CONSIDER THE ONION

They say inspiration comes from everywhere. Interesting details to add to your writing also come from everywhere. To flavor your work, consider the onion.

(For a laugh, consider the satirical new website The Onion, but I’m actually talking about the plant in this instance.)

Onion Lore

There is a vast array of folklore surrounding onions. Onions are part of nearly every cuisine around the world, so nearly every culture has found uses for onions beyond cooking.

  • If you stick pins into a small onion and keep it on your windowsill, it dispels bad spirits from your home—or so says folklore. (Garlic has been used for the same purpose.)
  • Onions are also thought to ward off snakes and witches.
  • American colonists hung onions outside their doors to deflect evil spirits and keep them from coming inside.
  • If you throw onion peels on the floor, you’ll throw away your luck.
  • In many prehistoric societies, onions were the symbol of eternity, fit only for the gods. Additional symbolism includes protection, memories, jealousy, envy, divine healing, and mood swings.
  • Onions in dreams may represent the layers the dreamer needs to get through to find the source of a problem or issue. Alternatively, the dreamer may need to cleanse something in order to start afresh.
  • Put an onion under your pillow if you wish to dream the identity of your future lover.
  • In Egypt, an onion held in the right hand was a sign of fealty, used to swear allegiance to Cleopatra, and were a farewell offering carved into Tutankhamen’s tomb. They have been found in the pelvic region of mummies, in the thorax, and flattened against the ears. In 1160 BCE, King Ramses IV was entombed with onions in his eye sockets.
  • In other cultures, onions were associated with the devil. In Persia, it was said that when Satan was banished from paradise, onions sprang from the print of his right foot. 
  • Romans believed that eating onions increased the quantity and vitality of sperm. Some Middle Eastern cultures considered onions an aphrodisiac.
  • In England, onions predicted the weather: a thick skin meant a bad winder ahead, a thin skin, a mild one.
  • Schoolboys used to believe that rubbing their bottoms with onion juice would numb them to the sting of disciplinary caning.
  • If you want to make a wish on Friday morning, sprinkle salt and pepper on an onion skin and toss it into the fire while thinking the wish.  Other days or times? Who knows?
  • When undecided about something important, scratch each option on a different onion and store them in the dark. The first one to sprout reveals your best choice. This applies to choosing one’s lover/husband as well!
  • In English-speaking countries, some people believe that putting onions under the bed of a sick person aids recovery. 
  • Stringing onions up around the house, especially at the entrance will guard against illness, accidents, and curses.
  • Put a slice of onion under the doormat to keep away unwanted visitors.
  • If onions sprout in your kitchen, plant them. If they grow, you will come into unexpected money.
  • The cut side of an onion has been used to relieve the effects of insect stings, and to draw poison from the bites of venomous snakes and rabid dogs.
  • Snakes hate the smell of onions, so carry one when you walk in snake territory to ward them off.
  • Get rid of warts by rubbing the edge of an onion on the warts and then throw the onion over your right shoulder without looking back.
  • Onion juice provides extra sulfur which can support strong, thick hair, thus preventing hair loss and promoting hair growth. The sulfur from onions may help collagen production which, in turn, promotes healthy skin.

Onion Medicine

Folk medicine often contains a kernel of truth, and onion medicine is no different. Modern medical researchers study onions’ palliative properties for everything from high blood pressure to cholesterol levels. 

  • Because eating onions causes one to perspire, they’ve been used in folk medicine to cure colds. 
  • Onions are low in calories yet high in nutrients, including vitamin C, B vitamins, and potassium. 
  • Research shows that eating onions help reduce heart disease risk factors, such as high blood pressure, elevated triglyceride levels, and inflammation. 
  • Red onions are rich in anthocyanins, which are powerful plant pigments that may protect against heart disease, certain cancers, and diabetes. 
  • Onion consumption is associated with improved bone mineral density. 
  • Onions are a rich source of prebiotics, which help boost digestive health, improve bacterial balance in your gut, and benefit your immune system. 
  • Onions have been shown to inhibit the growth of potentially harmful bacteria like E. coli and S. aureus
  • Onion juice can cure colds, cough, high fever, and sore throat. (One might want to eat parsley to combat onion-breath!)

Onion Facts

Even without their miraculous fortune-telling powers or magical healing properties, onions are pretty nifty vegetables!

  • Most people cut onions before eating them, often tearfully. Chilling peeled, halved onions in the fridge or in a bowl of ice water for 30 minutes can lessen the onion tear production.
  • FYI: onion tears are chemically different from tears caused by pain or sadness. 
  • No one knows for sure where onions first appeared. Some believe they originated in Central Asia; other say onions were first grown in Iran and West Pakistan. But onions were surely eaten long before they were cultivated, and now they are grown in 135 countries.
  • When Europeans came to the New World, they brought onions with them, only to find that Native Americans were using wild onions for food, in syrups, as poultices,  as an incident in dyes, and as toys!
  • Worldwide, people consume and average of 11 pounds of onions per year, but onion  eating varies widely by geography. Turkey has the highest consumption, with 80.7 pounds per capita per year. In the US, the figure is 18.6 pounds per person per year. 
  • WARNING: all parts of onions (and related plants, like garlic) are toxic to dogs and cats! Raw or cooked, as little as 1/4 cup can make a 20-pound dog sick. 

If that’s not enough onion-y brain fodder, check out the National Onion Association, the Encyclopedia Britannica, The Old Farmer’s Almanac, and the story of The Oldest Onion in Denmark.

I like learning when I read, and I try to include bits of lesser-known information in my stories. For example, gasoline cost ten cents a gallon during the Great Depression, and around the time of the Civil War, the census’s listed the occupation of prostitutes as seamstresses. 

Bottom line: Consider adding a little onion to your writing!

THE DOWNSIDE OF SELF-CONCEPT

Despite being a legendary harpist, ruler, and monarch, King David said, “But I am merely a worm, far less than human, and I am hated and rejected by people everywhere.” ~Psalm 22:6
Chu Wanning of Er Ha He Ta De Bai Mao Shi Zun is a visual illustration of the power of self-concept. When he appears in other’s flashbacks, Chu Wanning is an extremely handsome young man. When he is the narrator, Chu Wanning is an old, ugly, weak man.

