You and I are perfect, of course—but the people we live with? They drive us nuts all around the house, in ways too numerous to count! And some rooms are more irritating than others. Some say such minor annoyances are the signs of imploding domestic happiness. Others claim habits like these are simply what happens when people become comfortable with each other, possibly even a sign of healthy relationships. Consider the ways irritability might be bad for you. And think about ways these little things can add tension to writing scenes.
Kitchen
~Putting the peanut butter on top of the jelly or the jelly on top of the peanut butter
Leaving scraps in the sink, even the side that has the garbage disposal
Leaving empty or near-empty cups, mugs, and glasses all around the house instead of taking them to the kitchen
Leaving cuttings/crumbs on the counter
Using twice as many utensils as necessary
Not turning off the stove burners/oven
Starting a dish cooking, leaving the room, and letting the food burn
Never adding salt and pepper while cooking (or adding far too much)
Leaving herbs, spices, and other seasonings on the counter
Not wiping up spills
Not checking the vegetable drawer for partials before cutting a new pepper, onion, or cuke
Leaving partially eaten food out (pizza, sandwich, fruit)
Bathrooms
~Washing dishes in what is clearly the dolls’ bathtub
Soaking the bathmat
Leaving dirty clothes on the floor
Sprinkling the counters with grooming products
Not flushing
Not replacing a spent toilet paper roll
Putting new TP roll on so new sheets come from the back, when everyone knows the new sheets should come over the top. (Or vice versa!)
Leaving hair in the washbasin
Using your washcloth or towel
Running out the hot water
Leaving the cap off toothpaste, mouthwash, shampoo, whatever
Bedroom
~Kicking while dreaming of chasing squirrels
Restless sleeping or kicking
Snoring
Using a C-Pap machine
Taking too much closet and dresser space
Leaving clothes around
Hogging the covers
Insisting on a night light—or total darkness
Needing a noise masking machine
Eating in bed
Reading in bed
Allowing pet on the bed
Living Room/Family Room
~Taking up the whole sofa, even if they’re actually the smallest member of the household
Toys/games sprinkled about
Putting feet on furniture
Cluttering end tables, coffee tables, ottomans…
Not using coasters
Spilling food and drink on upholstery, carpets, curtains, etc.
Dining Room
~Eating your fingers when you’re just trying to eat your mush
Chewing with mouth open
Wolfing food or eating absurdly slowly
Talking with mouth full
Not using a napkin
Reaching for things that should be passed
Making a mess around the plate/bowl
All Around the House
~Forgetting to pay the gravity bill, leaving everyone to float upside-down
Squeezing tubes from the middle (toothpaste, anchovy paste, etc.)
Playing TV/radio/etc. too loudly
Controlling the TV remote/program
Flipping channels on TV or radio
Not picking up after her/himself
Singing, humming, whistling out of tune
Dominating the conversation
Interrupting
Not saying please or thank you
Leaving doors open/unlocked
Leaving lights and fans on when leaving a room
Not setting the alarm
Not watering houseplants
Leaving bird feeders empty
Paying bills late
Leaving the newspaper a mess
Bottom line: These are just a very few examples of domestic minor annoyances. There are always more, especially when you’re looking for them. Is the irritating behavior really worth the irritation? Or could you make use of it?
My friend and colleague Kathleen Corcoran sent me an archaic word.
Spuddle(v)
To work feebly and ineffectively because your mind is elsewhere or you haven’t quite woken up yet.
To make a lot of fuss about trivial things, as if it were important.
To work tirelessly without achieving anything of worth. To put in a great deal of effort and achieve only very little.
To loosen and dig up stubble and weeds left after a harvest with a broadshare or similar device.
I took one look at it and said, “That’s got to be one of the best, most useful words ever!” Indeed, I’ve been spuddling for years.
So began my search for old, forgotten, seldom used, and archaic words and phrases that need to take (or retake) their rightful places in our written and the spoken vocabularies.
Autophoby (n) Fear of referring to oneself, usually exhibited by a reluctance to use the pronouns I or me.
Trug (n) A shallow basket made from strips of wood for carrying flowers or vegetables.
Ultra-crepidarian(n) A person who expresses opinions on things outside the scope of his/her knowledge or expertise. Can also be an adjective.
Whinge(v) To complain persistently and in a peevish or irritating way.
Bottom Line: Linguists say you can make any word, even an obscure or archaic word, your own by repeating it aloud five times and using it in a sentence every day for a week.
That I’m not the next King, Atwood, or Gabaldon became apparent years ago, but I’ve kept writing. That’s how I realized I write to feed my soul, not to put food on the table.
It then follows that I don’t write this blog to sell goods or services. That said, do feel free to buy any/all of my four books!
Over the years, I’ve shared all the advice I have at least once. Plus, there are whole books dedicated to instruction, tips, and prompts.
Research is sometimes the most fun part of writing!
More recently, I’ve focused on potentially useful—and generally interesting, at least to me—information. Thus, I’ve researched such diverse topics as the prices of human body parts on the black market and Shiva Lingam, a sacred stone of India.
I’m an educator by training and profession. For me, perhaps the most enjoyable aspect of blogging is researching new information, and then sharing it with others. In that sense, my target audience is the world.
My blogs avoid politics and religion. I have strong feelings on both, but blogging about them feels like proselytizing. Sharing views and opinions seems better left to dinner with family and friends—some of them, anyway!
But sometimes the line gets blurred. For example, the story of the Ohio ten-year-old who had to go to Indiana to get an abortion has filled the news recently. Doubts about this story initially abounded (now thoroughly debunked), but it turned out to be heart-breakingly true.
However, reports of child (even infant) sexual abuse are all too common. According to the WHO, “Approximately 12 million girls aged 15–19 years and at least 777,000 girls under 15 years give birth each year.” Research by the CDC has found, “In 2009, approximately 410,000 teens aged 15-19 years gave birth in the United States, and the teen birth rate remains higher than in other developed countries.” Can child pregnancy really be that rare?
