REINDEER SEASON!

Posted on December 24, 2024December 24, 2024 by vlaw759

Worldwide, more people think about reindeer today than on any other day of the year! And here’s the scoop.

Rangifer tarandus saintnicolas magicalus

According to the Alaska Department on Fish and Game, Santa’s reindeer (R.t. saintnicolas magicalus) look very similar to common reindeer or caribou, but have many characteristics that distinguish them from the seven other common subspecies.

Santa’s reindeer possess the unique and remarkable ability to fly. A strenuous conditioning program developed by Mr. and Mrs. Claus enables them to travel great distances in a short time, provided they receive frequent carrot snacks.

My personal observation of reindeer in Norway has led me to conclude that Santa’s reindeer also have a much greater affinity for bells compared to common reindeer.

In most subspecies of reindeer/caribou, the adult bulls shed their antlers in late October. So, given the date of Christmas, all the males would have dropped their antlers. Female reindeer use their antlers to brush away snow to find food in the winter, and pregnant females usually retain their antlers until calves are born in late May.

In all reported sightings, the antlers of Santa’s reindeer appear extremely velvety and robust in late December. This has fired a debate over whether Santa’s reindeer are all female. Because there are no data on when or if Santa’s reindeer shed their antlers, some claim that males with antlers in winter is just another unique difference between Santa’s reindeer and regular reindeer.

The names of Dasher, Dancer, and the rest of Santa’s antlered reindeer are gender-neutral, also suggesting to me that they all could be female.

Rudolph’s Biology

In any case, Rudolf is a boy. Small bulls and non-pregnant cows shed antlers in April, and reliable sources claim that Rudolph was very young when he first started flying with Santa Claus.

When reindeer need to cool down, they can increase blood flow to their extremities, including their noses. Because the hair on their noses is finer and lighter in color than in other areas, their noses can appear red, just like a human with flushed cheeks. Though the bright glowing seems to be artistic license, Rudolph’s red nose was likely just a result of his healthy circulatory system!

There is a story abroad that Blitzen and Rudolph are father and son, who have a loving relationship. During Rudolph’s childhood, Blitzen worried about what others would think of his son’s red nose and became angry when people found out and ridiculed him. Perhaps that was Rudolph’s mother?

Sometimes authors just don’t do enough research!

Where They All Came From

Santa’s reindeer were first mentioned in 1821 when New York printer William Gilley published a 16-page booklet titled A New Year’s Present to the Little Ones from Five to Twelve, Part III by an anonymous author:

Old Santeclaus with much delight
His reindeer drives this frosty night.
O’er chimneytops, and tracks of snow,
To bring his yearly gifts to you.

Two years later, in 1823, the Troy Sentinel published the poem A Visit from St. Nicholas, commonly known as ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas. The poem featured eight flying reindeer pulling Santa’s sleigh and, for the first time, identified each team member by name.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer began guiding Santa’s sleigh in 1939, when Robert L. May wrote the story of “the most famous reindeer of all” as a Christmas coloring book for his employer, the department store Montgomery Ward. The company gave away the coloring books as holiday gifts to children to entice their parents to visit and shop at the store. Before settling on Rudolph, May considered the names Rollo and Reginald!

In 1948, May’s brother-in-law Johnny Marks made the story into a song. It was featured in a cartoon shown in movie theaters, but wasn’t released as a stand-alone recording until 1949 when “The Singing Cowboy” Gene Autry recorded the song and its popularity soared. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is one of the biggest-selling Christmas songs of all time.

Leaving Fantasy Behind

Apart from Santa’s workshop, reindeer are a real thing. Humans domesticated reindeer in Eurasia over 2000 years ago. Today, depending on where you are, reindeer is a blanket name that includes both the domesticated and wild populations.

The scientific name for reindeer and caribou is Rangifer tarandus. The term Rangifer likely comes from the Old French word rangier for reindeer and the Latin word ferus, which translates to ‘wild’ or ‘untamed’.

Caribou live in the Arctic tundra and the boreal forests of Greenland, Scandinavia, Russia, Alaska, and Canada. There are two types of caribou (reindeer)—tundra caribou and forest and woodland caribou.

Reindeer vs. Caribou

All caribou and reindeer throughout the world are considered to be the same species, and, excluding Santa’s reindeer (R.t. saintnicolas magicalus), there are 7 subspecies.

Migration

Though most people use the terms ‘caribou’ and ‘reindeer’ interchangeably to refer to the same species, migration is a key difference.

Tundra caribou are larger in numbers and migrate between tundras and forests areas every year. They migrate in massive herds that can reach up to 500,000 individuals. ‘Caribou’ describes members of the Rangifer tarandus species living in North America, who migrate these long distances. According to a study of the longest terrestrial migrations in the world published in Scientific Reports, reindeer and gray wolves were the only species that exceeded 621 miles (1,000 kilometers). With their remarkably long legs, North American reindeer can travel an average of 23 miles daily.

‘Reindeer’ describes wild Rangifer tarandus living in Europe and Asia or domesticated caribou in North America.

Wolves are the greatest natural predator of caribou. For thousands of years, they have followed migrating caribou herds, killing mostly the aged, injured, or weak animals.

Although the similarities between reindeer and caribou are numerous, the differences are enough that they are classified as two subspecies.

Domestication

Domestication is the other main difference between reindeer and caribou, and many of the distinguishing traits are thought to result from that domestication.

Both male and female reindeer and caribou grow antlers — a trait unique in the deer family — although female reindeer antlers grow larger than female caribou antlers.

Reindeer are shorter, stouter and more sedentary than their long-legged caribou cousins, and although reindeer may migrate within their grazing range, they do not migrate long distances between wintering grounds and calving areas as caribou do.

Caribou bulls are larger than reindeer bulls, but reindeer cows generally weigh the same as caribou cows.

