Of course, humans are driven by a lot more than two motivations. Various levels of deprivation (of all sorts of needs, such as food, shelter, sleep, sexual release, and much more) can motivate behavior in specific situations. Those are not the focus of this blog. Instead, I’m focusing on two powerful motives that tend to shape behavior across numerous situations and often whole lifetimes.
I’m talking about the need for achievement and the fear of failure.
In the simplest terms (according to me) the difference is striving to be the best versus trying to be good enough.
Need for achievement is the desire to obtain excellent results by setting high standards and striving to accomplish them. It is a consistent concern with doing things better.
People with high need for achievement often undertake tasks in which there is a high probability of success and avoid tasks that are either too easy (because of lack of challenge) or too difficult (because of fear of failure).
An example of the latter would be a 5-ft-tall basketball player with poor leaping ability, ball handling abilities, and passing skills. Such a person high in n-Ach is unlikely to try out for the team!
Recognizing Accomplishment
Even “minor” accomplishments deserve to be recognized and celebrated.
Studies have shown that feeling a sense of accomplishment is an important element in students developing positive wellbeing over time.
Research also shows that people with a strong sense of purpose, persistence, and accomplishment perform better at work.
Because one tennis ball is simply not enough
People high in need for achievement present as ambitious, driven, successful … and insecure. The need for achievement drives behavior in school, work settings, even recreational activities. In case it isn’t obvious, this trait can cause problems:
Driven to achieve the task—any and every task
Fails to differentiate “urgent” from merely “important”
Has difficulty delegating
Struggles with producer-to-supervisor transition when promoted
Obsesses about getting the job done at all costs
Craves feedback
No doubt about it, people high in n-Ach put themselves under a lot of pressure. At first glance, it might seem that such people should relax, take it easy, and be happy doing well enough.
Fearing failure in a particular endeavor is experienced by most people, including high n-Ach people, sometimes. Think a new situation or task, or one that’s just being learned. Think public performances. There are times when just not humiliating oneself is success.
Fear of Failure
This is why restaurants deliver.
But the fear of failure, more generally, is an irrational and persistent fear of failing.
(FYI, irrational and extreme fear of failing or facing uncertainty is a phobia known as atychiphobia.)
Sometimes fearing failure might be triggered in only one specific situation/task. Sometimes it’s more generalized. And sometimes it’s related to another mental health condition such as anxiety or depression.
In any case, the fear of failure varies in level of severity from mild to extreme. Here are a few ways it’s commonly exhibited:
A sense of hopelessness about the future
Chronic (versus occasional or limited) worry
Worry about what other people will think about you if you fail or don’t do well
Frequent procrastination
High distractibility, being pulled off task by irrelevant or unimportant things
Avoiding tasks or people associated with a project or general goal
Physical symptoms (fatigue, headaches, digestive troubles, joint or muscle pain) that prevent working toward a goal
Believing that you don’t have the skills or knowledge to achieve something
Feeling like you won’t be able to achieve your goals
Procrastinating to the point that it affects your performance or ability to finish on time
Telling people that you will probably fail so that expectations remain low
Underestimating your own abilities to avoid feeling let down
Worrying that imperfections or shortcomings will make other people think less of you
Failing makes you worry about your ability to pursue the future you desire
Failing makes you worry that people will lose interest in you
Failing makes you worry about how smart or capable you are
Failing makes you worry about disappointing people whose opinions you value (especially family/friends)
You tend to tell people beforehand that you don’t expect to succeed in order to lower their expectations
Once you fail at something, you have trouble imagining what you could have done differently to succeed
You often get last-minute headaches, stomach aches, or other physical symptoms that prevent you from completing your preparation
You often get distracted by tasks that prevent you from completing your preparation which, in hindsight, were not as urgent as they seemed at the time
You tend to procrastinate and “run out of time” to complete your preparation adequately, as a way of protecting your belief in your ability to have done it
Social Media can illuminate and exacerbate both the need for achievement and the fear of failure. Twitter, Reddit, Facebook, and Bored Panda (just to name a few)
Bottom line: Two people may exhibit the same behavior, even turn in the same objective performance, but their reasons for doing so can vary dramatically.
March 1 is your day: National Peanut Butter Lover’s Day. (The whole month of March is National Peanut Month.) Seeing that observance on the calendar is what prompted me to dig into the topic of peanut butter—and peanuts in general.
Peanut Butter with Everything
I’ve never been a big fan of PB&J sandwiches—sacrilege, I know, given that the National Peanut Board estimates that the average child will eat 1,500 PB&J sandwiches before graduating high school—but my earliest peanut butter love was peanut butter on pancakes with a splash of maple syrup. My father ate them that way, as did/do all his children and grandchildren. The last time I was in IHOP, my favorite wasn’t on the menu, which I found incomprehensible.
Today I still avoid PB&J sandwiches, just too sticky and soft. But I willingly eat peanut butter on toasted English muffins with jelly, honey, molasses, or bananas.
Twitter user vinceatsass prefers “raw” P,B,&J.
Among my other go-to options are smoothies with peanut butter, bananas, and chocolate. And speaking of chocolate, I’ve been known to swirl peanut butter with chocolate syrup for a sweet treat. Peanut butter is also great on Granny Smith apples, when I want to nod toward healthful. And let’s not forget peanut butter fudge, with or without chopped nuts, chocolate chips, etc. And trail mix. And chocolate chip cookies. And smoothies. And, and, and . . .
Writing my recent blog on snacks and snacking (February 1, 2022) I noted the following among favorite snack pairs, in descending order of popularity
Cchocolate and nuts (some of which must have been peanuts)
Peanut butter and jelly
Peanut butter and apples
Chocolate and peanut butter
Surprisingly, peanut butter and bacon wasn’t on the list
What is/are your favorite combination(s)?
In 1996 I bought The Peanut Cookbook by Dorothy C. Frank, a library discard with a copyright date of 1976. But good recipes never die! Recipes are grouped in the usual categories: appetizers and nibbles; soups, salads, main dishes, vegetables; breads, biscuits, and breakfast; desserts and candies. There are dressings for vegetable salads; sauces for poultry and meat; and “syrups” for sweets. Peanut Butter Meatloaf with Sweet Potato Frosting doesn’t appeal to you? Turn the page! Even recipes that don’t tempt you to attempt are interesting to read.