F.Y.I., Lina Marcela Medina de Jurado, born 23 September 1933, is a Peruvian woman who became the youngest confirmed mother in history when she gave birth aged five years, seven months, and 21 days.
Perhaps it is apparent that I don’t put a premium on optimizing my blog. (See last week’s guest blog on how to do that by Kathleen Corcoran.) Sometimes long sentences and long words are appropriate, even necessary! And I doubt many 11-15 year-olds (theoretically the target audience for all online writing) read my blogs, so why dumb-down the vocabulary?
BOTTOM LINE: Who knows which of my weekly blogs might interest you? Check out some of my past entries just in case!
Blog optimization cares nothing for lightning or lightning bugs.
Among other services, WordPress offers SEO (Search Engine Optimization) analysis and optimization. These are, essentially, writing guidelines to draw readers to a webpage and then to make that webpage easier to read.
When every website bristles with ads (or is itself an ad), the primary goal of any author must be to drive traffic to a website, whatever that traffic may be. Disseminating information, discussing ideas, arguing viewpoints, and every other method of communication becomes monetized. Some might argue that this is why so much of online content today looks the same.
When a reader types a question or phrase into the search bar of Google, Bing, Duckduckgo, or any other search engine, the algorithms of that search engine sort possible results based on how likely they are to provide the answer.
Title
“Clickbait” is the phenomenon of ambiguously or misleadingly titling an article for the sole purpose of convincing readers to visit a webpage. Social media accounts have popped up just to point out the silliness of these titles, often with hilarious results.
Search Engine Optimization begins with the title of a webpage. Ideally, the title of a website should be six to ten words, with 10% uncommon words and at least one “power word.”
Emotionally triggering headlines drive more traffic to a website. The more strongly emotional a headline is, the more effectively it brings readers to a page.
Even within the headline, word percentages come into play. Analysts have sat down and worked out the figures for how many uncommon words, how many common words, how many positive and negative and neutral words are most likely to convince a web searcher to click on a link.
Titles By the Numbers
6-10 words
First 3 words are most important
10-15% emotional words
20-30% common words
10-15% uncommon words
At least one power word
Sentiment positive or negative, never neutral
Lists and how-to articles are the most effective
Keywords
My Favorite Key Words!
The other method search engines use to determine how well a webpage fits a query is to look for keywords. In order to reach the most viewers, writers are encouraged to create and use particular key words and phrases throughout the text.
This is similar to an essay’s thesis or an operatic motif. Of course, there are numbers for optimization of keywords.
Humans process information differently when reading on a screen than when reading on a page. Scrolling text creates different memory maps than turning pages. Serif fonts register more easily in print; sans serif fonts register more easily on a screen.
Beyond the physical, readability optimization focuses on how easily a reader can absorb the information presented on a website. Online, readers tend to skim information and look for particular words or phrases rather than reading thoroughly.
Very easy to read. Easily understood by an average 11-year-old student.
90.0–80.0
6th grade
Easy to read. Conversational English for consumers.
80.0–70.0
7th grade
Fairly easy to read.
70.0–60.0
8th & 9th grade
Plain English. Easily understood by 13- to 15-year-old students.
60.0–50.0
10th to 12th grade
Fairly difficult to read.
50.0–30.0
College
Difficult to read.
30.0–10.0
College graduate
Very difficult to read. Best understood by university graduates.
10.0–0.0
Professional
Extremely difficult to read. Best understood by university graduates.
They based the scores on a formula derived from the number of words in a sentence and the number of syllables in each word.
Once again, everything is reduced to numerical value. Breaking up blocks of text into smaller paragraphs or adding pictures makes it easier for a person reading a screen to glance through a text and pick out information. However, none of this information actually measures the quality of writing.
Text By the Numbers
Breaking text up with sub-headings, calculated per 300 words
Readability score, calculated by average number of words per sentence and syllables per word, recommended between 60-70
Once a reader has ventured beyond the title and the keywords, they must confront the actual writing on the page. Again, SEO has all the answers! Some of this is common writing advice, such as varying sentence structure and avoiding passive voice.
When everyone writes by the numbers, driven by selling, I have to wonder how much the actual writing quality and style suffer. News outlets and health information present information formulated to drive in visitors rather than to educate. Bloggers deliberately trigger emotional responses for the sake of increasing ad revenue. How much real skill and work goes into crafting articles, stories, arguments, or any other accumulation of words when everything can be decided by formula and reduced to the lowest common denominator (or at least to 13-15 year olds)?
Today’s blog entry was written by Kathleen Corcoran, a local harpist, writer, editor, ESL teacher, luthier, favorite auntie, turtle lover, canine servant, and rapidly developing curmudgeon.
Un-Optimized Optimus Prime
Just for the sake of playing with this page’s readability score, I present to you the beginning of “In Search of Lost Time” by Marcel Proust. This sentence has a Fleisch-Kincaide readability score of -515.1.