Reindeer have thicker, denser fur than caribou, although both have hollow guard hairs that keep them warm.

The reindeer breeding season begins about two to four weeks earlier than caribou, which results in reindeer calves being born at the end of April, while caribou calves are born at the end of May.

The Value of Reindeer

The main product of reindeer herding is meat. However, skins, bones, and horns are important raw materials for making clothes and handicrafts.

Meat and organs such as tongue, kidneys, brain, heart and liver are an essential food source. In Alaska, and Canada reindeer/caribou are an important food source, particularly in native communities throughout the north.

Reindeer meat is eaten widely in Norway and Finland.

Tallow or fat is used in recipes such as Eskimo ice cream and was burned as a light source.

Hard antlers and bone are used to make utensils, tools, and decorative objects.

*According to Olaus Magnus‘s 1539 Carta marina, Nordic people rode reindeer into battle*

Bone marrow is extracted and used as food.

Back sinew is used to make thread.

Hides are used for clothing, mukluks, blankets, mittens, tents, boat coverings, sleeping bags, house coverings, and insulation.

Reindeer milk is some of the richest and most nutritious milk produced by any terrestrial mammal. It contains an impressive 22 percent butterfat and 10 percent protein. (Whole cow milk contains only three to four percent fat, and human milk contains three to five percent.) However, reindeer can only produce up to two cups daily. In Nordic countries, people use the milk of farmed reindeer to make butter and a kind of sweet cheese.

Antler velvet has been used in medicine since at least 100 BC, according to a silk scroll found in a Han tomb in China. Today, velvet is still used as a medicinal ingrediant in several countries, including China, Korea, and Indonesia.

Hair is edible! This practice has saved some groups from starvation.

Fun Facts About Reindeer

Antlers

Both male and female reindeer grow antlers, unique among the more than 45 species of deer where only the males have antlers. The males use their antlers primarily to battle for females whereas the females use theirs mainly to defend food sources. Males’ antlers grow up to about 50 inches long while females’ can reach up to 20 inches,

Compared to their body size, reindeer have the largest and heaviest antlers of all living deer species. A male’s antlers can be up to 51 inches long, and a female’s antlers can reach 20 inches.

Unlike horns which are never shed, antlers fall off and grow back larger each year. Male reindeer begin to grow antlers in February and female reindeer in May.

Both sexes finish growing their antlers at the same time but shed them at different times of the year. Typically, males drop their antlers in the late fall, leaving them without antlers until the following spring, while females keep their antlers through the winter until their calves are born in the spring.

Fur and Hair

Reindeer have thick, wooly undercoats, with a top layer of longer, tubular hairs. The hollow shafts allow the hairs to trap air, providing insulation to keep the animals warm in frigid environments. The hollowness of their coats is also what gives them their white color.

That hollow coat hairs (along with big feet) make reindeer excellent swimmers. They’re often seen crossing the Yukon River—the third longest in North America, a half mile wide in parts—mid-migration. They swim across these rough, wide rivers and can swim three times faster than the average human, up to 6 mph — which happens to be Michael Phelps’s top speed! According to the National Park Service, researchers have recorded calves just a few months old swimming between islands a mile and a half apart.

Reindeer hair covers their bodies from their noses to the bottom of their feet (hooves). The hairy hooves may look funny, but they give reindeer a good grip when walking on frozen ground, ice, mud, and snow.

Reindeer are the only deer species to have hair completely covering their nose. Their specialized nose hair helps to warm incoming cold air before it enters their lungs. Their good sense of smell helps reindeer find food hidden under snow, locate danger, and recognize direction. Reindeer mainly travel into the wind so they can pick up scents.

Behavior

Reindeer eat mosses, herbs, ferns, grasses, and the shoots and leaves of shrubs and trees, especially willow and birch. In winter, they make do with lichen (also called reindeer moss) and fungi, scraping the snow away with their hooves to get it. Lichen is exceedingly high in carbohydrates and contains a fair amount of vitamins and protein. An average adult reindeer eats 9 to 18 pounds of vegetation a day.

Reindeer travel, feed, and rest together throughout the day in herds of 10 to a few hundred. In spring, they may form super-herds of 50,000 to 500,000 animals. The herds generally follow food sources, traveling south up to 1,000 miles when food is hard to find in winter.

Reindeer are the only deer species humans have managed to domesticate widely.

Caribou and reindeer are important to their ecosystems. In the tundras and forests, they help regulate vegetation and cycle nutrients through the soil to encourage growth.

Baby Reindeer

In yet another departure from the rest of the deer family, reindeer aren’t called bucks, does, or fawns. Instead, like cattle, a male is a bull (or in some cases a stag), a female is a cow and a baby is a calf.

Females give birth to one calf each year. Calves can stand within minutes of being born. Within 90 minutes of birth, calves can run as fast as an Olympic sprinter. In a matter of hours, they can keep up with the herd. It isn’t abnormal for calves to run at speeds of up to 50 mph for 30-some miles a day during migration. That speed is only slightly slower than the pronghorn (top speed 55 mph), the second-fastest land animal in the world. This quick development helps the vulnerable young survive against predators like wolves, bears, and lynx.

Also an anomaly for the deer family, reindeer calves aren’t born with spots. According to Henderson State University, spots on a young deer are an adaptation for survival. Because other deer can’t run as fast as adults when they’re young, their spots help their mothers locate them if they’ve been outrun. When running from a predator, the spots break up the pattern of the rushing herd. However, reindeer calves can run as fast as their adult counterparts within hours, so they haven’t developed the adaptation.

Meat

Reindeer tastes like venison. It is popular in Scandinavian countries where it is served with sweet sauces most of the time. If you like venison, you will probably like reindeer. Both are available in many forms, some more gamy than others, and in both the back strap is the best cut.

Reindeer meat is very healthful. It has more vitamins and micro nutrients and less fat than pork or beef.

