According to a survey conducted in October 2022, flowers and plants, as well as beauty products, were some of the most unwanted gifts for Christmas in the United States. Specifically, over 40 percent of surveyed consumers in the U.S. said they would not want to receive presents such as these over the holidays.
Considering all the gift-giving occasions during the year—from birthdays to anniversaries, graduations to weddings, Hanukah and Christmas to Valentine’s Day, baby showers to bridal showers—surely all of us have received unwanted presents. Maybe not the things in the 2022 survey, but something that just doesn’t hit the spot.
But how could you not be delighted with a slobbery, half-chewed squeaky toy?
So what to do? First you give an exasperated sigh, or possibly an eye roll, even a scowl. And then?
Return
Easily done if your gift came with a “gift receipt,” especially if it’s an exchange for a different size or color. But often you can exchange for a totally different item, store credit, or even cash!
Regift
Nearly anything can be happily destroyed as a pet toy, though not always safely.
A choice of long standing. If you don’t do scented candles—or plaid neck scarves, or whatever—someone among your family, friends, or neighbors probably does. You can save it for the next gift-giving occasion, or just ask around for who might be interested. Your trash might be someone else’s treasure.
But be careful if you go this route. You don’t want to risk regifting an item in front of the original giver. Or worse—giving an unwanted item directly back to the original giver!
Redesign
Most easily done with clothes by adding or taking away. Trim, such as bows, ruffles, or lace are simple to change. Open the top of a knit cap and it becomes a neck warmer. Sweaters can become vests. T-shirts or sweatshirts can become undershirts by removing the sleeves. Jeans can become shorts. Etc.
Lots of suggestions are available online.
Repurpose
Ill-fitting socks become chia pets!
When you can’t think of anyone who might want a Christmas ornament of a skull wearing a Santa hat, consider turning it into a Halloween decoration—with or without changing the color of the hat.
Neckties can become headbands. Many cloth items can become quilt pieces, patches, appliqués, pillows, doll clothes. Particularly outrageous items can find a new home in the “dress-up box” for children or cleaning cloths.
Donate
The perfect destination for your boss’s three-volume autobiography
Charity shops are happy to take most good quality gifts. If they’re new, they’ll go for a higher price. Some shops now even log the items you’ve donated and send a letter a few weeks later telling you how much your gifts have raised.
Goodwill takes nearly anything, any time of year.
Libraries are almost always happy to have books, keeping some for their stock and some for the perennial sales tables.
Sell
An especially attractive option if you already offer things on eBay or similar sites. But if you are a novice, before taking the plunge, consider whether it’s worth your time and effort to list, package, and mail for a one-off.
And consider consignment shops! Some specialize (in clothes, for example, or glassware) but many are more varied in their offerings.
Recycle
An option depending on where you live and what the gift is made of.
Toss It
When all else fails, send it to the dump. It’s harsh, and some would say wasteful. But in my opinion, that’s better than cluttering your mental and physical space.
Bottom Line: It’s okay to get rid of gifts that aren’t adding value to your life: donate it, sell it, recycle it. Let go of stuff so you can focus on what’s important in your life. Most people won’t even notice, especially the people who care about you.
Worldwide, more people think about reindeer today than on any other day of the year! And here’s the scoop.
Rangifer tarandus saintnicolas magicalus
According to the Alaska Department on Fish and Game, Santa’s reindeer (R.t. saintnicolas magicalus) look very similar to common reindeer or caribou, but have many characteristics that distinguish them from the seven other common subspecies.
Santa’s reindeer possess the unique and remarkable ability to fly. A strenuous conditioning program developed by Mr. and Mrs. Claus enables them to travel great distances in a short time, provided they receive frequent carrot snacks.
My personal observation of reindeer in Norway has led me to conclude that Santa’s reindeer also have a much greater affinity for bells compared to common reindeer.
In most subspecies of reindeer/caribou, the adult bulls shed their antlers in late October. So, given the date of Christmas, all the males would have dropped their antlers. Female reindeer use their antlers to brush away snow to find food in the winter, and pregnant females usually retain their antlers until calves are born in late May.
In all reported sightings, the antlers of Santa’s reindeer appear extremely velvety and robust in late December. This has fired a debate over whether Santa’s reindeer are all female. Because there are no data on when or if Santa’s reindeer shed their antlers, some claim that males with antlers in winter is just another unique difference between Santa’s reindeer and regular reindeer.
The names of Dasher, Dancer, and the rest of Santa’s antlered reindeer are gender-neutral, also suggesting to me that they all could be female.
Rudolph’s Biology
In any case, Rudolf is a boy. Small bulls and non-pregnant cows shed antlers in April, and reliable sources claim that Rudolph was very young when he first started flying with Santa Claus.
When reindeer need to cool down, they can increase blood flow to their extremities, including their noses. Because the hair on their noses is finer and lighter in color than in other areas, their noses can appear red, just like a human with flushed cheeks. Though the bright glowing seems to be artistic license, Rudolph’s red nose was likely just a result of his healthy circulatory system!
There is a story abroad that Blitzen and Rudolph are father and son, who have a loving relationship. During Rudolph’s childhood, Blitzen worried about what others would think of his son’s red nose and became angry when people found out and ridiculed him. Perhaps that was Rudolph’s mother?
Old Santeclaus with much delight His reindeer drives this frosty night. O’er chimneytops, and tracks of snow, To bring his yearly gifts to you.
Two years later, in 1823, the Troy Sentinel published the poem A Visit from St. Nicholas, commonly known as ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas. The poem featured eight flying reindeer pulling Santa’s sleigh and, for the first time, identified each team member by name.
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer began guiding Santa’s sleigh in 1939, when Robert L. May wrote the story of “the most famous reindeer of all” as a Christmas coloring book for his employer, the department store Montgomery Ward. The company gave away the coloring books as holiday gifts to children to entice their parents to visit and shop at the store. Before settling on Rudolph, May considered the names Rollo and Reginald!