“But I had seen first one and then another of the rooms in which I had slept during my life, and in the end I would revisit them all in the long course of my waking dream: rooms in winter, where on going to bed I would at once bury my head in a nest, built up out of the most diverse materials, the corner of my pillow, the top of my blankets, a piece of a shawl, the edge of my bed, and a copy of an evening paper, all of which things I would contrive, with the infinite patience of birds building their nests, to cement into one whole; rooms where, in a keen frost, I would feel the satisfaction of being shut in from the outer world (like the sea-swallow which builds at the end of a dark tunnel and is kept warm by the surrounding earth), and where, the fire keeping in all night, I would sleep wrapped up, as it were, in a great cloak of snug and savoury air, shot with the glow of the logs which would break out again in flame: in a sort of alcove without walls, a cave of warmth dug out of the heart of the room itself, a zone of heat whose boundaries were constantly shifting and altering in temperature as gusts of air ran across them to strike freshly upon my face, from the corners of the room, or from parts near the window or far from the fireplace which had therefore remained cold—or rooms in summer, where I would delight to feel myself a part of the warm evening, where the moonlight striking upon the half-opened shutters would throw down to the foot of my bed its enchanted ladder; where I would fall asleep, as it might be in the open air, like a titmouse which the breeze keeps poised in the focus of a sunbeam—or sometimes the Louis XVI room, so cheerful that I could never feel really unhappy, even on my first night in it: that room where the slender columns which lightly supported its ceiling would part, ever so gracefully, to indicate where the bed was and to keep it separate; sometimes again that little room with the high ceiling, hollowed in the form of a pyramid out of two separate storeys, and partly walled with mahogany, in which from the first moment my mind was drugged by the unfamiliar scent of flowering grasses, convinced of the hostility of the violet curtains and of the insolent indifference of a clock that chattered on at the top of its voice as though I were not there; while a strange and pitiless mirror with square feet, which stood across one corner of the room, cleared for itself a site I had not looked to find tenanted in the quiet surroundings of my normal field of vision: that room in which my mind, forcing itself for hours on end to leave its moorings, to elongate itself upwards so as to take on the exact shape of the room, and to reach to the summit of that monstrous funnel, had passed so many anxious nights while my body lay stretched out in bed, my eyes staring upwards, my ears straining, my nostrils sniffing uneasily, and my heart beating; until custom had changed the colour of the curtains, made the clock keep quiet, brought an expression of pity to the cruel, slanting face of the glass, disguised or even completely dispelled the scent of flowering grasses, and distinctly reduced the apparent loftiness of the ceiling.”
Say “They are married” and your listener/reader makes a whole host of assumptions. But are they correct?
Arranged Marriages in Assam
Maison Vie New Orleans
An article at Maison Vie New Orleans cites Psychology Today for a list of 7 types of marriage possibilities. I’ve supplied definitions not given in the article.
Perhaps the most famous “Starter Marriage” participants
Starter Marriage: First marriage, five years or less, no children.
Companionship Marriage: Based on companionship, both partners have mutual consent and equality.
Parenting Marriage: Non-romantic, spouses come together to raise happy, healthy children.
This can also be the case of parents who would otherwise divorce but stay together for the sake of the children.
Safety Marriage: Marrying a “safety” partner, such as a long-time friend or old flame.
Living Alone Together Marriage:No standard definition found.
Each member of a marriage maintaining a separate household, sometimes far apart. (Jezebel)
Unmarried people living in communal (or roommate) arrangements, for financial and social benefits. (Psychology Today)
Married people who live together but maintain separate financial and social arrangements. (Center for Growth)
People who wish to divorce but cannot for social, religious, financial, etc. reasons. (Marriage.com)
Open Marriage: Spouses in a dyadic marriage agree that each may have extramarital sexual relationships, which are not considered infidelity.
Covenant Marriage: A legally distinct kind of marriage in three states (Arizona, Arkansas, and Louisiana) requiring pre-marital counseling and accepting more limited grounds for later seeking a divorce.
Psychology Today
On the other hand, an article on Marriage.com lists 25 types of marriages, including the following. In addition to those listed above, the author provides the following variations. This list includes both “legal” and emotional/motivational aspects.
“The Arranged Marriage” by Vasili Vladimirovitz Pukirev
Love Marriage: The ideal of romance movies and wedding magazines, though love is not necessary to marriage, as delineated throughout this blog.
Civil and Religious Marriage: when the marriage is recognized by the state, or the recognition is received from a religious body, such as the church, respectively.
Interfaith Marriage: When people from two different religions decide to get married, it is called an interfaith marriage.
Common-Law Marriage: when two people have declare they are married and live together but do not have a certificate of registry.
Cohabitation is not sufficient to be a common-law marriage but it is usually necessary.
The laws regarding common-law marriages vary not only from country to country but also between states in the US.
Monogamous Marriage: When the married couple “forsakes all others” and doesn’t get emotionally or sexually involved with anyone else outside the marriage.
Polyamorous Marriage: When the marriage involves more than two people
Polygyny, when a man has more than one wife
Polyandry, when a woman has more than one husband.
Group Marriage: one or more men are married to one or more women.
Differs from polygamous or polyandrous marriage primarily in that all members consider themselves in a relationship with all others rather than being “divided” along gender lines.
Morganatic Marriage: King Frederik VII of Denmark and Countess Danner
Left-Handed Marriage: (Not a term I was familiar with) when two people from unequal social rankings marry.
It’s also called a Morganatic Marriage, most often in reference to inheritance or succession.
Secret Marriage: When the marriage is hidden from society, friends, and family.
Shotgun Marriage: When a couple decides to get married because of an unplanned pregnancy or threat of pregnancy. Sometimes, they marry to save their reputations or embarrassment to their families.
Inter-Racial Marriage: Also called a mixed marriage, when people from different races marry.
Same-Sex Marriage: Legal in many parts of the world, though still not as universally socially acceptable as other types of marriage.
Arranged Marriage: When the family finds a suitable match for an eligible person, based on factors such as race, religion, caste, and other specific criteria they might have.
Convenience Marriage: When two people get married for reasons that bring convenience to their lives, such as financial security or childcare.
Um… Perhaps not this kind of zombie marriage…
Zombie Marriage: Both parties are docile and nice to each other in public but behind closed doors, they do not share any sort of a relationship.
Safety Marriage: When a marriage occurs because something tangible, mostly materialistic, is decided to be given in return. These terms are decided before marriage.
Open Marriage: When two people who are officially married agree that it’s okay to see others outside the marriage.
Partnership: Both spouses are equals, probably both work full-time and share household and child-rearing responsibilities equally.
Independents: Spouses live separate lives alongside each other; they may spend their free time apart; around the house, they tend to work separately in their areas of interest and on their own timetables.