Reindeer meat is also an ethical choice for free grazing and a cleaner environment.

Reindeer meat is very popular throughout Europe, widely available in supermarkets and restaurants as steak, stew, ribs, jerky, sausage, soup, smoked, and fried.

Weird Deer

Caribou/reindeer hooves are large enough to distribute their weight, which helps them walk easily on snow and paddle through water. During winter, their footpads shrink and harden, the World Animal Foundation says, exposing the hoof rim so it can cut into ice and snow for traction. The hoof’s hollow underside also helps them dig through snow to reach lichens, their primary winter food source. In summer, the underside is spongy and soft to help them grip the earth.

Thanks to an intwined arrangement of arteries and veins in their legs, reindeer have a counter-current heat exchange. Like Arctic foxes and moose, this allows them to “recycle” their body heat rather getting cold feet standing in the snow!

Researchers at University College London discovered that reindeer are the only mammals that can see ultraviolet light. Their ability to see ultraviolet light helps the animals spot food and predators more clearly in the glaring light of the Arctic.

Reindeer in Danger

The involvement of young people in Norway and Sweden in raising and herding caribou is hindered by legislative acts, and the lack of pastures and economic opportunities hamper the growth of the industry.

Caribou are classified by the IUCN RedList as Vulnerable (VU). Prior to 2015, they were classified as Least Concern (LC). Caribou have experienced a population decline of 40% over the last three generations (21 to 27 years).

The numerous threats contributing to this decline include habit disturbance through human activity, hunting, predation, and climate change.

Bottom Line: There’s a lot more to reindeer than Christmas!

“THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR.” REALLY?

Posted on December 18, 2020December 19, 2020 by vlaw759

CONSIDER THE DOWNSIDE OF CHRISTMAS.

Part of the downside of Christmas is this myth that everything and everyone is merry and bright, and if you aren’t, you must be a Scrooge. Or a Grinch. Or Burgemeister Meister Burgher. Indeed, much of what follows also applies to Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Ōmisoka, and other holidays too numerous to mention. Almost everyone (every character?) suffers one or more of these downsides of typical celebrations.

Exposure Fatigue

*“Fairytale of New York” by The Pogues reflects the loneliness despair of Christmas.*

Going into a store in October and see “decorations” for Halloween, Thanksgiving, AND Christmas
Christmas music that begins to be played everywhere before Thanksgiving
- Christmas music gets old fast, particularly for people working in retail
Commercials touting the “perfect” gift
The pervasiveness of sappy Christmas movies (and over-exposure to the good ones, such as “It’s a Wonderful Life” and “Miracle on 34th Street”)

Physical Fatigue

Decorating
Food preparation
Package wrapping and/or mailing
Attending celebratory events, especially navigating office/work place parties
Hassles of travel (insane boarding lines, delayed flights, driving clogged highways)
Making gifts or cards by hand
Shopping for presents
- Finding a mall parking space 2 miles from the shops
Tracking down the right present for the right person

Weather

Living in a warm place, one laments the lack of snow
Living in a cold climate, one laments cold and snow that keep people inside
Ice storms that keep one from attending/hosting a holiday event
Combination of extra traffic, stressed drivers, and wintry weather can make every drive a terrifying experience

Family Stresses

Feeling compelled to see family you’d rather not
- Spending time with the family of one’s significant other can be even worse
Conflicts between/among guests
Pretending to like presents you don’t
Taking awkward photos
Kids demands for presents and apply pressure in in terms of values, money, and parenting
Waiting in endless lines for kids to visit Santa at the mall
Bad situations can worsen, and marriages are strained
- Recently divorced parents navigating custody arrangements
- Divorce lawyers have their busiest month in January

Financial Strains

Feeling pressed to give a gift of equivalent value, even when the “gift lists” for giver and recipient aren’t the same
Dealing with a year when one’s gift-giving must be cut/downsized in number and/or expense and it will be obvious
Higher electric bill for huge outdoor displays
Travel, tickets, decorations, food, etc., can drain bank accounts and max out credit cards even without buying gifts

Physical Health

Emergency room visits are up 5-12% around Christmas
- Slips and falls on icy walkways or while putting up decorations
- Sharp object injuries from unfamiliar cooking utensils, new toys, assembling gifts
- Falls from a height
- Workplace accidents
- Abdominal discomfort from overeating
- Psychiatric disorders exacerbated by stress and crowds
- Poisonings
  - Incorrectly prepared food
  - Overconsumption of alcohol

Disruption of healthy patterns
- Abandoning diets or eating irregularly
- Loss of sleep
- Failure to follow doctor’s instructions for treatment and/or medication
A typical Christmas meal is likely to be two-to-three times the recommended daily calorie count
- Indulging in meals, cakes, pies, chocolates, or whatever sweets
- Cookies, biscuits, candy, homemade treats brought in to the workplace or shared by shops for the entire season

Stress levels are almost certain to be higher than usual
- Stress contributes to heart disease, stroke, and cancer
- Stress leading to immune system breakdowns, leading to colds, for example
Mingling with more people exposes them to more infections, especially flu and flu-like symptoms
Falls, cuts, and burns result in tens of thousand of visits to the ER
Alcohol consumption resulting in alcohol poisoning, broken bones from skips and fall, car and home accidents, etc.
Domestic violence is up about one-third compared to an average day

An ambulance driver explained it to me this way:

“It’s like everyone’s on a hurt-yourself schedule, same every year. Early morning starts with the drunk drivers going home from parties, sometimes the homeless with hypothermia, depends on the weather. Then the kids get up way too early and open their presents and start hitting each other with them or falling off anything with wheels and breaking any bone you can think of.

**Even the angels are drinking too much!**

“After that, you get a mix of cooking accidents and alcohol poisonings through the afternoon. Eventually, people hit their limit with family, have too much to drink, and start beating on each other. That’s also about the time ‘lonely hearts’ start calling us, asking to go to the hospital just because they have no place else to go and they don’t want to be alone.