In 1948, May’s brother-in-law Johnny Marks made the story into a song. It was featured in a cartoon shown in movie theaters, but wasn’t released as a stand-alone recording until 1949 when “The Singing Cowboy” Gene Autry recorded the song and its popularity soared. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is one of the biggest-selling Christmas songs of all time.
Leaving Fantasy Behind
Apart from Santa’s workshop, reindeer are a real thing. Humans domesticated reindeer in Eurasia over 2000 years ago. Today, depending on where you are, reindeer is a blanket name that includes both the domesticated and wild populations.
The scientific name for reindeer and caribou is Rangifer tarandus. The term Rangifer likely comes from the Old French word rangier for reindeer and the Latin word ferus, which translates to ‘wild’ or ‘untamed’.
Caribou live in the Arctic tundra and the boreal forests of Greenland, Scandinavia, Russia, Alaska, and Canada. There are two types of caribou (reindeer)—tundra caribou and forest and woodland caribou.
Reindeer vs. Caribou
All caribou and reindeer throughout the world are considered to be the same species, and, excluding Santa’s reindeer (R.t. saintnicolas magicalus), there are 7 subspecies.
Migration
Though most people use the terms ‘caribou’ and ‘reindeer’ interchangeably to refer to the same species, migration is a key difference.
Tundra caribou are larger in numbers and migrate between tundras and forests areas every year. They migrate in massive herds that can reach up to 500,000 individuals. ‘Caribou’ describes members of the Rangifer tarandus species living in North America, who migrate these long distances. According to a study of the longest terrestrial migrations in the world published in Scientific Reports, reindeer and gray wolves were the only species that exceeded 621 miles (1,000 kilometers). With their remarkably long legs, North American reindeer can travel an average of 23 miles daily.
‘Reindeer’ describes wild Rangifer tarandus living in Europe and Asia or domesticated caribou in North America.
Wolves are the greatest natural predator of caribou. For thousands of years, they have followed migrating caribou herds, killing mostly the aged, injured, or weak animals.
Although the similarities between reindeer and caribou are numerous, the differences are enough that they are classified as two subspecies.
Domestication
Domestication is the other main difference between reindeer and caribou, and many of the distinguishing traits are thought to result from that domestication.
Both male and female reindeer and caribou grow antlers — a trait unique in the deer family — although female reindeer antlers grow larger than female caribou antlers.
Reindeer are shorter, stouter and more sedentary than their long-legged caribou cousins, and although reindeer may migrate within their grazing range, they do not migrate long distances between wintering grounds and calving areas as caribou do.
Caribou bulls are larger than reindeer bulls, but reindeer cows generally weigh the same as caribou cows.
Reindeer have thicker, denser fur than caribou, although both have hollow guard hairs that keep them warm.
Russian reindeer pulling a sled
The reindeer breeding season begins about two to four weeks earlier than caribou, which results in reindeer calves being born at the end of April, while caribou calves are born at the end of May.
The Value of Reindeer
The main product of reindeer herding is meat. However, skins, bones, and horns are important raw materials for making clothes and handicrafts.
Meat and organs such as tongue, kidneys, brain, heart and liver are an essential food source. In Alaska, and Canada reindeer/caribou are an important food source, particularly in native communities throughout the north.
Reindeer meat is eaten widely in Norway and Finland.
Tallow or fat is used in recipes such as Eskimo ice cream and was burned as a light source.
Hard antlers and bone are used to make utensils, tools, and decorative objects.
Hides are used for clothing, mukluks, blankets, mittens, tents, boat coverings, sleeping bags, house coverings, and insulation.
Reindeer milk is some of the richest and most nutritious milk produced by any terrestrial mammal. It contains an impressive 22 percent butterfat and 10 percent protein. (Whole cow milk contains only three to four percent fat, and human milk contains three to five percent.) However, reindeer can only produce up to two cups daily. In Nordic countries, people use the milk of farmed reindeer to make butter and a kind of sweet cheese.
Antler velvet has been used in medicine since at least 100 BC, according to a silk scroll found in a Han tomb in China. Today, velvet is still used as a medicinal ingrediant in several countries, including China, Korea, and Indonesia.
Hair is edible! This practice has saved some groups from starvation.
Fun Facts About Reindeer
Antlers
Both male and female reindeer grow antlers, unique among the more than 45 species of deer where only the males have antlers. The males use their antlers primarily to battle for females whereas the females use theirs mainly to defend food sources. Males’ antlers grow up to about 50 inches long while females’ can reach up to 20 inches,
Compared to their body size, reindeer have the largest and heaviest antlers of all living deer species. A male’s antlers can be up to 51 inches long, and a female’s antlers can reach 20 inches.
Unlike horns which are never shed, antlers fall off and grow back larger each year. Male reindeer begin to grow antlers in February and female reindeer in May.
Both sexes finish growing their antlers at the same time but shed them at different times of the year. Typically, males drop their antlers in the late fall, leaving them without antlers until the following spring, while females keep their antlers through the winter until their calves are born in the spring.
Fur and Hair
Reindeer have thick, wooly undercoats, with a top layer of longer, tubular hairs. The hollow shafts allow the hairs to trap air, providing insulation to keep the animals warm in frigid environments. The hollowness of their coats is also what gives them their white color.
That hollow coat hairs (along with big feet) make reindeer excellent swimmers. They’re often seen crossing the Yukon River—the third longest in North America, a half mile wide in parts—mid-migration. They swim across these rough, wide rivers and can swim three times faster than the average human, up to 6 mph — which happens to be Michael Phelps’s top speed! According to the National Park Service, researchers have recorded calves just a few months old swimming between islands a mile and a half apart.
Reindeer hair covers their bodies from their noses to the bottom of their feet (hooves). The hairy hooves may look funny, but they give reindeer a good grip when walking on frozen ground, ice, mud, and snow.
Reindeer are the only deer species to have hair completely covering their nose. Their specialized nose hair helps to warm incoming cold air before it enters their lungs. Their good sense of smell helps reindeer find food hidden under snow, locate danger, and recognize direction. Reindeer mainly travel into the wind so they can pick up scents.