(See “Living Alone Together”)
“Traditional” Marriage: One wife who does not work outside the home but takes care of the house and children; one husband who is the breadwinner and has few if any household duties; works only when/as long as both spouses like it that way.
Companionship: Both spouses want a life-long friend and their relationship is familiar and loving.
“The Marriage of Strongbow and Aoife” by Daniel Maclise
Non-Romantic Reasons for Marriage
And there are still other marriages not covered above.
Polyandri: Draupadi married the five Pandava brothers in the epic Mahabharta
Advancement: Enhancing social and/or financial standing; the classic/stereotypical case is a man marrying the boss’s daughter.
Age: It’s “time” to get married; varies by class and culture and time period.
Alcohol: In Reno or Vegas, it might literally be an inebriated service; more likely an inebriated engagement that turns out to be binding.
Duty or Obligation: Feeling duty-bound to marry to carry on the family name (more often males) or to provide some sort of support for children or others.
Escape: Leaving an unsafe, unpleasant, or otherwise intolerable living situation.
Family Pressure: Could be any want or need that the marriage is expected to fulfill.
Financial Security: Assuring the basics of food, shelter, health care, etc.
Lust: Less common than formerly, marriage as a way to get sex.
Politics: Reinforcing a political or financial arrangement by creating a familial tie through marriage.
Religious Orders: In the Catholic Church, nuns are referred to as “Brides of Christ.”
Social Pressure: “All my friends are married!”
Bottom line: Just something to think about. Marriage is many things to many people, not a single entity.
Today’s blog entry was written by Kathleen Corcoran, a local harpist, writer, editor, ESL teacher, luthier, favorite auntie, turtle lover, canine servant, and cinephile.
If you’re like me, reading a book is like watching a film inside your head. Casting is entirely up to your imagination, there’s no need for stunt doubles, and the special effects budget is unlimited. It even comes in Smell-O-Vision, which is not always fun.
To learn more about how a writer’s mental movie is translated into a box office hit, I spoke with Sean Williams, a film producer, director, actor, and writer. Williams recently graduated George Mason University, where he directed No Endings, winner of the 2022 Mason Film Festival award for Best Horror/Thriller Film.
Sight and Sound
Alfred Hitchcock said, “A lot of writers think they’re filling the page with words, but they’re filling the screen with images.”
Every writing teacher’s favorite bit of advice seems to be “Show, Don’t Tell.” That is even more true on film than in prose. A film writer must convey everything to the audience entirely through visual or audio input. The sense of dread, nauseating smells, motion sickness, feeling hungry, nostalgia, and every other part of the story must be either seen or heard.
Screenwriters have lots of techniques they can use to provide background information. Voice-over narration, overheard radio or television broadcasts, shots of newspaper headlines, letters, text messages all provide exposition.
Here are some great examples of exposition written into the screen play:
Diegetic Media: Text messages are displayed on screen in BBC’s Sherlock, letting the audience know what off-screen characters are doing.
The audience learns about flying broomsticks and magical racing by overhearing a group of children exclaiming about “the new Nimbus 2000; it’s the fastest broom ever!” in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.
The narrator’s voiceover in A Christmas Story explains why he hates his gift of fuzzy rabbit pajamas so much: “I knew that for at least two years, I would have to wear them every time Aunt Clara visited us. I just hoped that Flick would never spot them, as word of this humiliation could easily make life at Warren G Harding School a veritable hell.”
Characters in The Office and Deadpool frequently “break the fourth wall” by directly addressing the audience to explain their motivations or provide further information.
Sir Terry Pratchett included lots of footnotes in his novels, often providing extra jokes or humorous observations. In the screen adaptation of Wyrd Sisters, this footnote is shifted to a dialogue between two characters.
“What’s quaffing?” “It’s like drinking, but you spill more.”
Writers for the screen use a variety of techniques give the audience necessary information without background essays. Writers of short stories, novels, memoirs, etc. can make use of some of these techniques to “show, not tell” the story.
Simplification
When moving from page to screen (or stage). writers must keep in mind the attention span of the viewer. A reader who forgets the details of military supply trains in War and Peace can just flip back a few pages, but it’s a bit more difficult for a film or TV audience.
Simplified Plot
Even without Tom Bombadil, the film adaptation of Fellowship of the Rings was nearly three hours long.
There are lots of reasons to cut subplots from a film adaptation. The running time might not allow for it. Corporate or government sponsors might require controversial themes to be removed. It might just be a case of special effects or budget constraints.
Simplified Characters
Many film adaptations don’t include all the characters in the source material. They might clutter the screen, they might be too difficult to film, they might simply be another name and face that the audience would have to remember.
Screen writers might shift a cut character’s dialogue to another character, or they might remove it altogether.
Often, screen writers will combine similar characters for the sake of clarity. Michael Green’s adaptation of Death on the Nile has many such changes. Apart from the murderers, the murdered, and Hercules Poirot, nearly every character from the original Agatha Christie novel is combined with another character or removed altogether.
One could argue that the same principles apply when writing any sort of fiction. Short stories certainly have a finite number of characters and sub-plots they can include before they are no longer “short.” At what point does including or omitting details in a non-fiction work change it to a work of fiction? The question of whether to include or cut, develop or combine characters and themes is ultimately down to the writer.
Beyond Words
Film editors, CGI artists, composers, costume designers, set designers, directors, actors, and hosts of others contribute to the final creation of a film that an audience sees. The screenplay is only one component of the finished product.
Editing
Consider the moment in The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy first arrives in Munchkinland. There is no dialogue. The editor created a transition shot showing the change from the sepia-toned farmhouse to the full-color world of Oz.
Costumes
Amy Westcott, costume designer for the 2010 film Black Swan, dressed the main character all in white and pink during choreography and classroom scenes. This illustrates the character’s naivety as well as drawing the audience’s immediate focus. Character development is reflected in the gradual darkening of the costume, demonstrating internal conflict without a single word being spoken.