One of the candy recipes is for Jimmy Carter’s favorite peanut brittle recipe.
Have I at least tempted you to check on-line recipes?
Not quite the same kind of peanuts, but I’m sure they’re delicious!
Evolution of Peanut Butter
George Washington Carver was an agricultural scientist. He created more than 300 products from the peanut plant, but peanut butter was not one of them! By 1916 when he published “How to Grow the Peanut and 105 Ways of Preparing it For Human Consumption” patents related to peanut butter preparations had been granted to various pharmacists, doctors, and food scientists.
If not Carver, then who? And when? According to the National Peanut Board, there is evidence that ancient South American Inca Indians were the first to grind peanuts to make peanut butter. They speculate that the peanut plant originated in Peru or Brazil. People in South America made pottery in the shape of peanuts or decorated jars with peanuts as long 3500 years ago.
As early as 1500 B.C.E. the Incas used peanuts as sacrificial offerings and entombed mummies with peanuts to help them in the afterlife. Central Brazilian tribes ground peanuts with corn to make a drink.
Flower of the peanut plant (Arachis hypogaea)
But no version of peanuts or peanut plants made a direct trek north. European explorers took peanuts from South America to Spain. Explorers and traders carried peanuts to Asia and Africa. Africans introduced peanuts to the U.S./North America in the 1700s.
By 1783 Suriname had a food called peanut cheese. More solid than peanut butter, it could be sliced and served like cheese.
In the U.S., peanuts were first grown in Virginia and used for oil, as a cocoa substitute, and as food for livestock and the poor. Peanuts were considered difficult to grow and harvest. Their popularity grew (geographically and otherwise) as a result of Civil War soldiers on both sides subsisting on them (and presumably finding them tasty).
P. T. Barnum’s circus vendors called “hot roasted peanuts” for sale as they traveled across the country in the late 1800s.
Before peanut “butter,” there was peanut paste. In 1884, a Canadian named Marcellus Gilmore Edson was granted a patent for his paste, made from roasted peanuts.
Dr. John Harvey Kellogg (of cereal fame) invented a version of peanut butter in 1895, patented in 1898, that he served at his Western Health Reform Institute. Kellogg was a big proponent of plant-based food instead of meat, and for a time it was considered a food for the wealthy because they were the patrons of the expensive health care institutes. Peanut butter, like sushi and lobster, morphed from food for the poor 9and livestock) to food for the elite. But it really burst onto the public stage at the St. Louis World’s Fair in 1904.
Peanut butter became a popular source of protein during the two World Wars, being provided to troops by the Armed Forces. Recently (2020), on average, Americans ate 7.6 pounds of peanuts and peanut products each—probably even more now. In March 2020, during the COVID-19 pandemic, 299.34 million ate peanut butter; retail sales of peanut butter in the U.S. increased by 75% over the level in March 2019.
Although National Peanut Butter Day is past (January 23), there are more chances to celebrate in 2022!
March is National Peanut Month
March 1, National Peanut Butter Lover’s Day
March 8, National Peanut Cluster Day
April 2, National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day
May 18, I Love Reese’s Day
June 12, National Peanut Butter Cookie Day
September 13, National Peanut Day
November, National Peanut Butter Lover’s Month
November 20, National Peanut Butter Fudge Day
Mark your calendars! And there are plenty of days open to create a peanut celebration of your own!
In Western astrology (derived from early Babylonian star charts), your birth sign depends on when during the calendar year you were born. I happen to be an Aries. But the Chinese sign of the zodiac under which one is born depends upon the birth year (based on the Chinese lunar year). I was born under the sign of the Rooster. Many people in the US—most?—are more or less aware of such things.
(This kind of Tiger!)
Similarly, awareness that 2022 is a Tiger year is relatively widespread. But not so many people are aware that Tiger years aren’t all alike: 2022 is the year of the Water Tiger. Say what?! There is a Tiger year every 12 years, but a Water Tiger year cycles every 60 years.
The Five Elements
The Chinese Five Elements (Metal, Wood, Water, Fire, and Earth) also cycle in order, so the alignment repeats every 60 years. The basic theory is that the zodiac sign characteristics are affected by/ interact with the elements. The Five Elements are used in Chinese medicine, philosophy, fengshui, fortune-telling, and martial arts.
Because they are less familiar to most Westerners, I’ll start with the qualities of the five elements:
Wood-benevolence,
Fire-propriety,
Metal-righteousness,
Water-wisdom,
Earth-fidelity/honesty.
The Chinese Five Elements are a bit like scissors/ paper/ rock in that no one element is always the strongest. In the controlling/ overcoming/ destruction/ restraining/ weakening interactions: Fire melts Metal, Metal chops Wood, Wood breaks up Earth, Earth absorbs Water, Water quenches Fire.
In the generating/ begetting/ engendering/ mothering/ enhancing interactions: Metal carries Water, Water nourishes Wood, Wood feeds Fire, Fire creates Earth/ash, Earth bears Metal.
How Do the Elements and Signs of the Zodiac Interact?
Each Chinese Zodiac Sign has a fixed element. This is the element that carries over from year to year. For the Tiger, the fixed element is Wood—and benevolence fits very well with the overall characteristics of Tigers.
How Do We Get a Water Tiger?
This year aligns a Water year and a Tiger year. A person’s characteristics are said to be determined both by the fixed element of their zodiac sign and the element of the year they were born in. Children born this year are supposed to have characteristics of Tigers, Wood, and Water.
On the positive side, Tiger are energetic, brave, ambitious, and confident, and driven to work for justice and the greater good. Male Tigers are talented and charismatic, driven to achieve their goals both professionally and romantically. Female Tigers are intelligent and strong, fearless natural leaders.
However, Tigers are often arrogant, brash, impetuous, and domineering. Their independence can translate to a lack of communication, leaving Tigers surrounded by acquaintances but still lonely. The Tiger is the king of the jungle, but a human Tiger might come across as a dictator.