“People eat too much at dinner and get the ‘too-much-macaroni sweats.’ They get heartburn and think they’re having a heart attack. We get more alcohol calls, either people fighting or passing out.

“And then everyone heads home, driving drunk. Better hope your tree doesn’t catch on fire. Happy Holidays.”

Mental Health

There is a MYTH that suicides peak around Christmas – they actually peak in spring
That said, it is breakup season
- The peak breakup time is the two weeks before Christmas
Overall, holiday depression is a real thing
- Family conflicts
- Financial woes
- Expectations of perfection
- Singles watching couples get all mushy
Loneliness is highlighted, especially for older people who live alone and have no one available with whom to celebrate
- People 65 and older are twice as likely to spend Christmas alone, compared to younger people

The loss of a family member—previous or recent—is especially painful
Being/fearing being left out of desirable events
Mistletoe invites unwanted advances
People with birthdays anywhere near Christmas often find the events conflated
Dealing with someone who has problems, like alcoholism or domestic violence
Wishing to skip Christmas because of other events in one’s life
Accessing helpful services that normally help one cope can be more difficult
Finding other religious festivals or holidays fade in comparison to Christmas
Overall, people are more likely to experience anxiety, sleep disturbances, headaches, loss of appetite, and poor concentration
Call rates to help hotlines spike on Christmas Eve

*The original lyrics were a lot more depressing.*

Environmental Downside

*It’s after midnight! Wake up! Time for presents and sugar highs!*

Massive amounts of trash going to landfills
- Decorations
- Single-use wrapping paper
Food waste
- Imported foods enlarging your carbon footprint
Energy consumption
- Traveling burning fossil fuels
- Turning up the heat
- Electric lights inside and outside

The End

Taking down/storing items for next year
Missing the buzz and activity
Realizing that nothing can be done about many things now regretted

*Queen Elizabeth doesn’t take down her Christmas decorations until early February, in memory of her father’s death.*

Bottom line: These are all for typical Christmases. Consider which might be eased and which might be exacerbated in the year of COVID?

SANTAS ARE MADE, NOT BORN

Posted on December 8, 2020December 8, 2020 by vlaw759

Chocolate Santas with marzipan masks made by Hungarian chocolatier Laszlo Rimoczi.

The Charles W. Howard Santa Claus School is the oldest in existence. Before 1937, Santas were pretty much on their own, and any man with a red suit would do.

Charles W. Howard Santa Claus School

OUR MISSION:
To uphold the traditions and preserve the history of Santa Claus while providing students with the necessary resources to improve and further define their individual presentations of Santa and Mrs. Claus, allowing them to enter the hearts and spread the Christmas spirit to everyone they meet.

At the Charles W. Howard Santa Claus School, more than 200 aspiring Santas gather each year to attend a three-day series of classes where they learn everything from the history of Saint Nicholas to reindeer habits.

In November, 2018, Mental Floss took an in-depth look. Here are several points from their write-up, 13 Things to Know About The World’s Oldest Santa School.

It’s Considered the Harvard of Santa Schools

Each year, about 200 Santas (including a handful of Mrs. Clauses) attend class in Midland—but not everybody who applies gets accepted. Co-Dean Holly Valent rejects Santas who don’t seem interested in children or singing. (In other words, Santas who appear to be in it only for the money.) Additionally, she has to place around 40 prospective Santas on a waiting list each year. Thankfully, the workshop in Midland is not the only Santa school under the North Pole.

Child Psychology is the Name of the Game

The most important aspect of being a good Santa is learning how to genuinely listen to all kinds of children. “[Y]ou have to be on your toes all the time, because you never know what the children are going to ask you,” Mary Ida Doan, who plays Mrs. Claus, told WJRT. (Doan would know: She’s a member of the International Santa Claus Hall of Fame.)

During the workshop, the Santas get schooled in child psychology and learn handy tricks from experts and each other: How to deal with squirmy children, crying children, children who are afraid of you, and more. The Santas even learn basic sign language. “It’s important to be able to spread Christmas cheer to all children,” a Santa named Bill told Reuters.

An organization called Santa America provides extra training for Santas to connect with children who need a different kind of communication to reach all that Christmas cheer. The frenetic atmosphere at a typical Santa’s Grotto can be overwhelming and terrifying for any child. Santas who have trained with Santa America can create a quieter, calmer, slower space. These “Sensitive Santas” are in demand at Christmas for hospitals, very young children, children on the autism spectrum, and many others.

Santa America also connects local Santas and their companions with people who might need a visit from Santa Claus any time of the year: during a hospital stay, after major disasters, when a parent is deployed overseas. Part of their mission is to prove that Santa Claus, Mrs. Claus, and the elves never go off on vacation when children need them.

Gaining Background Knowledge Means Meeting Real Reindeer

Since kids are apt to ask Santa anything, it’s best that Santa draws his answers from real experience. What are the reindeer like? To find out, Santa students study reindeer habits and get to meet real reindeer.

How are toys made? The Santas spend quality time learning how to make wooden playthings.

The Santas also attend lectures about St. Nick’s backstory and the North Pole. “Know who you are,” Valent tells an assembly of Santas, according to CNN. “Know your legend. Know where you came from.”

They Have to Practice Their “Ho-Ho-Hos” and Their “Do-Re-Mis”

*Despite being blind, this boy was able to see Santa during his visit.*

Since each Santa must prepare for radio and TV interviews, much of Santa school focuses on teaching students how to craft an accurate and authentic persona. “For example, they’re advised to create a backstory for their ‘elves,’ pulling names and characteristics from kids and grandkids in their own circles,” Kathleen Lavey reported for the Lansing State Journal. It also means learning how to deliver a hearty but balanced Ho Ho Ho. “You have to do it mild,” Tom Valent explained. “It’s got to be a laugh.” (And to ensure the Santas are really in the Christmas spirit, they’re also taught how to sing with cheer.)