Self-concept is how people perceive their behaviors, abilities, and unique characteristics.  For example, beliefs such as “I am a good friend” or “I am a kind person” are part of an overall (positive) self-concept. These perceptions of oneself are important because they affect motivations, attitudes, and behaviors.  Self-concept also impacts how people feel about who they think they are, including perceived competence and self-worth.

Low self-worth is having a generally negative overall opinion of oneself, judging (or evaluating) oneself critically, and placing a generally negative value on oneself as a person.


Self-esteem is a similar concept to self-worth but with a small (although important) difference: self-esteem is what we think, feel, and believe about ourselves, while self-worth is the more global recognition that we are valuable human beings worthy of love (Hibbert, 2013). People with low self-confidence tend to have low self-esteem and vice versa.

Abraham Lincoln’s “melancholia” is likely to have been influenced by a negative self-concept.
“Every man is said to have his peculiar ambition. Whether it be true or not, I can say for one that I have no other so great as that of being truly esteemed of my fellow men, by rendering myself worthy of their esteem.”

Some of the most common characteristics of low self-esteem—of which there are many—also appear in those with low self-worth:

  • Depression/sadness
  • Anxieties
  • Low mood
  • Feelings of inadequacy
  • Extreme focus on clothing, makeup, grooming, etc., because of a belief that self worth comes from exterior appearance
  • Poor confidence
  • Feeling like a burden to other people
  • Criticize their appearance and personality regularly in their head and out loud
  • Feeling a lack of control in life
  • Negative social comparison
  • Negative self-talk
  • Worry and self-doubt
  • Not trying things out of fear of failure
  • Neglect of their own needs, particularly emotional ones
  • Guilt over self-care
    • (E.g., you feel guilty buying things because you feel you don’t deserve them.)
Esther Summerson, in Charles Dickens’ Bleak House, has been described as both an ideal of Victorian womanhood and a personification of low self-esteem.
(Illustration by Hablot Browne)

Some of these characteristics have an obvious effect on how a person interacts with others.

  • Avoiding social situations
  • Trouble accepting positive feedback
  • Afraid to talk in a conversation, and belief that no one listens when they do
  • Sensitive to any criticism and obsessing about it for weeks if not months
  • Apologize when other people bump into them
  • Problems asking for what they need
  • Fear of leaving the house to avoid anything out of their comfort zone
  • Questioning how a romantic partner could possibly love them
  • Always needing everyone’s agreement
  • Needing constant validation from others
  • Constantly comparing themselves to other people
  • Treating Feel other people are more important
  • Belief that other people don’t actually enjoy your company and are just being polite
Avatar Korra masks her low self-esteem by being impulsive and impatient. This leads to anger, depression, isolation, physical impairment, and nearly destroying the world.

Some of these characteristics may affect how a person interacts with others in less obvious ways.

  • Frequent anger and irritability
  • Difficulty making decisions because of worry about making the wrong one
  • Needing to be perfect 100% of the time
  • Over-achieving in general
  • Overly accepting or not accepting flaws in others
  • Tendency to criticize other people to make oneself feel better
  • Jealousy of other peoples accomplishments, instead of being happy for them
  • Shifting blame to others because they think it is unacceptable to make the slightest mistake

How Did This Happen? 

Even after becoming a mother, a senior witch, and Queen of Lancre, Magrat Garlick (left) remained in the shadows of the elder witches in her coven.
“She seemed to have spent her whole life trying to make herself small, trying to be polite, apologizing when people walked over her, trying to be good-mannered. And what had happened? People had treated her as if she was small and polite and good-mannered.” (Lords and Ladies by Sir Terry Pratchett)

Causes of low self-esteem can include:

  • Disapproval from authority figures or parents
  • Emotionally distant parents
  • Sexual, physical, or emotional abuse
  • Contentious divorce between parents
  • Bullying with no parent protection
  • Academic difficulties
  • Guilt associated with religion
  • Social beauty standards
  • Unrealistic goal setting

Does It Have To Be This Way? 

If these sound all too familiar to you personally, don’t panic!  You can retrain your brain and start to replace all the negative things you told yourself with positive things.

Several ways in which one can improve self-esteem:

In one of the most dramatic depictions of negative self-concept, George Bailey (It’s a Wonderful Life) so firmly believes that he is “worth more dead than alive” that he considers suicide.
  • Identify and challenge negative beliefs
  • Identify the positive about oneself
  • Build positive relationships—and avoid negative ones
  • Give yourself a break
  • Become more assertive and learn to say no
  • Improve physical health
  • Take on challenges

Low self esteem can lead to anger, depression and anxiety, and generally a miserable life. Therefore, it’s important it is to work on it—and to keep working on it. If you have never worked on your self esteem before, positive affirmations for confidence are a good place to start.

Bottom line: You can identify low self-worth (in yourself and/or others) and portray it in your characters without an explicit label.

SNACKING: WHY AND WHERE

WHO? 

Nearly everyone in the U.S.

Over 70% of surveyed Americans said they snack.

WHAT?

Food that isn’t part of a regular meal, usually a small amount.

In fact, dictionary definitions specify a small amount. However, eating more than a quart of ice cream can be a snack without being small. (For some of the most popular snack foods, see last week’s blog.)

WHEN?

Any time, day or night. Or habitually, the same time every day and/or every night

WHERE?

Anywhere possible!

  • Wherever you watch TV
  • Reading chair
  • Bed
  • Boat
  • Car
  • Bar
  • At sports events
  • On fishing trips
  • Hiking
  • Pillow fort
  • Treehouse
  • In front of the refrigerator
  • While driving
  • Backstage
  • Grandma’s house
  • In class (not recommended)
  • Hospital waiting room
  • Swimming
  • Camping
  • Wakes
  • Wedding receptions
  • Card parties
  • Cocktail parties
  • Retirement parties
  • Birthday parties
  • Graduation parties
  • Virtually any kind of party

WHY?