Water Tigers are more likely to separate family and work life, with better interpersonal skills than the average Tiger. They are calm, careful, adaptable, and quick learners.
For more in-depth horoscope information on Tigers (including forecasts by blood type), check out Your Chinese Astrology.
Writers Take Note: Consider drawing on the Chinese Zodiac and the related elements when developing your character. The traits often seem to be compatible.
How did the zodiac order come to be?
In Western astrology, the astrological signs are based on constellations of stars that typically light the night sky during that month. They are ordered by the calendar year.
How did the Chinese zodiac years come to be Rat, Ox, Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Goat, Monkey, Rooster, Dog, and Pig in that order? According to chinahighlights.com, the story of the Chinese zodiac is much more entertaining. I’ll quote it here.
The Heavenly Gate Race Story — Reasons for Zodiac Rankings
Long, long ago, there was no Chinese zodiac. The Jade Emperor wanted to select 12 animals to be his guards. He sent an immortal being into man’s world to spread the message that the earlier one went through the Heavenly Gate, the better the rank one would have.
Early Risers: Quick-Witted Rat and Diligent Ox
Rat ranks first.
The next day, animals set off towards the Heavenly Gate. Rat got up very early. On his way to the gate, he encountered a river. He had to stop there, owing to the swift current. After waiting a long time, Rat noticed Ox about to cross the river and swiftly jumped into Ox’s ear.
The diligent Ox did not mind at all and simply continued. After crossing the river, he raced towards the palace of the Jade Emperor. Suddenly, Rat jumped out of Ox’s ear and dashed to the feet of the Emperor. Rat won first place and Ox was second.
Competitive and Fast: Tiger and Rabbit
Tiger and Rabbit came third and fourth because both are fast and competitive, but Tiger was faster. (Rabbit got across the river by hopping on stepping stones and a floating log.)
Good-Looking Dragon and Crafty Snake
Good-looking Dragon was fifth and was immediately noticed by the Jade Emperor, who said Dragon’s son could be sixth. But Dragon’s son didn’t come with him that day. Just then, Snake came forward and said Dragon was his adoptive father; so Snake ranked sixth.
Kind and Modest Horse and Goat
Horse and Goat arrived. They were very kind and modest and each let the other go first. The Jade Emperor saw how polite they were and ranked them seventh and eighth.
Jumping Monkey
Monkey had fallen well behind. But he jumped between trees and stones, and caught up to be ninth.
Last were Rooster, Dog, and Pig.
These 1twelve animals became guards of the Heavenly Gate.
Why No Cat? — Enmity Between Cat and Rat
Although Cat and Rat were neighbors, the former always bullied the latter, and Rat felt very angry but dared not say it out loud; therefore, he sought revenge on Cat.
Upon hearing the Emperor’s decree Rat chuckled to himself and thought: “This is an opportunity”.
The sleepyhead Cat kicked open Rat’s door, ordering Rat to keep him informed of when he was going to the Emperor’s birthday party, and Rat readily promised that he would.
On the morning, however, Rat left quietly without informing Cat. Cat didn’t wake up until the race was over and it was too late — he was not able to make it into the cycle.
After the party, a great enmity grew between Cat and Rat, so that rats scatter in all directions when a cat appears.
An alternative version of the story says that Cat and Rat got as far as crossing the river together on Ox’s head, but Rat pushed Cat into the water (and Cat was washed away and drowned or didn’t get back to the Heavenly Gate in time to get a ranking).
Personality Traits
The ranking story above is made up according to people’s understanding of characteristics of the 12 animals. And when people talk about a person’s zodiac sign, they might think about the zodiac sign’s characteristics.
For example, when talking about Tigers, people think of brave, competitive, unpredictable, and confident people. Oxen are decisive, honest, dependable, and hardworking. There is a wealth of information available online about every aspect of life suggested for each sign, including careers, colors, numbers, flowers, education, and just about anything else a writer might use.
People born under certain zodiac animal signs are also assumed to have varying levels of compatibility with other signs. This goes beyond simple romantic relationships; like the balance of the five elements, each animal offers something different to each other animal. A friend of mine had a daughter in the year of the Fire Monkey and insisted that her sister-in-law (an Earth Rat) be the first person to hold the baby. Rats provide wisdom and guidance to Monkeys, tempering some of their more negative qualities.
How to Behave During Chinese New Year
According to chinesenewyear.net, there is a whole raft of taboo behaviors during this time. The majority of these taboos stem from an overall belief that the year will continue as started – whatever you are doing at the beginning of the year, you will be doing the whole year long.
To prepare for two weeks of partying, traditional “celebrations” can start an entire week before the New Year. Dates vary around the world, but the Laba Festival (腊八, when families pray to their ancestors for luck in the coming year) can be as early as the 8th day of the 12th month of the previous year.
The Little Year (小年) is observed in the days leading up to New Year, generally for about a week. Any festival foods that can be made ahead of time are prepared and stored. Homes, cars, streets, cemeteries, and everything else are scrubbed clean. Hair salons are often extra busy as people rush to fit in a last haircut or manicure before they avoid using sharp instruments. Train and bus stations are nearly overwhelmed when city dwellers travel to their family homes (think American airports on Thanksgiving, but dialed up to 11). New Year’s Markets are popular places to purchase gifts and new clothes in which to start the year.
In 2022, Chinese New Year falls on February 1st. Celebrations continue through February 15th, culminating with the Lantern Festival. Good luck observing all of these taboos for two weeks!
Do not say negative words.
Do not break ceramics or glass.
Do not clean or sweep.
Do not use scissors, knives, or other sharp objects.
Do not demand debt repayment.
Avoid fighting and crying.
Avoid taking medicine, visiting the doctor, perform/undergo surgery, get shots.
Do not give New Year blessings to someone still in bed.
Writers Note: Breaking these taboos could be a source of tension between characters. The lengths a character goes to in order to avoid these taboos could make for interesting tension.
New Year celebrations everywhere include traditions of honoring one’s elders and ancestors, spending time with family, giving gifts, and having a fresh or clean start. Many people make a point of forgiving debts and reconciling with those who have grown distant in the previous year.