There’s More Dancing Involved Than You Might Think

It’s not enough to nail the laugh. Being Santa requires you to be a full-body actor—and that means perfecting the big man’s jolly, bouncing swagger. The school is stuffed with movement lessons. “The school fitness teacher had them dance as if they were wrapping presents, baking cookies and filling stockings to classic Christmas tunes,” Christinne Muschi wrote for Reuters.

Santas also learn how to properly ease in and out of a sleigh and learn yoga and breathing exercises to keep limber. (It’s important work: Hoisting kids up and down from your lap for hours takes its toll.) As Tom Valent told CNN, “Santa is a healthy outdoorsman.”

Being Santa is not for the faint of heart or the faint of sinus. Pet photos with Santa are increasingly popular, often as part of a fundraiser. The Humane Society, Paws for a Cause, Sidewalk Dog, and many local animal shelters ask Santas to pose for photos with dogs, cats, hamsters, snakes, turtles, and any other pet they can safely hold. Better take that Benadryl!

They Receive Financial Advice

*The cardboard versions are much cheaper!*

At Santa school—which costs $550 for new students—they teach classes on marketing, accounting, and taxes. That’s because being a freelance Santa is not cheap. A Santa with a bare chin is advised to buy a custom beard and wig that can cost up to $1800. And while a generic suit costs about $500, a personalized one can run over $2000. Add to that $700 for a pair of authentic boots. And then grooming expenses. Oh, and makeup.

Santas Get Lessons in Grooming

*I don’t think this Yugoslavian Santa was paying attention to the make-up lesson.*

At school, Santas also learn how to curl their mustaches and groom their hair and beards (or wigs) to create a windblown I-just-got-out-of-the-sleigh look. They receive lessons in bleaching their hair to get a snow-white glisten as well as lessons in applying makeup.

According to Lavey, teachers show other Santas all the insider secrets: “How to take the shine off their foreheads with powder, pink up their cheeks with rouge, and add stardust to their beards with hairspray that contains glitter.”

The big secret to making Santa’s beard smell magical? Peppermint oil.

Santa Day School

*The Simpsons offer a reasonably priced alternative, but it is only open to two-dimensional Santas with three fingers.*

For those who can’t—or won’t—spend three intensive days and nights in Midlands, Michigan, there are options! In-person schools around the country and online for DYIers.

In November, 2018, Business Insider did an article on Santa schools, particularly the finances involved. Here are several quotes from that article.

*Santa Doug Eberhardt of the Northern Lights Santa Academy displaying a variety of historical Santa trends.*

“There’s two kinds of Santas: There are professional Santas and there are guys in red suits,” Santa Rick, a former mediator and divorce arbiter who runs the Northern Lights Santa Academy in Atlanta, Georgia, told Vox. “And the difference for me is there are those who want to better themselves and learn and master the trade, and there are the others.” This Santa school also has classes for Mrs. Claus and elves.

“I’m very high-energy, so I tend to put on a little bit of a show: The Night Before Christmas, and caroling, and magic,” said Santa Jim Manning, who is the official Santa Claus for Boston’s tree lighting and has covered the Red Sox Christmas card. “A lot of people think being Santa Claus means just showing up, sitting on the couch, and letting kids sit in your lap. But what I do is a lot more.” To the right, see Santa Jim jumping out of an airplane.

*Fashion Santa of Toronto has a slightly different take on the traditional red suit and jolly belly.*

“Rick, of the Northern Lights Santa Academy, told Vox that high-end Santas can earn up to $25,000 a season, but the cost of travel, lodging, and garb can eat into the pay. A quality Santa costume and accessories costs at least $1,000 and a beard set made of human hair can range from $1,800 to $2,500, he said.”

*Only the very bravest Santas are willing to risk turtle bites at the same time as dog fur on their suits.*

“Santa Ed Taylor has been running the Santa Claus Conservatory, an online training program with more than 2,300 aspiring Santas, since 2013. The courses range from $97 to $347.”

The International University of Santa Claus

Not only does the IUSC offer courses around the world, they have a degree program recognizing a student’s years of dedication. A Santa or Mrs. Claus can earn a Doctorate of Santaclausology (PhD), with options for further advanced study.

Unfortunately, all 2020 International University of Santa Claus in-person classes have been cancelled. Online courses are available, so aspiring Santas can ask their grandkids for help logging in to Zoom classes!

Santa is a Super-Spreader

2020 is an atypical year. (You heard it here first!) And this is true for Santas and Santa schools as well. Dr. Fauci has assured the public that Santa Claus is naturally immune to COVID-19, but Santa can still spread the virus. Santa Claus, Father Christmas, Grandfather Frost, Sinterklaas, and all other Christmas gift-bringers have been declared essential workers and therefore exempt from quarantine or isolation rules.

*Santa Johnny of Hong Kong was proclaimed “Best Santa” at the 2019 World Santa Congress.*

The 2020 World Santa Congress was cancelled. Many tree lighting ceremonies and holiday parties have been cancelled. Even the 2020 Santa Mediterranean Cruise has been indefinitely postponed.

Some Santas are adapting with smaller grottos, shorter visits, and lots of hand sanitizer. Others are setting up plexiglass barriers or arranging for children to stay more than six feet away. A few mall Santa Grottos are even setting up holographic Santas for photos.

However, possibly the safest option for Santa and for kids is to visit Santa digitally.

JingleRing will allow Santa and Mrs. Claus to speak to kids one-on-one with their very own North Pole TV platform.
AirBnB has created virtual visits with Santa as well as the opportunity to tune in to Story Time with Mrs. Claus or with Santa and a rotation of children’s book authors.
Macy’s Santaland has gone virtual this year, though there will be no real Santas in their stores. There are pre-recorded video messages from Santa Claus, games to play with the elves, and the option to sign up for a real-time video chat with Santa himself.

