UPS and FedEx are much involved in delivering COVID vaccines, and their reported delays are at least partly due to that. On the other hand, USPS delays are attributed to sheer volume. How bad is it? Reportedly, more than 93% of USPS package arrived on time. If so, why am I so special?
Here’s a look at the sorts of delays that happened this year—and are ongoing—within my own circle.
- I ordered a gift for a friend on 12/02/20. It has not yet been delivered.
- On 12/16/20, I mailed 4 packages, to OH, MA, CO, and CT.
- 12/19/20 The package arrived in Arvada, CO.
- 12/24/20 Packages arrived in East Longmeadow, MA, and Winstead, CT.
- 12/28/20 The package arrived in Lancaster, OH.
- 12/11/20 A package was mailed to me from Lancaster, OH, and as of this writing, it still hasn’t arrived.
- Merchandise ordered:
- 12/17/20 Est. delivery 12/22/20, in transit, currently in MD
- 12/18/20 Est. delivery 12/23/20, in transit
- 12/20/20 Est. delivery 12/26/20, still in transit
- 12/21/20 Out for delivery in Henrico
- 12/28/20 Again out for delivery in Henrico—but not delivered.
- Hiram, OH, is a town so small that there is no home delivery of mail. A former colleague there reported mailing packages to CA and two other distant states, all of which arrived on time.
- On the other hand, a local friend of his (in Hiram, OH) mailed a Christmas card to him at the same post office, which showed up in his mailbox six days later.
- A family member in East Longmeadow, MA, shipped two packages at the local USPS on 12/19/20, one to PA and one to VT.
- Both packages left the local USPS at 2:30 that afternoon.
- The PA package arrived at its destination on 12/22/20.
- The VT package arrived in Atlanta at 5:17 on the 12/20/20.
- On the 21st it arrived at the “local” USPS facility in Stockbridge, GA, and was out for delivery.
- On 12/22/20 it went from Stockbridge to southern CT, arriving on 12/23/20.
- That night it went to Nashua, NH, where it remains.
These events are, indirectly, caused by COVID: people are out less, traveling less, shopping online, and mailing rather than delivering presents. Thus, the presumed disruption is sheer overload of the system.
As essential workers, employees involved in packing, sorting, driving, and delivering all these orders are more exposed to infection. Every sick employee puts extra strain on all the others, who have to scramble to fill the supply chain.
But what if there’s more to it than that?
All of the above are true, but my writer’s brain can’t help spinning far more fantastic scenarios. Three possibilities come immediately to mind.
A Shadowy International Organization Did It
Foreign agents from several countries have demonstrated that they have the ability to hack into and interfere with U.S. systems. Perhaps it was the Illuminati. Maybe it’s a rogue branch of the CIA or the NSA.
In this case, possibly they created a bug in the electronic sorting systems to misdirect randomly targeted packages in a way that never shows up but creates massive unpredictability.
It could even be the manufacturer of what was ordered, secretly diverting every product bound for the East Coast and implanting surveillance equipment as part of their plan to take over the entire supply of saltwater taffy.
The Postal Workers Did It
Postal workers have felt overworked and under-appreciated. The new Postmaster General is a political appointee who doesn’t know or care how the United States Post Office works. Hours have been cut, essential equipment has been removed and destroyed, some customers are told to be treated better than others, and warehouses are filling with ever-growing piles of late deliveries.
Because December is always the busiest month at the Post Office, employees are burdened by irate customers. They retaliate at both the local and national level. At the local level, the packages of rude customers are shifted to a “delay” bin. When a customer comes in with an inordinate number of packages, half of them also go to the delay bin. When the packages in the “delay” bin go out, they are stamped with a secret symbol telling other works along the line to delay this package. Members of the Postal Workers’ Union have passed the word on the dark web.
The Fickle Finger of Fate is Responsible
A great, cosmic karma targeted people who haven’t suffered enough during COVID—who haven’t suffered food deprivation, loss of housing, loss of employment, depression, substance abuse, or actually suffering COVID hospitalization. These people have their packages delayed and lost as the first part of Cosmic Balance Restoration. Unfortunately, sometimes people outside the target group are affected.
Bottom line: Consider your delivery debacles (or any other disruption in your usual expectations) and what might be the real cause!