Red is considered a lucky color almost everywhere Chinese New Year is celebrated, especially red envelopes. Adults hand out lucky money to children (and sometimes elders) in special red envelopes. Crisp, clean, new bills straight from the bank are preferred, always in an odd number. In America, $2 bills are especially prized!
Because of the Chinese diaspora, the Lunar New Year is celebrated in many countries with large populations of people with Chinese heritage (including America!). Many of these countries have their own traditions and taboos while celebrating. Here are a few examples of different customs:
Celebrations follow the same lunar calendar used for Chinese New Year but usually only last for three days.
Family is a primary focus of celebrations, including offerings to ancestors, visiting elders and other family members. and tending to family graves. The first day of festivities is usually reserved for family gatherings.
Lion dances, setting off fireworks, displays of symbolic fruits and flowers, and “Chinese Markets” are common public forms of celebrating.
Specific methods of celebrating vary widely among regions
White is a very lucky color at this time (Tsagaan Sar literally translates as “white moon”): people ride white horses, exchange white gifts, and eat white foods made from dairy
Honoring elders and making sincere reconciliations with anyone wronged figure prominently in every community
Losar celebrations vary according to regional differences in Buddhist practices
The holiday is often celebrated with prayer and temple visits
Decorations incorporate Buddhist signs, such as the Eight Auspicious Symbols marked on walls
The first three days of Losar focus on specific devotions: Lama Losar – dharma teachers and gurus; Kings Losar – community and national leaders, the Dalai Lama offers greetings and blessings to other national leaders; Choe-kyong Losar – gods and divine protectors
I read in an interview with Ursula K. Le Guin that science fiction has both feet planted solidly in the science of today, that the fictional parts are pushing beyond those roots in a way that is both logical and plausible.
So when I read a blurb for CREATION: How Science is Reinventing Life Itselfby Adam Rutherford, I immediately thought science fiction. According to Rutherford, we are radically exceeding the boundaries of evolution and engineering entirely novel creatures—from goats that produce spider silk in their milk to bacteria that excrete diesel to genetic circuits that identify and destroy cancer cells. Imagine what stories might be told in a world where such creatures are commonplace, where such engineering is taken for granted. Imagine the products, and the governmental involvement.
Fantasy, on the other hand, is making it up out of whole cloth. Even so, it could draw on science for an idea.
For example, another book I came across recently has such possibilities: TEMPERATURE-DEPENDENT SEX DETERMINATION IN VERTEBRATES edited by N. Valenzueta & B. Lance. It contains articles by leading scholars in the field and reveals how the sex of reptiles and many fish is determined not by the chromosomes they inherit but by the temperature at which incubation takes place.
Fantasy could be a story in which human sex is determined by ambient temperature. And perhaps it can vary as the temperature varies. And so forth.
Now, if you wrote a story about a world over-run by snakes and fish because of global warming, you would be back to science fiction. Ditto for a world in which the biological engineering described in CREATION results in changing many species to be temperature-reactive and put that in the context of global warming.
Bottom Line: Check out the latest in science and then let your imagination run wild!
“Is it still a sea monster if it’s swimming in the snow?”
“Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” has been around—and around and around. Assuming you’ve either answered it to your own satisfaction or relegated it to the realm of The Great Unknowable, surely you need different questions to ponder late at night in the year ahead. After browsing both online and print sources, I compiled this collection. Here you go!
Are children who act in ‘R’ rated movies allowed to see them? (Tanveer K. Atwal in The Matrix Revolutions, 2003)
“My name is Ruby, and I eat the Christmas joy of others.”
“I sit and stare at people blankly, making them extremely uncomfortable.”
’Tis the season: people travel, and houseguests—welcome, or not—can be annoying. Now, I recognize that some annoyances can be avoided if you have a big house and/or household help. But for the rest of us, an extended visit can be a trying time in ways big and small.
Space Invasion
“I went into my mom’s purse while she was asleep, ate a tube of bright red lipstick, and chewed up three $1 bills.”
“I ate all the lights off the Christmas tree!!! -Dusk”
Your housepest leaves shoes or boots in public, trip-hazard places.
Outerwear overflows the closet.
Hats, gloves, scarves, keys, etc., are left on kitchen counters otherwise used for cooking.
Your favorite chair is otherwise occupied!
Shod feet end up on coffee tables, chairs, or sofas.
Your housepest insists on helping when it would be so much easier to just do it yourself!
Dirty dishes make it as far as the kitchen sink but never into the dishwasher.
A housepest sleeping on the sofa can effectively dictate when you’re allowed in your own living room.
Entertainment?
“I was mad that they trimmed my nails, so I pulled the buttons off the remote to Dad’s new TV… They still can’t find the 3. =)”
“My name is Ruby, and today I made it a goal to loot my humans’ laundry basket, steal every dirty sock, and RANDOMLY hide them all overour apartment.”
You like a quiet house until time for a drink and the evening news. Your housepest turns on the TV for daytime game shows and soap operas.
You try to watch TV with a channel-surfer who tunes away for every commercial, only to encounter commercials on other channels, eventually switching back to the original program, often having stayed away too long.
You prefer PBS, news, and nature programs and your pest prefers sports, comedy, and reality TV—or vice versa!
Sound Pollution
“I’ve been screaming all morning”
“I ate the gingerbread house, and my mom called Santa!“!”
Your housepest turns on the TV, radio, etc., and leaves the room to shower or whatever without turning it off.
Your housepest talks over whatever else is going on—e.g., while you are watching TV or carrying on a conversation.
You are spending time with a person who talks at great length and volume while saying little, especially annoying if the monologue is on repeat.
Presumption
“I’m not allowed on this couch… but I’m cute so the rules don’t apply to me… right? -Tula”
“I got hungry, so I ate all the fish food. Then I wanted to feel pretty, so I ate your new lip gloss.”
A pest arrives with too few clothes for the visit and presumes you can fill in any gaps for sweatshirts, socks, or pajamas.
And/or your housepest arrives with dirty laundry for you to handle—and this is not your own kid home from college!
After you mention what you are currently reading, your current read is confiscated for the entertainment/education of the pest.
Your housepest dons any jewelry or accessories not currently being worn and then says, “Is it all right if I wear this today?”