Behavior
Reindeer eat mosses, herbs, ferns, grasses, and the shoots and leaves of shrubs and trees, especially willow and birch. In winter, they make do with lichen (also called reindeer moss) and fungi, scraping the snow away with their hooves to get it. Lichen is exceedingly high in carbohydrates and contains a fair amount of vitamins and protein. An average adult reindeer eats 9 to 18 pounds of vegetation a day.
Reindeer travel, feed, and rest together throughout the day in herds of 10 to a few hundred. In spring, they may form super-herds of 50,000 to 500,000 animals. The herds generally follow food sources, traveling south up to 1,000 miles when food is hard to find in winter.
Reindeer are the only deer species humans have managed to domesticate widely.
Caribou and reindeer are important to their ecosystems. In the tundras and forests, they help regulate vegetation and cycle nutrients through the soil to encourage growth.
Baby Reindeer
In yet another departure from the rest of the deer family, reindeer aren’t called bucks, does, or fawns. Instead, like cattle, a male is a bull (or in some cases a stag), a female is a cow and a baby is a calf.
Calf in Finland
Cow with calf
Females give birth to one calf each year. Calves can stand within minutes of being born. Within 90 minutes of birth, calves can run as fast as an Olympic sprinter. In a matter of hours, they can keep up with the herd. It isn’t abnormal for calves to run at speeds of up to 50 mph for 30-some miles a day during migration. That speed is only slightly slower than the pronghorn (top speed 55 mph), the second-fastest land animal in the world. This quick development helps the vulnerable young survive against predators like wolves, bears, and lynx.
Also an anomaly for the deer family, reindeer calves aren’t born with spots. According to Henderson State University, spots on a young deer are an adaptation for survival. Because other deer can’t run as fast as adults when they’re young, their spots help their mothers locate them if they’ve been outrun. When running from a predator, the spots break up the pattern of the rushing herd. However, reindeer calves can run as fast as their adult counterparts within hours, so they haven’t developed the adaptation.
Meat
Reindeer tastes like venison. It is popular in Scandinavian countries where it is served with sweet sauces most of the time. If you like venison, you will probably like reindeer. Both are available in many forms, some more gamy than others, and in both the back strap is the best cut.
Reindeer meat is very healthful. It has more vitamins and micro nutrients and less fat than pork or beef.
Reindeer meat is also an ethical choice for free grazing and a cleaner environment.
Reindeer meat is very popular throughout Europe, widely available in supermarkets and restaurants as steak, stew, ribs, jerky, sausage, soup, smoked, and fried.
Weird Deer
Caribou/reindeer hooves are large enough to distribute their weight, which helps them walk easily on snow and paddle through water. During winter, their footpads shrink and harden, the World Animal Foundation says, exposing the hoof rim so it can cut into ice and snow for traction. The hoof’s hollow underside also helps them dig through snow to reach lichens, their primary winter food source. In summer, the underside is spongy and soft to help them grip the earth.
Thanks to an intwined arrangement of arteries and veins in their legs, reindeer have a counter-current heat exchange. Like Arctic foxes and moose, this allows them to “recycle” their body heat rather getting cold feet standing in the snow!
Researchers at University College London discovered that reindeer are the only mammals that can see ultraviolet light. Their ability to see ultraviolet light helps the animals spot food and predators more clearly in the glaring light of the Arctic.
Reindeer in Danger
The involvement of young people in Norway and Sweden in raising and herding caribou is hindered by legislative acts, and the lack of pastures and economic opportunities hamper the growth of the industry.
Caribou are classified by the IUCN RedList as Vulnerable (VU). Prior to 2015, they were classified as Least Concern (LC). Caribou have experienced a population decline of 40% over the last three generations (21 to 27 years).
The numerous threats contributing to this decline include habit disturbance through human activity, hunting, predation, and climate change.
Bottom Line: There’s a lot more to reindeer than Christmas!
Reading, unless you’re reading aloud, tends to be a solitary past-time. However, watching movies based on or inspired by books can be a group activity. Watching movies inspired by Christmas books could be a fun way to combine the best of both worlds while visiting loved ones during the holiday season. So here, for your watching pleasure, is a selection of Christmas movies based on books.
How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Although not as old as some, How the Grinch Stole Christmas (Dr. Seuss) is definitely a Christmas classic. Three film adaptations of the story have come out, in 1966, 2000, and 2018.
The Polar Express
The Polar Express by Chris Van Allsburg. The 2004 movie has had a mixed reception, but it appears that most people like the book.
‘Twas the Night Before Christmas
Clement Moore’s 1823 poem Account of a Visit from Saint Nicholas is more commonly known as ’Twas the Night Before Christmas. There was a silent film version of the story made in 1905. The original plot is a secondary story in the 1974 film by Arthur Rankin and Jules Bass—but then, most movies vary from the books. The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) retains almost nothing of the original story except Santa Claus and his reindeer!
A Christmas Carol also inspired Philip Van Doren Stern’s 1943 short story The Greatest Gift. In 1946, Frank Capra produced It’s a Wonderful Life, loosely based on Stern’s story.
With its snowy setting and themes of overcoming winter, Hans Christian Andersen’s fairy tale The Snow Queen, is often included with Christmas stories. The story has been made into several films, ballets, operas, ice skating productions, television series, and animes. The 2013 Disney film Frozen is loosely based on the original Andersen story.
Terry Pratchett’s 1996 comedic novel Hogfather, though taking place in an entirely fantasy world, “begins on a midwinter festival bearing a remarkable similarity to your Christmas.” In 2006, the BBC adapted the novel as a four-hour miniseries.
Technically, Miracle on 34th Street shouldn’t be here, as the book by Valentine Davies and the movie came out simultaneously in 1947. But who wants to be technical? The film was remade in 1994.
And if you want still more movie options, go to imbd.com for 100+ Christmas movies based on books.
Of course, you should feel free to read the books instead—or even in addition!
This is an update of an earlier blog entry from December 30, 2015. I wrote this as part of a series that might be characterized as Darwin’s Christmas, tracing the evolution ofa number of our current Christmas traditions.