Music
The score composer(s) are responsible for a huge part of an audience’s emotional involvement in a film. The ominous Jaws theme by John Williams (no relation), the Moonlight score that “splits the difference between classical and codeine” by Nicholas Britell, the iconic music establishing time periods in Forrest Gump all tell a huge part of the story beyond the visual.
The ExorcistPsychoDr WhoJames BondFans can probably hear the associated music just from seeing these iconic images.
Other unspoken storytelling devices Sean Williams suggests
The opening scenes of Up illustrate the main character’s relationship, career, heartbreak, and slide into depression entirely without dialogue.
The camera panning along a series of family photographs with fewer and fewer people, showing a character’s increasing isolation
Focus on a clock face, burned down candle stubs, or an overflowing ashtray to demonstrate the passage of time
Camera angles above or below eye level to demonstrate the relative importance, ego, or intimidation of a character
Distorting and muffling background sounds to reflect a character’s disorientation
Changing color palettes to take advantage of humans’ hard-wired responses to red (danger), blue (calm), etc.
Adjusting camera focus to draw audience attention to foreground, background, or in between
Ultimately, this must come from the directors, editors, actors, composers, lighting specialists, sound editors, etc., etc., etc…. The screenplay is really just the beginning.
Prose writers may not be able to include fantastic music or ambient colors, but there are other tools available. Point of view shifts, chapter divisions, physical descriptions, and sensory details (beyond sight and sound) can all be used to direct a reader’s attention.
Sean Williams gave me a lot more information about writing for the screen, but I’m afraid I’d need about four years to learn what he covered over the course of his degree. For more details, check out George Mason University or The Los Angeles Film School.
Group data reveal that, in general, women’s and men’s friendships are measurably different on all sorts of dimensions. “Like what?” you might ask. Read on.
Notable Differences in Male-Male Friendships and Female-Female Friendships
Male-male friendships are side-to-side, fostered and maintained through shared activity
Female-female friendships are face-to-face, fostered and maintained through intimacy, communication, and support
Male-male friendships are less intimate than female-female friendships
Male-male friendships are less fragile than female-female friendships
E.g., men will consider someone a friend even if they do not maintain or stay in constant contact
Emotional attachment: females have and desire a strong emotional attachment with persons they perceive to be a friend
Men are more likely to remain friends after an argument or a fight whereas women are not
Women require more frequent contact with someone they consider to be a friend
Men are more likely to use humor to taunt a friend while viewing this as innocent fun
Women are more likely to refrain from taunting and humor out of fear it may hurt their friends’ feelings
Men tend to hang out more in a group, the more the merrier, while women typically prefer to go out with one good friend
For a slightly different but compatible take, consider the findings from “Sex differences in friendship preferences,” by Keelah E.G. Williams, Jaimie Arona Krems, Jessica D. Ayers, and Ashley M. Rankin.
“Across three studies (N = 745) with U.S. participants—assessing ideal hypothetical friends, actual friends, and using a paradigm adapted from behavioral economics—we find that men, compared to women, more highly value same-sex friends who are physically formidable, possess high status, possess wealth, and afford access to potential mates. In contrast, women, compared to men, more highly value friends who provide emotional support, intimacy, and useful social information. Findings suggest that the specific friendship qualities men and women preferred differed by sex in ways consistent with a functional account of friendship.”
Humor was an important characteristic for women’s best-friendships, but not for men’s
Neither attractiveness nor athleticism played much of a role in the best-friend choices of either men or women
A husband will often say his best friend is his wife; wives usually name another woman
Platonic friendships between women and men come with a lot of baggage: suspicion of sexual involvement, jealousy, skepticism, etc.
Women say they both like and love their husbands/heterosexual partners; men are more likely to report loving but not liking
N.B.: liking and loving are different dimensions, not simply different intensities. There’s a whole body of psychological research on liking and loving, if you want to pursue that topic.
BOTTOM LINE: In general, men’s and women’s friendships are significantly different. Whether men’s or women’s friendships are “better” depends on what you (or your character) wants friendship to provide. And, remember, these assertions are based on group data, meaning only group outcomes can be predicted confidently, because individuals differ from the norm.
I’m fascinated by birds both as fauna outside my window and as elements of tattoos. They are just interesting! And because birds are ubiquitous, and noticeable, it’s no wonder people attach meaning to birds, in general and specifically.
Composite photo of great horned owl flight phases Art Siegel
Birds are widely regarded as symbols of freedom and eternity due to their ability to soar into the skies. Bird symbolism exists all over the world as part of different cultures, religions, and traditions. Birds symbolize aspects of our lives, nature, and the unknown world. According to The Penguin Dictionary of Symbols, the flight of birds leads them naturally to be seen as links—intermediaries—between heaven and earth.
Gouro (Nuna) Hornbill Mask from Burkina Faso photo by Roman Bonnefoy
In a generalized sense, birds symbolize spiritual states, angels and higher forms of being.
Sometimes the lightness of birds—their volatility, flitting hither and thither without aim or purpose—cause them to be seen as distractions and diversions.
The earliest Vedic texts show that birds, in general, were considered symbols of the friendship of the gods for mankind.
In the Celtic world, birds were considered to be assistants or the messengers of the gods or of the underworld.
Nocturnal birds are often thought to be the souls of the dead, come to wail in the dark around their old homes.
Ancient Egyptian tomb art depicted the soul of the dead as a bird with the head of either a man or a woman.
Blue and green birds served as messengers of the gods in several east Asian folk tales.
Early fifth-century BC statue of Aphrodite from Cyprus, showing her wearing a cylinder crown and holding a dove
In the Koran, the word “bird” is often synonymous with “fate.”
In Muslim tradition “green bird” is an epithet applied to a number of saints.
