“Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” has been around—and around and around. Assuming you’ve either answered it to your own satisfaction or relegated it to the realm of The Great Unknowable, surely you need different questions to ponder late at night in the year ahead. After browsing both online and print sources, I compiled this collection. Here you go! 

• Why is an alarm clock going “Off” when it actually turns on?

• If you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do today?
• If a baby’s leg popped out at 11:59 but it’s head didn’t come out till 12:01, which is its birthday?

• Are eyebrows considered facial hair?
• How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
• How do dead bugs get in enclosed light fixtures?

• Does everyone really have a soulmate?
• Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?

• If you had the opportunity to be different, what would you change about yourself?
• Why don’t we ever see a billboard being put up by the highway?

• Can a short person “talk down” to a taller person?

• Once you are in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
• If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
• In winter, why do people keep the house as warm as it was in summer when they complained about the heat?

• Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

• If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?
• Do bald people get dandruff?

• Do dentists go to other dentists or do they just do it themselves?
• Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

• Are plants actually farming people, giving us oxygen until we eventually expire and turn into mulch which they can consume?

• How would society change if everyone died at age 35?

• If a person told you they were a pathological liar, would you believe them?

• Do the “Alphabet Song” and “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” have the same tune?
  • How about “Baa-Baa Black Sheep”?
  • Why did you just try singing all of those songs?

• If you could choose to live anywhere in the world, where would you prefer to live?
• If a pack of gum says 10 calories per stick, is that for chewing only, or must it be swallowed?

• Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?

• What disease did cured ham actually have?
• Why does the Easter Bunny carry eggs when rabbits don’t lay eggs?

• If you could commit any crime and get away with it, what would you do?
• If you could have any car you wanted, which car would you choose? Would it be practical or flashy?

• Why are people IN a movie but ON TV?
• Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are going?

• Do they bury people with their braces on?

• How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to out wheels on luggage?
• If you blew a bubble in space, would it pop?
• Why don’t the hairs on your arms get split ends?
• Why are those styrofoam bits called peanuts?
• Is there another word for synonym?

• What would you do if you found the wallet of a next door neighbor whom you hated?
• At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?

• How come you never see a billboard being put up by the highway?

• Why do people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up, like, every two hours?
• If the sky’s the limit, is space over the limit?”
• What if there were no hypothetical situations?

• If you were walking through the forest and you suddenly saw a tiger, what would you do?
• If you were told you had a terminal illness and had six months to live, what three things would be most important for you to do?

• Do people yawn in their sleep?
• Why do people pay to go up in tall buildings and then put money n binoculars to look at things on the ground?
• Is believing that your life has purpose a delusion to make you feel better?
• If you dug a hole through the center of the earth and jumped in, would you stay at the center because of gravity?

• Why is the person who invests all your money called a broker?

• If you could be famous (a household name), what would you like to be famous for?
• If you were given a choice to live as long as you want, how long would you like to live?
• If you could only see three people for the rest of your life, who would they be?

• If a doctor suddenly had a heart attack while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?
• Do stairs go up or down?
• When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?
• Why do doctors leave the room while you get undressed when they’re just going to see you naked anyway?
• Is it possible to be allergic to water?
• What’s a question with no answer called?

• Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

• If you had one wish, what would you wish for?
• If you were given a choice between being given great wisdom or great wealth, which would you choose?

• Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
• Why is “bra” singular but “panties” plural?
• Why is it that produce bags never open from the end you first try?
• Do fortune cookie fortunes have an expiration date?
• If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

• If you could do any job, what would you like it to be?
• If you were asked to speak to a graduating class, what would you say?
• Do your eyes change color when you die?

• How can something be both “new” and “improved”?
  • If it’s new, what was it improving on?

• What if interstellar aliens have intercepted human social media posts, and that’s why they haven’t bothered to invade Earth?

• How come only your fingers and toes get wrinkly in water and nothing else does?
• What is more valuable: material possessions or a loving family?
• If children aren’t supposed to take candy from strangers, should Halloween be outlawed?
• What would happen to the sea’s water level if every boat in the world were taken out of the water at the same time?
• Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?
• Is there ever a day when sofas are not on sale?

• What if, when you go underwater, you’re actually entering an alternate dimension where you can fly but you can’t breathe?

• If you could say a sentence that the whole world could hear, what would you say?

• If you were given the opportunity to be born again, how would you change how you lived?

• Do you feel it is important to be remembered after you die?

BOTTOM LINE: What questions keep you awake — or put you to sleep — in the still of the night? Inspiration can come in the strangest of questions.

• For more questions that might break your brain, check out the ShowerThoughts subreddit.
• You might be surprised at how many of your unanswerable questions have been answered!
  • Try asking your questions of the masses at Quora.
  • The experts at EtymOnline have fascinating insight into the way English etymology shapes the way native English speakers think about things.
  • For super reliable sources, check out Snopes, especially if you can’t determine whether something is true.