Gift Giving Origins
Blue-robed Santas reflect the influences of Odin, Saturn, Grandfather Snow, and Tovlis Babua.
The earliest gift-bringer I read about was Odin, a Pagan Germanic god who is thought to have influenced concepts of Father Christmas in numerous ways, including sporting a long white beard and riding through the night sky. Odin wore a blue-hooded cloak and rode through the midwinter sky on an eight-footed horse named Sleipnir, visiting his people with gifts. According to pre-Christian Norse tradition, he entered through chimneys or fire holes on the solstice.
The Germanic goddess Holda presided over the summer and winter solstices. In the winter, she presided over the first snow, bringing joy and good fortune, traveling in her sleigh and dressed in a red or white cloak.
In 16th century England (during the reign of Henry VIII), Father Christmas was pictured as a large man in green or scarlet robes lined with fur. Popular custom associated Father Christmas more with good cheer, peace, joy, good food and wine, and revelry. In 1616, Ben Johnson presented at court the play Christmas: His Masque in which the character of ‘Old Christmas’ presides over holiday parties with his children ‘Misrule’, ‘Carol’, ‘Mince Pie’, ‘Mumming’, ‘Wassail’, and ‘New Yeares Gift’.
Representations of Santas around the world, L-R: Hungary, 1884; Austria, 1904; Russia, 1903; Canada, 1930; U.S.A., 1935; Mexico, 1923; U.S.A., 1925; Holland, 1920.
Father Christmas merged with St. Nicholas (Sinterklaas), which morphed into Santa Claus. Suffice it to say that most people around the world who celebrate Christmas also have a tradition of a Christmas gift-bringer: Santa Claus, St. Nicholas, Pere Noël, Father Christmas, Christkindl, the Wise Men (Els Tres Reis), Olentzero, Grandfather Snow (თოვლის ბაბუა), or an old gift-giving witch called Befana (in Italy). In Scandinavia a jolly elf named Jultomten delivered gifts in a sleigh drawn by goats. And in Russia, an elderly woman named Babouschka (grandmother) leaves gifts by children’s bedsides on January 5th.
Mythical gift givers leave presents in different places. In much of Europe, children put their shoes or boots by the door, ready for presents. In Italy, the UK, and the USA presents are left in stockings—and, of course, under the Christmas tree.
Gift Giving Timing
People open presents on different days as well. Children in Holland often receive the earliest presents, on December 5th for St. Nicholas’ Eve. On St. Nicholas’ Day (6th of December), children in Belgium, Germany, Czech Republic, and some other European countries open some of their presents. Christmas Day (25th of December) is the most popular gift day for the UK, USA, Japan, and many other countries. In religions that follow the Julian or Orthodox calendar, children open gifts on Orthodox Christmas Day, which typically corresponds to January 7th. Many people in Catholic countries such as Spain and Mexico don’t open gifts until the Feast of the Epiphany, on January 6th.
Gift Receivers
Alilo in Tbilisi
Who gets presents has shifted dramatically over the centuries. At the Roman midwinter festival of Saturnalia, the rich gave gifts and hosted banquets for the poor. Odin gave presents to “his people.” The goddess Holda spread good fortune to all those who honored her. St. Nicholas gave to the poor.
Dawnsyr Y Fari Lwyd
According to the Christian Science Monitor, in early modern Europe, gift giving also had roots in Christmas begging, when bands of young men, often rowdy, would wassail from house to house, demanding handouts from the gentry. The Welsh Y Fari Lwyd or Mari Lwyd custom includes revelers dressed as skeltal horse arguing with households to demand entry and beer, all in rhyme and song. For Alilo, Georgian Orthodox children dress in white or in religious costumes and sing carols house to house in exchange for wine, sweets, and an egg. It wasn’t till the mid-1800s that gift-giving shifted from the poorer classes to children.
On the other hand, giving gifts to heads of state, kings and queens, emperors, etc, pre-dates the birth of Jesus.
Modern Gift Givers
Today, it seems everybody gives gifts to everybody—an impression strongly supported by advertising and merchant specials! Christmas begging from charities is rampant. Salvation Army kettles (which first appeared in 1891) are on sidewalks all over the world. Employers often give actual gift baskets or holiday bonuses. Co-workers, neighbors, and friends exchange gifts. Parents give gifts to children, but people also give gifts to parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings and step siblings, and second cousins twice removed.
By now, all the glittery wrappings are probably torn asunder, the gifts put away, exchanged, maybe saved for re-gifting, and the leavings look more like this.
And I’m left wondering: How many Christmas presents are gifts and how many are perceived obligations?.
A week ago, I wrote about all the packages that hadn’t arrived before Christmas. Well, as 2021 began, the backlog continued. Again, drawing from my circle of family and friends, the waiting continued.
Some local offices haven’t switched to the newest technology yet.
. .
LJ: I’m SO frustrated. We mailed a box of gifts to Virginia on December 7. It sat in Cuyahoga Falls [Ohio] PO till December 15 before it arrived 7 miles away in Akron regional distribution center, arriving on December 17. It has been sitting there since, no movement shown in the tracking system! I know all the problems they have been having this year, but what is going on now? It only needs to get to Fredericksburg now. Just a little farther…
. .
NP: We’ve had the same problem here. A package G was expecting sat 10(!) miles from our house for more than a week.
Pretty soon, the packages might start opening themselves.
. .
KC: My box is still in Akron. No movement. The cookies are stale.
. .
TB: Me too, L! I hope EL finally got hers.
DA: BTW—we were not nearly as happy with UPS & FedEx. Several packages were randomly tossed “somewhere” in the vicinity of the house. One package (of nice chocolates) sat for a day and a half out in the rain before the meter man saw it & alerted us.
LJ: MJ had a photo of a package he sent to his sister in Buffalo. The Amazon guy left it in the snow. M got the delivery photo notice and he sent it to his sister. If they can’t get up to the house because of heavy snow, delivery people should have some way of notifying the recipient. At least Amazon’s photos help with that.
