For purposes of this blog, I’ve used one of the many dictionary definitions of a lie: an assertion of something known or believed by the speaker or writer to be untrue, intended to deceive. In spite of the generally held belief that lying is a bad thing, and all the admonishments of “thou shalt not lie,” people do—surprisingly often! How often? On average, a person lies 11 time per week.
Lying Statistics
Check out these statistics from Cross River Therapy, Bright Futures, and other sources across the web.
At four years of age, 90% of kids understand the meaning of lying. Typically, a child tells his or her first lie between ages 2 and 3.
- Parents are the primary victims of lying, with 86% of lies being told to them.
- Second to parents are friends, lied to 75% of the time.
- Siblings are the third most lied to, accounting for 73% of victims.
- The fourth most lied to are our spouses, lied to 69% of the time.
- 12% of people 18 and older lie sometimes or quite often.
- Online, people lie most often on dating sites, where 90% of participants engage in untruthfulness.
- On CVs and resumes, 31% of people admit to lying.
- On average, people tell six lies every day, whether to supervisors, partners, spouses, or workmates.
- 80% of women tell half-truths on occasion.
- Lying on a phone call during voice chat is 70% more likely than a face-to-face chat.
- 10% of all lies can be defined as exaggerations, though 60% of all those lies are considered to be deceptive.
- Of all liars, 70% of them say they are willing to do it again.
Don’t Lie at the Doctor’s Office!
Lying to a medical provider can cause serious problems with your health!
- Doctors hear many lies; 13% of patients admit to lying when talking to their physicians. This could be regarding the number of times one has smoked tobacco, taken medication, or engaged in intimacy without protection.
- Medical providers consider stretching the truth to be a form of lying, an occurrence committed by 32% of all patients at hospitals and healthcare centers.
- 30% of patients have lied about their exercise routine and food-eating habits.
Lying Research
In a study of 11,366 lies told by 632 people over 91 days, 75% of them lied between 0 or 2 times per day. 6% of the participants had low lying levels, though they lied more often on some days at random. In total, most of the lies were trivial, such as lying about how well one’s day was going.
Interestingly, one study found a link between truthfulness and health. Participants who refrained from telling any lies for ten weeks experienced improvements in their physical and mental health. Those in the control group experienced no such improvements.
During most communication, only 10% of the lies people tell are major lies. 90% of the time, the lies are trivial.
When the Lies Come Out
Everyone lies at times. When meeting someone for the first time, a person will lie to them twice or 3 times within a ten-minute time frame.
- 60% of people lie at least once in a 10-minute conversation.
- Men lie 6 times a day on average, while women lie 3 times a day on average.
- 80% of women admit to lying to their partner about their spending habits.
- 50% of teenagers admit to lying to their parents about their whereabouts.
- 81% of people lie about their height, weight, or age online.
6. Politicians lie on average once every five minutes during a debate.
One study found that people are more likely to lie in the afternoon than in the morning, suggesting that willpower and self-control may play a role in our honesty levels throughout the day.
In another study, researchers studied lies over a brief period. The variety of people’s lies tended to fluctuate. People who lie more often show greater variation than those who lie less often. The top 1% of all liars (who lied 17 times each day) had the most variance. The participants with little variance were the 1%, with nearly no instances of lying.
Why Do People Lie?
Lying allows a person to establish perceived control over a situation by manipulating it. It’s a defense mechanism that (seemingly) prevents them from being vulnerable, that is, to not open up and reveal their true self to another person.
Everyone knows that not all lies are the same. For example, the statistic above that only 10% of lies were serious. But how else can they be classified?
- 21% of people lie to avoid being around other people
- 20% of people lie to be humorous, such as when telling a joke or making a prank
- Self-protection is the reason for 14% of people who lie
- 13% of liars do so to make a good impression on others, or to appear more favorable to them
- 11% of liars do it to protect someone else
- Personal gain or benefits are the reason that 9% of people tell lies
- 2% of liars do it with the sole intent to hurt someone else
- 5% of liars are unspecified, doing it for no stated reason
Fear of punishment is the most common reason for lying, with 27% of people admitting to it.
- 23% of people lie to protect themselves or others from harm
- 20% of people lie to avoid embarrassment or shame
- 14% of people lie to gain power or advantage over others
- 9% of people lie out of habit or compulsion
Who Do People Lie To?
- 56% of people admit to lying to their boss or supervisor.
- 42% of people have lied to their significant other about something significant.
- 39% of people have lied to their friends at least once.
- 28% of people have lied to a healthcare provider.
- 23% of people have lied to their children.
- 18% of people have lied on a job application.
White Lies
These are the most common type of lie, with 72% of people admitting to telling them. People often tell harmless white lies to be polite or to avoid hurting someone’s feelings.