Editor’s Note: Special thanks to Awkward Family Photos for sharing the very best of the very worst photos with Santa Claus.

Bottom Line: There’s more to being a good Santa than putting on a red suit! Consider how Santas and Santa schools might broaden your cast of characters and/or plots.

‘Zat You Santa Claus?

Posted on December 4, 2020December 4, 2020 by vlaw759

The subtle, quiet displays of merchants in the area may have hinted at it, but just in case you didn’t notice: Christmas is coming! Yes, I know, it’s easy to overlook the slight adjustments in advertising décor and to miss the odd carol or two playing on radio stations. Santa Claus will be coming to town in approximately twenty days (depending on when you read this).

But did you know that St. Nicholas is also coming? And that Father Christmas is coming? Grandfather Frost will be here with his granddaughter the Snow Maiden. If you’re very lucky, you might even get a glimpse of Befana, Joulupukki the Yule Goat, Amu Nowruz, or Olentzero. The evolution of modern Christmas customs, including Santa Claus, has been discussed on this blog before.

If you’re very lucky and have highly refined literary tastes, you may catch a glimpse of the Hogfather.

Krampus, Belsnickel, Pere Fouettard, Knecht Ruprecht, the Yule Lads, and other Companions will probably be coming to town as well, but you should probably hope you don’t run into them.

But why should you care about all these visitors wandering about your town? (Besides the tendency to trespass and child beating, of course?) If society is reflected in its myths, then the writer can illustrate society by mentioning the myths.

Real World Gift-Givers

As discussed before, humans tend to follow the sun. When it goes away, we tend to get a little anxious and want it to come back. The tendency to mark the solstices appears in almost every part of the world that sees the effects of axial rotation. Giving gifts is a common theme at this time of year, often contrasted with giving coal or beatings to the deserving.

Writing teachers are always telling us to “show, not tell.” Referring to a culturally specific Santa-esque figure is a great way to show where and when a story is set. Consider some of these holiday figures with a habit of giving sweets, money, and gifts to deserving believers. Many of them are accompanied by a darker foil who comes to punish those who have been “naughty” during the preceding year.

Father Christmas

Today, Father Christmas is often depicted as simply the English version of Santa Claus. Look back a few hundred years, however, and you’ll see a very different figure. Oliver Cromwell’s puritan government cancelled Christmas during the English Civil War; the public brought it back during the Restoration of 1660. At that time, Father Christmas was the personification of Medieval customs of feasting and making merry to celebrate Yule. The evolution of Father Christmas since that time follows the changes in common Christmas celebrations in England.

Sinterklaas/ Saint Nicholas

Saint Nicholas Day is almost upon us! Dutch children will leave their shoes on the doorstep or by the fire so that Sinterklaas can fill them with candy and toys. If children have been naughty, Sinterklaas’s assistant Zwarte Piet beats them with a stick or throws them into his sack and sends them to Spain. The historical Saint Nicholas was the Bishop of Myra (in modern Turkey) and patron saint of children and travelers. He arrives by steamboat and parades through town on a white horse, wearing his traditional bishop’s attire, accompanied by his assistants. Sinterklaas carries a huge, red book with a list of all the naughty and nice children in the area. The modern American Santa Claus owes much of his current fashionable ensemble to Sinterklaas.

Zwarte Piet, Black Peter, is a very controversial figure in modern Sinterklaas festivities and worthy of a separate discussion all his own.

Three Kings or Three Wise Men

In many traditionally Catholic countries, gifts are brought by three figures: the Wise Men from the East mentioned in the Gospel of Matthew. On their way to bringing gold, frankincense, and myrrh to Baby Jesus, the Wise Men take a break to deliver gifts to good children in Venezuela, Spain, the Philippines, and many other countries. Very few specifics are actually given in the Bible, but traditions have filled in plenty of details. Kaspar, Melchior, and Balthazar may have come from Persia, Arabia, Pakistan, India, China, Tibet, Mongolia, Armenia, or Babylon, depending on local custom. Gifts are often given to children on January 4th, the Feast of the Epiphany, instead of December 25th.

Amu Nowruz

Uncle Nowruz gives gifts to children at the Iranian New Year, which occurs at the Spring Equinox rather than the Winter Solstice. He spends the year travelling the world with Haji Nowruz, a soot-covered minstrel. While Haji Nowruz dances and sings, Amu Nowruz gives coins and candy to children.

Seven Lucky Gods (Shichifukujin)

Ebisu, Daikokuten, Bishamonten, Benzaiten, Juroujin, Hotei, Fukurokuju bring their treasure ship Takarabune to Japan on January 2, the beginning of the New Year. Like the early Father Christmas, the Seven Lucky Gods bring good cheer and prosperity to everyone. Those who sleep with a picture of the Shichifukujin under their pillow will have good fortune in the coming year.

Fictional Gift-Givers

Pretty much any setting for a story on Earth has a celebration of midwinter or year’s beginning, complete with a figure who rewards or punishes believers according to their behavior the previous year. But what if the story doesn’t take place on Earth?

**Drifty the Snowman** brings music to children every year at the Swift Creek Mill Playhouse.

Once again, those who have gone before can show us how it’s done. Articles on io9, tv.tropes, and Goodreads show just how commonly a winter festival centered around gifts and the return of light occur in other universes. Tallying the previous year’s sins and distributing charity are common themes.

For a writer, midwinter festivals offer a chance to showcase family bonds, strengthen relationships, demonstrate local superstitions, or just have characters party.

