pregnancy or threat of pregnancy. Sometimes, they marry to save their reputations or embarrassment to their families.
Inter-Racial Marriage: Also called a mixed marriage, when people from different races marry.
Same-Sex Marriage: Legal in many parts of the world, though still not as universally socially acceptable as other types of marriage.
Arranged Marriage: When the family finds a suitable match for an eligible person, based on factors such as race, religion, caste, and other specific criteria they might have.
Convenience Marriage: When two people get married for reasons that bring convenience to their lives, such as financial security or childcare.
Um… Perhaps not this kind of zombie marriage…
Zombie Marriage: Both parties are docile and nice to each other in public but behind closed doors, they do not share any sort of a relationship.
Safety Marriage: When a marriage occurs because something tangible, mostly materialistic, is decided to be given in return. These terms are decided before marriage.
Open Marriage: When two people who are officially married agree that it’s okay to see others outside the marriage.
Partnership: Both spouses are equals, probably both work full-time and share household and child-rearing responsibilities equally.
Independents: Spouses live separate lives alongside each other; they may spend their free time apart; around the house, they tend to work separately in their areas of interest and on their own timetables.
(See “Living Alone Together”)
“Traditional” Marriage: One wife who does not work outside the home but takes care of the house and children; one husband who is the breadwinner and has few if any household duties; works only when/as long as both spouses like it that way.
Companionship: Both spouses want a life-long friend and their relationship is familiar and loving.
“The Marriage of Strongbow and Aoife” by Daniel Maclise
Non-Romantic Reasons for Marriage
And there are still other marriages not covered above.
Polyandri: Draupadi married the five Pandava brothers in the epic Mahabharta
Advancement: Enhancing social and/or financial standing; the classic/stereotypical case is a man marrying the boss’s daughter.
Age: It’s “time” to get married; varies by class and culture and time period.
Alcohol: In Reno or Vegas, it might literally be an inebriated service; more likely an inebriated engagement that turns out to be binding.
Duty or Obligation: Feeling duty-bound to marry to carry on the family name (more often males) or to provide some sort of support for children or others.
Escape: Leaving an unsafe, unpleasant, or otherwise intolerable living situation.
Family Pressure: Could be any want or need that the marriage is expected to fulfill.
Financial Security: Assuring the basics of food, shelter, health care, etc.
Lust: Less common than formerly, marriage as a way to get sex.
Politics: Reinforcing a political or financial arrangement by creating a familial tie through marriage.
Religious Orders: In the Catholic Church, nuns are referred to as “Brides of Christ.”
Social Pressure: “All my friends are married!”
Bottom line: Just something to think about. Marriage is many things to many people, not a single entity.
I write short (for the mostpart) but I read long. This has been true all my reading life, especially for fiction series.
Completed Fiction Series
As a pre-teen I devoured the Cherry Ames nurse books by Helen Wells, following her career from student nurse onwards. Ditto the Ruth Fielding books, set in the 1920s and written by a group of people collectively using the pseudonym of Alice B. Emerson. Both involved adventure, sometimes mysteries, and young women who stepped outsides society’s rules and boundaries.
As an adult, my first fiction series addiction was The Poldark Sagaby Winston Graham. In this instance, I was so taken with the story line as depicted on PBS Masterpiece Theatre that I read all eleven books, and liked the books even better. I’ve read the Poldark family saga more than once. That’s the way it is with a good read. Early on, I was so taken with the character of Demelza Poldark that for a time port wine was my alcohol of choice.
Once upon a time, my escapist reading was the Nero Wolfe mysteries (Rex Stout), but that’s a whole different kettle of fish. The same detective, the same sidekick, and the same chef, but really nothing to link the books together. Each puzzle is different and, once solved, presents no temptation to reread.
Sherlock Holmes is much the same. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle crafted beautifully written stories, but the point is “who done it.” That being said, I did love the modern BBC adaptation “Sherlock.”
Sherlock Holmes appears on screen frequently.
I put the Lord Peter Wimsey fiction series somewhere in between. Dorothy L. Sayers has more of a through-line, and characters other than Lord Peter Death Bredon Wimsey DSO are more prominent. He solves mysteries for pleasure and is a perfect example of the British gentleman detective. I have actually reread her series because her writing is excellent, offering more than just the solution to the crime.
I watched the BBC/PBS adaptations. In my opinion, neither Ian Carmichael nor Edward Petherbridge was the right choice for Lord Peter, though many fans hold very strong views favoring one or the other. It should have been Fred Astaire!
Dame Agatha Christie
Unlike many, I was never taken with Dame Agatha Christie. Although her detectives are appealingly quirky, the solutions to the crimes (in my opinion) too often involve “alligator over the transom” elements. I.e., they depend too much on sudden, serendipitous revelations, or information known only to the detective, such that the reader couldn’t possibly have figured it out.
Jean M Auel
I greatly enjoyed the first two books in Jean M. Auel’sEarth’s Children series. Fiction series set in prehistoric times was quite novel to me, and she seemed well grounded in actual anthropology and biology. But after Clan of the Cave Bear and Valley of Horses, it went downhill for me. After that, the books weren’t as novel and they needed a good editor. It’s a 6-book series I never finished.
Ongoing Fiction Series
By the time I read Outlander, the first several books in the series were already in print. Action/adventure, romance, time-travel, and a touch of the supernatural… I’d never read anything like it.
Diana Gabaldon
I’ve read the first eight books twice, and marvel at Diana Gabaldon’s skill:
Tracking a cast of thousands (dozens, anyway)
Keeping characters and “facts” consistent
Weaving details from earlier books into major elements in later ones
And let’s not forget the gripping storyline, spanning wars, continents, and generations.
I’ve read the spin-off Lord John books and collections of short stories. What I have not done is watch the TV series. I would grump about all that’s been left out!
I preordered book nine, Go Tell the Bees That I Am Gone, and it’s been on my shelf and on my kindle since November. At some level I am resisting reading it, for I don’t want the series to end. According to Gabaldon, the series is expected to be ten volumes.
Fiona Quinn
Fiona Quinn has written several interconnected fiction series in The World of Iniquus. They feature separate but related action/adventure/romance plots and characters. She has created strong, knowledgeable, capable women, and I always learn things.
Mary Burton
Another local writer I enjoy is Mary Burton. She, too, has written several fiction series, some interconnected and some stand-alone.
I’ve read a lot of L. T. Ryan, though his books tend to be more brutal than my usual fare.
I. T. Lucas
Last but not least, I’ll mention Children of the Gods by I. T. Lucas. Per the Amazon blurb, “Twilight meets Ancient Aliens with the sizzle of Fifty Shades.” The writing isn’t on a par with Gabaldon, but it’s generally good and the series currently includes 62 books!
Miscellany
This year marks the 25th anniversary of the publication of the first of the Harry Potter books. I have the complete set, but I haven’t yet read the books or watched the movies.
Please note: these writers are not to be confused with the following
Helen Wells, artist in England, or Helen Wells, talent scout in Indianapolis
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