Islamic poets often use birds as symbols of the immortality of the soul.
It is commonly believed—and science has confirmed—birds have a language, complete with vocabulary and syntax.
In sub-Saharan African art, birds are frequent symbols, especially on masks. Birds symbolize strength and life, and often fertility.
The Yakut believe that after death, the souls of both good and evil fly to heaven in the shape of birds.
Blue birds symbolize hope in Russian folk tales.
“The earliest evidence of the belief in the soul-bird is undoubtedly provided by the myth of the phoenix.” (The Penguin Dictionary of Symbols)
In Greek mythology, the sparrow was one of the birds associated with Aphrodite, the goddess of love. Interestingly, scientists consider sparrows to be one of the most lustful birds.
In Kent, England, a person who caught a sparrow had to kill it to prevent their parents’ death.
In native European folklore, if a sparrow flies into someone’s house it is a sign of impending death.
Victorian Christmas cards often depicted dead sparrows, possibly for luck, possibly as a call for empathy. See Hyperallergic
In Indonesian folklore, a sparrow flying into someone’s home symbolized good luck. If the bird built a nest in the home, it meant that a wedding would happen in the home soon.
Ancient Egyptians considered sparrows to be soul catchers, carrying the souls of the dead to heaven.
It was a common practice for sailors to tattoo themselves with sparrow images to ensure their safe passage to heaven in case they died at sea.
Eagles are among the most commonly used animals in ancient and modern symbolism. The eagle generally represents strength, freedom, and wisdom.
Many Native American communities considered eagles (especially the bald eagle) to be sacred animals relating to wisdom, bravery, and a connection to the spiritual realm. Eagles’ feathers were widely used in certain religious rituals. Today, there are numerous sculptures, statues, and carvings of eagles throughout the Americas.
In native Celtic culture, where trees were considered sacred, any animal that lived in or on trees was equally considered sacred. Thus, eagles were closely associated with three gods.
In Mayan culture, the eagle is one of the Zodiac signs. It represents human beings who value freedom and can never be tied to a single place or person.
In ancient Egypt, the eagle was a symbol of wisdom because it flew higher than people and was, therefore, able to see the world from a far wider perspective than humans did.
Blue Jays
The blue jay is native to North America. It is renowned for its tenacity and determination. It is especially relentless when dealing with its enemies.
Blue jays are known for their patience and intelligence. It has been claimed that the bird often uses strips of materials like newspaper strips as tools to get food.
The blue jay is seen to be in pairs. When they fly, the pairs keep a great distance from each other, decreasing the probability of being targeted by the enemy.
Spiritually, the bird is thought to give knowledge and memories of long-forgotten things and provides intelligence on how to use them to seize opportunities. The blue jay symbolizes the ability to use any situation to one’s benefit. This comes from the bird’s ability to build nests in any tree or environment that suits it.
A blue jay is very aggressive and makes different varieties of loud sounds that travel over a long distances. In some cultures, having a blue jay as your totem implies that you are aggressive and, therefore, there is nothing that can stop you from defending what you consider right.
In certain cultures, those who have the blue jay as their spirit totem are said to be excellent in communication-related jobs such as law, public speaking, and politics.
Variations of the Bluebird of Happiness appear in Chinese, Russian, and European folklore, but they generally do not refer to the North America blue jay.
Robins are a common sight in North America, often seen pulling earthworms off the ground. The robin is known for its end-of-winter appearance, cheery songs, and orange-colored breast. While the birds are a common sight in cities and towns, they are also at home in forests and mountains.
Robins are famous as the quintessential early birds.
Ancient Europeans considered the robin to be a symbol of divine sacrifice and rebirth. The robin brought happiness, change, wisdom, and happy songs.
Several ancient Christian paintings depict the robin as Christ’s helper. It is said that the robin tried to pull off the thorns from Jesus’ Crown of Thorns.
Robin, of Batman fame, wears a costume inspired by the bird.
The robin is a symbol of nurturing young ones into adulthood. Robins are widely considered to be some of the best parents among all bird species. Seeing a robin is therefore associated with new growth in some cultures.
In Hinduism, the red color on a robin’s chest is said to symbolize a person’s kundalini (a serpent-like force at the base of a human’s spine). When one experiences inner spiritual growth, the kundalini uncoils and moves upwards as the person’s enlightenment and awareness increase.
Cardinal
The northern cardinal, usually just called the cardinal, is a fairly large, long-tailed songbird with a short, very thick bill and a prominent crest. People usually think first of the adult male, bright red with black markings. The female is taupe and less-intensely colored.
In Ancient Rome, the cardinal was regarded as a spiritual messenger sent by those who died and went to heaven. The word cardinal comes from the Latin word cardo meaning “hinge.” The birds are therefore seen as hinges on the doorway between heaven and earth.
Among Native Americans, the cardinal has strong ties to other realms and, as such, acts as a messenger from the ancestors. Several southeastern tribes associated cardinals with the sun as well as with good fortune.
In China and Japan, the cardinal is closely associated with the mythical phoenix (the bird of transformation, fire, and rebirth). The cardinal was associated with honorable rulers coming to power as well as the end of wars.
In China, the cardinal (Red Bird) is said to stand over the southern quarter of creation and defend it from evil influences.
Magpies One for sorrow, Two for mirth Three for a funeral, Four for birth Five for heaven Six for hell Seven for the devil, his own self -Traditional English Nursery Rhyme
Other Birds
I found the anqu (or anqa) intriguing, not only because it would be an awesome Scrabble word, but also because I never heard of it.
Research led by the American Museum of Natural History suggests that there are about 18,000 bird species in the world. I’d venture to say that there is symbolism associated with most if not all of them!
The supernatural Thunderbird flaps its wings to create thunder and flashes its eyes to create lightning. Ojibwe thunderbirds punish humans for lack of morals. Menominee thunderbirds protect the earth from being overrun by great horned snakes and act as messengers for the sun. The seal of the Menominee Nation features a thunderbird. A Ho-Chunk who sees a thunderbird while fasting will become a great leader.