Moș Gerilă

Honestly, I wasn’t sure whether to include Moș Gerilă as a real gift-giving figure or a fantasy. This “Old Man Frost” was created by the Romanian Communist Party in 1947 as part of an attempt to shift Christmas celebrations from the Orthodox Church and the private family to the state. Moș Gerilă was portrayed as a handsome, bare-chested, young man who brought gifts to factory workers. All celebrations were held on December 30th, the national Day of the Republic. Festivities with decorated trees and patriotic music were held in public spaces, and Moș Gerilă would come bearing gifts of nuts and sweets from the Communist Party to well-behaved children. The fate of badly-behaved children is not clear, but I would imagine a gulag was involved. After the fall of the Romanian Communist Party in 1990, Moș Gerilă disappeared and Moș Crăciun (Father Christmas, similar to the Russian Grandfather Snow) took his place.

Xmas

Futurama, set in the year 3000, has an Xmas episode each season. Celebrants decorate a palm tree with lights and barricade themselves indoors. Santa Claus has been replaced by a robot with a programming error. He judges everyone to be naughty and attempts to exterminate everyone on Earth every year. Kevlar vests and body armor are common gifts.

Life Day

According to fan gossip, George Lucas attempted to find and destroy every copy of The Star Wars Holiday Special after it aired for the only time in 1978. Life Day is a Wookie holiday centered around the Tree of Life, celebrating children and death. The holiday is traditionally observed by family gatherings, preparing special foods, singing in red robes on Kashyyyk, and exchanging gifts. Also, Bea Arthur runs a cantina on Mos Eisley for some unexplained reason.

Hogswatchnight

Terry Pratchett’s 20th Discworld novel, Hogfather, is essentially a satire of modern Christmas customs. Hogswatchnight is described by the narrator as “bearing a remarkable resemblance to your Christmas.” The Hogfather rides his sleigh pulled by magically flying boars around the Disc delivering toys by climbing down chimneys. Children leave pork pies and brandy for the Hogfather, essentially a wild boar dressed in Father Christmas robes, which raises some disturbing questions about why he eats pork pies.

In the beginning, “Most people forgot that the very oldest stories are, sooner or later, about blood. Later on they took the blood out to make the stories more acceptable to children, or at least to the people who had to read them to children rather than the children themselves, and then wondered where the stories went.” Over the course of the book, there are zany hijinks and wacky shenanigans involving Tooth Fairies, elegant parties, the Auditors of the Universe, a governess, the Death of Rats, and various other Terry Pratchett wonders. Ultimately, Death (a seven foot tall skeleton with glowing blue eyes and a scythe) has to save the day. In doing so, he explains to his granddaughter (genetics are complicated) why celebrations of the sun’s return and surviving through winter are so important.

What Santa Has Taught Me

Posted on November 27, 2018December 9, 2018 by vlaw759

by Bradley Harper

VL: My fellow writer Bradley Harper has graciously agreed to share the wisdom he has acquired in his second career as Santa Claus! I believe you will find this blog as moving as I have. Thank you, Brad!

After I retired from the Army, (37 years, 4 months, and 9 days, and yes, someone WAS counting!) I grew a beard because, hey, I could! It came out white, which at my age was no surprise. My wife began hinting that I should try being a Santa. I was very unsure about that suggestion, but over time decided that when she was eight she decided she wanted to marry Santa Claus. So, if she was to become Mrs. Claus … you get the idea.

I auditioned for a local park, and to my surprise, and more than a small amount of panic, I got one of the slots. Now I was in for it. I began walking through the toy section of stores. I memorized “The Night Before Christmas.” I speak various languages to differing degrees of proficiency, so memorized how to say “what would you like for Christmas” in Spanish, French, Italian, and German, (the park gets a fair number of international visitors.) I didn’t have to understand the reply. A smile and knowing wink is universal.

Day three in the throne. I got this! It’s kinda fun. As long as I don’t promise more than “I’ll look into it,” I’m golden.

Then life, as it is known to do, threw me a curve ball. One of the young ladies serving as an elf comes up to me and says, “Santa, you’re about to see three kids. They’ve been orphans for the past year. The foster parents keeping them have just been approved to adopt them, and they want YOU to tell them!”

I took about one deep breath, and there they were. No pressure, right? The girl was the oldest. Around twelve, she was obviously a non-believer by now, but playing along for her younger brothers. The ten-year-old was unsure. That phase where they don’t really think you’re real, but don’t want to blow their chances, just in case. The eight-year-old still had the faith. His eyes were large, brown, and round.

Unsure what to say at the moment, I fell back on the old stand-by, “What would you like for Christmas?” They said something, but honestly I didn’t hear a word, thinking to myself, “What can I say? What CAN I say?”

Then it came to me. I took another deep breath and said, “Those are great ideas. I’ll look into it, but I have something for you today.”

“What’s that Santa?” the oldest asked, obviously the spokesman for the group.

“A family,” I said.

They looked puzzled, but when I explained they would not have to leave the foster family, that they could stay together, well, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. Yeah, I teared up just now, again, though it was six years ago.

So what did I learn? In the Hero’s Journey, the Hero comes back changed by their Quest. Though I didn’t leave my throne, I had just been on quite a ride.

I learned that I wanted to be Santa Claus more than anything else in the world. I fully embraced the role after that. Santa has made me a kinder, and more patient, man. With my beard, I stand out anywhere I go. I have to be careful what I say and how I act. I never know where or when a child might see me. I have to be in tune with “the better angels of my nature,” whenever I am in public. (OK, I can’t eat ribs in public anymore. But it’s worth it!)

Santa has made me a better person. When I put on my super hero costume and go forth to fight for happiness, I never promise a toy, but I always offer a hug.

I have a photo of my back side as I am hugging an elderly black man. His name was Walter, and I met him at a gift exchange at an Alzheimer’s day care center. Every patient got a gift bag selected for them by the staff. I handed them out and hugged each one. Walter’s face is beaming, and a trick of the lighting perhaps, but I see a small halo around his head.

I got the photo from his daughter who tracked me down. She said her dad had been abandoned as a child, and had never had a visit from Santa his entire life.