Food Fights
“I ate 2lbs of raw meat off of stove that mom had just started cooking for our family Christmas dinner.”
“I lick the butter.”⁰
After arriving, your housepest announces that s/he is vegan, lactose intolerant, off all carbs, allergic to garlic, etc.
On the flip side, careless housepests could bring or make food that triggers your allergies or goes against your religious or moral convictions.
Every morning involves a food-run that results in muffins, donuts, bagels, or similar breakfast fare that everyone must share.
“I complain loudly if I’m not happy with my breakfast choices.”
Some people won’t eat peas, cooked mushrooms, tomatoes (except in ketchup), onions, or any vegetable that isn’t cooked to mush.
Crumbs, candy wrappers, and drink containers left about could attract vermin that stick around long after the human housepest has gone.
Whenever alcohol is added to the situation, there are nearly infinite opportunities for disagreement:
Is red wine an absolute travesty with fish?
How many drinks are acceptable with dinner?
What if one party is an alcoholic or a recovering alcoholic?
Misfits
“I shred paper and scatter it all over the house for everyone to enjoy. I want to be a hamster.”
“I terrorize all my tankmates (including two harmless snails) so now I live ALONE.”
You are a 1:00 a.m. to 10:00 sleeper while your housepest is an 8:00 p.m. to 4:00 a.m. sleeper.
You and your housepest know that you disagree on social, political, and/or religious issues but s/he keeps bringing it up.
Your housepest knows best: the right things to do and how to do them, what to eat, the best way to get anywhere, the proper way to celebrate any occasion…
Pests Who Come With Pests
“I brought a live mouse into the apartment and released it in my human’s bedroom”
“I smell like stink bugs. =( “
They bring along their pets, complete with shed fur, messes on the floor, midnight barking/ chirping/ squeaking, stinky food, and the strange idea that they are welcome on the sofa.
Children who throw tantrums, draw on the walls, complain about anything and everything, cry all night, break Great Grandma’s antique china, or just sulk in a corner with headphones on because nothing is fair.
Secondary pests might even be brought unknowingly, such as lice or bedbugs.
There’s always a chance that a visitor could transmit infections, anything from a cold to the Bubonic Plague.
“On the fifth day of Christmas… we ate the kids’ advent calendars. That’s about 30 chocolates each.”
Bottom line: Few people match perfectly on every dimension. Acknowledging that means you won’t set unrealistic expectations for a visit. And sometimes, forewarned is forearmed!
“I punch this cat in the face until she lets me eat her dinner, even after I’ve already been fed.”
I love food. For me, eating and drinking across cultures is one of the main reasons to go somewhere new! Wherever I go, I try to buy a cookbook (written in English!). For me, the danger of writing about food and drink is going overboard. Describing every type of potato at Thanksgiving dinner, listing all the ingredients in Potato Cottage Pie…
Unless you are Waverley Root, or your book is actually about food, remember that a little goes a long way. It’s like transportation in that way.
These are a crime against nature and tastebuds. Perhaps they could be a murder weapon!
So, when people come together over potatoes (or other food), keep the focus on advancing the plot:
Is serving only five types of potato dishes at Thanksgiving Dinner the mark of a sociopath?
Who says what while passing the potato rolls?
What is the significance of Mama making instant potatoes?
What are people thinking and feeling as they dig into the smashed potatoes?
Meals can be extremely important to your plot. They can be a platform for bringing people together.
The best part of cottage pie is the mashed potatoes!
Show alliances
Awkward or humorous character interactions
Illustrate insecurities
Demonstrate relative wealth or poverty
Highlight grudges
Plot world domination
Establish alibis
Make revelations or confessions
Commit murder
But while the dinner table is the platform, keep the focus on the action.
This might be enough mashed potatoes for my family dinner. Maybe. I’ll make more just to be safe.
Another function food and drink can serve is to illustrate ethnic roots—either for the first time, or as a reinforcement. Jacket potatoes are clearly associated with Ireland and England in ways that sweet potato pie just isn’t. On the other hand, kumpir (baked potato bars) are almost exclusively Turkish!
Kumpir stalls in Istanbul provide plenty of variations on simple street food.
Additionally, food and drink preferences can define your character.
Does s/he prefer kumpir with just butter or with all the toppings piled on?
Do they mix sausage and beets into the baked potato or eat it in layers?
Extra pickled cabbage?
Cacik and ketchup on top or on the side?
Drink (and food) choices can say much about your character’s roots, socio-economic status, and self-concept.
Hannukah begins at sunset on November 28 this year. Bring on the latkes!
One way food and drink can poison your prose is by focusing on the food and drink to the detriment of the plot, action, and character. But cliché food and drink is just as hazardous.
With so many potato varieties, the plot possibilites are endless!
You need to bring two people together to talk. You have them sit down with soda and potato chips. Ho-hum. First of all, try to bring in food only when it’s relevant.
So your first defense against this poison it to get them together over something less stereotyped.
Blue potatoes are surprisingly sweet.
Peeling potatoes together
Comparing scalloped potato recipes
Making French Fries in a fast food kitchen
Visiting the Potato Famine Museum
Sourcing Russian Blue potatoes for an elegant Mafia dinner
Even planting potatoes together!
Your second line of defense is to add a few vivid sensory images. Consider the coffee and potato bread option. Even if eating and drinking is background to the conversation, make your reader smell the coffee, feel the dense chewiness of the bread, savor the potato flavor in the dough, etc.
Some people are so fixated on potatoes that they can’t even make bread without adding mashed potatoes. It’s a bit sad, really.
Bottom line: Food and drink can be great or deadly—your choice!
If you’re really stuck for ideas, try turning your characters into food!
I wrote about bones last week, but the spine deserves a starring role. For one thing, the spinal cord (along with the brain) control everything else in the body. The spine is the bony canal and transmission hub for the spinal cord. Scroll on through and find the parts most interesting to you!
Skeleton of a 15th Century woman with severe scoliosis.
Spine Facts
The spine is extremely flexible, allowing people to move in so many ways.
It has more than 120 muscles attached.
Over 100 joints allow for the spine’s extreme flexibility and range of movement.