A three-legged crow, according to several East Asian folk traditions, lives in the sun or is the messenger of a deity living in the sun. The Chinese sanzuwu was one of twelve ornaments used to decorate Imperial clothing in ancient China. A golden or red jinwu represents the Sun in ancient Han temple art. The Japanese yatagarasu acts as a messenger of divine will and represents rebirth. The Japan Football Association features the yatagarasu on its badge. The Korean samjok-o is alternately a symbol, messenger, and resident of the Sun, more powerful than dragons.
Bottom line: whatever bird suits you, your character, your life, or your plot, check it out!
Michelangelo hated painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel so much that he wrote this lovely poem about it to his friend Giovanni da Pistoia: I’ve already grown a goiter from this torture, hunched up here like a cat in Lombardy (or anywhere else where the stagnant water’s poison).
I enjoy odd, surprising, or little known bits of information. I hope you do, too, because I have accumulated so much of this stuff, it’s time for a dump!
The (Non-Human) Animal World
A Great Dane named Juliana peed on an incendiary bomb during World War II, earning her a Blue Cross Medal!
Zoolingualism is the ability to talk with animals and understand their reactions.
One species of jellyfish, Turritopsis dohrnii, is “immortal.” When damaged or traumatized, they can revert to their polyp developmental stage and start over.
Snails can sleep up to three years if the weather isn’t moist enough to meet their needs.
Hummingbirds beat their wings up to 70 times per second, faster than any other bird. Fast, yeah, but honeybees flap their wings 230 times every second!
Giraffes only have seven bones in their necks, the same number as humans.
Whales’ earwax forms in layers, so researchers can estimate a whale’s age and development by counting rings in a cross-section, just like rings on a tree.
Domestic dogs have evolved muscles around their eyes that mimic human facial expressions. Wolves do not have these muscles.
Frigatebirds fly for months over the ocean, using half their brains at a time so the other half can sleep during flight. They can also engage in regular sleep.
Faster than humans: a running grizzly bear, 35 mph; a cheetah, up to 75 mph; and a diving golden eagle, up to 200 mph.
Over long distances, humans still win! Huskies most closely rival humans in endurance.
Approximately three percent of arctic ice is frozen penguin urine.
Mystery writers take note: koala fingerprints are almost indistinguishable from humans’ — so much so, they can taint a crime scene.
Gorillas have nose prints as unique as human (or koala) fingerprints. Conservation workers photograph and catalogue the patterns of wrinkles to track individual gorillas.
Elephants, flamingoes, giraffes, horses, and cows can all sleep standing up, but they can only dream when lying down. Some subway commuters have mastered the former, but I have no info on the latter.
Humans, Both Normal and Not So Much
Abraham Lincoln was also a licensed bartender. (from Lincoln in Caricature by Rufus Rockwell Wilson, 1903)
People who suffer from boanthropy believe they are a cow and will try to live their life as a cow.
King Nebuchadnezzer (creator of the Hanging Gardens of Babylon) may have developed boanthropy.
Before he became president, Abraham Lincoln was an elite wrestling champion. In 300 matches, he only lost one.
After serving as president, George Washington opened a whiskey distillery.
A duel among three people is called a truel or a triel.
Eating enough potatoes and butter, and nothing else, could keep a person alive for an indeterminate length of time—alive but not healthy.
One-quarter of all the bones in your body are located in your feet.
Hugs that last over 40 seconds release oxytocin and make you trust someone more.
Queen Elizabeth always wears second-hand shoes. She employs a professional shoe-wearer to break in her shoes for her, preventing blisters on the royal feet.
Some of the most famous cowboys in history didn’t wear cowboy hats in real life. Icons like Wyatt Earp and Billy the Kid wore what we would today call bowler hats.
The average person will spend six months of their life waiting for red lights to turn green.
LeMarcus Thompson, a hosiery salesman, invented roller coasters to combat moral degeneracy.
Before people said “cheese” to look like they were smiling for cameras, photographers often told subjects to say “prunes” to mimic the desired facial expression—stoic, with a small and refined mouth.
Dr. Frederic Whitehurst, a former FBI analyst, demonstrated that more than 90% of all forensic FBI samples are flawed or inaccurate.
Humans blink, on average, 12 times per minute. Speed and rapidity of blinking can indicate lots of interesting mental or physical conditions, useful for writers!
Alfred Hitchcock was an ovophobe, meaning he had a fear of eggs.
In a 1963 interview, he said, “I’m frightened of eggs, worse than frightened; they revolt me. … Blood is jolly, red. But egg yolk is yellow, revolting. I’ve never tasted it.”
Cleopatra wasn’t actually Egyptian. Really! Historians have traced the famous ruler’s lineage to Alexander the Great’s Macedonian general Ptolemy. So while she was an Egyptian queen, she was Greek.
John Duns Scotus, a thirteenth century philosopher, believed that wearing a pointed hat spread knowledge to the brain and improved intelligence. “Dunsmen” who agreed with his ideas wore “dunce caps” as a sign of intelligence, but social derision eventually led to the dunce cap meaning the opposite.
If you start in Argentina, you could theoretically “dig a hole to China.” Reddit user Lokimonoxide demonstrated this idea by making a “sandwich” with bread in Uruguay and South Korea.
The Olympic Games used to hand out medals for arts and humanities. At the time, 151 medals were awarded for architecture, literature, painting, music, and sculpture.
What the fork? This pronged utensil was once considered sacrilegious because they were seen as “artificial hands.”
The stage before frostbite is known as “frostnip.”
LEGO has made more minifigs than the entire population of China, more than 4 billion.
Eating bananas can help relieve negative emotions such as irritability, anger, and/or depression.