The next year I was told that Walter had passed. His daughter told the director of the daycare center the photo of me hugging him had become his favorite, and at his funeral his daughter had that picture blown up and placed on an easel beside his open coffin.

That taught me how powerful even one moment can be in another person’s life. Don’t hold back. This moment may never come again.

The Greek philosopher Heraclitus once said that a man can never cross a river twice, for each time both he and the river will have changed. Every time I assume the role, it may be the first time for whoever I come into contact with. I may define Santa for the rest of their life.

No pressure, right? But here’s the thing. Just like Dumbo and his magic feather, the magic is not in the robe. It was inside me all the time. I just needed the license the costume gave me to tap into it.

You may not wear a red suit, but I hereby deputize you to share love and joy, wherever you go. You can do it. Find that better angel that has been inside you all along, and let them breathe. You, and all those around you, will be the better for it.

Hugs!

PS: Three nights ago, a little girl around five came up to me with her letter to Santa. On it were several letters carefully inscribed but not forming any words I could discern.

Me: “What does it say, Dear?”

Little Girl: “I don’t know, Santa. I can’t read!”

The adventure continues.

PPS: My wife was hired the following year as Mrs. Claus. Adventures are more fun with the right companions.

Bradley Harper‘s writing credits include a short story sold to The Strand and The Sherlock Holmes Magazine of Mystery, as well as his debut novel, A Knife in the Fog, featuring a young Arthur Conan Doyle, Professor Joseph Bell (Doyle’s inspiration for Holmes), and Margaret Harkness. Miss Harkness was an author and Suffragette who lived in the East End of London for a while to do research on her novels featuring the working poor. Together these “Three Musketeers” assist the London Metropolitan Police in the hunt for the man who became known as Jack the Ripper, until he begins hunting them!

Hanukkah Has Begun!

Posted on December 14, 2017December 14, 2017 by vlaw759

This is a holiday season in more than one way. If you are Jewish and don’t know the Christian tradition, I urge you to read about the history of the holiday, from pagan celebrations till today.

A history of Christmas
The season of Advent
A history of Jesus Christ
A history of Christmas trees / Santa Claus

If you are not Jewish, it’s more likely that you are aware of the Christian traditions but less so of the Jewish ones. I urge you to learn more.

Stay on the lookout for local events or TV specials that will teach you more about these holiday traditions. Maybe urge your book group to read along those lines! However you celebrate, happy holidays!

How St. Nicholas Became Santa Claus

Posted on December 22, 2015December 23, 2015 by vlaw759

This post is part of a series that might be characterized as Darwin’s Christmas. I will be taking a number of our current traditions and tracing their evolution.

Saint Nicholas, born around 280 AD in Patara (in modern-day Turkey) was a Greek Christian bishop famous for giving to the poor, perhaps giving away all his inherited wealth and traveling the country helping the poor and sick. One much-reported story is that he presented three impoverished daughters of a pious Christian with dowries so that they could marry, rather being sold into slavery or prostitution—which, incidentally, says a lot about women’s options then! Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of many, including archers, sailors, children, and pawnbrokers. He is typically portrayed as a bearded bishop in canonical robes, often thin and dour. But his image, too, has morphed.

During the Middle Ages, on the evening before December 6th, the name day of Saint Nicholas, children received gifts in his honor. Traditionally, this was considered a lucky day to make large purchases or to get married. The Reformation opposed the veneration of saints and the giving of gifts to children moved toward December 24th and/or 25th.

Saint Nicholas came to America and underwent a sea change during the 18th century. Newspapers in New York City (in New Amsterdam at the time) reported groups of Dutch families gathering to honor the anniversary of Saint Nicholas’s death. The name Santa Claus evolved from the name, Sinter Klass, a form of Sint Nikolaas, Dutch for Saint Nicholas. In 1809, Washington Irving published his “Knickerbocker History of New York” in which he mentioned St. Nick 25 times and referred to Saint Nicholas as the patron saint of New York. Some assert that he is responsible for remaking the original old, often stern bishop into the new “jolly St. Nick.”

In 1822, Clement Clarke Moore wrote a Christmas poem for his three daughters, “An Account of a Visit from St. Nicholas.” This poem—now commonly known as “Twas the Night Before Christmas”—established the visual imagery of the modern Santa Claus and his behavior. The image was solidified in 1881, when cartoonist Thomas Nast drew on the poem to create the first pictorial representation of Santa Claus.

Ta-da! We have Santa Claus: rotund, cheerful, full white beard and mustache, bright red suit trimmed with white fur, holding a sack laden with toys for lucky children. He travels by sleigh and climbs down the chimney.

Everyone knows today’s mall Santas. In 1841, thousands of children visited a Philadelphia shop to see a life-size Santa Claus mannequin. Not long after, stores attracted children and parents to see a “live” Santa Claus. Our current images of Santa Claus were further popularized by the Coca-Cola Company’s Christmas advertising in the 1930s

Education is the key to everything, and in 1937, Charles W. Howard established his Santa School, the oldest continuously-run such school in the world, teaching good Santa behavior and techniques.

There was a time, after the popularization of Santa keeping a list of who was naughty and who was nice, when Santa was thought to deliver a bundle of switches or a lump of coal to naughty children. This has largely dropped by the wayside.

Psychology has no clear position on whether perpetuating the myth of Santa Claus is healthy or unhealthy. On the healthy side are assertions concerning creativity and imagination. On the unhealthy side are assertions that it is disrespectful of children and undermines their trust in their parents. If this is an issue for you, Google “Psychology on Santa Claus” and make up your own mind.

Santa Claus figurine holding "Believe" sign

I will end in the spirit of the season, by noting TV producer Jonathan Meath’s observation that Santa is really the only cultural icon we have of a male who does not carry a gun, is all about peace, joy, giving, and caring for other people. Yay, Santa, in all your forms!