It can bend far enough back to make ⅔ of a circle.
The spinal column includes approximately 220 individual ligaments.
These ligaments keep the vertebrae interconnected, which is paramount to keeping the spine (as well as the nerves it’s protecting within the spinal cord) stable.
Cartilage in the spine can expand and contract.
Over one fourth of the spine’s total length is created from cartilage, the sponge-like substance that separates one vertebral disc from the next.
Gravity can cause the cartilage to expand and contract. Sometimes when people go into space they come back taller!
People are also taller in the morning than at night, because at night gravity has been pushing down on the spine all day.
Exercise programs that emphasize good posture and strong torso muscles can reduce pressure on individual vertebral discs, increasing height.
It is also why people “shrink” with age: the permanent compression of cartilage can shorten one’s height by two inches or more.
The spine has an exceptional memory.
The spine remembers one’s usual posture.
A habit of bad posture is difficult to change.
But a spine will remember good posture, too, once it’s established.
Approximately 80% of Americans will suffer back pain in their lifetimes.
Back pain is the number one reason that people miss work in the U.S.
Back pain in also a leading cause behind disability claims in the United States.
Most back pain, approximately 80%, doesn’t require medical treatment and typically subsides in one to two months.
The most common cause of spinal cord trauma and resulting back pain in America is car accidents.
Most back pain is experienced in the lower back.
This is because the lower back is constantly twisting and stretching.
Some scientists believe that back pain is due to evolution, and in many ways is not preventable.
Homo sapiens never fully evolved to walk upright, but reproductive drive shifted away from species survival.
This is what a baby’s skeleton looks like, right?
Babies’ spines begin developing just two months after conception.
The spine is the first bone to start to grow in utero.
When we’re born, our spines consist of 33 individual vertebrae. As we age, some of these vertebrae fuse together.
The five vertebrae composing our sacrum become one bone and the coccygeal vertebrae – which can vary from three to five bones – fuse together as one.
Thus, the tailbone is formed.
The spine is incredibly strong.
It can hold hundreds of pounds / kilograms of weight.
Spine Functions
Scoliosis and a therapeutic brace
And Some Surprising Effects on Our Daily Functioning
Teardrop fracture in cervical vertebrae
Cervical Spine = 7 vertebrae. (FYI, humans and giraffes have the same number of vertebrae in their necks.)
C1, is sometimes called Atlas. This is a reference to the Greek mythological Atlas who was burdened with carrying the world on top of his shoulders (much like the neck supports and carries the weight of the head). C1 is involved in blood supply to the head, pituitary gland, scalp, bones of the face, brain, inner and middle ear, and sympathetic nervous system. Possible symptoms of problems:
Headaches and migraines
Nervousness
Insomnia
Head colds
High blood pressure
Amnesia
Chronic tiredness
Dizziness
C2: also called the Axis, involved with eyes, optic nerves, auditory nerves, sinuses, mastoid bones, tongue, and forehead. Possible symptoms of dysfunction:
Sinus trouble
Allergies
Pain around eyes
Earache
Fainting spells
Certain cases of blindness
Crossed eyes
Deafness
C3: cheeks, outer ear, face bones, teeth, trifocal nerve
Neuralgia
Neuritis
Acne/pimples
Eczema
C4: cheeks, outer ear, face bones, teeth, trifacial nerve
Hay fever
Runny nose
Hearing loss
Adenoids
C5: vocal cords, neck glands, pharynx
Laryngitis
Hoarseness
Throat conditions such as sore throat or quinsy
C6: neck muscles, shoulders, tonsils
Stiff neck (of course)
Pain in upper arm
Tonsilitis
Chronic cough or croup
C7: thyroid gland, bursae in the shoulders, elbows
Bursitis
Colds
Thyroid conditions, which can relate to weight, fatigue, hair loss, cold hands and feet
Thoracic Spine = 12 vertebrae– the middle portion of the back
T1: arms from the elbows down, including hands, wrists and fingers, esophagus and trachea
Asthma
Cough
Difficulty breathing
Shortness of breath
Pain in lower arms and hands
T2: heart, including its valves and covering, coronary arteries
Functional heart conditions
Certain chest conditions
T3: lungs, bronchial tubes, pleura, chest, breast tissue
Bronchitis
Pleurisy
Pneumonia
Congestion
Influenza
T4: gallbladder, common duct
Gallbladder conditions (of course)
Jaundice
Shingles
T5: liver, solar plexus, circulation (general)
Liver conditions
Fevers
Blood pressure problems
Poor circulation
Arthritis
T6: stomach
Nervous stomach
Indigestion
Heartburn
Dyspepsia
Other stomach troubles
T7: pancreas, duodenum
Ulcers
Gastritis
T8: spleen
Lowered resistance
T9: adrenal and suprarenal glands
Allergies
Hives
T10: kidneys
Hardening of the arteries
Chronic tiredness
Nephritis
Pyelitis
Other kidney problems
T11: kidneys, ureters
Acne
Pimples
Eczema
Boils
Other skin conditions
T12: small intestines, lymph circulation
Rheumatism
Gas pains
Certain types of sterility
Lumbar Spine = 5 vertebrae – the lower back.
L1: large intestines, inguinal rings
Constipation
Colitis
Dysentary
Diarrhea
Some ruptures or hernias
L2: appendix, abdomen, upper leg
Cramps
Difficulty breathing
Minor varicose veins
L3: sex organs, uterus, bladder, knees
Bladder troubles
Menstrual troubles/ pain/ irregularity
Miscarriages
Bed wetting
Impotence
“Change of life” symptoms
Many knee pains
L4: prostate gland, muscles of the lower back, sciatic nerve
Sciatica
Lumbago
Painful or too frequent urination
Backaches
L5: lower legs, ankles, feet
Poor circulation in the legs
Swollen ankles
Weak ankles and arches
Cold feet
Weakness in the legs
Leg cramps
Sacrum: hip bones, buttocks
Spinal curvatures
Sacroiliac conditions
Coccyx: rectum, anus
Hemorrhoids
Pruritus (itching)
Pain at end of spine on sitting
Scoliosis treatment via surgical implants
The spine is truly fascinating! While its complexity interests us, that complexity is one reason so many different spinal conditions exist. If you’re suffering from back pain beyond occasional stiffness and muscle stress, it’s recommended you consult your physician to see if a visit to a spinal specialist or chiropractor is warranted.