Good thing this one wasn’t left out in the snow.
TB: Our son’s pkg took almost 3 weeks from Oregon [to Ohio].
LJ: Weird, since the packages I sent to Florida and Memphis arrived at their destinations in time for Christmas with time to spare. Only my East and West destinations were screwed up. Arizona made it yesterday and Virginia is the one still traveling. That was the shortest journey by road mileage.
LJ: Mine is still at Dulles in Virginia; this is the 31st day. It needs to get to Fredericksburg. I’m happy you got yours before the New Year, however.
KC: I received a message on Dec 20 that my package was to be delivered Dec 3! It arrived on the 22nd!
There is a network distribution center in Cleveland that has been severely backlogged since September. Perhaps the letter carriers should upgrade from tricycles.
MH: I think Ohio is the problem! D had an order for pants from LLBean and there were in the center near Columbus for a month! It wasn’t a Christmas present so it didn’t matter. We didn’t realize so many people were having this problem. In Ohio’s defense, I’m sure the diversion of trucks for vaccine delivery and the major storms were a factor.
LJ: There is something wrong with the Ohio to Virginia connection.
SB: Yup, still waiting for mine. Jan 6th now.
DM: My friend ordered a Christmas present for her husband on 12/2 and by 1/4 it still hadn’t arrived!
Australian mail is delivered faster because their tricycles are yellow.
DA: We must be the only people alive who had no (zero, null, nada) problems with package delivery. Our mailings to California, New Jersey, and Boston were delivered exactly when the tracking said they’d be. On the other hand, “normal” mail is quite another thing: no regular magazine deliveries (New Yorker, etc.), one priority mail that was sent from Hiram to our Hiram PO Box (for $3.80) took seven days. (Simply bizarre.) Not a single package or card from Europe has arrived yet—but Australian mail has exceeded all expectations. Tell me it’s not a plan to destroy the USPS so that it can be privatized….
[You may recall that in my blog about the Great Delivery Debacle posted 12/29, I offered three possible explanations—other than sheer overload—but an effort to privatize wasn’t one of them!]
Since January 1, a dam seems to have broken—but still no rhyme or reason I can find!
My order of poodles has finally arrived!
January 2-4, I received 11 packages, everything from nutritional supplements to a present I’d ordered to give as a present. Saturday and yesterday packages were delivered morning and afternoon.
Because you must be waiting with bated breath to know about the package from my sister, I won’t keep you in suspense: box of presents she mailed in Lancaster, OH, 12/11, arrived Saturday, 1/2! I was sorry to see that she had paid $20.40 for priority shipping!
Similarly, a standard 8.5X11-inch family calendar mailed from Massachusetts, $9.90 for two-day delivery, arrived after 5 days.
The other packages, mailed from all over the country between December 18 and 28, all arrived together. I noticed that two from Florida on the same day, one priority and one first class arrived together.
Surprise, shock, and awe! An item scheduled for delivery on January 6 arrived January 4!
Some of the delivery vehicles are a bit out of date.
There is a method to all of this madness… sort of. Several factors combined this year to delay mail and package delivery schedules in every company. The various delivery services—US Postal Service, FedEx, UPS, Amazon, and others—often work together to carry goods to their destinations.
In particular, the Post Office is often responsible for delivering mail to individual residences in less populated areas, regardless of which company began the shipping. This means that a delay in any of the delivery services almost always ripples out.
Holiday delivery surges happen every year, but this year was extra special! You may remember some disruptions in US mail services from this past year, highlighted again at election time. Many of those disruptions are still in place.
I still think the new guy looks shifty.
Sorting equipment that was removed and destroyed has not been replaced. Delivery trucks have not been serviced and so have broken down. Employees are still exposed to COVID, and many are sick or have passed away.
Kim Frum, a senior public relations representative for USPS, released a statement that read, in part, “While every year the Postal Service carefully plans for peak holiday season, a historic record of holiday volume compounded by a temporary employee shortage due to the COVID-19 surge, and capacity challenges with airlifts and trucking for moving this historic volume of mail are leading to temporary delays.”
Employees at Amazon, FedEx, DHL, Hermes, and UPS also interact regularly with the public and thus are exposed to increased risk of COVID. International service has been disrupted because of travel restrictions. Everyone is dealing with increased volumes because people are ordering things online to comply with quarantine orders.
. .
The Postal Police take their job pretty seriously.
The madness comes from playing Russian roulette with your packages. Will your box be the one in the back corner of the truck? Will your letter be the one that won’t fit in the bag and has to be left for the next round? Will your parcel be the one that hasn’t been sorted by the end of the shift and must stay in the warehouse until tomorrow? Most chancy of all: whose mail will that shifty new guy take to the TV studio with him?
. .
Bottom line: I’m waiting to see what the new mailing normal will be.
The logical answer would be, “We celebrate the birth of Christ on December 25th because that’s when He was born.” But in this instance, the logical answer is probably wrong.
Neither the Bible nor any other record dates Jesus’s actual day of birth. In addition, the season when shepherds would be watching their flocks by night and when the census was taken would argue that the actual birth was either spring or autumn.
According to Stephen Nissenbaum, author of The Battle for Christmas, early Christians weren’t bothered by not knowing Jesus’s birthday for “It never occurred to them that they needed to celebrate his birthday.”
Further, according to Nissenbaum, the Church got into something of a crisis, with people tending to believe that Jesus never existed as a man. Instituting a birthday celebration was a way to counteract that trend.
The first recorded date of Christmas being celebrated on December 25th was 336AD, during the time of the first Christian Roman Emperor, Constantine. Perhaps he chose that date because Pagan Romans would be celebrating the Winter Solstice, Saturnalia, and “Dies Natalis Solis Invicti” (birth of the unconquered sun god, Mitra) anyway.
Another possible explanation stems from Jewish tradition. Male babies were circumcised and given their names eight days after their birth. Church elders may have settled upon the beginning of the new year as the Naming Day of Jesus; eight days before that would be December 25th.