Duh! Who needs a reason? But let me list a few.

  • Too hungry to wait for a meal
  • Too busy to stop for a meal
  • Too tired to cook a meal
  • Need to gain weight
  • Need to lose weight
  • To maintain blood sugar levels
  • To explore when traveling
  • It’s a favorite food, so it’s the pleasure principle
  • It’s right there
    • When you see it, you eat it, the convenience factor
  • To be polite when someone offers food 
    • In many cultures, it is considered rude to refuse an offer of food, particularly from a host
  • You’re drinking
    • Well established that people snack more with alcohol
  • You always eat leftovers
    • The waste-not principle
  • You need an energy boost
  • You feel like celebrating
  • You’re feeling down or depressed
  • You want to reward yourself
  • It’s a habit
    • You always have a bite to eat at a particular time
  • Other people are snacking
    • Psychology has documented that people who’ve stopped snacking when alone in a room start eating again when someone else comes in and starts eating

Bottom line: Snacking is ubiquitous. What can we learn about ourselves and/or our characters based on what, when, where, and why we snack?

SNACKS AND SNACKING IN AMERICA

While filming The Avengers (2012), Robert Downey Jr routinely hid food around the set so he could snack between takes. When he offered to share with his co-stars, the director let the camera keep filming. And so we end up with Iron Man offering Captain America and Hulk some of his blueberries.
Some people (particularly those who keep outgrowing their sneakers) snack on anything that stays still long enough.

February is National Snack Food Month. It was started in 1989 to “to increase consumption and build awareness of snacks during a month when snack food consumption was traditionally low” according to the Fooducate wellness community. February 15th is a particularly good day to stock up on chocolate!

According to Oxford Languages, a snack is a small amount of food eaten between meals. Snacks often differ from main meals in what they contain, portion size, consumption time, and place as well as why they`re eaten 
So, theoretically, it can be anything.  But certain foods are more likely to be chosen than others. My personal observations—totally not scientific—is that people tend to be primarily salty snackers OR sweet snackers.

Salty or Sweet?


You can find favorite junk food by state, but these are the nation’s most popular snacks, as measured by consumer opinion.

  • Jif.  (peanut butter)
  • Oreos. 
  • Lay’s.  
  • Pringles. 
  • Fritos. 
  • Snickers. 
  • Tostitos.
  • Cheetos.

And sometimes, one is not enough: according to a OnePoll survey of 2000 snackers, 60%  said snacks taste better when they’re paired together.

Celery salt and Worcestershire sauce?
  1. Cookies and cream                         39 percent
  2. Chocolate and nuts                         37 percent
  3. Popcorn and chocolate                   35 percent
  4. Chocolate and marshmallow          34 percent
  5. Chocolate and fruit                         33 percent
  6. Peanut butter and jelly                   32 percent
  7. Peanut butter and apples               30 percent
  8. Cheese and crackers                       27 percent
  9. Chips and salsa                                26 percent
  10. Chocolate and peanut butter         26 percent

Modern Snack Trends

Little Women is modern, right?


According to an article by Bridget Goldschmidt (progressivegrocer.com), Americans are snacking between meals more than ever, and eating snack foods with meals grew by 5% over the ten-year period from 2010 to 2020. She cited several conclusions.

Some people bake the cookies before eating them.
  • NPD (a national research group) also found that snacking follows a daily pattern in most U.S. households: better-for-you snacks such as fruit or yogurt are eaten in the morning; snacks like potato chips or tortilla chips are likely eaten at lunch; and sweeter snacks like chocolate candy and cookies in the evening. 
  • What drives snacking?
    • Taste
    • Satiety (how full the eater is)
    • Preferences 
    • How easy a food is to eat 
    • Time of day (health-driven motivation gives way to satiety as the day goes on)
  • The COVID-19 pandemic ramped up snacking. (How surprising is that? Not.) The NPD study cited in the article found that having enough snack foods available during the pandemic is important to 37% of consumers. These consumers’ homes are well stocked with salty snacks and frozen sweets more than other items. 
  • In many cases, the more snack food packages in the home, the more often the item is eaten, which tends to be particularly true of certain kinds of snack foods, such as salty snacks.
Wonder Woman takes her snacking seriously.
Kebabs are wonderful!

According to the survey of 2,000 American snackers mentioned above: 

  • 71 percent of all those surveyed consider themselves “snackers”
  • 66 percent said snacking brings them great joy
  • 67 percent said snacking is one of their favorite forms of stress relief
    • (No wonder snacking is up during the pandemic!)

Snacks? What Snacks?

Conan the Barbarian always steals Princess Yasimina’s snacks, but at least he shares.

48 percent of surveyed Americans have stashed their favorite treats in hidden spots around the house (often with no plans to share!).

Doctor McCoy tries to hide his snacks, but Vulcans are notorious snack sleuths.
  • 46 percent of those who had hidden snacks said they simply “don’t want to share” 
  • 53 percent said the people they live with would “eat them all” if they knew where to look

Of respondents who have ever hidden snacks, 69 percent said they’re currently doing so!

  • 72 percent said their snack stash has been discovered by someone else
  • The average person has moved a snack stash four times to try to keep it a secret.
  • 71 percent of the time partners and kids were the finders of respondents’ “snackpiles”
  • Only 6 percent of respondents have never been caught
Does time travel for fries count as a hiding place?

A few creative snack hiding places:

  • Behind the washing machine
  • Inside oatmeal containers
  • Behind books on a bookshelf
  • In the freezer, behind the broccoli
  • Under yarn piles in a knitting basket
  • On a top shelf, out of sight
  • Among cleaning supplies
  • At the bottom of the diaper bag
  • Taped to the underside of the fish tank lid
  • Behind the butter churn
  • Suspended from the ceiling, above the ceiling fan
  • In the wall, behind the vents or outlet covers


And the average respondent believes they could survive almost FIVE full months on their stockpile of snacks alone. 

Really? I’d be pressed to live 5 months on my pantry, 2 refrigerators, and a freezer! Surely that was 5 full months of snacks. 