Quotes about spines (literal, metaphorical, and figurative).
If you would seek health, look first to the spine. — Socrates
You only really discover the strength of your spine when your back is against the wall. — James Geary
Very few people wear no jewelry at all, at any time. That said, men are more likely than women to be among those few. Where, when, and what type of adornment provide fertile ground.
Characters from different cultural backgrounds, time periods, and social classes are likely to view jewelry in ways that seem odd to outsiders.
In determining your characters’ jewelry profiles, start with “Why does this character wear (or not wear) jewelry?”
Uses of Jewelry
Jewelry is often viewed as a fashion accessory for complementing one’s clothes, especially for special occasions. With a bit of imagination, it can be so much more.
Research has shown that wearing jewelry can increase an individual’s self-esteem. Nursing home residents with memory loss were less unruly when they wore jewelry.
Not wearing jewelry when it is the norm can also attract attention, possibly criticism (such as removing a wedding ring before going out to drink).
Flo-Jo (Florence Griffith-Joyner)
Many wear jewelry as a symbol of femininity or masculinity. Think of the number of female athletes who wear jewelry while competing or even coaching. Think biker chains and skulls.
Jewelry has an obvious dollar value that can be a signifier, even if it is fake.
Showcase social status or wealth
Serve as an investment
Be a safety net for financial independence
This is especially common among women, particularly in nomadic cultures
Traditional Afghani Bridal Jewelry
Jewelry can make a person feel confident and attractive.
Jewelry can have personal or sentimental value. It can be a powerful connection to loved ones and memories.
Many wear jewelry because, well, one likes how it looks.
Wearing jewelry can be a way to express oneself.
Red jewelry, for example, connotes vitality, courage, and confidence.
Anchor jewelry denotes stability, strength, steadfastness, and hope.
Hemp
A variety of jewelry pieces signify strength, courage, and hope. Some actually contain the word—in letters or Morse code.
The recorded sound wave of a loved one’s voice (or bark) can be etched onto the metal of a ring or pendant.
Others are symbolic like the Celtic tree of life, the Viking axe pendant, the Egyptian ankh, or the eagle ring. Still others could be more esoteric, like dragonfly earrings supporting the wearer to pursue dreams. These are often gifted or awarded to someone.
Jewelry for Healing or Health
One well-known example is the usual 7 stones in the chakra, used for reiki, healing, meditation, chakra balancing, or ritual:
Amethyst (Crown Chakra)
Carnelian (Sacral Chakra)
Yellow Jade (Solar Plexus)
Green Aventurine (Heart Chakra)
Lapis Lazuli (Throat Chakra)
Clear Crystal (Third-Eye Chakra)
Red Jasper (Root Chakra)
Virtually every stone is associated with physical and/or mental health in one way or another. Whole books have been written about. One good all-around reference for The Book of Stones: Who they are & What They Teach by Robert Simmons & Naisha Ahsian.
Particular Stones in Jewelry
First of all, think birthstones.
Although there is assumed to be a particular affinity with one’s birthstone, there is no hard evidence (that I found) that this is the case. One thing they all have in common is that they sparkle, especially in sunlight. Some wearers find the sparkle both beautiful and cheering.
In general, does your character prefer sparkly stones, opaque ones, or no stones?
Malachite
As a general rule, sparkly stones are dressier as well as more expensive than opaque ones. Are these factors?
Opaque stones offer more variety, from jasper to turquoise to onyx.
Color and pattern are primary considerations.
Turqupise: An Example of How a Stone Can Be Related to a Character
John is an undercover police officer, 6’4” tall, and he wears silver jewelry as a statement that he’s a rogue, and not to be intimidated. Depending on the role he’s playing, he sometimes goes more subtle, choosing a tie bar, cufflinks, or belt buckle.
When he delved into turquoise, he discovered the huge range of colors, including copper-turquoise in blue, green, purple, red/orange, and black.
Women find him handsome and say his jewelry just accentuates that he’s one of a kind. He once dated a woman who told him turquoise represents wisdom, tranquility, protection, good fortune, and hope, and that contemporary crystal experts celebrate it for its representation of wisdom, tranquility, and protection. John is skeptical of all that.
His preference for turquoise reflects his (distant) connection to Native American culture, even though he has no involvement with a tribe and was reared entirely within the Anglo world. However, his paternal great-grandfather was Navajo. John has a blue turquoise ring that belonged to his great-grandfather, and a green turquoise one made by his great-grandfather’s brother.
When those rings came to John, he was surprised to learn that Native Americans (the Hohokam and Anasazi peoples) first started mining and using turquoise around 200 B.C.E. They mined the famous Cerrillos and Burro Mountains of what is now New Mexico and, in Arizona, the Kingman and Morenci turquoise mines.
When John is deep in thought, he often turns his ring around and around. Depending on context, he can do this when problem solving, daydreaming, or planning. He is very disciplined not to do it when playing poker or being threatened.
Which Metal
Platinum
Gold
White gold
Yellow gold
Red gold
Silver
Aluminum
Titanium
Stainless steel…
Not to mention the role of leather, cord, wood, hemp… But I’m not going there!
When Not to Wear Jewelry
Many professions require specific jewelry or no jewelry at all. This could be for safety considerations or to create a specific professional impression.
Most medical professionals cannot wear rings, bracelets, necklaces, or large earrings for health safety.
Jobs requiring heavy machinery, blades, or high temperatures (locksmith, chef, welder, etc.) generally prohibit wearing anything that dangles or hangs.
Actors, dancers, and other stage performers may have to wear jewelry to match a costume or another performer.Those working out of the spotlight, such as in the pit orchestra or in the flies usually wear no jewelry, at least nothing that catches the light.
Raw food can also get caught in the settings of rings and bracelets, trapping bacteria and other contaminants in your jewelry and leading to possible skin irritation or contaminated food. While at the beach, the sun, sand, and sharks (attracted to shiny objects) are three reasons why not to wear jewelry at the beach.