Pope Julius I is said to have declared that the birth of Jesus would be celebrated on the 25th of December. However, the sources for this claim are extremely questionable.
One very early Christian tradition held that on March 25th the Angel Gabriel told Mary she would have a very special baby. The Annunciation is still celebrated on March 25th—and nine months later is December 25th.
The early Church celebrated Christmas, the Epiphany, and the Baptism of Jesus all on January 6th. In some parts of the UK, January 6th is still called Old Christmas.
Then, too, not everyone celebrates Christmas on December 25th even today. Many Christians use other dates or December 25th on non-Gregorian calendars. The dates below are all Gregorian.
January 6–The Armenian Apostolic Church and the Armenian Catholic Church
January 7–Eastern Orthodox and Byzantine Rite Catholics in Russia, Georgia, Ukraine, Macedonia, Moldova, Montenegro, Serbia, Greek Patriarchate of Jerusalem, Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahedo Church
January 7 or 8–Coptic Orthodox Church of Alexandria
January 19–The Armenian Patriarchate of Jerusalem.
If you’re particularly bored (or really itching for a fight) in the next few weeks, go online and declare that you know the definitive birthdate of Jesus. No matter what date you claim, people will swarm to prove you wrong.
Arguments both for and against December 25th can be rather, er, creative.
Part of the downside of Christmas is this myth that everything and everyone is merry and bright, and if you aren’t, you must be a Scrooge. Or a Grinch. Or Burgemeister Meister Burgher. Indeed, much of what follows also applies to Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Ōmisoka, and other holidays too numerous to mention. Almost everyone (every character?) suffers one or more of these downsides of typical celebrations.
Exposure Fatigue
“Fairytale of New York” by The Pogues reflects the loneliness despair of Christmas.
Going into a store in October and see “decorations” for Halloween, Thanksgiving, AND Christmas
Christmas music that begins to be played everywhere before Thanksgiving
Christmas music gets old fast, particularly for people working in retail
Commercials touting the “perfect” gift
The pervasiveness of sappy Christmas movies (and over-exposure to the good ones, such as “It’s a Wonderful Life” and “Miracle on 34th Street”)
Physical Fatigue
Decorating
Food preparation
Package wrapping and/or mailing
Attending celebratory events, especially navigating office/work place parties
Divorce lawyers have their busiest month in January
Financial Strains
Why does everyone want a pony?
Feeling pressed to give a gift of equivalent value, even when the “gift lists” for giver and recipient aren’t the same
Dealing with a year when one’s gift-giving must be cut/downsized in number and/or expense and it will be obvious
Higher electric bill for huge outdoor displays
Travel, tickets, decorations, food, etc., can drain bank accounts and max out credit cards even without buying gifts
Physical Health
Emergency room visits are up 5-12% around Christmas
Slips and falls on icy walkways or while putting up decorations
Sharp object injuries from unfamiliar cooking utensils, new toys, assembling gifts
Falls from a height
Workplace accidents
Abdominal discomfort from overeating
Psychiatric disorders exacerbated by stress and crowds
Poisonings
Incorrectly prepared food
Overconsumption of alcohol
Disruption of healthy patterns
Abandoning diets or eating irregularly
Loss of sleep
Failure to follow doctor’s instructions for treatment and/or medication
A typical Christmas meal is likely to be two-to-three times the recommended daily calorie count
Indulging in meals, cakes, pies, chocolates, or whatever sweets
Cookies, biscuits, candy, homemade treats brought in to the workplace or shared by shops for the entire season
Stress levels are almost certain to be higher than usual
Stress contributes to heart disease, stroke, and cancer
Stress leading to immune system breakdowns, leading to colds, for example
Mingling with more people exposes them to more infections, especially flu and flu-like symptoms
Falls, cuts, and burns result in tens of thousand of visits to the ER
Alcohol consumption resulting in alcohol poisoning, broken bones from skips and fall, car and home accidents, etc.
Domestic violence is up about one-third compared to an average day
An ambulance driver explained it to me this way:
“It’s like everyone’s on a hurt-yourself schedule, same every year. Early morning starts with the drunk drivers going home from parties, sometimes the homeless with hypothermia, depends on the weather. Then the kids get up way too early and open their presents and start hitting each other with them or falling off anything with wheels and breaking any bone you can think of.
Even the angels are drinking too much!
“After that, you get a mix of cooking accidents and alcohol poisonings through the afternoon. Eventually, people hit their limit with family, have too much to drink, and start beating on each other. That’s also about the time ‘lonely hearts’ start calling us, asking to go to the hospital just because they have no place else to go and they don’t want to be alone.
“People eat too much at dinner and get the ‘too-much-macaroni sweats.’ They get heartburn and think they’re having a heart attack. We get more alcohol calls, either people fighting or passing out.
“And then everyone heads home, driving drunk. Better hope your tree doesn’t catch on fire. Happy Holidays.”
Mental Health
There is a MYTH that suicides peak around Christmas – they actually peak in spring
That said, it is breakup season
The peak breakup time is the two weeks before Christmas
Overall, holiday depression is a real thing
Family conflicts
Financial woes
Expectations of perfection
Singles watching couples get all mushy
Loneliness is highlighted, especially for older people who live alone and have no one available with whom to celebrate
People 65 and older are twice as likely to spend Christmas alone, compared to younger people
The loss of a family member—previous or recent—is especially painful
Being/fearing being left out of desirable events
Mistletoe invites unwanted advances
People with birthdays anywhere near Christmas often find the events conflated
Dealing with someone who has problems, like alcoholism or domestic violence
Wishing to skip Christmas because of other events in one’s life
Accessing helpful services that normally help one cope can be more difficult
Finding other religious festivals or holidays fade in comparison to Christmas
Overall, people are more likely to experience anxiety, sleep disturbances, headaches, loss of appetite, and poor concentration
Call rates to help hotlines spike on Christmas Eve
The original lyrics were a lot more depressing.
Environmental Downside
It’s after midnight! Wake up! Time for presents and sugar highs!
