swearing

THE UPSIDE OF BAD HABITS

Posted on by vlaw759

I’ve long maintained that people always do things for a reason—or more than one. Even habits are not “just habits.” There are reasons people repeatedly do something—often non-consciously—and this includes bad habits. At this point, most writing on the topic of bad habits would veer off into a discussion of ways to break them. But this blog is about what people get out of their habits that might not be immediately obvious.

Soviet cigarette ads were weird.

A bad habit is that action which causes problems for our health, income, career, or relationships.  Something that is bad is unpleasant, harmful, or undesirable.

Note: Some of the behaviors listed here might not be considered bad habits by everyone.  Anything done to excess can become harmful, after all. Drinking too much water can lead to hyponatremia. Spending too much of your time helping others can lead to ignoring self-care.

Here, in no particular order: 

Smoking

“Smoke Like a Captain”
  • Create an image  
    • Sophisticate with a cigarette holder
    • High roller with an expensive cigar
    • Macho man
  • Pausing to think before responding without obviously pausing
  • Get an energy hit
  • Creates situations for social connections that might not otherwise happen
  • Provides a brief break from work or stressful situations

Drinking 

  • Relax in a socially tense situation
  • Create an image of sophistication, wealth, etc., depending on the drink
  • Regularly drinking heavily increases tolerance, making it less likely the drinker will make a drunken misstep
  • Moderate drinking reduces likelihood of a heart attack by about a third
  • Alcoholic beverages are sure to be free of water parasites in places where other beverages are chancy

Negative Thinking

  • When things go bad, “I told you so”
  • When things go well, pleasant surprises

Eating Junk or Fast Food

  • It’s handy, so no effort
  • It’s relatively inexpensive, so easy on the wallet
  • Service is fast, so it’s an efficient choice
  • Higher levels of fat, salt, and sugar provide temporary dopamine surges
  • Can become family ritual, if eaten infrequently
  • Create positive associations with otherwise negative experiences (lollipop at the doctor’s office)

Anger Outbursts

  • Intimidates more timid people
  • Creates the impression of passion or strong feelings
  • Less likely to bottle anger and turn it inward, resulting in ulcers, high blood pressure, etc.

Indulging a Greedy Nature

  • Gets one more of the good stuff (sometimes)
  • Incite envy/ jealousy in others

Telling Lies

  • “Little white lies” ease socially awkward situations
    • E.g., “Of course your new haircut is flattering…”
  • Avoid punishment
  • Shift blame
  • Keep positive secrets, such as a surprise party

Excessive Screen Time

  • Keep up with news and fads
  • Have the topics for conversation 
  • Avoid boredom
  • Improve hand-eye coordination (video games)

Always Criticizing

  • Builds one’s self-esteem by comparison
  • Intimidate potential critics
  • Temporarily look like a subject expert

Nail-Biting

  • Makes paying for manicures unnecessary
  • Shows intense feelings
  • Is less destructive than other bad habits
  • Occupies hands to prevent other, worse habits, such as smoking

Gobbling Food 

Eating quickly is fairly common in some circumstances. Gulping down a meal within a few minutes is a bit less common.

  • Saves time for other things
  • Demonstrates that food is not important
  • Potential future in speed-eating competitions

Not Maintaining Hygiene and Cleanliness

  • Saves time and energy
  • Saves money on grooming products
  • Allows focus on things other than personal appearance

Procrastination

  • You never have to feel like a failure  because “I could have aced it ill I’d spent more time on it”
  • If you procrastinate but succeed or excel anyway, you’ve saved time to do more/other things
  • If a procrastinator is successful, it’s a big boost to one’s self-perceived capability

Keeping Late Hours

  • Fewer people around to interrupt
  • Hours when no one is criticizing what one is doing
  • Easier to conduct a clandestine affair
  • Boosts one’s self-concept as a non-conformist
  • Minimize hours spent with unpleasant spouse or other family
  • Night shift workers are often paid more
  • Facilitates communication with people in other time zones

Swearing

  • Substitutes for more physically violent anger outburst
    • (E.g., throwing things, punching the wall)
  • If conducted at great volume, it’s good for one’s lungs 
  • Can encourage verbal creativity
  • Is typically a sign of honesty

Fidgeting

Tapping toes, drumming fingers, or other incidental movements

  • Relatively safe way to release nervous energy and creativity
  • Makes it easier to maintain weight, heart and lung health
  • Unconscious form of drilling for musicians and dancers

Avoiding Exercise

  • It saves energy
  • It allows more time for other things
  • If conscious decision, can save money on exercise clothes/ equipment/ memberships 

Humming or Talking to Oneself

  • Self-soothing when anxious
  • Clarify thinking when facing a difficult decision
  • Relieves the silence for those living alone
  • May be the only way to have an intelligent conversation

Interrupting

  • Express more of one’s own opinions
  • Stop an opponent from making points
  • Shows enthusiasm for topic
  • Can prevent someone else accidentally divulging sensitive information

BOTTOM LINE: The downsides of bad habits have been well-documented. But everyone gets something out of every act, especially repetitive acts.

WHY CONSIDER THE F WORD?

Posted on by vlaw759
 
When Jesse Sheidlower wrote this book, he was the Editor at Large of the Oxford English Dictionary.  The book was published by Oxford University Press, one of the most prestigious academic presses in the world.  The 49 pages of front matter and the 269 pages in the body of the book deal exclusively with the F word.  Seeing this started me thinking.  Ultimately, I concluded that the F word is one of the most important words in the English language.  And therefore writers should consider its many uses.
One indicator of importance is the number of euphemisms coined to express the F word without tipping into the vulgar or obscene.  A woman born and reared in North Carolina once told me that when a Southern Lady wants to say the F word, she says “Fine!”