BOTTOM LINE: In the U.S., you now know the what of snacking, and a bit of the when.

STAY TUNED: Next week I’ll delve into where and why!

Science Fiction or Fantasy?

I read in an interview with Ursula K. Le Guin that science fiction has both feet planted solidly in the science of today, that the fictional parts are pushing beyond those roots in a way that is both logical and plausible.  

So when I read a blurb for CREATION: How Science is Reinventing Life Itself by Adam Rutherford, I immediately thought science fiction. According to Rutherford, we are radically exceeding the boundaries of evolution and engineering entirely novel creatures—from goats that produce spider silk in their milk to bacteria that excrete diesel to genetic circuits that identify and destroy cancer cells. Imagine what stories might be told in a world where such creatures are commonplace, where such engineering is taken for granted. Imagine the products, and the governmental involvement.

Fantasy, on the other hand, is making it up out of whole cloth. Even so, it could draw on science for an idea.

For example, another book I came across recently has such possibilities: TEMPERATURE-DEPENDENT SEX DETERMINATION IN VERTEBRATES edited by N. Valenzueta & B. Lance. It contains articles by leading scholars in the field and reveals how the sex of reptiles and many fish is determined not by the chromosomes they inherit but by the temperature at which incubation takes place.

Fantasy could be a story in which human sex is determined by ambient temperature. And perhaps it can vary as the temperature varies. And so forth.

As the planet warms, everything will be overrun by mermaids.
Mermaid by John Waterhouse

Now, if you wrote a story about a world over-run by snakes and fish because of global warming, you would be back to science fiction. Ditto for a world in which the biological engineering described in CREATION results in changing many species to be temperature-reactive and put that in the context of global warming.

Bottom Line: Check out the latest in science and then let your imagination run wild!

QUESTIONS TO PONDER IN 2022

“Is it still a sea monster if it’s swimming in the snow?”

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? has been around—and around and around. Assuming you’ve either answered it to your own satisfaction or relegated it to the realm of The Great Unknowable, surely you need different questions to ponder late at night in the year ahead. After browsing both online and print sources, I compiled this collection. Here you go! 

Are children who act in ‘R’ rated movies allowed to see them?
(Tanveer K. Atwal in The Matrix Revolutions, 2003)
  • If you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do today?
  • If a baby’s leg popped out at 11:59 but it’s head didn’t come out till 12:01, which is its birthday?
  • Are eyebrows considered facial hair?
  • How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
  • How do dead bugs get in enclosed light fixtures?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
  • If you had the opportunity to be different, what would you change about yourself?
  • Why don’t we ever see a billboard being put up by the highway?
  • Can a short person “talk down” to a taller person?
  • Once you are in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
  • If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
  • In winter, why do people keep the house as warm as it was in summer when they complained about the heat?
  • If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?
  • Do bald people get dandruff?
  • Do dentists go to other dentists or do they just do it themselves?
  • Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
  • Are plants actually farming people, giving us oxygen until we eventually expire and turn into mulch which they can consume?
  • How would society change if everyone died at age 35?
How do you handcuff a one-armed man?
  • Do the “Alphabet Song” and “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” have the same tune?
    • How about “Baa-Baa Black Sheep”?
    • Why did you just try singing all of those songs?
  • If you could choose to live anywhere in the world, where would you prefer to live?
  • If a pack of gum says 10 calories per stick, is that for chewing only, or must it be swallowed?
  • Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?
  • What disease did cured ham actually have?
  • Why does the Easter Bunny carry eggs when rabbits don’t lay eggs?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
  • If you could commit any crime and get away with it, what would you do?
  • If you could have any car you wanted, which car would you choose? Would it be practical or flashy?
  • Why are people IN a movie but ON TV?
  • Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are going?
  • Do they bury people with their braces on?
  • What would you do if you found the wallet of a next door neighbor whom you hated?
  • At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?
  • How come you never see a billboard being put up by the highway?
  • If you were walking through the forest and you suddenly saw a tiger, what would you do?
  • If you were told you had a terminal illness and had six months to live, what three things would be most important for you to do?
  • Do people yawn in their sleep?
  • Why do people pay to go up in tall buildings and then put money n binoculars to look at things on the ground?
  • Is believing that your life has purpose a delusion to make you feel better?
  • If you dug a hole through the center of the earth and jumped in, would you stay at the center because of gravity?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet?
  • If you could be famous (a household name), what would you like to be famous for?
  • If you were given a choice to live as long as you want, how long would you like to live?
  • If you could only see three people for the rest of your life, who would they be?
  • If a doctor suddenly had a heart attack while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?
  • Do stairs go up or down?
  • When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?
  • Why do doctors leave the room while you get undressed when they’re just going to see you naked anyway?
  • Is it possible to be allergic to water?
  • What’s a question with no answer called?
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
  • If you had one wish, what would you wish for?
  • If you were given a choice between being given great wisdom or great wealth, which would you choose?
  • Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
  • Why is “bra” singular but “panties” plural?
  • Why is it that produce bags never open from the end you first try?
  • Do fortune cookie fortunes have an expiration date?
  • If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
  • If you could do any job, what would you like it to be?
  • If you were asked to speak to a graduating class, what would you say?
  • Do your eyes change color when you die?
  • How can something be both “new” and “improved”?
    • If it’s new, what was it improving on?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?
  • What if interstellar aliens have intercepted human social media posts, and that’s why they haven’t bothered to invade Earth?
  • What if, when you go underwater, you’re actually entering an alternate dimension where you can fly but you can’t breathe?
  • If you could say a sentence that the whole world could hear, what would you say?
  • If you were given the opportunity to be born again, how would you change how you lived?

BOTTOM LINE: What questions keep you awake or put you to sleep in the still of the night? Inspiration can come in the strangest of questions.

  • For more questions that might break your brain, check out the ShowerThoughts subreddit.
  • You might be surprised at how many of your unanswerable questions have been answered!
    • Try asking your questions of the masses at Quora.
    • The experts at EtymOnline have fascinating insight into the way English etymology shapes the way native English speakers think about things.
    • For super reliable sources, check out Snopes, especially if you can’t determine whether something is true.