Italian police stopped a shipment of Columbian coffee beans because the recipient shared a name with a famous Mafia boss in the film John Wick. In a “stranger than fiction” real life twist, police found that someone had hollowed out each coffee bean and filled it with cocaine.
Big Ben (which is actually the bell inside the Elizabeth Tower) sounds unique because it cracked shortly after being installed in 1859.
Spider webs were used as bandages in ancient times.
Chemists at the University of Nottingham have synthesized antibiotic spider silk for this very purpose!
BOTTOM LINE: Sometimes random bits of information are useful, sometimes just passing entertainment.
The internet abounds with interesting “facts” that aren’t actually true. For example, that giraffes have no vocal chords or that the average person swallows eight spiders in their sleep every year. One of my favorite websites is Snopes.com, where I can double check the truth of other websites and learn plenty more fascinating facts that are all sourced and cited.
“Axes, chisels, whetstones and a black stone bracelet from a Neolithic Macedonian settlement at Olynthus, excavated by Mylonas in 1928. Archeological Museum, Thessaloniki, Greece” Michael Greenhalgh
I can’t help it. The evening news is full of local drive-by shootings and the massacre happening in Ukraine. I’ve been thinking about killing (not planning it, just considering the varieties of ways and means).
I’ve mentally pursued two paths: the category of killing and the method of killing.
Categories of Killing
Execution: the carrying out of a sentence of death on a condemned person within the confines of a legal system. Over time, many methods have been embraced. For more information, look here, here, or here.
Firing squad
Hanging
Electrocution
Lethal injection
Drawing and quartering
Drowning
Burning at the stake
Beheading (whether by axe or guillotine)
Exposure (on the ice, in the desert sun, adrift at sea)
Disembowelment
Crucifixion
Gibbeting
Keelhauling
Suffocation
Murder: the unlawful premeditated killing of one human being by another. The methods are infinitely variable.
Felony murder (in some jurisdictions):
Killing someone during the commission of a dangerous or enumerated crime.
The killer and also all accomplices or co-conspirators may be found guilty.
It doesn’t matter whether the killing was intentional or accidental.
Homicide: the deliberate and unlawful killing of one person by another. The point here is lack of premeditation or planning. Killing in the heat of the moment by whatever means would count.
Justifiable homicide: the killing of a person in circumstances which allow the act to be regarded in law as without criminal guilt.
Examples include self-defense, capital punishment, and police shooting.
(Note: police shootings are not automatically judged justifiable.)
Manslaughter: the crime of killing a human being without malice aforethought, or otherwise in circumstances not amounting to murder.
Involuntary manslaughter: the person who commits the crime had no intention of causing or even expecting the possibility of death.
NOTE NOTE NOTE NOTE NOTE NOTE NOTE
Different jurisdictions define these categories of killing differently, and some times interchangeably. If you want to be precise, know your local laws.
Euthanasia (a.k.a. mercy killing): the painless killing of a patient suffering from an incurable and painful disease or an irreversible coma. Note: the practice is illegal in most countries.
Ritual sacrifice: offering something to a deity in propitiation or homage, especially the ritual slaughter of an animal or person.
Suicide: death caused by injuring oneself with the intent to die.
Assassination:
In law: any murder committed by an assassin, understood to be committed for money, without any provocation resentment given by the person against whom the crime is directed.
In dictionary.com: to kill suddenly or secretively, especially a prominent person; premeditated.
Wartime Killing
War: a state of arms conflict between different nations, states, or different groups within a nation or state.
Soldiers killing soldiers during a war between nations or states are generally considered justified and legal; incidental killing of civilians are generally considered collateral damage, regrettable but not subject to punishment.
Not all wartime killing is internationally acceptable.
The Hague Conventions (1899 and 1907) and Geneva Conventions (1864, 1949 [pt 1, 2, 3, and 4], and 1977 [protocol 1 and 2] and 2005) focus on the protection of people not or no longer taking part in hostilities. There is no single document in international law that codifies all war crimes. However, lists of war crime can be found in both international humanitarian law and international criminal law treaties, as well as international customary law.
Unnecessary destruction of civilian property, often with the aim of causing starvation or death by exposure
Deception by perfidy
Wartime sexual violence
Pillaging
Use of chemical or biological weapons
Conscription of children into the military
Granting no quarter despite surrender
Flouting the legal distinctions of proportionality and military necessity
Crimes against humanity:
Specific cries committed in the context of a large-scale attack targeting civilians, regardless of their nationality.
E.g., murder, torture, sexual violence, enslavement, persecution, enforced disappearance, etc.
Chemical, biological, and radioactive weapons are often considered specifically crimes against humanity in addition to being war crimes.
Genocide/ethnic cleansing:
The deliberate killing of a large number of people from a particular nation or ethnic group with the aim of destroying that nation or group.
Forced sterilization and sexual violence may be included here the aim is to disrupt or preemptively remove future generations.
War between groups within a nation or state = gang war: a “small” war between two (or more) groups feuding over territory or vendetta, not generally related to international legal standing.
Characterized by sanctioned and unsanctioned killing
Gun violence
Street violence
Joining a gang may be involuntary
Leaving a gang—and surviving—may be next to impossible
All gang activity is illegal in the US, although being a gang member per se isn’t
Methods of Killing
There are far too many to list, but here are a few methods to think about.
No weapon (strangulation, broken neck or back, beaten to death with fists, thrown off a cliff, etc.)
Weapon of convenience (for example, branch, bookend, poker, scissors, axe—anything found at the scene)
Physical weapon brought to the scene (for example, cutting implement, gun, garrote, automobile, whatever)
Animal weapon (for example, dog, venomous snakes or insects, predatory animals such as bears, big cats, trampling by elephants or horses)
“Soft” weapon such as poison, gas, or medication overdose
Bottom Line: Killing is everywhere and always has been. Think about it! When—if ever—and under what—if any—circumstances would a character think/feel that killing could be acceptable.