Massive amounts of trash going to landfills
Decorations
Single-use wrapping paper
Food waste
Imported foods enlarging your carbon footprint
Energy consumption
Traveling burning fossil fuels
Turning up the heat
Electric lights inside and outside
The End
Taking down/storing items for next year
Missing the buzz and activity
Realizing that nothing can be done about many things now regretted
Queen Elizabeth doesn’t take down her Christmas decorations until early February, in memory of her father’s death.
Bottom line: These are all for typical Christmases. Consider which might be eased and which might be exacerbated in the year of COVID?
There are those, for example David C. Pack writing in The Real Truth magazine, who denounce the pagan origins of Christmas trees and other greenery. Pack cites Jeremiah 10:2-5 to support his assertion that we should have nothing to do with Christmas trees.
I am not among those. The reality of the world is that things morph and change—the meaning of words, clearly, but other symbols as well. So let’s take a look at the consensus around the evolution of the Christmas tree.
Long before the coming of Christianity, evergreen plants had a special meaning for people in winter. Ancient Europeans hung evergreen boughs over their doors and windows. In many countries, people believed that these would keep away witches, ghosts, evil spirits, and illness. The Romans used fir trees to decorate their temples at the festival of Saturnalia. Today, Christians use it as a sign of everlasting life with God. Why can’t it symbolize all those things?
Although evergreen trees are the through-line, in parts of northern Europe, cherry or hawthorn plants or branches were brought inside in hopes they would bloom in time for Christmas.
Many early Christmas trees were hung upside down from the ceiling.
The first documented use of tree at Christmas and New Year celebrations was in 1510, in Riga, the capital of Latvia. After the ceremony (involving men wearing black hats) the tree was burned. This is sometimes associated with the yule log.
The first person to bring a tree into the house, in the way we know it today, is thought to have been the German preacher Martin Luther in the 1500s. The lore goes that he was walking home in winter, was impressed with the stars shining through tree branches, and cut a tree to take home. He put small lit candles on the branches to share his vision with his family.
There are other stories, for example about St. Boniface of Crediton leaving England to travel to Germany. But this isn’t an encyclopedia, so I’ll move along.
But another point of consensus seems to be that Christmas trees took hold in Germany and spread across the world from there. In Germany, early trees were decorated with edible things like gingerbread and gold-covered apples. But by 1605, they were decorated with paper roses, apples, wafers, gold foil, and sweets.
The Christmas tree came to Britain sometime in the 1830s, and became popular in 1841 when Queen Victoria’s German husband had a Christmas tree at Windsor Castle. From England to the United States, from candles to electric lights, the evolution continued.
Artificial Christmas trees have long been popular, from the trees made from colored ostrich feathers in the Edwardian period on. Over the years, artificial trees have been made from feathers, papier mâché, metal, glass, and lots of plastic. Now lawns sometimes sport inflatable trees!
So, if pre-Christians and Christians both found good in the green of midwinter, fine with me! I plant hellebores and other evergreens where I can see them on the shortest days of the year.
Chocolate Santas with marzipan masks made by Hungarian chocolatier Laszlo Rimoczi.
The Charles W. Howard Santa Claus School is the oldest in existence. Before 1937, Santas were pretty much on their own, and any man with a red suit would do.
Charles W. Howard Santa Claus School
OUR MISSION: To uphold the traditions and preserve the history of Santa Claus while providing students with the necessary resources to improve and further define their individual presentations of Santa and Mrs. Claus, allowing them to enter the hearts and spread the Christmas spirit to everyone they meet.
At the Charles W. Howard Santa Claus School, more than 200 aspiring Santas gather each year to attend a three-day series of classes where they learn everything from the history of Saint Nicholas to reindeer habits.
Each year, about 200 Santas (including a handful of Mrs. Clauses) attend class in Midland—but not everybody who applies gets accepted. Co-Dean Holly Valent rejects Santas who don’t seem interested in children or singing. (In other words, Santas who appear to be in it only for the money.) Additionally, she has to place around 40 prospective Santas on a waiting list each year. Thankfully, the workshop in Midland is not the only Santa school under the North Pole.
Child Psychology is the Name of the Game
The most important aspect of being a good Santa is learning how to genuinely listen to all kinds of children. “[Y]ou have to be on your toes all the time, because you never know what the children are going to ask you,” Mary Ida Doan, who plays Mrs. Claus, told WJRT. (Doan would know: She’s a member of the International Santa Claus Hall of Fame.)
During the workshop, the Santas get schooled in child psychology and learn handy tricks from experts and each other: How to deal with squirmy children, crying children, children who are afraid of you, and more. The Santas even learn basic sign language. “It’s important to be able to spread Christmas cheer to all children,” a Santa named Bill told Reuters.
An organization called Santa America provides extra training for Santas to connect with children who need a different kind of communication to reach all that Christmas cheer. The frenetic atmosphere at a typical Santa’s Grotto can be overwhelming and terrifying for any child. Santas who have trained with Santa America can create a quieter, calmer, slower space. These “Sensitive Santas” are in demand at Christmas for hospitals, very young children, children on the autism spectrum, and many others.
Santa America also connects local Santas and their companions with people who might need a visit from Santa Claus any time of the year: during a hospital stay, after major disasters, when a parent is deployed overseas. Part of their mission is to prove that Santa Claus, Mrs. Claus, and the elves never go off on vacation when children need them.
Gaining Background Knowledge Means Meeting Real Reindeer
Since kids are apt to ask Santa anything, it’s best that Santa draws his answers from real experience. What are the reindeer like? To find out, Santa students study reindeer habits and get to meet real reindeer.
How are toys made? The Santas spend quality time learning how to make wooden playthings.
The Santas also attend lectures about St. Nick’s backstory and the North Pole. “Know who you are,” Valent tells an assembly of Santas, according to CNN. “Know your legend. Know where you came from.”
They Have to Practice Their “Ho-Ho-Hos” and Their “Do-Re-Mis”
Despite being blind, this boy was able to see Santa during his visit.