HOLIDAY HOUSEPESTS

“My name is Ruby, and I eat the Christmas joy of others.”
“I sit and stare at people blankly, making them extremely uncomfortable.”

’Tis the season: people travel, and houseguests—welcome, or not—can be annoying. Now, I recognize that some annoyances can be avoided if you have a big house and/or household help. But for the rest of us, an extended visit can be a trying time in ways big and small.

Space Invasion

“I went into my mom’s purse while she was asleep, ate a tube of bright red lipstick, and chewed up three $1 bills.”
“I ate all the lights off the Christmas tree!!! -Dusk”
  • Your housepest leaves shoes or boots in public, trip-hazard places.
  • Outerwear overflows the closet.
  • Hats, gloves, scarves, keys, etc., are left on kitchen counters otherwise used for cooking.
  • Your favorite chair is otherwise occupied!
  • Shod feet end up on coffee tables, chairs, or sofas.
  • Your housepest insists on helping when it would be so much easier to just do it yourself!
  • Dirty dishes make it as far as the kitchen sink but never into the dishwasher.
  • A housepest sleeping on the sofa can effectively dictate when you’re allowed in your own living room.

Entertainment?

“I was mad that they trimmed my nails, so I pulled the buttons off the remote to Dad’s new TV… They still can’t find the 3. =)”
“My name is Ruby, and today I made it a goal to loot my humans’ laundry basket, steal every dirty sock, and RANDOMLY hide them all overour apartment.”
  • You like a quiet house until time for a drink and the evening news. Your housepest turns on the TV for daytime game shows and soap operas.
  • You try to watch TV with a channel-surfer who tunes away for every commercial, only to encounter commercials on other channels, eventually switching back to the original program, often having stayed away too long.
  • You prefer PBS, news, and nature programs and your pest prefers sports, comedy, and reality TV—or vice versa!

Sound Pollution

I’ve been screaming all morning”
“I ate the gingerbread house, and my mom called Santa!“!”
  • Your housepest turns on the TV, radio, etc., and leaves the room to shower or whatever without turning it off.
  • Your housepest talks over whatever else is going on—e.g., while you are watching TV or carrying on a conversation. 
  • You are spending time with a person who talks at great length and volume while saying little, especially annoying if the monologue is on repeat.

Presumption

“I’m not allowed on this couch… but I’m cute so the rules don’t apply to me… right? -Tula”
“I got hungry, so I ate all the fish food. Then I wanted to feel pretty, so I ate your new lip gloss.”
  • A pest arrives with too few clothes for the visit and presumes you can fill in any gaps for sweatshirts, socks, or pajamas.
    • And/or your housepest arrives with dirty laundry for you to handle—and this is not your own kid home from college!
  • After you mention what you are currently reading, your current read is confiscated for the entertainment/education of the pest.
  • Your housepest dons any jewelry or accessories not currently being worn and then says, “Is it all right if I wear this today?”

Food Fights

“I ate 2lbs of raw meat off of stove that mom had just started cooking for our family Christmas dinner.”
“I lick the butter.”⁰
  • After arriving, your housepest announces that s/he is vegan, lactose intolerant, off all carbs, allergic to garlic, etc.
  • On the flip side, careless housepests could bring or make food that triggers your allergies or goes against your religious or moral convictions.
  • Every morning involves a food-run that results in muffins, donuts, bagels, or similar breakfast fare that everyone must share.
“I complain loudly if I’m not happy with my breakfast choices.”
  • Some people won’t eat peas, cooked mushrooms, tomatoes (except in ketchup), onions, or any vegetable that isn’t cooked to mush.
  • Afternoon snacks, partially eaten dinner, evening snacks, midnight fridge raids…
  • Crumbs, candy wrappers, and drink containers left about could attract vermin that stick around long after the human housepest has gone.
  • Whenever alcohol is added to the situation, there are nearly infinite opportunities for disagreement:
    • Is red wine an absolute travesty with fish?
    • How many drinks are acceptable with dinner?
    • What if one party is an alcoholic or a recovering alcoholic?

Misfits

“I shred paper and scatter it all over the house for everyone to enjoy. I want to be a hamster.”
“I terrorize all my tankmates (including two harmless snails) so now I live ALONE.”
  • You are a 1:00 a.m. to 10:00 sleeper while your housepest is an 8:00 p.m. to 4:00 a.m. sleeper.
  • You and your housepest know that you disagree on social, political, and/or religious issues but s/he keeps bringing it up.
  • Your housepest knows best: the right things to do and how to do them, what to eat, the best way to get anywhere, the proper way to celebrate any occasion…

Pests Who Come With Pests

“I brought a live mouse into the apartment and released it in my human’s bedroom”
“I smell like stink bugs. =( “
  • They bring along their pets, complete with shed fur, messes on the floor, midnight barking/ chirping/ squeaking, stinky food, and the strange idea that they are welcome on the sofa.
  • Children who throw tantrums, draw on the walls, complain about anything and everything, cry all night, break Great Grandma’s antique china, or just sulk in a corner with headphones on because nothing is fair.
  • Secondary pests might even be brought unknowingly, such as lice or bedbugs.
    • There’s always a chance that a visitor could transmit infections, anything from a cold to the Bubonic Plague.
“On the fifth day of Christmas… we ate the kids’ advent calendars. That’s about 30 chocolates each.”

Bottom line: Few people match perfectly on every dimension. Acknowledging that means you won’t set unrealistic expectations for a visit. And sometimes, forewarned is forearmed! 

“I punch this cat in the face until she lets me eat her dinner, even after I’ve already been fed.”

SELF-IMPOSED “RULES”

Some people see external rules as a challenge!

I don’t mean rules like fastening seatbelts, which are self-regulated laws. I mean personal rules of conduct. 

Many rules” somehow become engrained in one’s thinking/behavior, but are actually totally personal.  

So where do self-imposed rules come from? 

We notice what behaviors bring love and affection, and which result in punishment or rejection. Over time, we develop “rules” to maximize rewards and minimize punishments.