That one wasn’t familiar to me, but we’ve all heard many others.  These are what is sometimes called a “minced oath.”  Here are some examples:

  • Effing
  • F-bomb
  • F word
  • F*ck
  • F**k
  • F***
  • F-ck
  • F—k
  • Flaming
  • Fracking
  • Fricking
  • Freaking
  • Frigging
  • FUBAR
  • Fudge
  • WTF
  • Flipping
  • Fork/ Forking
  • Foxtrot Uniform
  • Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
  • Smurfing
  • Frelling
  • Bleep/ Bleeping
  • Fark (not to be confused with FARC, which might add unintended political themes to your work!)
  • fiddle-faddle
  • fiddlesticks
  • fug
  • cotton-pickin’
  • I could keep going, but the internet would eventually run out of pixels…

Although listeners know exactly what the euphemism stands for, many feel that the impact of the euphemism loses much of the cathartic value of the original and may come across as tepid, ineffectual, or just plain namby-pamby.

The original namby-pamby himself, poet Ambrose Philips

William Shakespeare was one of the most creative users of minced oaths and euphemisms to describe everything from copulation to defecation, writing some of the most vividly imaginative phrases to avoid the censorship of the age.  Juliet may have had the sheath to make Romeo’s dagger happy, but no children’s ears had to be covered.

Miniature, Jean de Meun, The Roman de la Rose, Couple in a bed, Chantilly, musee Conde, Miniature. (Photo by: Christophel Fine Art/UIG via Getty Images)

Of course, this still wasn’t clean enough for Dr. Thomas Bowdler and his sister Harriet.  In 1818, they announced the publication of a G-rated book of Shakespseare’s work, in which “those words and expressions are omitted which cannot with propriety be read aloud in a family.”  The Family Shakespeare didn’t sell particularly well (and was a pretty short book), but “bowdlerise” became a term for overdone, fussy, prissy censorship.

Note to writers: consciously decide whether to use a euphemism or the original.  There is a time for vulgarity and a time for bowdlerising.

The F word is so prominent in English that the basic entry for fuck in Slang and Euphemism runs a full half page, followed by 60 entries directly involving the word, and surrounded by acronyms that take the place of actually saying the word.  Though the origins are unclear, it dates back at least to 1475.

Basically, it refers to a sexual act, an act of copulation.  It’s universally characterized as obscene or at least vulgar.  However, over time, much of the resistance to the original word has been diluted by long and frequent use.
 And it is arguably the most versatile word around.  In modern usage, the F word and its derivatives (such as fucker and fucking) can be used as a noun, pronoun, verb, adjective, conjunction, interjection, or adverb.
 
Verb:
  1. A sexual act in its most straightforward form, as in “Let’s fuck.”
  2. Transitive: John fucked Mary.
  3. Intransitive: Mary was fucked by John.
  4. To cheat or mistreat someone, as in “She totally fucked me.”

No matter your use of the verb, taking inspiration from spiders is probably not a good idea.

Noun:
  1. Referring to the act itself, as in a specific event being “ A great fuck.”
  2. Referring to a partner, as in “A great fuck” referring to the other person involved.
  3. Referring to an incentive or strong feeling on any subject.

Note to writers: make sure the context clearly specifies ambiguous meanings.
 
Pronoun:
  1. Used in place of his/her, as in “Tell the fucker at the end of the bar that I buy my own drinks.”

“…and tell him I prefer not to drink fire.”

 

Adverb:
  1. A modifier to a verb as in

That was some fucking dancing out there!

or

He was fucking sleeping on the job!

2. A modifier to another adverb, as in “The Broncos played fucking well out there.”

3. A modifier to an adjective, as in “Fucking beautiful.”

Adjective:
  1. A modifier to a noun, as in “That was some fucking speech!” or “I had a fucking good time.”
Conjunction:
  1. Connecting two parts of a sentence, as in “I left, fuck the boss’s order.”

Exclamation or intensifier: fuck can express innumerable emotions.  Most often, as a single word, it expresses joy, despair, surprise, or anger.
 
 
 
But fuck can intensify virtually any emotion, depending on surrounding situation or text.
  • Ignorance: Fuck if I know.
  • Trouble: Mary returned and  I’m fucked now
  • Fraud: I got fucked in the real estate deal.
  • Aggression: Fuck you!
  • Displeasure: What the fuck do you think you’re doing?
  • Difficulty: I can’t understand these fucking data!
  • Incompetence: You fuck-off!
  • Stupidly or incompetence: You really fucked up that negotiation.
  • Rejection: Get the fuck out of here. Fuck off.
  • Suspicion: What the fuck are you doing?
  • Apathy: I don’t give a fuck.
  • Dismay: Oh, fuck, they left without us
  • Anxiety: I am totally fucked today.
  • Greeting: How the fuck are you?
The Bro-Hug, as explained by Higher Un-Learning
The F word has a long and varied history.  Though its origin remains somewhat obscure, it most likely derives from an early Germanic root, such as peuk (to prick), fokken (to thrust), or peig (hostile).  Though linguists can’t seem to agree on the etymology, most agree that “fuck” has been a vulgar or taboo word for most of its very long history, which contributes to the difficulty of tracking down its history as it was not officially used or written down often.

Is this frelling or fracking?

It has a Wikipedia entry that runs to 19 pages, which goes into the history and gives examples of modern usage in politics, marketing, and literature.  And as the Urban Dictionary says of it, “The only fucking word that can be put everyfuckingwhere and still fucking make fucking sense.”

Bottom line for writers: The F word is useful, versatile, and becoming ever more acceptable.  But should you decide to use it, use it sparingly as the narrator, and limit it to one or a few characters.  It loses its impact with repetition (see The Wolf of Wall Street).