- Lies about personal accomplishments:
- 64% of people admit to lying in this way. These can include exaggerating one’s own achievements or skills, or taking credit for something they didn’t do.
- Lies about emotions:
- 63% of people admit to telling these kinds of lies. These can include pretending to be happy when you’re really upset, or saying something doesn’t bother you when it really does.
- Lies about whereabouts:
- 60% of people admit to lying about where they are at any given time. This could be because they don’t want others to know where they are, or because they want to appear more interesting than they actually are.
Target of Our Lies
According to a survey conducted by Statista in 2020, many people report that they have been lied to by someone they know:
- Friends: 80%
- Romantic partners: 70%
- Family members: 69%
- Coworkers: 64%
- Acquaintances: 40%
Interestingly, the survey also found that people were more likely to be lied to by someone they knew than by a stranger. (Or maybe those are just the lies they know about!)
The Most Common Lies People Tell
“I’m fine.” This is perhaps the most common lie people tell, with 60% of people admitting to telling this lie. Often used as a response to the question “How are you?” when they’re really not feeling okay.
“I’ll be there in five minutes.” This lie is told by 40% of people, and it’s often used when running late or stuck in traffic.
“I’m on my way.” 35% of people admit to using this lie when they’re not even close to leaving their current location.
“I didn’t see your message/call.” This is a common excuse for not responding to messages or calls, and 30% of people admit to using it.
“I have read and agree to the terms and conditions.” This lie is often used when signing up for online services, with 25% of people admitting to not actually reading the terms and conditions before agreeing to them. (I’m surprised this number isn’t higher; experts estimate we’d have to spend an average of 250 hours every year if we actually read all the terms and conditions we agree to!)
The Consequences of Lies: Damaged Trust, Legal Consequences, and More
Lying can damage trust and relationships. In a study conducted by the University of California, Santa Barbara, participants who were told that their partner had lied to them in a game were less likely to cooperate with their partner in future interactions.
Lying can have negative effects on mental health. Research has found that individuals who frequently lie experience more anxiety, depression, and stress than those who are more honest.
Lying can lead to legal consequences. In a survey conducted by the American Management Association, 21% of respondents reported that they had been involved in a lawsuit where lying was a contributing factor.
Lying can damage one’s reputation and credibility. A CareerBuilder study found that 58% of employers have caught an employee lying on their resume, which could lead to termination or difficulty finding future employment opportunities.
Lying can become a habit, and frequent liars may find themselves telling lies even when there is no real benefit to doing so. This can lead to feelings of guilt and anxiety, as well as damage to personal relationships. Additionally, some people may have a pathological tendency to lie, which can be indicative of deeper psychological issues.
Psychology of Lies
To truly understand the psychology of lying, it is important to examine the underlying emotional and psychological factors that contribute to the behavior. By doing so, we can gain a greater understanding of how lying impacts our lives and the lives of those around us.
While lying is a common human behavior, some people lie more frequently than others. Here are some reasons why this might be the case:
- Certain personality traits, such as narcissism or low self-esteem, may lead individuals to lie more frequently.
- Growing up in an environment where lying is normalized or even encouraged can make it more likely for individuals to adopt the same behavior.
- People who have experienced trauma or abuse may use lying as a coping mechanism to protect themselves or avoid further harm.
Although lying can serve a purpose in the short term, it can also have negative consequences on one’s personal and professional life. Frequent lying can damage trust and relationships with others, lead to legal issues, and cause mental health problems like anxiety and guilt.
How to Catch Lies
People tend to give verbal or physical “tells” when they aren’t being truthful.
- Being vague and offering few details
- Repeating questions before answering them
- Repeating the same story over and over
- Speaking in sentence fragments
- Explaining things in strict chronological order
- Sounding like they are repeating a rehearsed script
- Failing to provide specific details when a story is challenged
- Failing to give a straightforward response to a simple yes or no question
- Grooming behaviors such as playing with hair or pressing fingers to lips
- Physical changes that indicate a fight-or-flight response, like increased sweating, muscle tension, restlessness, and fidgeting
The consequences of lying are not as simple as they might seem. People often think that lies breed contempt and guilt, but they do much more.
The Upside of Lying?
They foster relationships, build trust, destroy social networks, create social networks, make people more creative, and influence how often other people lie.
Lie is a harsh word. Often people soften the act for their own self-concept or to minimize negative fallout.
For example, here are a few of the many synonyms for telling lies:
| Fool | Trick |
| Tease | Kid |
| Mislead | Spoof |
| Bluff | Con |
| Misinform | Take someone in |
| String someone along | Blur the truth |
| Pull someone’s leg | Fake someone out |
Bottom Line: Virtually everyone lies. Some motives are more benign than others. Some consequences are more serious than others. Not all lies can be painted with the same brush!