Does open air trumpeting ever bring love and affection?

(For an extended example of this, visit bbekercoaching.com and learn about  the personal rule “Don’t Be A Sourpuss.”)

Some self-imposed rules are consciously adopted. 

For example:

  • No more than three pieces of chocolate at a time.  
  • Walk 10,000 steps a day.  
  • No alcohol before 5:00PM.
  • At least one page of writing a day.
  • Talk with family at least once a week.
  • Never let them see you cry. 

Many of us have internalized rules that could be voiced but seldom are.

The first time I was alone with my future father-in-law (a retired English professor and college dean), he said, “Tell me, what were the guiding principles by which you were reared?”

First I gasped. Then I paused. Then I said, “Your word is your bond. If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right. Finish what you start. If you don’t try, you can’t succeed.  If at first you don’t succeed, try again. If you don’t succeed, at least you’ll know you gave it your best shot. Don’t threaten if you won’t or can’t follow through. Always be there for family. And, of course, The Golden Rule.”  

Upon reflection, I realize that I’ve lived my life by those rules, even when I didn’t consciously call them to mind.

Virtually everyone has comparable rules, developed through childhood, plus rules about  bedtime rituals, morning routines, getting dressed, etc. These are rules we follow because we’ve decided they are good for us. 

Please note: sometimes what we think is a good rule might not be.

  • For example, Don’t argue in front of the children lest they be warped.

But how will they learn to disagree productively? Will they be gobsmacked when their parents announce that they are getting a divorce?

Many such rules are about what not to do. 

Many rules relate to clothes, where unwritten rules/expectations demand dressing a certain way for work, but on weekends are pretty much irrelevant. Even so, one usually stays within the bounds of what one should wear as a person of a given age and gender. Why not wear hats or jewelry around the house?

Similarly, certain hobbies or activities may be passed over because one is of a certain age, or not the right ‘type’ of person for that. Think paintball, rollerskating, singing while walking around outside, learning to play a harmonica…  

And then there are things one does not do simply because, somehow, it isn’t “right.” Think running the dishwasher when it’s only half full. Or leaving dirty dishes overnight. Sleeping in the same clothes worn all day, no matter how comfortable.

Never telling a lie is a rule for some people—and not easy to abide by.

Many self-imposed rules compel us to do things for no objective reason. 

For example, these rules might compel us to put up and take down holiday decorations at particular times, in a particular order. Many people have rules around pet care and household chores.

  • Rule:
    • Always load the dishwasher or dish drainer the same way.
    • Always sort the laundry by color
      • Or fabric
      • Or wash temperature
      • Or not at all
      • Or depending on what one thinks works

And speaking of clothes: change socks and underwear every day. And clothes appropriate to the occasion: says who?

Even in this day and age, some people send only hand-written notes of thanks or condolence, and only send them by U.S. mail.

At this point, you might be thinking, “But there are reasons! That’s the best way!” By what standard?  Much of this happens on a non-conscious level, until challenged—or until the pattern is disrupted. 

Always wear a helmet when riding a bicycle.
  • What about making the bed every day?
  • Or changing the towels once a week?
  • Always making the toilet paper unroll over the top of the roll rather than from under?
  • Hold the door for others?
  • Say “please” and “thank-you.”

All of these and more are “rules” for some people. In other cultures or times, any one of these could be impractical, irrelevant, or downright offensive.

The upside of self-imposed rules: they simplify your life and increase productivity.

  • Living by the rules is efficient.
    • One doesn’t have spend time/energy making the same decision repeatedly.
  • Rules provide predictability.
  • Things done repeatedly require less effort.
  • Rules provide clarity about behavior. 
  • Rules provide security, the knowledge that one is “doing it right.”
  • Rules reduce anxiety.
  • Rules help make sense of the world.

The down-side of self-imposed rules: breaking them has consequences. 

Breaking rules is uncomfortable—and the extent of the discomfort reflects the importance of the rule.

Not keeping (or being able to keep) self-imposed rules can reflect on one’s feelings of self-worth and discipline.

On the other hand, sometimes keeping the rule(s) causes more trouble/damage than benefit.  Sometimes keeping rules induces anxiety.  Some researchers (e.g., see psych diary.com) suggest that perfectionists have more rules and adhere to them more closely. I’d suggest that the effort to comply with one’s rules can be stressful beyond the apparent importance of the behavior.

People differ in the number of self-imposed rules they have and their adherence to them. In the extreme, one might suffer from Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder. Think of Adrian Monk, “the defective detective” whose compulsions keep him from living anything like an ordinary life.

(N.B.: related to but different from phobias.)

Getting over self-imposed rules. 

When rules become stressful, and/or interfere with living happily, something’s gotta give.  Maybe someone people just realize they were unconsciously restricting themselves in certain ways, and choose to change the pattern.  

Some of these rules are relatively easy to recognize and break, but others are much more elusive and potentially insidious.

Ultimately, the person must consciously break a rule and realize that no one exploded, small children did not die, and (probably) s/he didn’t even get negative feedback. Indeed, people close to/living with the rule keeper may express relief, approval, and/or appreciation!

BOTTOM LINE: Consider your own self-imposed rules and (if you’re a writer) those of your characters. Consider bringing the non-conscious to awareness.

GHOSTS: NOT JUST AN OCTOBER THING

The ghost of Banquo appears before Macbeth… so buy this extract!

October is a month flooded with ghost images and stories. You might even know that what we call Halloween is rooted in the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain (pronounced sow-in—go figure!). The Celts lived about 2,000 years ago in what is now Ireland and northern France. Samhain was a time when people felt especially close to dead relatives and loved ones whose friendly spirits were welcomed for dinner, given treats, and provided with lit candles to help them find their way back to the spirit world.

Shortly after Halloween is Dios de los Muertos, the Day of the Dead. In Hispanic culture, November 2nd is the day when the spirits of loved ones can return to the living world to visit with family and friends.

In late August or early September (depending on the lunar calendar), many Asian cultures celebrate the Ghost Festival or the Hungry Ghost Festival. During this week or month, depending on the country, celebrants not only honor their dearly departed but attempt to appease the spirits of the vengeful dead.