Since each Santa must prepare for radio and TV interviews, much of Santa school focuses on teaching students how to craft an accurate and authentic persona. “For example, they’re advised to create a backstory for their ‘elves,’ pulling names and characteristics from kids and grandkids in their own circles,” Kathleen Lavey reported for the Lansing State Journal. It also means learning how to deliver a hearty but balanced Ho Ho Ho. “You have to do it mild,” Tom Valent explained. “It’s got to be a laugh.” (And to ensure the Santas are really in the Christmas spirit, they’re also taught how to sing with cheer.)
There’s More Dancing Involved Than You Might Think
It’s not enough to nail the laugh. Being Santa requires you to be a full-body actor—and that means perfecting the big man’s jolly, bouncing swagger. The school is stuffed with movement lessons. “The school fitness teacher had them dance as if they were wrapping presents, baking cookies and filling stockings to classic Christmas tunes,” Christinne Muschi wrote for Reuters.
Santas also learn how to properly ease in and out of a sleigh and learn yoga and breathing exercises to keep limber. (It’s important work: Hoisting kids up and down from your lap for hours takes its toll.) As Tom Valent told CNN, “Santa is a healthy outdoorsman.”
Being Santa is not for the faint of heart or the faint of sinus. Pet photos with Santa are increasingly popular, often as part of a fundraiser. The Humane Society, Paws for a Cause, Sidewalk Dog, and many local animal shelters ask Santas to pose for photos with dogs, cats, hamsters, snakes, turtles, and any other pet they can safely hold. Better take that Benadryl!
They Receive Financial Advice
The cardboard versions are much cheaper!
At Santa school—which costs $550 for new students—they teach classes on marketing, accounting, and taxes. That’s because being a freelance Santa is not cheap. A Santa with a bare chin is advised to buy a custom beard and wig that can cost up to $1800. And while a generic suit costs about $500, a personalized one can run over $2000. Add to that $700 for a pair of authentic boots. And then grooming expenses. Oh, and makeup.
Santas Get Lessons in Grooming
I don’t think this Yugoslavian Santa was paying attention to the make-up lesson.
At school, Santas also learn how to curl their mustaches and groom their hair and beards (or wigs) to create a windblown I-just-got-out-of-the-sleigh look. They receive lessons in bleaching their hair to get a snow-white glisten as well as lessons in applying makeup.
According to Lavey, teachers show other Santas all the insider secrets: “How to take the shine off their foreheads with powder, pink up their cheeks with rouge, and add stardust to their beards with hairspray that contains glitter.”
The big secret to making Santa’s beard smell magical? Peppermint oil.
Santa Day School
The Simpsons offer a reasonably priced alternative, but it is only open to two-dimensional Santas with three fingers.
For those who can’t—or won’t—spend three intensive days and nights in Midlands, Michigan, there are options! In-person schools around the country and online for DYIers.
In November, 2018, Business Insider did an article on Santa schools, particularly the finances involved. Here are several quotes from that article.
Santa Doug Eberhardt of the Northern Lights Santa Academy displaying a variety of historical Santa trends.
“There’s two kinds of Santas: There are professional Santas and there are guys in red suits,” Santa Rick, a former mediator and divorce arbiter who runs the Northern Lights Santa Academy in Atlanta, Georgia, told Vox. “And the difference for me is there are those who want to better themselves and learn and master the trade, and there are the others.” This Santa school also has classes for Mrs. Claus and elves.
“I’m very high-energy, so I tend to put on a little bit of a show: The Night Before Christmas, and caroling, and magic,” said Santa Jim Manning, who is the official Santa Claus for Boston’s tree lighting and has covered the Red Sox Christmas card. “A lot of people think being Santa Claus means just showing up, sitting on the couch, and letting kids sit in your lap. But what I do is a lot more.” To the right, see Santa Jim jumping out of an airplane.
Fashion Santa of Toronto has a slightly different take on the traditional red suit and jolly belly.
“Rick, of the Northern Lights Santa Academy, told Vox that high-end Santas can earn up to $25,000 a season, but the cost of travel, lodging, and garb can eat into the pay. A quality Santa costume and accessories costs at least $1,000 and a beard set made of human hair can range from $1,800 to $2,500, he said.”
Only the very bravest Santas are willing to risk turtle bites at the same time as dog fur on their suits.
Not only does the IUSC offer courses around the world, they have a degree program recognizing a student’s years of dedication. A Santa or Mrs. Claus can earn a Doctorate of Santaclausology (PhD), with options for further advanced study.
Unfortunately, all 2020 International University of Santa Claus in-person classes have been cancelled. Online courses are available, so aspiring Santas can ask their grandkids for help logging in to Zoom classes!
Santa is a Super-Spreader
2020 is an atypical year. (You heard it here first!) And this is true for Santas and Santa schools as well. Dr. Fauci has assured the public that Santa Claus is naturally immune to COVID-19, but Santa can still spread the virus. Santa Claus, Father Christmas, Grandfather Frost, Sinterklaas, and all other Christmas gift-bringers have been declared essential workers and therefore exempt from quarantine or isolation rules.
Some Santas are adapting with smaller grottos, shorter visits, and lots of hand sanitizer. Others are setting up plexiglass barriers or arranging for children to stay more than six feet away. A few mall Santa Grottos are even setting up holographic Santas for photos.
However, possibly the safest option for Santa and for kids is to visit Santa digitally.
JingleRing will allow Santa and Mrs. Claus to speak to kids one-on-one with their very own North Pole TV platform.
AirBnBhas created virtual visits with Santa as well as the opportunity to tune in to Story Time with Mrs. Claus or with Santa and a rotation of children’s book authors.
Macy’s Santaland has gone virtual this year, though there will be no real Santas in their stores. There are pre-recorded video messages from Santa Claus, games to play with the elves, and the option to sign up for a real-time video chat with Santa himself.
Editor’s Note: Special thanks to Awkward Family Photos for sharing the very best of the very worst photos with Santa Claus.
Bottom Line: There’s more to being a good Santa than putting on a red suit! Consider how Santas and Santa schools might broaden your cast of characters and/or plots.