Whenever the activity might damage or wear-down the gem or the metal. This list is just a reminder. You can figure out the risks associated with each activity for yourself—except, maybe, sleeping!
Showering
Swimming
Whether in the pool or at the beach
Exercising
Cleaning
Getting ready in the morning
Gardening
Cooking
Sleeping
Painting
Jewelry prongs/settings can wear down faster during sleep, especially if someone tosses and turns a lot. The prongs can also become bent out of shape if caught on a sheet or blanket, making the chances of accidentally losing a gemstone more likely.
Bottom line: Writers, tap the rich vein of jewelry and gemstones to add depth and detail to your work!
Even without pausing to think, people can easily describe their sleep habits. What does your character think and feel about about his or her own ? Is sleep a welcome respite or a necessary evil? What’s necessary for your character to fall asleep—and stay there? Is insomnia a chronic condition, or only within the plot situation? Does your character sleep as an escape mechanism? Does your character take sleep aids? Self-medicate with alcohol? Does sleep feel like a waste of time?
Deviating From Eight Hours
By now, pretty much everyone knows that, on average, people spend approximately one third of their lives sleeping. Anything that time-consuming must impinge on people’s (characters’) awareness.
It turns out most people sleep about 7 hours a night, so that would be “normal.” Fewer than 6 hours a night means one is a short sleeper, and more than 8 hours a night is a long sleeper. Does it matter?
People tend to perceive short sleepers as high-energy, productive, and on top of things. Long sleepers are often perceived as lazy, or at least not hard workers.
What is your character’s sleep duration? Is s/he happy with with it? Smug? Defensive? Self-conscious?
Sleeping longer is better for physical health. A study published in the American Journal of Epidemiology titled Sleep Duration and Survival Percentiles Across Categories of Physical Activity says sleep duration affects physical health: Those who get less than six hours of sleep are at increased risk of diabetes, hypertension, and early death even if they’re active and exercise regularly.
But can one sleep too much? Not if you maintain a reasonable level of physical activity. (Inactive long sleepers also die earlier, usually from cardiovascular problems.)
Keep this in mind when creating realistic characters.
Early Birds vs. Night Owls
Early birds tend to get up early without setting an alarm, and even on the weekend. Mornings are the most productive times. And activity trackers indicate that early birds actually move 60-90 more minutes per day. They fade in the evening, often in bed by 10:00.
There is a middle group: Day people sleep a little later and are most effective in the afternoon.
Night owls sleep as late as possible and are up well past nightfall, into the wee hours of the morning. Night owls tend to sit more and move less, even when researchers factored for education and health conditions—so need to make an effort to move more for health reasons! And because this pattern doesn’t fit the world at large, making appointments for doctors, etc., can be problematic. Robo-calls while still in bed are especially annoying!
Stereotypes favor early risers for being healthy, wealthy, and wise. On the other time, creative types often report that their best work hours are evening/wee hours of the mornings.
NB: sleep patterns can change naturally over the lifespan. Infants sleep almost constantly; teenagers seem to sleep only while in a classroom setting.
What is your character’s sleep rhythm? Is it felt to be a blessing, a burden, or relatively irrelevant fact of life? Does s/he struggle against the “natural” rhythm? If so, why? Does your character push the limits for staying awake and then “catch-up” later?
Napping
Some people doze off while sitting in a chair; some settle into a recliner and nap intentionally; and yet others can only nap in their own beds, often with shoes off and tight clothes loosened.
Some take “power naps” for 15 minutes or so during the work day; others nap for an hour or more at a time.
Napping offers several benefits for healthy adults, including
Relaxation
Reduced fatigue
Increased alertness
Improved mood
Extended functioning hours later
Improved performance, including quicker reaction time and better memory
Napping can also have negative effects, such as
Sleep inertia: feeling groggy and disoriented after waking up from a nap.
Nighttime sleep problems.
Short naps generally don’t affect nighttime sleep quality.
People who experience insomnia or poor sleep quality at night, napping might worsen these problems.
Insomniacs often have trouble napping at all because it takes longer to fall asleep than the allotted duration of the nap!
Does your character nap? Where? Why? And is s/he okay with that?
Dreaming
Does your character claim not to dream? If so, s/he is mistaken. People team an average of 7 times a night during so-called REM sleep. These dream periods get longer as the night’s sleep progresses. Chances are, your dream denier simply doesn’t wake up within ten minutes of dreams ending.
Are dreams important to your character? Some people mine dreams for clues to their inner lives, creative insight, and even hints of the future. Some people treasure dreams as raisers of awareness of non-conscious problems or conflicts. Some believe internal conflicts actually get solved during dreams. Some dreams are erotic and can lead to sexual release. And some people keep dream journals for later review and inspiration for creative works.
Like other dreams, nightmares often include elements of real life: anxiety, fears, failures, embarrassments, or trauma. People do not wake up happy from nightmares. Because nightmares are a disruption of the REM cycle rather than a part of it, a sleeper with nightmares wake up less refreshed than before. (Nightmares are not the same as night terrors.)
Lucid dreaming is less well-known than other sorts of dreams. According to Psychology Today, “During lucid dreaming, which most commonly occurs during late-stage REM sleep, a dreamer is aware that they’re asleep, but is able to control events within their dreams, to some extent.” Lucid dreamers report willing themselves to fly, fight, or act out sexual fantasies. There are communities dedicated to learning how to lucid dream at will, although evidence that this is possible remains inconclusive. Still, that doesn’t mean your character can’t be a dedicated lucid dreamer!
Research indicates that dreaming is crucial to intellectual functioning, memory consolidation, and mood regulation. A sleeper who is allowed to undergo every part of the REM cycle except dreaming will eventually develop the same problems as severe sleep deprivation, including hallucinations and strokes!
What is your character’s dream scape? Are dreams remembered? Are they amusing, irritating, or sources of unease? Does your character talk about his/her dreams? If so, to whom?
Bottom line: sleep—and everything associated with it—can make your plot richer and your character more realistic.
A while back (March 10, 2020, to be exact) I wrote a blog Sleeping Alone and Together, about gender and personality reflected in sleep positions.