One can go online and find ghost stories galore, both ancient and modern.

But Are Ghosts Real? 

Blueskin the Ghost Pirate, from Howard Pyle’s Book of Pirates (1901)

Lots of people think so!

  • On 11/27/21, People wrote that 63% of respondents “to a recent survey” said they believe in paranormal activity of some sort and 57% of Americans believe in ghosts specifically. 
  • On 11/28/21, based on a different survey, USA Today said 40% of Americans believe in ghosts and 20% said they’ve seen one.
  • And according to an 11/28/21 article in The New York Times, a 1990 Gallup Poll reported 25% believed in ghosts.
    • In their 2005 poll, 32% of respondents said they believed in ghosts.
    • A 2019 IPSOS poll reported 46% of respondents were believers.

One might speculate about reasons for the apparent increase in the number of ghost believers over the decades.

Although these numbers are data, they are not proof!

But let’s back up a bit….

What Is a Ghost?

Oxford Language defines ghost (noun) as “an apparition of a dead person which is believed to appear or become manifest to the living, typically as a nebulous image.” But is that what all those survey respondents believe in? Not necessarily.

Some people believe there are categories of ghosts: poltergeists, residual hauntings, intelligent spirits, or shadow people. 

What’s the Evidence? 

Elva Zona Heaster Shue, the Greenbrier Ghost
Elva Shue died in 1897, and the death was ruled to be of natural causes during childbirth. Mary Jane Heaster, Elva’s mother, later told a judge that the ghost of her daughter appeared before her to accuse her husband of murdering her. Elva’s body was exhumed, and signs of strangulation were found on the corpse. Erasmus Shue, Elva’s husband, was convicted of her murder

Bloody Mary – A Halloween greeting card, circa 1900, though the usual apparition is much more gruesome

Actually, there is nothing that scientists agree is evidence in support of ghosts existence. Benjamin Radford, 6/19/21, posted “Are ghosts real?” on livescience.com, considering this question in depth that I have summarized here.

For one thing, there are no clear, definite, agreed upon criteria. The presence of a spirit might manifest as a vision, an unexplained sound or light, a dream appearance, even a change of temperature or a light breeze, a cold spot in a hallway, a door closing for no apparent reason, keys or other objects missing or moved—virtually any unexplained happening/perception.

Contrary evidence is often based on logic and the physical world as we know it. How can an ephemeral being pass through walls, for example, but also lift or move furniture? Why do ghosts appear clothed? If the spirits of the dead can communicate with the living, why don’t murder victims just tell someone who did it?

But perhaps the evidence just hasn’t been found yet

Do People—Many People—Just Need to Believe in Ghosts?

Ancient Sumerian cylinder seal impression showing the god Dumuzid being tortured in the Underworld by galla demons

The belief that the dead remain with us in spirit is an ancient one, documented everywhere from the Bible to “Macbeth.” Many people are comforted by the belief that the spirits of dead loved ones look out for us, or support us in our times of need.

“Ball Lightning”

Some people do not accept that life as we live it is all there is to human existence. Consider the various religions that postulate life-after-death possibilities, whether those be reward/heaven vs. punishment/hell, reincarnation/rebirth, or something else.

For some, believing that spirits linger is a way of not accepting that a loved one is truly gone. 
And for some, the need for closure/understanding might drive them to ghosts as an explanation of anything otherwise inexplicable.

BOTTOM LINE: The lack of scientific support for the reality of ghosts is unlikely to separate believers from their beliefs. The sheer variety of ways ghosts/spirits are thought to manifest themselves means one can always find experiential “evidence” that supports one’s belief.

The Spirit of the Dead Keep Watch – Manao Tupapua
Paul Gauguin

SPINELESS? HEAVEN FORBID!

Hmmm, I think I may have mixed up a few bits.

I wrote about bones last week, but the spine deserves a starring role. For one thing, the spinal cord (along with the brain) control everything else in the body. The spine is the bony canal and transmission hub for the spinal cord. Scroll on through and find the parts most interesting to you!

Skeleton of a 15th Century woman with severe scoliosis.

Spine Facts

  • The spine is extremely flexible, allowing people to move in so many ways.  
    • It has more than 120 muscles attached.
    • Over 100 joints allow for the spine’s extreme flexibility and range of movement.
    • It can bend far enough back to make ⅔ of a circle. 
    • The spinal column includes approximately 220 individual ligaments.
      • These ligaments keep the vertebrae interconnected, which is paramount to keeping the spine (as well as the nerves it’s protecting within the spinal cord) stable.
    • Cartilage in the spine can expand and contract. 
  • Over one fourth of the spine’s total length is created from cartilage, the sponge-like substance that separates one vertebral disc from the next.
    • Gravity can cause the cartilage to expand and contract. Sometimes when people go into space they come back taller!
    • People are also taller in the morning than at night, because at night gravity has been pushing down on the spine all day.
    • Exercise programs that emphasize good posture and strong torso muscles can reduce pressure on individual vertebral discs, increasing height.
    • It is also why people “shrink” with age: the permanent compression of cartilage can shorten one’s height by two inches or more.
  • The spine has an exceptional memory. 
    • The spine remembers one’s usual posture.
    • A habit of bad posture is difficult to change.
    • But a spine will remember good posture, too, once it’s established.
  • Approximately 80% of Americans will suffer back pain in their lifetimes.
    • Back pain is the number one reason that people miss work in the U.S. 
    • Back pain in also a leading cause behind disability claims in the United States.
    • Most back pain, approximately 80%, doesn’t require medical treatment and typically subsides in one to two months.
    • The most common cause of spinal cord trauma and resulting back pain in America is car accidents.
    • Most back pain is experienced in the lower back.
      • This is because the lower back is constantly twisting and stretching.
    • Some scientists believe that back pain is due to evolution, and in many ways is not preventable.
      • Homo sapiens never fully evolved to walk upright, but reproductive drive shifted away from species survival.
This is what a baby’s skeleton looks like, right?
  • Babies’ spines begin developing just two months after conception. 
    • The spine is the first bone to start to grow in utero. 
    • When we’re born, our spines consist of 33 individual vertebrae.  As we age, some of these vertebrae fuse together.
    • The five vertebrae composing our sacrum become one bone and the coccygeal vertebrae – which can vary from three to five bones – fuse together as one.
      • Thus, the tailbone is formed.
  • The spine is incredibly strong.
    • It can hold hundreds of pounds / kilograms of weight.

Spine Functions

Scoliosis and a therapeutic brace
And Some Surprising Effects on Our Daily Functioning
Teardrop fracture in cervical vertebrae
  • Cervical Spine = 7 vertebrae. (FYI, humans and giraffes have the same number of vertebrae in their necks.)
    • C1, is sometimes called Atlas. This is a reference to the Greek mythological Atlas who was burdened with carrying the world on top of his shoulders (much like the neck supports and carries the weight of the head). C1 is involved in blood supply to the head, pituitary gland, scalp, bones of the face, brain, inner and middle ear, and sympathetic nervous system. Possible symptoms of problems:
      • Headaches and migraines
      • Nervousness
      • Insomnia
      • Head colds
      • High blood pressure
      • Amnesia
      • Chronic tiredness
      • Dizziness 
    • C2: also called the Axis, involved with eyes, optic nerves, auditory nerves, sinuses, mastoid bones, tongue, and forehead. Possible symptoms of dysfunction:
      • Sinus trouble
      • Allergies
      • Pain around eyes
      • Earache
      • Fainting spells
      • Certain cases of blindness
      • Crossed eyes
      • Deafness
    • C3: cheeks, outer ear, face bones, teeth, trifocal nerve
      • Neuralgia
      • Neuritis
      • Acne/pimples
      • Eczema
    • C4: cheeks, outer ear, face bones, teeth, trifacial nerve
      • Hay fever
      • Runny nose
      • Hearing loss
      • Adenoids 
    • C5: vocal cords, neck glands, pharynx
      • Laryngitis
      • Hoarseness
      • Throat conditions such as sore throat or quinsy
    • C6: neck muscles, shoulders, tonsils
      • Stiff neck (of course)
      • Pain in upper arm
      • Tonsilitis
      • Chronic cough or croup
    • C7: thyroid gland, bursae in the shoulders, elbows
      • Bursitis
      • Colds
      • Thyroid conditions, which can relate to weight, fatigue, hair loss, cold hands and feet
  • Thoracic Spine = 12 vertebrae– the middle portion of the back
    • T1: arms from the elbows down, including hands, wrists and fingers, esophagus and trachea
      • Asthma
      • Cough
      • Difficulty breathing
      • Shortness of breath
      • Pain in lower arms and hands
    • T2: heart, including its valves and covering, coronary arteries
      • Functional heart conditions
      • Certain chest conditions
    • T3: lungs, bronchial tubes, pleura, chest, breast tissue
      • Bronchitis
      • Pleurisy
      • Pneumonia
      • Congestion
      • Influenza  
    • T4: gallbladder, common duct
      • Gallbladder conditions (of course)
      • Jaundice
      • Shingles
    • T5: liver, solar plexus, circulation (general)
      • Liver conditions
      • Fevers
      • Blood pressure problems
      • Poor circulation
      • Arthritis
    • T6: stomach
      • Nervous stomach
      • Indigestion
      • Heartburn
      • Dyspepsia
      • Other stomach troubles
    • T7: pancreas, duodenum
      • Ulcers
      • Gastritis
    • T8: spleen
      • Lowered resistance 
    • T9: adrenal and suprarenal glands
      • Allergies
      • Hives 
    • T10: kidneys
      • Hardening of the arteries
      • Chronic tiredness
      • Nephritis
      • Pyelitis
      • Other kidney problems
    • T11: kidneys, ureters
      • Acne
      • Pimples
      • Eczema
      • Boils 
      • Other skin conditions
    • T12: small intestines, lymph circulation
      • Rheumatism
      • Gas pains
      • Certain types of sterility
  • Lumbar Spine = 5 vertebrae – the lower back.
    • L1: large intestines, inguinal rings
      • Constipation
      • Colitis
      • Dysentary
      • Diarrhea
      • Some ruptures or hernias
    • L2: appendix, abdomen, upper leg
      • Cramps
      • Difficulty breathing
      • Minor varicose veins
    • L3: sex organs, uterus, bladder, knees
      • Bladder troubles
      • Menstrual troubles/ pain/ irregularity
      • Miscarriages
      • Bed wetting
      • Impotence
      • “Change of life” symptoms
      • Many knee pains
    • L4: prostate gland, muscles of the lower back, sciatic nerve
      • Sciatica
      • Lumbago
      • Painful or too frequent urination
      • Backaches 
    • L5: lower legs, ankles, feet
      • Poor circulation in the legs
      • Swollen ankles
      • Weak ankles and arches
      • Cold feet
      • Weakness in the legs
      • Leg cramps
  • Sacrum: hip bones, buttocks 
    • Spinal curvatures
    • Sacroiliac conditions
  • Coccyx: rectum, anus
    • Hemorrhoids
    • Pruritus (itching)
    • Pain at end of spine on sitting

The spine is truly fascinating! While its complexity interests us, that complexity is one reason so many different spinal conditions exist. If you’re suffering from back pain beyond occasional stiffness and muscle stress, it’s recommended you consult your physician to see if a visit to a spinal specialist or chiropractor is warranted.

Quotes about spines (literal, metaphorical, and figurative).

If you would seek health, look first to the spine.
— Socrates

You only really discover the strength of your spine when your back is against the wall.
— James Geary 

My books are written with a strong chronological spine.
— Doris Kearns Goodwin

Life is so spine chillingly beautiful. — Amani Al-Khatahtbeh

You’re only as old as your spine is flexible.
— Joseph Pilates

Having a spine is overrated. If everybody squealed and ran away, there’d be no more wars. — Robert Anton Wilson

Bottom Line: Consider all the ways spinal injury or malfunction can complicate one’s life, from being paraplegic to urinary incontinence.